![a4b55d1ef08ac855171cb3f9e43e3960[1].gif](https://i.imgur.com/QmRhCuY.gif "a4b55d1ef08ac855171cb3f9e43e3960[1].gif")
Dumping OC Poetry
>Enjoy the typos
Flawed Flower
How flawed our senses,
Gracelessly irked visions and various tenses,
All describing our beautiful romance.
A love affair with time itself, a queer sort of dance.
Beautying to all whom see its light,
Deflated petals and degraded flower, a sight
To remember in this beautifying light.
How imperfectly we describe this delight,
With words, paintings, and sculptures,
To buildings, romances, and cultures.
How we toil to share this beauty from the tallest tower,
The beauty of our favorite flower.
>>7509184
Blind
I've never seen the night,
I've lost it in my window,
tinted it with foggy glasses.
But I've never seen the night.
I bashed it away with bronze
candles, and with yellow lights.
I've had ballons fade off into
its doors, but I've never seen
the night.
I sauntered through a windy path,
in some rose tinted romance, and kissed
my lover softly like the fading
of the sun. I have never seen
the night.
I cradled her soft hair in my
corse hand and played with the locks
as she unlocked the door and faded
like the sun, into the night,
never to be seen again.
Car Crash In the Fall
My head spray painted the hood of his car,
the ashy grey matter air-brushed on new
tacky flames and a shiny blue finish. I
was the latest fashion in my last posing
for death. I spattered across the sidewalk
and played hopscotch with their crippled
"Ooohs" and screams. My bones wretched
and vomited onto the asphalt and a single
leaf peckishly dropped down into a pool
of my blood, and made the first ripple
of the day.
>>7509184
Cruelest of Jokes
Odd, that only those most talented may
judge others by that very talent. Odd,
that perhaps the entire system is wrong,
perhaps the entire time we thought those
idiots were not idiots, but geniuses labled
by those idiots.
Or maybe, it's the other way around,
and my mind is just a cruel
joke.
>>7509184
I snapped the muzzle of the soul off.
The muzzle shot off with a white dove
in tow. The dove carried a banner
that read in soft sansserif font
"The dead don't have eyes,
they cannot see what you have
done to me."
>>7509184
Lightbulb
Incadescent, your smile.
Burning yourselves apart
flaming away your body.
A corpse that decays away
as maggots glow in the distance.
The beauty of a thing that
can only be seen when on fire.
>>7509184
The End
The wealth stood in overturned ash
browned grass and torched fields.
The grave diggers union was the last
union. Are there no tears left after
the scorched body of our Mother is
toppled down like cracked glass?
Are there no morals left when carnal
men and carnivorous plant eat up
the last workings of our poor planet?
>>7509213
Will keep dumping if there is any interest
![market-data-report[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/iQKlSw5.jpg "market-data-report[1].jpg")
>>7509222
interest levels
![a055a4c6eb702954882d5b2b43ca6a49.462x260x1[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/Mj2oBoi.jpg "a055a4c6eb702954882d5b2b43ca6a49.462x260x1[1].jpg")
>>7509230
acutal levels
>>7509234
I used music as a crutch,
a broken disfigured limb,
a smoker's cough.
I needed the words to be
fed to me, read to me.
anyone?
>>7509313
ok!
Blessed be those who live in ignorance.
They will never know the pains of an obscured truth.
The uncertainty that sends a man into spirals of madness that bursts like the dam of a beaver for the floes of a storm.
For that they now know that they know truly nothing;
Only through hard work can one come of the needle in the haystack.
Determination of will is the only key to success.
Though blessed be those who live contentedly ignorant, cursed be they as well.
For to know the truth is to know true peace.
>>7509759
random note, not mine
>>7509184
Interspersed between dinner and boating
Were: forks clattering on blue porcelain,
Thick fabric shuffling over his shoulders;
Her sigh sinking into its iron lattice.
Her sigh on dry casement glass, condensing.
Cornered, lingering, savvy, melodious;
“Ok.”
His syllables die by the countertop.
“Let’s go.”
They wither between shoe-rack and sofa.
She’s solid; doesn’t remember moving,
But finds herself seated at the bow,
Shifting down the bench at his request –
Scattering dense rain pellets, cohesive beads,
To correctly distribute her weight.
Ropes off; the engine’s buzz encompasses
Her guts. It fills contours on her neck, her ear,
And rain lightly pounding on her jacket.
