>>6539272
Transition and fuck your friend and the cycle will end.

>>6539324
OP here. There's several problems I failed to mention. My family is extremely trans and homophobic, I'm not entirely sure if I'm TG, and my friend doesn't know about any of this.

>>6539387
You should probably try to see somebody about it regardless.
As for your parents, do you still rely on them and if so are you in a position where you can become independent soon?

>>6539435
Unfortunately I still rely on my parents. I don't see any way I could break away from them for at least a few more years. If I was living on my own I would have already experimented with being TG and ordered some things to try and look more feminine. I think what deters me the most from transitioning or even getting into a relationship with my friend is the fact that I won't be able to have my own children.

>>6539521
Fuck, I'm sorry.
I wish I could help you somehow.
Just try and hang in there, I guess.

>>6539536
I swear it seems the only 2 ways out of this are to either find a girl that I'm happy with as a man or to come out as bi to my friend and have him make a move on me, then ease him into the idea of me being trans. This situation fucking sucks. I know if something with the girl I'm after right now falls through this shit is going to start again and I'm going to end up in my basement trying on my Mom's dresses fucking again wishing that I was a girl and going into a worse depression. Sometimes you just have to wish you could die in some mass shooting or saving someone so you know you're not a waste but with my fucking luck I won't get that.

>>6539674

>Sometimes you just have to wish you could die in some mass shooting or saving someone so you know you're not a waste but with my fucking luck I won't get that.

That was me a little more than a year ago.