Autoandrophilia edition
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Previous: >>6289982
>>6291255
TEENEE CH@ TIME
(teenee [email protected])/arrisonchan
>>6291255
>tfw checking my own adonis belt whenever i pass a mirror
tiny chat / arrisonchan
the gang's all here
it's kind of weird seeing CFH in motion im so used to seeing still pictures of her
>>6291247
Hey dollface. I wish I knew how that worked so I could offer some advice, but... I don't. What's going on?
>>6291255
Autoandrophilia isn't...
Oh, forget it. At least it wasn't enshrined in the DSM V.
is it ss if your bf is a manlet?
i want a bf
>>6291281
holy fuck its my favorite page from my favorite comic
>>6291255
>tfw posing as a boy on the internet so thirsty girls give you attention
>>6291266
That's nice to hear. A friend has had some unfortunate complications, but I do know those aren't near omnipresent.
>>6291218
>Top tier work honestly.
thanks.
>The takeaway that I'm getting from this is that it's pretty reassuring for anyone below 6'3"
I suppose. But
>tfw not below 6'3"
>tfw the probability of a girl my height being trans is 0.88.
When I started this, I was kinda hoping I could use math to show that my gargantuan height isn't as awful or clock-able as I think it is, but I ended up doing the opposite. ;~;
>>6291219
>Your pt = 0.003 number seems like a weird thing to look for.
I dunno. I just thought it was interesting because if you're shorter than that, then your height actually makes you less likely to be trans than if you were to look at it completely independent of height.
literal insane blogging continued from last thread..
>>6291252
>this happens every time you fuck with progesterone why do you keep going back to it?
;___; i know that having tits isn't worth losing my sanity, but i feel like i should be stronger than this, right????
this keeps happening ;___;
i feel like my perception of everything is just shattering and idk what to do anymore, and even stopping prog idk if that would get better?????
>>6291253
>>6291261
>>6291274
>what's wrong? talk about it
i literally feel like i'm losing myself. like my identity and grasp on reality and how i've been living and just who i am is slipping away from me and i have no idea what to do about any of it.
other than cry really which doesn't help me. i feel like.....lost in myself.
idk what i want out of life anymore or what my goals are or what i even do everyday. i have no recollection of feeling happy ever.
idk how to describe it. it's almost like .....HONESTLY? it's almost like it brings me back to my actual reality instead of the bubble i usually live in.
i kind of force myself to live in a world of distractions and constant stimulus to avoid thinking about everything and it forces me to leave that space and i'm just here by myself freaking out feeling suicidal ;__; I DON'T LIKE IT I DON'T WANT TO BE LIKE THIS, THIS IS HOW I WAS BEFORE I TRANSITIONED. I JUST WANT TO LIVE IN MY OWN LITTLE WORLD WITHOUT THINKING ANY OF THESE THINGS IDK?? I FEEL PSYCHOTIC
>>6291281
>>6291287
but to answer the question I think it's only ss if its a qt manlet, gross beardlets need not apply
>>6291284
We're in the aap thread, can I be your bf tonight?
>>6291277
It's not my fault that I can accidentally turn myself on my trying to sound like a boy :(
>>6291270
Yeah, I'm not really a flesh doll, I can actually move.
>>6291298
But you know it gets better off prog. You've been through this before. Draw the line and get off the crazy train.
>>6291298
meth is one helluv a drug dollbae
>>6291300
>tfw i had to google aap
>tfw no aap elanna bf
it huuuurrrtttssssss
>>6291298
Psychotic, maybe not. But it sounds like your coping mechanisms are failing and depression is setting in. Progesterone can do that, especially along with AAs.
>>6291298
PSYCHOTIC butte plz
>>6291245
i am trained with a snub revolver, a full sized 1911 and a bowie knife
>>6291298
what you need is a good dicking
>>6291299
do u have bf now?
post butt too pls
am i a girl yet
>>6291298
Have you been talking to faye about it, if so what does she think you should do? Get off of it?
>>6291298
>>6291255
>Autoandrophilia
this! evyone goes on about being AGP, but I spent years trying to be my own boyfriend, and I used to masturbate in the mirror as a boy and now I dont.
I still got some old pics too...
>tfw you run out of booze on a Sunday in a Christfag state
>>6291299
whats wrong with beards
I mean im going to turn him into a qt sissy as soon as I get my hands on him but still
>there are people itt rn who unironically want to look like a femme girl instead of a girl pretending to be a boy
>>6291335
i wanna plow your ass with my manlet dick
>>6291298
If it's hurting you, and taking away the means you use to cope with the things you can't (yet?) overcome, then it doesn't sound like a very good fit for you, or your life. If it's possible to get someone you love to care for you, for a bit, I'd really recommend it. Being unexpectedly open and vulnerable with no one to respond to it has never been a good experience for me, either.
I'm worried about you, Edie. Please do things that will support your health, and please keep talking as long as you want to.
