Alright guys! So we're off a great start! We've chosen the type of text that the project will, we've chosen what the topic will be, and we've chosen who it will be about. Now we can start writing!
So, just to recap everything:
This project will be a short story collection.
The topic is:
"Pick one figure, real or fictional, whom we all admire, and write a collection of short stories some how revolving around that figure, tying it together in a single round of editing at the end.
The stories don't even have to feature that figure as a character per se, just be related to the figure even tangentially.
I'm thinking something like Tarantino's Pulp Fiction, different tales of the same people, strung together in time."
And the figures that we will write about are David Foster Wallace and Slavoj Zizek.
Now, we can also add in a third figure if you guys want, but DFW and Zizek are the main guys.
Here is a link to the current Google Doc that we are working from: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1L10Cbgj7CUEAe1-LwwNfYY1BkVaO8x976IkAtcL1Ll4/edit#
And here is a link to the previous thread if you'd like to read through it: >>7546342
So now all we need, but isn't terribly important right now, is a book title.
>>7560292
It seems that you've removed a great deal of short stories.
Are you planning to leave the others currently in the file?
- a concerned author
Are you planning to leave the ones left over?
>>7560336
Since those short stories were written before the topic was decided, I felt that they were no long relevant, so I've removed them
I don't plan on removed anymore that are currently in the file, although one or two don't have much to do with either DFW or Zizek.
>>7560347
Some of them might make a great introduction - I mean the poem or the Empty Man novella. How about that?
>>7560292
Title Suggestion:
Of Memes & Mysteries
>>7560353
Yeah, those I'll keep, they're pretty good.
>>7560292
Title Suggestion:
The Ideologians
Title Suggestion:
tfw dfw
Title Suggestion:
Endless Ideology
Why can't I footnote footnotes. I am literally crying because of that.
>>7560380
Because then you could footnote the footnote footnotes and so on and so forth
>>7560384
I would happily footnote the shit out of those footnotes.
Not to be a Jew, but are we gonna get credit for this?
>>7560392
>Not to be a Jew, but are we gonna get credit for this?
...
Jew confirmed.
>>7560397
I don't mean financial credit, just a mention at the end. It would encourage better writing.
>>7560392
You'll be credited as Anonymous. Nobody will get their name credited, the only author and contributor will be "Anonymous".
>>7560392
New idea. Since this guy actually wants credit for this, let's give it to him.
Let's put his name and his name only on it. For all eternity.
>>7560402
This has nothing to with me, faggot. I mentioned the credit thing in order to convince people to write less shitty prose.
>>7560407
We need your name, last name, your documents and your credit card
>>7560407
Well, so far, the prose is not that shitty. I think, that the collective uncoscious is able to sort those things out.
When someone purchases a copy, how is the revenue structured?
There are ways to credit an author without using their real name. Dalton Trumbo used to run a similar racket.
>>7560424
Fuck that, the guy who has the balls to take this book unironically to a publisher should get the revenue
>>7560439
Although, we can still try to publish it by normal means aswell. Penguing might have discarded Hypersphere as not being classic enough, but I do believe that we're going to surpass the success of Hypersphere and thus immortalize ourselves in the pantheon of dank literature.
>>7560446
If we can get this published with Penguin, then that would be quite the feat.
>>7560449
I think, that in order to do so, we would have to write an essay proving the importance of the book. I think that such a task is not beyond our reach.
>>7560292
Title Suggestion: If the man is sad, then throw him out!
hey OP for whatever reason docs is taking almost every character I type as a separate suggestion, any way to fix this?
>>7560490
Yeah, I noticed that.
That is very weird, don't know how to fix that, sorry.
>>7560495
I can work through it as long as it doesn't bother you too much
>>7560500
Nah, it's all good.
>>7560495
You aren't gonna remove that DFW/Zizek/Gaben crossover are you?
>>7560612
Nope, that's staying.
>>7560490
Perhaps work your piece in a separate Word doc then paste the entire opus in when absolutely confident in its veracity.
How long will we expect to wait before we can buy this thing?
Alright guys, here's a strawpoll of all the names that have been suggested so far.
I will create more polls once we get a lot more suggestions if people don't like the ones currently on the list.
http://strawpoll.me/6486592
>>7560649
Since this is a small project, and we're already 25% of the way through the page number target, I expect it to be done and submitted to the publisher by the end of the month.
