Ok so I've done a lot of scientific paper reading and thinking and stuff ever since I was diagnosed with GID and started hormones. Let me just sum up my understanding of it
>biologically XY male
>prenatally get exposed to incorrect hormonal dosages
>brain is feminized instead of masculinized
>those areas of the brain are immutable postnatally
>basically
>brain = female
>body = male
>using psych to "get over it" is impossible bc of lack of neuroplasticity
>surgery is bullshit because you cannot change your biology either
>best course of treatment is to find a way to let brain and body coexist instead of trying to change one to match the other
On one hand, I want to transition because, at least socially, I generally believe in judging people based on who they are and not what they are, and neurology affects who I am much more than biology does. On the other, part of me asks why I can't just be ok with being a girly gay guy, being true to my neurology in terms of how I behave but not trying to fool people into thinking physically I'm something I'm not. But on the other other hand, appearance is a way of expressing who you are, and if I act feminine and look feminine then would it be bad to socially present as female so long as I'm up front about being trans?
I get that wanting surgeries is chasing the impossible dream of being entirely female, but socially presenting as female can feel dishonest sometimes. Just presenting as male is more accurate to my biology, but I don't act anything like a man or really look like one either, and I definitely believe that men should be men and women should be women, but where does that leave someone like me, who unfortunately has a bit of both? I'm taking HRT because cross sex hormonal treatment has been shown to be an effective treatment for GID, unlike surgery or solely psych treatment.
What do? Present as girly guy or a woman with a birth defect (XY)? What is more important, my brain or my body? What's the right thing to do?
>>6158443
Just do whatever the fuck you want, this isn't a problem of logic being it's completely subjective.
I look like a girl, sound like a girl, act like a girl, have a girl's name, and am always treated and referred to as one but I know I'm guy and that's just how it is. It fucking sucks and you'll never be fully comfortable with yourself no matter what you do. You'll always be somewhere in the middle, you just have to find what middle ground you're most comfortable with and make the best of it.
>>6158506
thanks anon, this is basically what I've come around to doing. So long as I can be a productive member of society and don't try to force others to do something unnaturally then it should ok, right?
I just present as I feel comfortable, and it's other people who use female pronouns because that's what they feel is correct, not because I told them they had to use them but because it felt natural for them to use female pronouns.
Is there anyway to leave behind the shame of being trans, and being associated with the crazy tumblr trannies who really are psychotic and delusional? Why can't people just shut the fuck up about us and let us live our lives in the way that is most effective for us?
>>6158443
>>biologically XY male
>genetically male with XY sex chromosomes
They are different concepts just like legal sex is different. The view of yourself as the opposite sex or the expectation of different phenotypic traits is what creates gender dysphoria. The brain is the instrument of sapience and the observer of social interaction. Without the mind the experience is meaningless so if your mind says do it then do it because that is who you really are. Don't confuse yourself by trying to be objective like this is an outer body decision, any objectivity about yourself is just a simulation of your own experience.
>>6158518
Most people don't know about tumblrina idiots. I've personally never had any problems with people assuming things about me because I'm trans. Mostly people just don't know what to think and kind of keep you at a distance until they see you're not crazy, like you do with most people.
Everyone at all my jobs has known because I haven't gotten around to changing my name but no one has ever had any problem with calling me by my female name and pronouns and shit even when I'm not trying.
When I get real depressed and shitty a lot of the times I go to work in men's clothes and put my hair up in a hat and use my natural voice and no one gives a fuck. As far as they care my name is Anonette and I'm a girl.
Just live your life how ever you want, literally no one on Earth but you cares because we're all worried about our own shit. The farther you get away from transition the easier life gets, I've been full time for a year now and I still think about being trans constantly but it doesn't affect my life half as much as it used to.
>>6158596
>When I get real depressed and shitty a lot of the times I go to work in men's clothes and put my hair up in a hat and use my natural voice and no one gives a fuck. As far as they care my name is Anonette and I'm a girl.
Customers are a different story, they don't know me and obviously address me as male but that's just how it is. Can't complain if you're not trying. Like you said, people will see you however they see you and it's just how it is.
>>6158596
>Just live your life how ever you want, literally no one on Earth but you cares because we're all worried about our own shit. The farther you get away from transition the easier life gets, I've been full time for a year now and I still think about being trans constantly but it doesn't affect my life half as much as it used to.
that's encouraging, thanks. I have a harder time thinking about presenting female to my family than I do the outside world, is that normal? How do I get over it? Strangers fairly regularly see me female but I'd just feel weird doing my voice different and using a different name with my family
also how the fuck do you choose a name