>>6291337
>1337
wat
>>6291339
dumb manlet
>>6291295
These are all probabilities though, and once you get several standard deviations above average, human height gets kinda funky. ;~;
>>6291317
>ywn take kit out for a nice dinner, impress her with feats of strength, and be the big manly big spoon for her
Why even liffeeee
>>6291333
>tfw aap thoughts started appearing years after transitioning
Confusing shit
>>6291311
but what about my tatas??? ;___;
>>6291315
>>6291326
>>6291321
n-no ;_____________;
>>6291319
is this depression?? i can't tell if this is like something settling in, or if it's just reality coming to the forefront of my life.
it makes me re-evaluate everything. i have no idea why i do anything that i do or why i'm the person i am, and idk how any of it makes me happy.
maybe it doesn't? idk. IDKIDKIDK
>>6291331
i don't wanna bother her with all of this bs
>>6291340
but i should be stronger than this and i should be able to cope with this and wtf is wrong with me that i break so easily???? i'm supposed to be happy and fulfilled and be able to overcome things and i just feel like i'm failing at everything and i have no idea why i thought i was ok and idk what to do idk and now i'm crying again ;____;
>>6291346
mean
>>6291299
>tfw I would totally wanna be on the right
>tfw cricket wants to cuddle but she's all the way across the country
WHY IS EVERYONE SO FAR AWAY
>>6291354
Where are you?
and where is cricket?
>>6291281
So I need megamilks and and a small boy for fun dom times?
>>6291358
I'm in Oregon and cricket is in fucking Ohio
>>6291348
Yes, what you're describing really sounds like a worldview turned bleak by depression. It's the only thing I know, but you're not usually like that, so you can get it fixed, unlike me. In the meantime, don't let those doubts destroy you, they're wrong and unhealthy.
wtb
qt possibly amazon gf
selling
5'1 manlet
dollgang get bent
>>6291298
You know, Of all the times I've seen you post, I've never seen you act remotely human outside of this. You have my sympathies. I hope things get better. Truly.
>>6291348
>n-no ;_____________;
lol :3
>>6291361
>ohio
I'm in Pennsylvania, I could probably cuddle with cricket if I felt like taking a super-long road trip :3
>>6291365
are you on T yet? are you comfortable bottoming with your vagina or still dysphoric about it? have you gotten top surgery?
>>6291347
>tfw will never spend hours trying on dresses at home before my dinner with elanna to see which one she would like best
>tfw will never invite elanna over for a homecooked meal to try and impress her
;~;
>>6291360
i want megamilks real bad but its not happening for me i think ;~;
>>6291369
>tfw charlotte lives on the otherside of the world to me
>>6291255
>Autoandrophilia
This isn't femgen
>>6291376
I actually probably couldn't live farther away ;~;
>>6291298
I know you'vn't the best appetite for me.
However;
Real talk....
Maybe it's a sign, you know? Youve done something and lived one way for a looong long time without thinking about it.
Maybe the way things were, were great for the old you. But you're not the old you anymore. So... The day to day may seem like a stagnant relationship. Everything annoys you.
Stay on P for teh tahtahs...
But,
Try doing stuff wayy out of the norm for you.
Do things with people.. Maybe community stuff or do it yourself classes or a hiking group.
It sounds to me like you're finally awakening to your transitioned self as a new person & struggling to grasp who that person is.
I don't know where im going with all this.
But, all the bullshit aside, it seems like the last month was very transformative and introspective for you.
I'm positive any new decision/path you take will be the right one.
However, sometimes finding yourself means walking outside your normal box... Like trying everything until something fits.
Pls be safe.
>>6291371
9/11
September 11
Build a wall
Raise the Minimum Wage
>>6291376
>i want megamilks real bad but its not happening for me i think ;~;
Yeahhh and even if I got big boobes they wouldn't look all that big on me. I'd need like super huge lol. Don't think I'm much of a dom anyways always been the timid and submissive one or switch.
>>6291348
>is this depression
Psh, I assure you you'd know if you suffered from depression. It's essentially an unescapable curse which not only wakes you up every day, but haunts your dreams as well and any time you think you have gotten away, it pops back into your mind dragging you into the abyss. There is nothing beyond said abyss during such a depression. It is the idea, the destination, the finalization, the beginning, the end, the hope, and the dooming moment. You'll be well aware when you hit that point. In fact, I'd be quite willing to bet you have never experienced depression in your life. Maybe a down time here and there, but no depression. Depression is a lifestyle. A manner of living. Questioning things from time to time is far from what I would qualify as depressing.
>tfw no cricket gf
>>6291376
>she would like best
>try and impress her
But kit, I'm supposed to be the boy ;~;
>>6291348
>but i should be stronger than this and i should be able to cope with this
No, that's not a thing. You should be able to deal with the things that hurt and frighten you, sure, but those take time, and you're not a "determinator". You're a human being. And that means the best way for you to handle what hurts and frightens you is with help. Reach out. Just doing that will help you, and help them to help you more. I am sure that Faye would want to help you, here.
