>commit a serious crime
>get sent to prison for a long time, possibly even life
>spend that time reading
Is this how to live the true literary life?
>>7428987
There's plenty of heroin and gay sex too.
Yeah, totally /lit/.
It's up to the administration whether or not you get access to books or writing materials. If you commit a bad enough crime or if the warden just wants to fuck with you, you'll be stuck sitting in a concrete box for years with no reading materials at all. Some prisons don't even have libraries.
Pretty sure any prison library won't have anything worth reading.
>>7429015
>implying people can't send you books from the outside
Oh, yeah. Prison. That's what every great intellectual has ever striven for. Isolation, confinement, subservience and unwanted sexual advances from murderers.
You should totally murder your mother. Get real Freudian with it.
>Have to get fit so you wont get fucked up
>A lot of alone time
>Read books
>Have to be able to deal with other people
>ETC
That place will toughen up the mind and the body desu
>>7429007
Jesus Fucking Christ. Just imagine.
>you go to prison for some routine crime, maybe stealing books or stabbing in the eye the pretentious twat loudly talking about Infinite Kek in the line of the library
>get the usual 6-9 months
>try to behave well but Pedro or Jamal shank someone and then blame you
>all their friends support their lie
>(also they rape you)
>you get charged with 1st grade murder and get life in prison
>now you're in a maximum security prison with no books or even in solitary confinement
>watching a blank concrete wall
>for the rest of your life
>What's your defense, Anon E. Mous?
>I just wanted solitude to read some books, sir.
>>7429026
>Anon E. Mous
kek.
found my literary pseudonym.
>>7429024
>>watching a blank concrete wall
>>for the rest of your life
this is one of my biggest fucking fears
I get cold sweats just thinking about being stuck in a small room forever with nothing to do.
>>7429032
I was in a holding cell for 24 hours with nothing but car magazines to read and I almost went insane from that alone. Just endless pacing up and down the couple of meters space I had, occasionally banging on the door to ask the jailers if they were totally sure they didn't have any books they could give me.
>>7429032
There's a reason why convicts in solitary end up bashing their skulls against the wall after a few years.
Also, the US prison system is fucking medieval.
>>7429024
W-will the gang rape be good at least?
Does Jamal and his friends have n-nice cocks? :3
>>7429045
I'm not scared of death,pain or violence but being stuck in tight spaces and being bored as fuck just horrifies me.
![1d03ee937386b5d7f678697694e0b049[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/OYbYsxQ.jpg "1d03ee937386b5d7f678697694e0b049[1].jpg")
>you will never hang out and read books with Breivik in a comfy Norwegian prison
>>7429045
Wow we got a real tough 13 year old, everyone. He wouldn't care about having nothing to do 24/7 for years.
(Prolly illiterate anyway, so you've got an advantage...)
When I was 12 I knew a kid who wanted to go to prison so he wouldn't have to work. Even then I thought, damn, that's edgy
>>7429057
It's not rape if he spits on my boipucci first. :3
>>7429056
Is that pic seriously a norwegian prison?
what the fuck.
>>7429065
Yes, since Scandinavian prisons focus on rehabilitation rather than punishment.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halden_Prison
>>7429057
America should be destroyed tbqh.
>>7429067
What pussies. Don't they know that the goal of a prison is to hurt prisoners and harass them for the rest of their life even outside so that they're forced to commit crimes again and return to our lucrative private prisons?
>>7429058
>he can't handle the banter
>>7429074
It's so fucking dishonest how the American incarceration system claims it's all about rehabilitation when anyone can clearly see it's about security through isolationism and punishing people they don't like.
>>7429067
Do those prisoners actually reoffend less though?
>>7429076
>I was only pretending to be a retarded pre-teen
>>7429058
I said no offense there is no need to spurge out on me you insecure fuck.
>>7429084
>I thought /lit/ was my safe space! Why is this man-baby dudebro harassing me?
When Love with unconfinèd wings
Hovers within my Gates,
And my divine Althea brings
To whisper at the Grates;
When I lie tangled in her hair,
And fettered to her eye,
The Gods that wanton in the Air,
Know no such Liberty.
When flowing Cups run swiftly round
With no allaying Thames,
Our careless heads with Roses bound,
Our hearts with Loyal Flames;
When thirsty grief in Wine we steep,
When Healths and draughts go free,
Fishes that tipple in the Deep
Know no such Liberty.
When (like committed linnets) I
With shriller throat shall sing
The sweetness, Mercy, Majesty,
And glories of my King;
When I shall voice aloud how good
He is, how Great should be,
Enlargèd Winds, that curl the Flood,
Know no such Liberty.
Stone Walls do not a Prison make,
Nor Iron bars a Cage;
Minds innocent and quiet take
That for an Hermitage.
If I have freedom in my Love,
And in my soul am free,
Angels alone that soar above,
Enjoy such Liberty.
Why aren't you living the literary lifestyle like Richard Lovelace, /lit/?
>>7429087
You're a worthless piece of shit and I hope your family gets cancer and dies right after a pack of niggers has raped all of them in the ass.
No offense.
>>7429105
This tbqh family. I wish the same thing upon the 13 year-old but I intend full offense.
>>7429105
none taken m9
>>7429100
I don't need safe spaces, pussy. I can shit down your throat anytime I like.
That doesn't change the fact you're a little turd.
>>7429112
lol xD
can i save ur pic plz :3
>>7429112
can i pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez save ur pic :(
>>7429114
>what the fuck did you fucking say about me you little bitch?
>>7429114
Oh yes, we all know real badasses hang out on the literature board. Do you ever tire of humiliating yourself, or is it some kind of fetish for you?