>>7560666
Call it The Folly of Rain: The Ideologies
>>7560674
The Folly of Rain : The Ideologies of memes and mysteries and endless Ideology to Remember the Quagga
>>7560684
This
I'm trying to write, but it get's deleted ;(
I'm Lou Skunt btw
>>7560292
Fuck off. Shitting these things out ruins em. That's why TLOTIAT and Hypersphere were alright and why Miami and tokyo drift were utter shit. I know you're butthurt you were on reddit instead of here when they were being written but this is no time for a shitty "oo me too!"
>>7560744
I was here when Hypersphere was written, and have my own work in it. I'm not trying to get in on anything.
And this isn't going to be anywhere as large a project as Hypersphere or Tundra. And it's actually looking quite good so far.
>>7560744
>you're not allowed to have fun because I don't like it
k bud
Why are you guys trying to churn these out like a factory?
>>7560765
Because we don't have a double digit IQ anon
>>7560767
I hope the prose in your book is more clever than your replies.
>>7560765
sometime you should get caught up in the frenzy of one of these books. it really is incredible. I worked at least a week straight, maybe more, staying up nights to work on Tundra.
You don't understand the fever. I have resisted all the books since then, but I know what it's like.
I'm going to be gone for about 30 minutes to an hour so if I don't accept your suggestions it's because I'm not here.
>>7560765
Congratulations! You're on the official reviews of the book!
Vil
This is a friendly reminder to those who wrote about Gaben, etc. We won't take in memes or unrelated things to Zizek or DFW. , if you like memes, go back the fuck to reddit
Title Suggestion:
Ideology's Blind Spot
>>7560883
>not realising it's meta satire
You really just don't get it, do you?
>>7560901
this
it's post-ironic memeing
>>7560933
I've already put some reviews and citations in the 3rd page, if you care to take a look
Vil
These stories are so edgy holy shit
>>7560946
pure ideology: the post
>>7560948
As far as I can see the theme isnt: "pseudo intellectual edgy meme short stories"
That's the recurring aspect at any rate
>>7560941
And I don't know who the fuck did the negro poem but is pure gold
>>7560966
that was me, thanks for the compliment
>>7560765
Why aren't you participating bitch?
>>7560292
this is somehow more unfunny than any other one of these projects. reddit please fuck off and stop ruining this board for everyone
>>7561003
Thanks for your submission, it's really helpful
>>7561003
Contribute instead of complaining
an ode to david foster wallace
tennis
bennis
death
fin
>>7561003
hate to dig the OP, but OP seems to be stingy and not open to pure unadultered creative freedom which made hypersphere so beautiful. The lack of restriction and the utter nonsense, i think forcing a theme on the internet is wrong. The internet or 4chan is the pure manifestation of human intellect and interactions, ie chaos. Encourage chaos
You don't determine what goes in our book you fuck, the theme is whatever the fuck I want it to be. If I want to write about Moby Dick fucking DFW's grave into the second apocalypse then I damn well jihad allowed to.
Point being, don't limit people on the boards, people who want to contribute contribute because it's chaos, it gets lost in the scream of a thousand voices, no one has to try and it's beautiful This is force smut.
>>7561040
best post this thread
i wish teenage redditors and facebook wannabes would stop ruining good things
DON'T FORCE IT. WE HAVE JUST FINISHED THE OTHER ONE.
>>7561124
If he was really open he should open the editing instead of suggestions.
Fuck, this is so forced.
>>7561112
too late, the r/4chan crowd wants in
>>7561132
Some guy copy pasted half of the Mein Kampf, thus closing editing
>>7561132
suggestions are just so that there arent mass deletions not so he can censor it
the ones forcing it are the other fags who think we have to stick with a coherent idea and don't want ironic memes
There are so many anonymous people who aren't writing shit. Come on guys, contribute.
>>7561159
>>7561143
>The topic is:
"Pick one figure, real or fictional, whom we all admire, and write a collection of short stories some how revolving around that figure, tying it together in a single round of editing at the end.
The stories don't even have to feature that figure as a character per se, just be related to the figure even tangentially.