He cuts the juice, so the world opens up
From a razor hum to sheets of plucked string
Shifting past her gunwale and over lake,
Far to the other shore, past sight, and to
The timber lodge of bright warm wood
Glowing amid white birch, past miles of rain;
Over perforated, pirouetting liquid, and
Her cloudy exhalation; cohesive, mobile,
Rising. Nestled, distant, sits their home
And at the stern, his heavy breath.
>>7510461
jesus that was good, nice anon
hahaha wow this is so bad
don't quit your day job
>>7511361
The lemon light tinted the night,
its pocked marked skin peeled away
to the garrish sourness below. The
seeds made tiny ripples as they
were knashed between our gullible
teeth and sank down below the
sea and stank around them, for
a minute or three. Then they would
rise up like bobbing apples, and
imbed themselves in the dirt. The
peeled night would look on in
naked horror as its children
became one with the Earth, and
children of the sun.
>>7510461
Seriously, moar
>>7511431
I'd like to commerate your forwardness and acute accusations to my blatent obstruvise musings in a world thick with prophetic obviousness that you have for me emculately so laid forth like a gold brick layer with the world's densest rod up his prophetic ass. My appreciation for your clearing of the perverbial fog and illucidating me to the fallacious claims of intellecutalism that marr your life so deeply!!!!¡¡!!!¡
>>7511431
Thanks guys i'll post more tomorrow.
Thanks to the hater too, i appreciatw ur taking the time
>>7511487
Thank you for the reviews!
How does one get into writing poetry? Are there any good resources on the technical side of all things prosody? Help, I'm retarded.
>>7511495
write and keep writing, dont care if it sucks, keep going
everyday
>>7509234
laughed
Father mother kind of lover
Killer cancer kind of lover
Sound of silent melody in muddy rhyme
Silly sister loves another
Killer cancer kind of lover
Smell of beauty baby boy in rancid crime
Is it all in love
When you speak your mind?
The type of love that isn’t selfish but is kind
Is it still for love
When you fade and tire?
Or does it dissolve
Into selfish desire?
>>7511704
Huge potentional but fell flat for me, stop trying to capture beauty and follow it instead
>>7511738
So you're saying stop trying so hard?
'Stoic acts are to be admired',
Such was my naive depiction
Before its hefty burdens backfired
The products of my conviction.
I wake up every day
Imagining the pay
The terrible disrespect
Bestowed by my sect
The cult of individuals
Whom I appease at all inteverals
Conjoined by law, and
nature, growth, and land
If only I could tread
Past where I am lead
But that is treachery
To my hierarchy
No man may step beyond
Arbitrary lines of yond
I shall never do the deed
Bound by my creed
But most terrible is regret
For I will never disrespect
The papacy I hold as my deity
The bondage that is society
the galaxy whirling
algae- nested first dead
maple leaf
below the bridge
where where I stand
matters
in matters of
which preening new species
of waterfowl propagates
the sun and moss veneered
pond’s
eyecontact
bobs, a
bullseye-melting
periplanet
of duckweed cogs
and the odd dying leaf,
a humble nova
(under whom)
slides
all under
a well trafficked footbridge
at noon-light splashing
heightened transparencies
on the muddy
forest-edge
spring
for nuclear families
arguing
seeking a sage
only to find
an orgasm
(and they cork it!)
I
The day becomes you, forlorn Aging!
Pillar's pale effluvium-
A dismal hamlet's drearly raving
Anguished gray aluminum
You've birthed my dying! My proof's as ore!
Mount the gables, unlatch the doors!
Cast the whitening gust ashore!
The day becomes you forlorn Aging,
Columnal, rainy mage of yore.
II
Quiet alight, then, forlorn Aging?
Through hectic drizzle of the years
Your clock of bone'd scarce need saving
Hark! Golden laughter mauls the gears!
O Winter our mother! The gray-bright greens !
The misty swelling and the forms it gleans!
Common color, common queens ,
The day becomes you forlorn Aging:
Slit of nonce where true Death leans.
III
The day becomes you, forlorn Aging!
Rolling rumps of autumn shrub
Dawn to dusk, my Songbird bathing
In stain of Earth, the cosmic cub!
Stormy hoar! You'll have me flying!
Wherefrom my skin has had me shying!
Oh passion's litany , for the Songbird vying!
