>"Why are breakfast foods breakfast foods?" I asked them. "Like, why don't we have curry for breakfast food?"
>"Heinrich, eat."
>"But why?" I asked. "I mean, seriously: How did scrambled eggs get stuck in with breakfast exclusivity? You can put bacon on a sandwich without anyone freaking out. But the moment your sandwich has an eggs, boom, it's a breakfast sandwich."
>Dad answered with his mouth full. "When you come back, we'll have breakfast for dinner. Deal?"
>"I don't want to have 'breakfast for dinner,'" I answered, crossing knife and fork over my mostly full plate. "I want to have scrambled eggs for dinner without this ridiculous construction that scrambled eggs-inclusive meal is breakfast even when it occurs at dinnertime."
>"You've gotta pick your battles in this world, Heinrich," my mom said. "But if this is the issue you want to champion, we stand behind you."
>"Quite a bit behind you," my dad added, and Mom laughed.
>Anyway, I knew it was stupid, but I felt kind of bad for scrambled eggs.
>>7504275
Man that's pretty good. What novel is that from?
>>7504275
It's 2015!!! Breakfast is an oppressive artificial construct.
>But the moment your sandwich has an eggs, boom, it's a breakfast sandwich."
That's not true at all
>>7504275
Because eggs used to be picked up from the hen houses in the morning and eaten fresh.
>>7504331
holy shit.. fukkin #rekt son
>>7504286
The Fault In Our Stars
>>7504331
absolutely blown the fuck out
>>7504275
Nice thread you fucking faggot
>>7504286
Ready Player One by Phillip K Dick
>>7504275
That's actually a quote from White Noise. Well memed.
>>7504411
Sorry to say it anon but you've been meta-memed
He just switched the name from Hazel to Heinrich
>>7504275
>be John Green
>disregard all forces of culture and history in order to make something customary seem ridiculous
>think the resulting joke is thus insightful in any way
I guess he can't help his mind being clouded. it must be impossible to gauge the humor or literary value of one's own writing, or even to hear oneself think, when Jamal is in the other room, pounding the woman you love even as you write.
>>7504318
hes so progressive a true role model for todays youths
>>7504275
This book is so fucking insidious. The destruction of our beloved traditions is a work that is so great that it has to start on the first fucking page.
I hope that John here sees the elimination of another boundary. I hope he's like the guy who was impaled by the vulture in Kafka's story, whose blood was "filling every depth, flooding every shore."
>>7504275
Probably because eggs can be made in about 8 minutes and curry takes like 30-45 minutes.
Retard.
>>7504379
Man in the Dick Castle by High as Fuck Hugo
>>7504275
Niezche is my favorite living poet.
>>7504275
>Reads Shakespeare Once: The writer
He's literally trying to instill SJW values
>>7505272
He just feels that the best way to build up your intellectual capabilities is to question everything. Hell, maybe even question God...
>But the moment your sandwich has an eggs, boom, it's a breakfast sandwich.
The fuck?
>Naming your son Heinrich without having German as your household language.
What?
fuck. this is an amazing post. I was ready to shit on it thinking it was Green. Then I was convinced it was white noise and now i'm not sure anymore. I'm such a hack.
>>7504275
this reminds me of some fat indian chick i tried to fuck but she said no
in the morning you are hungry cos u have been fasting all night. u wanna break that fast (breakfast). so u wanna cook something filling and tasty really fast.
so u toast some bread and cook some eggs and that kinda stuff in like 5 mins and you have a nice hot fatty carby proteiny meal and it makes u feel good.
u don't wanna be bothering with turning the oven on and stuff like that cos ur real hungry (you've been fasting) so u just wanna use a frying pan and toaster cos those heat up real quick.
>>7504275
You know what pisses me off about this passage?
>I answered, crossing knife and fork over my mostly full plate.
Can someone point out what's so retarded about this sentence? Something about it screams self-indulgence and narcissism. Maybe it's the fact that I never use a knife at breakfast. Why would you have a knife? To spread butter, maybe?
I just spread it with my fuckin fingers
Looking for reserved, introspective male with a healthy dose of existential angst and clinical depression. Must be disillusioned with humanity and existence in general. Prefer guys in the 5'7" to 5'10" range but I can make an exception for 5'11" if you have a particularly caustic personality.
>Wrote the Fault In Our Stars
>Came up with the Nobel-Prize-worthy Cheerios analogy
>Made Crash Course, the Youtube channel that renders college useless
Truly the greatest thinker of our generation. He is my hero
>>7505602
I also don't like this sentence. it doesn't help that he just used I answered in the previous sentence too
>>7505655
>>Made Crash Course, the Youtube channel that renders highschool useless
ftfy
Daily reminder
"I write novels for teenagers now—such books are colloquially called “Young Adult books” or just YA—and whenever I’ve had about two beers and find myself with other YA authors, I always start in on this soliloquy about how the contemporary young adult novel was not invented by J. D. Salinger or Judy Blume or Robert Cormier but by David Foster Wallace, whose ETA scenes more closely resemble what most YA writers are after. Like, for one thing, the best contemporary young adult fiction moves effortlessly between high and low culture in that way that only teenagers and David Foster Wallace can. I mean, my favorite books when I was eighteen were IJ and The Babysitters’ Club #43: Claudia’s Sad Goodbye.82 DFW proved that one way to bring readers to complex ideas is to utilize the sentence structures they hear every day; YA fiction has been trying to do this ever since.