I'm thinking something like Tarantino's Pulp Fiction, different tales of the same people, strung together in time."
k
Does anyone else think the book is a bit shit? It's not awful, but there are quite a few amateur mistakes and instances of overreaching, overwrought prose.
There's also a tendency for this faux ye'olde style, in the intro it's genuinely funny but in some of the later entires it's just embarrassing.
Is there something I'm not getting?
bought both the others, may as well buy this one
physical copies of legitimate shit are the best
>7561206
A symptom of constriction
I added mine and even I'm not satisfied
>>7561206
Different people wrote different things. I'm glad you liked the intro! It was fabricated thanks to Protoss and me
>>7561206
It's an old author's trick; you write out a really good intro and then pad the rest with garbage.
Well OP still isnt back so can someone just copy and paste the doc into a new document that is free to edit?
>>7561003
>>7561040
>>7561085
>>7561132
Hey guys. Look, I apologize if it seems like I'm trying to censor or control anything. That's the last thing I would ever want to do.
I want you guys to have freedom of control, it's what these books strive on. The only reason I'm not allowing anyone to just edit is because of trolls that ruin things.
I want you to know that I will approve 99% of the things that are being submitted.
And as for the theme/topic, I also want you to know that it's not as controlling as you think it may be. The only thing your short story needs to have is to in at least some way or another relate to DFW and Zizek. It can be a sentence or two, it can be a word or two. Everything else can be whatever the fuck you want it to be.
>>7561206
The ye olde style thing was supposed to only be for the prologue, I don't know why there's more of it anywhere else.
>>7561280
I'm back now.
>>7560356
A Meme of Fair to Middling Writers.
More Memes Than Dreams.
Wat?
Mercrier and Cabremer
>>7561288
> The only thing your short story needs to have
>only thing your short story needs to
>your short story needs
>needs
OP just drop the requirement, the only requirement is that the person submitting it wrote it. Trolls are the people who will write, we fully expect you to remove Mein Kampf, though leave a sentence cus that shit is funny.
>>7561333
*comprehensible
Also, I want to keep it at about 100 pages. 150 maximum.
this is meant to be one of the most intelligent boards, but you guys persistently churn out these absolute horrible writings. from an artistic perspective, perhaps this is the purest form of writing ever conceived. Perhaps it is so smart that it is dumb. Or perhaps everybody on this board is actually below the average IQ
>>7561337
Why so short? Why not 300? Also, I'll be putting in my submission in soon.
>>7561361
Since Hypersphere was just published, and it was such a large piece of text, I didn't want to start so soon again with a large project, just something small.
>>7561363
Ah, alright. I'm looking forward to this- I'll buy it if I'm featured.
>>7561369
Thanks, you most likely will be.
>>7561369
Good lord, you all keep making the best quotes
Okay guys, a lot of you want to make this Google Doc free to edit. The only reason I made it suggestion only is because of people wanting to delete everything, or adding things that are ridiculously irrelevant.
But since you've voiced very negative opinions towards the way things are working right now, I am going to make the document available to be edited by anyone, without needing my approval.
I hope that you guys can be mature about this and not ruin it for everyone else.
>>7561383
finally
thank you
OOOH YEAH NOW THIS GETS ME OFF LADS
>>7561383
I hope you've saved a copy prior to the easy edit shite.
>>7561404
Yeah, I did, just in case.
>>7561401
posting all the shit on the last pages,
comments at how amazing it is are welcomed
genuine feedback is not
>>7561451
Can I do some plagiarism for the citations? Too bad I've already done it
>>7560292
ATTENTION NEW POSTERS, THERE ARE NOW NO RULES EXCEPT IT HAS TO BE YOUR CONTENT, HAVE FUN
>>7561480
Unless it's really stupid, then I'm going to remove it.
And if people decide to delete any of the previously added work, then I may reverse it.
>>7561492
have it save to your desktop or whatever once every so many minutes
>>7561514
How can I do that?
>>7561517
check for add-ons
>>7560292
lol this is brilliabt!! we can do it reddit!!
>>7561523
What's up with all the Reddit posting ? Just tundra fags worried the new book will be better? For fucks sake just contribute instead of complaining like a little cunt
>>7561527
this project is so patently an arrogant forced shitspray by underage newbies who missed out on tundra/hypersphere the first round and were brought here by the r/4chan hype.