>>7429112
pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez
why dont u anser ;_;
>>7429057
>America is the only country with shady prisons
>>7429126
>why dont u anser ;_;
I want to see how many more (You)s you give me. Please don't shit down my neck sir.
>>7429080
Native prisoners tend to reoffend less.
Immigrant prisoners (usually the majority of any Scandi prison) don't give a fuck and steal cars as soon as they're out again.
>>7429129
Certainly the only first world country where rape is part of the prison routine,
>>7429131
thats so mean
can i plz save it
i want to show it some of my friends on /b/ for teh lulz xD
>>7429024
>try to behave well but Pedro or Jamal shank someone and then blame you
>all their friends support their lie
I see you have no idea how prison works.
How are you going to shitpost from prison though?
>>7429157
truuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
>>7429135
The statistics are that about 2 - 4% of prisoners are sexually victimized in one way or another. It's a disgrace, but the fear is highly inflated. I'd love to see what the numbers in Italy or Spain are.
>>7429164
2% = 1 in 50
4% = 1 in 25
prison rape isn't really an inflated fear when you got figures like that
>>7429160
>>7429140
if you give me a few more replies you can save it.
>>7429057
Is the prison rape meme true? Seems kinda weird tbqh
>>7429004
>>7429007
>>7429015
>not being rich enough to afford good lawyers and/or bribe the right people in order to get you sent to a comfy minimum security prison
>>7429169
>After they were read this definition, 5 percent of men and 20 percent of women said they had been sexually assaulted in college.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/sf/local/2015/06/12/1-in-5-women-say-they-were-violated/
If that's to be believed, then you're actually less likely to be raped in prison than you are on campus.
>>7429183
More men are being raped than women purely because of the prison rape.
>>7429186
>If that's to be believed
you have made a misstep
>>7429183
no it's a rumor mostly. I have only been in prisons where everyone was doing short time but from what I've heard there are plenty of guys who want to suck dick and get fucked so that people just use them and there is no need to rape. maybe if you really fuck up and they want to humiliate you but they would probably just kill you if they had the time. It's quicker and easier
>>7429186
I wonder who I should believe
>Men who have been abused by other men in prison which is a documented,actual thing
or
>dumb hoes looking for attention by saying they were 'sexually assaulted' on campus
>>7429190
>>7429196
Even taking the most conservative estimates for college rape and assuming that prison rape is underreported, the numbers aren't that much different. My point is that prison rape is pretty overstated. There was a law passed in 2003 that made the punishment for prison rape far worse, and another bill in 2012 that enforced it more stringently.
>>7429212
No, it's not overstated.
>I was pretty drunk/high so didn't consent fully
College rape
>I was forced on my knees with a knife made out of razor blades against my throat so didn't consent fully
Prison rape
There's a pretty huge difference.
>>7429223
I assume you've never been to college parties or prison. Or a statistics class.
>>7429223
You clearly didn't understand his post. Read it again, and move your lips if you have to.
>>7429223
By the manner and frequency in which it's talked about you'd assume that every single single prisoner experiences that second example. My point is that it's less common than the anti-American xenophobes imply.
>>7429241
>move your lips if you have to
What Wizard wouldn't?
>>7429248
>In a survey of 1,788 male inmates in Midwestern prisons by Prison Journal, about 21% claimed they had been coerced or pressured into sexual activity during their incarceration, and 7% claimed that they had been raped in their current facility.
Yeah, sure sounds like it's very uncommon.
>>7429183
I work with a guy that was in prison for five years and he said he would get stabbed on a weekly basis because he would get in fights with "niggers that were trying to make me their boy." He was 20 and only black men tried to rape him, apparently. He said he wasn't racist until he went to prison. It's like a reverse American History X.
>>7429248
>anti-American xenophobes
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
>>7429258
>A meta-analysis published in 2004 found a prevalence rate of 1.91% with a 95% confidence interval between 1.37–2.46%.
Literally the sentance before the one you posted.
>>7429248
>anti-American xenophobes
>>7429266
>stabbed on a weekly basis
he must have looked like a human swiss cheese when you met him
>>7429266
Yeah, prison can definitely make one a racist. It's all the worst people in society, divided up among rival gangs based on race.
>>7429271
>However, advocates dispute the accuracy of the numbers, saying they seem to under-report the real numbers of sexual assaults in prison, especially among juveniles.
Literally the sentence before the one you posted.
>>7429289
Part of the earlier paragraph; unrelated to the sentence I posted. The Midwestern study is only referencing 6 prisons in a particular area. Those aren't national statistics.
>>7429276
Yeah he's got at least 20 scars up and down his arms and torso, but he got a bunch of tattoos to cover them up. You wouldn't be able to notice if he didn't point them out.
>Insane enough to qualify for NEETbux
>Still functional enough to live on my own
>Pros: virtually unlimited free time with which to live the dream
>Cons: poverty, loneliness, delusions, depression, anxiety, potential forced hospitalization
>Bonus (toss-up): legal brain-fucking via pharmaceutical drugs
>>7429341
Pros outweigh the cons big time tbqh.
>>7429032
Read Oblomov, it will cheer you up.
It's much more literary if you can get jailed for sodomy or being a debtor. Thankfully if you're flaming enough you can still get sent to prison in Russia for being gay, Russian prison is more /lit/ anyway. Even better you can get tuberculosis there, which is very effay and lit.
>>7429341
What is that psychological effect called? The one where offsetting two copies of someone's eyes like that creates tension.
>>7428987
okey but what is the most /lit/ crime i must commit to attain this life.
niggers howl at the moon m8
This only works if you live in a country like Norway, as a previous anon cited. For a guy like me who is placed in South America it's just out of the question, prisons here are a literal hell on earth.