Also, there’s the whole thing of treating teenagers as intellectually capable and genuinely funny people, which IJ did not invent but did master. Plus, YA novels on average are more likely to use footnotes than novels for adults.83 It’s actually pretty stunning how massively so many YA writers (I mean, me especially, but also other people) have ripped off ETA and Pemulis and Hal, how deeply DFW has shaped our understanding of what it means to be smart and talented and scared and 17."
>>7505527
Seems like George and Jerry should be switched but otherwise great
>>7505903
I wonder how DFW would feel upon hearing this
>>7505297
Im a Christian and I don't have a problem with questioning religion so as long as you leave God out of it
>>7505470
Don't worry, it is John Green. OP just replaced "Hazel" with "Heinrich." It is hack writing.
>>7505957
Yea. People always attribute the neurotic observational humor to Jerry, when in reality Jerry was usually the sane backdrop for all the other characters. George was usually the one who made comments about inane customs.
>>7504331
Ayyy
>>7505903
That's actually pretty compelling.
But I didn't like the super precocious teenager schtick even when IJ did it. And I would guess that the ETA experience really isn't relatable for most young people - it's a hyper disciplined tennis academy.
Also, even if YA writers try to capture the atmosphere of DFW's ETA, they tend to populate that atmosphere with Mary Sues acting out wish fulfillment fantasies for semi-literate overgrown children.
is are this Delill or Graem help i dont understand i am having a hear aattack no more metamemememememem pls
egg salad sandwich nigga whatthe fuck
>>7505977
Well last time I checked I think god is a part of it.
>>7504275
>i want to be a philosopher like plato and socrates
>what will you philosophise about
>fucking breakfast
>>7506201
I think he means that questioning why people believe in God but leave God out because it would quickly just become a conversation of 'Why did God do this?' or 'God must be shit cause he killed so many people'
>>7504275
Because I don't want to have the shits throughout the day
>>7506284
That's not better.
>>7504275
the voice of a generation :)
>>7505461
>But the moment your sandwich has an eggs, boom, it's a breakfast sandwich.
Clearly John is a pleb that's only ever seen eggs in a sandwich when its an egg mcmuffin
>>7506225
>"Why are breakfast foods breakfast foods?" I asked them. "Like, why can't I have sex with my eggs?"
etc.
etc.
>>7504331
>What's the deal with airline peanuts?
>>7504448
>>7505602
because you cross your knife and fork if you want more, if you're done you put them together
>>7507202
Norm coulda got the million but he chickened out
>>7505982
they're probably attributing those things to jerry because that's what his stand up is like
>>7507234
He didn't chicken out. Regis fucking talked him out of it, and Norm was told to trust him, and that he was looking out for him.
>>7505903
>utilize
What the fuck why do people use that word?
It mean the exact same thing as "use".
I think the problem is tone. This scene kind of works in the Jerry Seinfeld few friends chatting shit type of way or in something like "Clerks", but when it's said as some kind of rebellion against the parents it sounds fucking retarded.
>>7508796
Remember this book is writen for 14 year olds. For them, a scene like this really is a tenacious rebellion against authority and shows the free spirit of the narrator.
>>7508307
He was doing some hardcore gambling through the rest of the show so it's on him for losing the opportunity to get the boy scouts or whatever the charity was an extra 500k
>>7508799
I get that, but teenage angst is laughable. The excuse that "oh it's just YA" doesn't make sense: a book has to be good full stop. People always says "oh it's just a children's movie so who cares if it makes no sense"; to me this is the same kind of thing.
>>7508799
Remember that this book is written by an adult.
>>7508774
Utilise is closer to 'make use of' imo
>>7508809
It isn't laughable for the teens reading it. Who cares about it being a compelling and meaningful book for everyone? You do realize that literary value is subjective, and that the notion of great or classic works of literature is so outdated. Books serve a purpose in entertaining a carefully targeted audience, get adapted into a movie, and then is forgotten for the next best thing.
>>7508837
I disagree.
>>7504275
I miss the days when /lit/ was neutral to positive on John Green.
>>7508840
I'm not debating whether or not it's entertaining. The fact is that a book which when analyzed by someone who isn't entirely driven by angst and hormones sounds laughable is not a good book. Real people don't talk like this. Nobody rebels against breakfast. It's laughable to anyone who's self aware.
>>7504275
>having cooked food for breakfast
>having breakfast at all
>>7504275
>"Quite a bit behind you," my dad added, and Mom laughed.
that's funny.
>>7504331
I'm sure you and millions of others do that every day in the current year 2015 (two thousand and fifteen)
>>7508849
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xqry17_the-dreamers-clip-the-lighter_shortfilms
that's true, but do you know who they are, maybe they are over-intellectual-thingy-family. That changes the game.
>>7508880
I agree with you, but the problem is that every single character that inhabits john green's novels is like this. Either he's bad at writing real characters, or he's overusing the "over-intellectual family".i'd consider that bad character design whichever one it is.
>>7504331
#SHOTSFIRED
>>7505297
Nice try John
LMAOing at the idiots in this thread. This is a Dellilo quote. Y'all got memed!
>>7508847
You're fucking kidding yourself.
I've been here for years and the nicest thing I've ever seen said about him was a comment about wanting to fuck him and never call him again
>>7508840
>falling for the subjectivity meme
Yeah, ot's John Green. And it't's similar to the family parts of White Noise.
Read fucking "Pierre Menard, Author of the Quixote" by Borges yall.
>>7505971
Kill himself a second time
>>7504331
JOHN GREENE ON SUICIDE WATCH