>inb4 contribute dont criticize!!!! because even we realize what we're doing is unfunny shite and we're desperate
>>7561534
How many times do I need to explain this.
I was here during Hypersphere, I've contributed, my work is in the final product. I didn't come here from /r/4chan, I didn't make this so I can get in on something I missed.
>>7561547
then why are you forcing this crap and bringing over the worst reddit-tier memers
just read what you're doing, it's total garbage. nowhere near the first two. just be real dude. you're forcing this thing with terrible timing, because you get a nice little powertrip being in control and thinking you're contributing to the community here...even though you're actually fucking it over
>>7561556
>he thinks this wouldn't fit in with, at the very least, one of the Tokyo Drift works
No denying the reddit shit, but I'm of the opinion that the "memes" or whatever are done in some sort of infinite jest of self-awareness
>>7561556
You don't have to contribute to this if you don't want to, you can just ignore it.
I never intended on bringing reddit-tier memers to this, just for /lit/ to work on something small together.
It was going just fine until I added the ability to edit whatever you want, someone kept deleting everything so I reverted it.
If you don't want any part of this, just ignore it. You're not obliged to join in.
>>7560376
this please
Inspiration coming right up
>>7561556
My writings good f u bitch Pg 53 or w.e
>>7561562
Do I need you to share the drive with me to access it? I can't optn e link in the app. Sorry, not very good with tech.
>>7561571
This would be really cute if they weren't euthanizing it for kidney failure
>>7561581
You can try opening it in your browser if the app doesn't work.
>>7560292
this again? wait a month or two, mein gott. this is iust after hypersphere got upboated to hell, what the fuck do you think is going to happen if you spam a new book now
>>7561587
This is a much smaller book, it'll be 100 pages at the most. I never intended on making something like Hypersphere so soon.
>>7561587
It's just a small project. Not meant to be a top teir meme book or anything. I think this work is going to be a little more serious.
>>7561534
>hypersphere
The same shit was said about that clusterfuck, anon. Calm down.
>>7561595
and they were right. each time it gets worse.
Could someone help me out with an issue. When I download the Google Doc as a pdf, every second page on the pdf is blank.
How can I fix this?
>>7561597
>implying hypersphere was worse than tundra
>implying /lit/ can make anything worth reading in the first place
>>7561598
Give it up reddit. You have no clue what you're doing apparently.
>>7561603
You're not being any better, faggot. Quit trying to prove a point and go back /b/.
>>7561604
ass
>>7561608
ass
>>7560376
Oh boy please this
>>7560439
We should build a dfw statue
Whoever added "The Infinite Jest of Regret" at the very end.
That's pretty good, man, I think that story will be the ending of the book.
If any more stories are added, I'll just move the story forward.
>>7561206
Once we have 150% of the material we need, the worst 50% should be cut.
Cuts are good.
Does someone want to make a cover?
Apparently, the current one isn't 300ppi. If no one wants to make one, could some one quickly explain to me how to make one?
I've got Photoshop, if I'm supposed to use that.
>>7561839
We've got 93 pages worth of content now, I feel that this is enough. An anon went through the document and made edits to various short stories, fixing incorrect spelling and such.
If there are anymore edits you guys think I should make, let me know.
>>7561823
You really like it?
It's never been published, FYI, I just had it lying around.
>>7560666
>C:\Users\Anon\Pictures\DFW
TOO GOOD
>>7561851
Yeah man. It's a nice ending too, at least, I think it is. And it includes DFW and Zizek.
>>7561853
Oh yeah, that reminds me, we'll need to decide on a book title now.
"The Folly of Rain" has five votes, and "C:\Users\Anon\Pictures\DFW" has four votes.
>>7561861
"The Folly of Rain" is pretty againsty... Also, really generic
>>7561875
Yeah, I guess.
What's a good title that could relate to DFW?
And maybe not something like "C:\Users\Anon\Pictures\DFW", although that's not completely out of the picture, since it's not up to me alone to decide on what the title will be.
>>7561885
So, The Folly of Rain, it is then?
added a short story about Adam Lanza.
>>7561885
Yes of course we get it, but just because it being lazy and without value is "the point" doesn't mean it isn't lazy or without value.
boringly lazy ≠post-irony
Okay guys. So, there seems to be a bit of a problem.