Though day becomes you forlorn Aging,
Darn , you should, that tunic Dying!
bumpinn
Now Suzanne takes your hand
And she leads you to the river
She is wearing rags and feathers
From Salvation Army counters
And the sun pours down like honey
On our lady of the harbour
And she shows you where to look
Among the garbage and the flowers
There are heroes in the seaweed
There are children in the morning
They are leaning out for love
And they will lean that way forever
While Suzanne holds the mirror
And you want to travel with her
And you want to travel blind
And you know that you can trust her
For she's touched your perfect body with her mind.
Labyrinths inside my dome,
Closely resemble a hive
Where horrid creatures roam
And nothing seems alive.
Walking through its corridors,
I saw a ghost strolling loose.
It seemed to be a foreigner,
Its character i tried to deduce.
Many alike I had already seen;
None were as ugly or strong.
It kept writing: "you have sinned"
On the dark walls all along.
Attempts to soothe it were fruitless,
They magnified its passion.
Every wall is painted now, yes,
I'm stuck here as its ration.
>>7511778
basically the poem itself started really well and has the flow of a talented hand. The issue was it felt like you were grabbing for something rather than something grabbing towards the end, like you got excited for producing a quality piece and hurried to adorn it with the proper fixtures
>>7512241
very fucking quaint, cute and powerful, dig it
>>7512172
If I had to suggest anything, I would say try to begin more lines with more interesting words. Every one of your lines begins with 'now' 'and' 'from' 'and' 'they' 'there', these words are boring. I like your poem though, it just needs some makeup
>>7512241
You have a tremendous talent for imagery my man, I was with you the whole time. Only thing I would say to work on is your flow, found it kind of awkward to read sometimes because the rhythm seemed off. Great job with the poem though dude
>>7513345
It's a Leonard Cohen song.
>>7512554
Yeah this was for a song I'm writing and the 2nd stanza is supposed to be the chorus, so I see what you mean. I'll have to work on it more.
Here's mine. It's about the struggle in life.
FUUUUU HUH HUUUUCK
Oh GOD!
OH SH -- FUCK! FUCK!
SHIT GOD FUCK!
OH GOD FUCKING HELL.
Jesus Christ.
>>7513360
Well tell Cohen he fucked up and should stick with hallelujah
>>7513369
And I'll dance with you in Vienna
I'll be wearing a river's disguise
The hyacinth wild on my shoulder,
My mouth on the dew of your thighs
And I'll bury my soul in a scrapbook,
With the photographs there, and the moss
And I'll yield to the flood of your beauty
My cheap violin and my cross
And you'll carry me down on your dancing
To the pools that you lift on your wrist
Oh my love, Oh my love
Take this waltz, take this waltz
It's yours now. It's all that there is
>>7513741
huh i like it, but for whatever reason I didn't relate to it
To Build a House
The black pulsing vein kisses the needle,
It inhales the nectar as a tongue needs sugar.
The venom is set and the corpse has rearrange
Its belongings to feel the poison’s ink.
The tar-y honey this man has just injected
Is a comical drug. Poison the inside,
And make beautiful the outside.
Paint the walls with corrosive acid,
And the colors will stand while
The house will eventually fall.
Building the bright purples of the house,
As the beams slowly give in,
Needle, by needle.
>>7513369
This is bait
>>7512241
I like it but it's clunky. Read it aloud and you'll see what I mean. The only verse I think is salvageable is the last and even that needs polishing.
Kiss me out of the bearded barley
Nightly, beside the green, green grass
Swing, swing, swing the spinning step
You wear those shoes and I will wear that dress.
Kiss me down by the broken tree house
Swing me upon its hanging tire
Bring, bring, bring your flowered hat
We'll take the trail marked on your father's map
Oh, kiss me beneath the milky twilight
Lead me out on the moonlit floor
Lift your open hand
Strike up the band and make the fireflies dance
Silver moon's sparkling
So kiss me
>>7514695
I felt kinda suffocated by one topic here, but it has some gems
>>7514834
Thanks m8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8N-qO3sPMjc
>>7514863
>implying it's good
Explosions pillaging the night
From the fireworks on the fourth of July
It's just my lady, all our friends, and I
Smoking cigars and yelling at cars as they drive by
We scaled a ladder ascending to the roof
While five years ago I leaped and no one knew
Holding my guitar, I strummed a tune
I sang "I love you, but I have to cut you loose"
As the
neighbor
lights
off
the small bombs
we
watch
From the rooftop safely
so safely
If I had never let go
then only God knows where I
would be now
I made a bridge between us then I slowly burned it
Five years ago, in my backyard, I sang love away
Little did I know that real love had not quite yet found me