When I download the document as a pdf, every second page on the pdf is blank, but I'm able to upload it to the publishing site.
But when I save the pdf file as a printing file, there aren't any blank pages, but I can't upload it to the publishing file.
Anyone have a solution?
>>7561879
I don't agree with the other anons shitting on this thing, but I don't get why you seem to moving this project along at the pace you are. The various voting processes that are going into the choice of theme and title should be taking at least a week, especially considering how slow this board is. Quality content will only come about if you let it trickle in slowly over the course of a couple weeks too. For example the current popular title, the C/ drive directive thing, that smacks of reddit wanting to be vaporwave so much it's fucking cringe, but you guys can't see the forest for the trees because it's a handful of guys going "Oh man that's so siiick" giving the illusion of popular opinion, a longer decision process would combat that to some extent. Either way please please do not go with that title.
On a different note, I have a question.
Is there a character limit for submissions?
>>7561849
I would like to make a cover, I am currently a ramen eating illustrator in between commissions. I know you guys like the pink image in the OP but let me draft up an idea I have and if you hate it it can be scrapped and you go with your OG plan?
>>7561952
Yeah, I guess I should try to slow things down.
We've already reached the page amount I was aiming for, and I wanted to be able to get this done by the end of the month, so I guess we can slow things down a bit.
There's no character limit for submissions, knock yourself out anon, write how ever much you want.
>>7561957
That'd be good anon, thank you for your help.
i come back from this morning and there's already 100 pages?
Holy shit
>>7561983
Yeah man, it advanced much faster than I expected it to, I don't know if we should just keep writing or not, we've hit the page amount that I was aiming for and still have almost a month left.
>>7561993
>month left
Who came up with that?
Why not call it ready soon?
>>7561999
I thought it'd take much longer than 2 days to be honest, and I actually wanted to rush it by getting it done by the end of the month.
Looks like we can call it early, there's just some content that people can still add if they want, some editing, and we're still voting on a title and we need a cover since the one I have right now isn't 300ppi.
>>7561999
'cause we just released Hypersphere!
Also, the free shipping and 25% off code won't last forever, should we move into production or make something bigger?
>>7562002
>make something bigger?
As in increase the size of this project? I don't know, I wanted to keep it small since Hypersphere just released and it was very large.
>>7562002
>just made Hypersphere
Who cares why are you putting these imaginary spooky limitations on what and when we can make stuff.
>>7562001
What are the cover dimensions?
>>7562021
5.96" x 5.88" or 1788 x 1763 pixels (300ppi)
That's for the front cover.
Why not let people keep adding and then cut out the bad stuff. Quality is good
>>7562030
Yeah, I'm gonna let people add a bunch of stuff. Then later on I'll go through it and edit. I've left blank spaces before the ending chapters for people to add stuff.
>>7562027
wait what? That is like a box. not a traditional cover.
>>7562036
Really? Huh.
Well, the book is going to be A5 size, so I think just making it the same size as an A5 sheet would work.
>>7562037
>>7562027
>1788 x 1763
I got what you need
>>7562044
that is the right resolution and 300 dpi
>>7562044
Wow, that's really nice anon, thanks.
I think the title may end up being "The Folly of Rain".
Also, could you make the author "Anon Ymous"
>>7562046
Thanks.
>>7562051
Is the title set in stone?
How about a strawpoll with the best name suggestions.
>>7562055
http://strawpoll.me/6486592
It's either that, or "C:\Users\Anon\Pictures\DFW".
>>7562055
We did that and came up with Folly of Rain and C:/Anon/Pictures/DFW
>>7562006
I think we should make it longer. 300 pages max.
>>7562060
If the quality is there then yes. But if it is too long it will be monotonous.
>>7562059
The font for the windows file thing is Garamond so it should be used in the cover.
Hello, I'm unable to post on the doc
Can someone copy in paste it
An ODE to /lit/
It was at my fimble age, my flaccid confusion tore me apart
No music nor shows, or media, you see,
Could steer me now towards an art
That is often referred to as baneposting
For a big guy that he is
And I was taught memes and squad roasting
Yet I could not begin
Nor finish, in fact, start to cover
As the fragile fetus of my brothers
Shown his finger towards the sacred pit
The west end blue-board known as /lit/
An infinite jest it was indeed,
For I dreamed of giving sir Wallace my seed
But writing rate threads took their toll on me
As I was exposed to my own hypocrisy
So as I write my poem to you,
No filthy, deranged word can do
Just as I desire it to
Because /lit/ is shit
We all know it's true
Reddit has ruined this board
And you
>>7562093
I'm going to save everyone some time, don't bother reading it
>>7562097
lmfao im from reddit bro chill!
interminatis inferno
(endless hell)
>>7562120
yeah what gave it away
Alright guys, so I've eliminated all but two of the book titles now.
So it's down to "The Folly of Rain" and "C:\Users\Anon\Pictures\DFW"
Here's a link to the poll: http://strawpoll.me/6489096
If we choose the latter, could someone make the title a little more...pronounceable?
>>7562134
Hey man, still can't access the doc.
Mind if I email you a piece?
>>7562144
You can just post it here if you want, I'll add it for you.
>tfw title isn't "can't get no audience pussy on this tour man"
>>7562147
It may be too long. But OK, when I finish I'll post it here.
>>7562134
"Pictures of DFW" is how I'd abbreviate and pronounce that
>>7562179
Perhaps Pictures of DFW could be on the front cover, whereas the alternative could be on the first page
Pictures of DFW is too clean
>>7562182
That sounds like a good idea.
Is the anon that made the cover still here?
Looks like the cover title will be "Pictures of DFW".
"Cano tennisque narcotii," typed the author, knowing full well that he had only a cursory knowledge of Latin, a knowledge that even his most ardent fans lacked- so it would be okay, right? Somewhere in the distance, the gallows creaked as another body danced its last.
>>7562190
got you covered
>>7562197
Not you, anon, the other guy.
>>7562198
Put that shit on the back cover senpai
>>7562198
>>7562210
Thanks anon!
What program do you use? Your font comes out much smoother than mine.
>>7562221
Photoshop. It uses fonts as vectors not pixels.
>>7562224
Huh, that's weird. It doesn't for me. Is it because I'm saving mine as PNG instead of jpg?
the title is C:\Users\Anon\Pictures\DFW pls respect the poll
>>7562231
Don't worry anon, the title inside the book and on the cover is C:\Users\Anon\Pictures\DFW.
The "Pictures of DFW" is just an alternative title for it on the cover.
>>7562248
pls call it C:\Users\Anon\Pictures\DFW on the cover
>>7562255
pls take the bad title "pictures of dfw" off of the cover
>>7562257
The other will have to do that, I can't. But I think it's nice to be honest, it's easier to read.
I love what you've got so far guys, but I feel like it'd need at least 200 pages in it before it's ready to be released.
Some of these stories seem almost commercially good though
The author name is now at the bottom so that it doesnt get mixed in the with file directory thing.
Does someone want to make a better back cover? Also, we'll need a little space in the bottom left or right corner for the barcode thing.
>>7562273
This is now the official front cover, happy now?
>>7562278
I can also make the back cover if anyone else doesn't want to do it.
Can you post what goes on the back in text?
>>7562283
Basically those quotes, and then I guess something about the book itself.
Someone better than me should write that, I'm not good at blurbs.
Nobody even fucking reads books anymore so nobody ergo is going to fucking read this anymore
Ishmael. Piece is done. Would be an honour to have my shitty story featured.
Our hero begins in a bar
Ba as in the brandy that slides done ones tongue
And R for the flaccid emergence of ones inner monologue
Anon, he says, he calls himself by name, was not only the 9th man to enter the bar on a Sunday morning [at exactly 7:43 AM- PENGUIN PUBLISHER INCLUDE THIS VITAL DETAIL] but the last man to feel the warm touch of Sir Wallace's large, dark hands. Anon remembers the hands as deep red fists of leather, resembling that of his North American tribal ancestors, which take him to palaces of immense and sensual pleasure. Anon also remembers David's firm, rough voice, that was enough to pull him into the heavens of XTC [If you know what I'm sayin'] . When recounting the events that are about to follow, our hero often describes them as a recreation of an Aztec sacrificial ceremony- revealing his bare, Llama body to the Gods (Buddha, El Chapo etc) above.
But being 7:45, these two men were yet to make their presences known to each other.
7:46 DAVID enters bathroom after finishing his 6th shot for the morning
7:47 ANON enters bathroom
7:48 A STRANGE MEETING OCCURS
"Nice peenor you got there, pal"
"Hey now, that's what I should be telling you!" Anon giggled
"The names David...And you are?"
He took his hand off of his Man Stick and extended it towards Anon.
"Anon. Call me Anon. I know exactly who you are" He said while shaking the hands of a God.
"Oh is that so? Anon, why, that's quite a sexy name."
Anon placed his hands back on his Meaty Member McGee and giggled.
"Say, how bout we take this out back?"
"No, not yet David. I want to spend some more time with you first."
"If that be thy wish."
The team entered the bar again. Rich wooden tables of oak shone underneath the men as they discussed the brilliant literary novels of the 18th-20th century, such as Red Fish Blue Fish and I Am Malala. Yet even during the discussion of why the Harry Potter series is literary genius, the duo could not help but ignore the intense sexual tension building like a macho man between them.
>>7562278
>>7562318
"Oh, Anon. I can't take it anymore. This feeling inside of me, I cannot bare it any longer. You have eyes... like I've never seen before! They stab me, I say, right in my three hearts. Can you hear them? Doki doki, they go. Anon, dearest. You are the one. Take me away, even if it's for a little while. I want to feel you. I want to forget how to live, to breathe. I want to forget the difference between the skies and the sea. All I want to know if your love. Your ejaclutae- the orgasmic pleasure we will feel, your body merging into mine. Oh sweet love, I want to be swallowed whole by the passion you possess so dearly. Your tenderness, fat like the white of your T-bone steak, will belong to me."
"Aight" [EDITOR: I am creating contrast here between both characters- Anon is dark and mysterious like a WOLF or something so he will only respond with that ok!? It's my vision. It'll be revolutionary my friend let me tell you]
8:12 ANON AND DAVE GET JIGGY WITH IT
Our hero arrives at David's condo, Huey Lewis and The New's Hip To Be Square plays softly in the foreground, setting the mood to Medium Rare/Well Done.
"I've never done anything like this before" Anon admits, sitting at the edge of the Leppard print waterbed.
"Neither have I," David sighed, lighting a cigarette "But it just feels so...right. Like this is the moment I've anticipated since I was released from the womb, y'know? Do you feel that too?"
"Y-Yeah...I think I'm ready."
"Alright. Let's do this."
Seeing as our publishers are based in NK it is only reasonable to keep the sex scenes SFW or SFM (Safe For Military.) Due to complaints from the publishers the following scene will only be described in a timelaps, with brief captions to keep Mr S. Hyde, head of NK Penguin Publishing services, happy.
8:14 GROCERY STORE ROLEPLAY GETS OUT OF HAND
8:15 "I'LL BE THE STORE MANAGER THIS TIME"
8:16 ISHMAEL JOINS IN FOR A QUICKIE
8:17 ISHY LEAVES
8:18 OUR DUO COMMENCE IN A MEAT STICK BATTLE TO THE DEATH
8:19 "LETS PRETEND WE'RE LESBIANS"
[[ANYTHING BEYOND 8:20 AM WAS DEEMED TOO LEWD FOR THIS NOVEL, EVEN IN CAPTION-TIMELAPS FORM.]]
>>7562324
11:46
"Oh, Anon, that was amazing..." David lit another cigarette and pulled himself up from the bed.
"Tell me about it..."
"Hehe."
"You can say that again!"
"Hehe."
"You can say that again!"
"Hehe."
"Alright, you can stop saying it now."
"Heh- Oh, of course. Sorry, after just now... I'm having a hard time getting my thoughts together."
"Understandable..." Anon stood up, buttoning his shirt and turned to the smoking man.
"David, I'm sorry to take advantage of you in your vulnerable brain-dead state, but there is something I must confess."
"Confe- What? What are you even saying? I can't hear you, my ears are still ringing from the Moby Dick reenactment at 9:42"
"Where is it?"
"Where is...whay?? What did you say?"
"THE INFINITE JEST MANUSCRIPT! WHERE IS IT?!" Our hero's voice grew louder, yelling at the limp man on the patterned watery bed. "WELL? WHERE IS IT?"
"It's over there, God damnit! Quit yelling! My ears are still hurting! Why do you need it?"
"My confession," Anon picked up the manuscript "I knew where you'd be this morning. I knew which bar, and at exactly what time. I watched you for years, so I knew exactly what you were into. I transformed myself, you see, into your dream man. And for what? So I could steal with fucking manuscript and publish it for my own. It was my intention from the start to use a man's sexual identity and fantasy against him. And finally, after years of practice with old men on Craigslist and cheap prostitues, I've made it."
David was naturally shocked.
"Why I oughtta-"
"No. Don't say a word. Don't bother fighting. You won't be able to stand anyway."
Anon was right. No matter how much he tried, David couldn't leave the bed full of love juice and what now seemed like, regret.
"Why? Why did you do this?"
"Hold still."
Anon reached for his pocket, and a pistol was revealed.
"Oh God. Oh for the love of God, please don't! No! No! N-"
And then it was black.
Our hero, Anon Ymous disappeared after the release of his hit postmodern novel, Infinite Jest in 1991. And still, to this very day, the death of David Foster Wallace remains a mystery.
Cliche- end.
>>7562322
God damn it, anon.
>>7562283
Add the quote about buying it if they're featured on it
>>7562326
Added.
>>7562328
You realise that's a viable back cover, right?
Use it as a placeholder until someone makes something professional or keep it outright.
>>7562332
Hell yes.
Kevin McDonald's "Is Sam Hyde a Jew?"
Anon who's making the covers, I should warn you of the cropping.
And for some reason, the images look like they're low quality.
Alright guys, I'm going to be leaving for a few hours now. When I come back I will accept all your edits and stuff.
We've got a front cover done, and are just waiting on a back cover now.
>>7562373
Damn you it looks low quality because you didn't select bicubic sharper when reducing in photoshop. Pretty good other wise.
>>7562231
That title is embarrassing vaporwave trash.
>submitting to something with that title
>all of my guffaw
Kill yourself anon.
>>7562722
I wanted it to be [Inferno found]to fit the cover.
>>7563322
I consider the current title to be nice and representative. The cover is great and some stories are greater. When are you going to finish it?
>>7563377
The book is now at 126 pages, what I think is more than enough, and the stories in it are all good.
Now, there's just two small issues.
One, when I upload the cover to the publishing site, it ends up looking low quality, and also it's slightly outside of the crop margin.
And two, when I download the google document as a pdf, every second page is blank. I don't know how to fix that, unless you guys want a book that's 250 pages because there's a blank page every other one.
When I try to use the "Print" option and save it as a pdf from there, it comes out fine but it doesn't let me upload that file to the publishing website.
>>7563377
Representative of what? The fact that you own a computer? That windows is a popular OS? That file directories are cool when typed out in a Noe-grotesque font? Save it for your tumblr faggot.
>>7563390
blank pages between each page is super post modern... i like it
>>7563524
Considering the amount of notes our reader are going to be taking, blank pages are neccesary,
>>7563496
fuck off it spoerty
Okay, final strawpoll for the title now. Basically the same title, just different way of writing it out.
http://strawpoll.me/6493240
>>7561931
>I'm able to upload it to the publishing site
What? Allow an editing phase man.
>>7563626
Yeah, I will, but this is just for when we're finished. I can't seem to figure out how to fix it.
>>7563608
Oh I just fucked up, meant to vote for pictures of dfw and miss clicked
this whole thing is utterly reddit trash desu senpai
>>7563680
Don't worry anon, I'll keep a vote fore "Pictures of DFW" from you in mind.
>>7563705
Vote for "Pictures of DFW" for that cover. Personally, that's the cover I'd want to use.
>>7562210
Why'd you delete it?
>>7563684
You're utterly reddit trash, t b h f a m
>>7563684
Go back to Reddit poser SHITHEAD
Will we still be having a meritocratic culling ?
>>7564242
I'm not sure, the book is already pretty small, and I feel that all the content in it is fine.
I'm just having problems with formatting it when downloading the document as a pdf.
And also the problem with blank pages being added every second page for some reason.
Again, if someone knows how to fix this, please tell me.
>>7560376
Love it
>>7564259
try changing the margins from minimal to default
>>7564299
I don't know how to do that.
>>7564301
to change your margins to default click on File --> Print towards the bottom left you will see "Margins" change this to "default"