You're not "supposed to be" anything. If you aren't invincible today, don't punish yourself for it. You'll be sturdier the next time you pull yourself together if you don't pretend that what hurts you isn't real.
>>6291385
mm yeh idk which one i am like i think im p sub desu
its hard for me cause im not so sure tho
but i feel pretty sub ._.;;;
>>6291389
oh lmao im not good at this at all sry elanna. you are too cute in my mind to be a boy
;_;
>>6291378
yeah its weird but then again im used to like not living near anyone ;_; kinda sucks desu
>tfw no mega yiffs
>>6291389
>elanna
>boy
You can't have your boy card until you challenge me!!
>>6291387
Not every depression is existential, thankfully. Mine can't even be eased by meds. But light ones can.
>>6291329
more or less
post your's first :^)
>>6291353
>tfw I want to be on the left
>>6291365
I'd take you in anon but I already have my own little manlet :(
>>6291397
>its hard for me cause im not so sure tho
Yeah I'm not 100% if it's just because I have 0 experience or if I really am just a submissive one.
>>6291355
my tits get WAY bigger on prog, like noticeably ;__; that's why i take it
>>6291363
>>6291387
i was diagnosed with clinical, severe depression at about 11..... i've had this my whole life. i've literally had therapists since i was 7.
i just feel like..... i thought transitioning made it go away?? and i thought i felt happier and stronger and all this shit but now i feel like....
all of this is a lie? that nothing has gotten better and that i'm still the same person and that i still have nothing going for me in my life. i just learned how to create walls to stop myself from feeling it. which consists of superficial bs and being a robot.
like i have no point to living and i'm aimless and rootless and worthless. honestly. and if i stop taking prog.....
what, am i just gonna forget all of this? AGAIN??? shouldn't my life be better than this instead of just avoiding feeling what it is????
>>6291367
i don't come here to post about my feelings tho because my life is way better than a lot of other people who post here.
who tf wants to hear about some bitch, who passes decent with a partner and a job that gives her a lot of money for no work, crying and depressed??? i'm BEYOND privileged.
i should be fucking better than this, but i'm not, obviously. so.
>>6291379
i appreciate you saying all of this even though you hate me lol. the thing is like idek who i am. that's my problem.
i've lived with depression my entire life and never even stayed anywhere long enough to home. before transitioning especially it was like... a black hole. i never formed an identity. i've never known who i am. how am i supposed to know??? i've been disconnected and disassociated from everything my entire life. i just felt like transitioning got rid of that and i overcame it because my depression was linked to living as a man. BUT I GUESS NOT LMAO. you're right that i need to improve my life and all that stuff but idk how to do that at all.
>>6291397
Kit you are probably one of the most submissive people here.
>>6291403
hows this instead
butt pls sexy tall lady?
>>6291397
;~;
That's a good thing but it really is sad when I realise the only way in which I could feasibly be your bf is with voice, and even then I'd just sound like a gay guy. Oh well, aap fantasies will never be realities.
>>6291399
Arm wrestle? o.o
>>6291392
I FEEL LIKE IT IS A THING THOUGH, like i just stopped being a human at some point and stopped feeling certain things and that made shit easier.
i'm supposed to be strong and all invincible and charging on and everyone in my life expects that from me and i'm just...... failing.
and i don't even really have anyone to turn to about stuff irl because i've pushed everyone away on purpose.
like i have friends? but i don't even really consider us friends because they're just like...normal people? and they wouldn't understand any of this.
idk, sorry i'm just word vomiting all over the place
>>6291347
Yeah, you're right.
I know I shouldn't obsess over things like this, but sometimes it's hard not to.
But on the bright side, my height is a lot more in my legs than in my torso, so it could be worse.
Also
>tfw always thought that I'd never be caught dead in heels
>but the other day I started feeling morbidly curious about trying them when I realized that a 5" pair would put me just short of 210 cm.
>>6291412
I don't think that's your though, anon
>>6291422
i will post unsee if youll trade butt for butt
>you first though~
>>6291409
Get friends
&
Go camping?
Clear your mind :)
Tbqfh, make that push to portland.
Gtfo of your lumpy rut.
And, maybe in time the universe will be kind.
I can't really give the best advice for things like this b/c quite honestly my transition/life/job is crumbling and I'm using heavy doses of ssri's .. Quadruple what's prescribed to avoid psych wards in the area as they'd take my skittles away & more than likely try to get me to admit being trans is a choice, (yay crazy Christian imbeded public services)
Tbh, moving and starting a new can be the game changer
>>6291416
Wrestle wrestle.
In the dirt
It may end in a soft neck kissing fight....
But whomever ends up with their head on the other's chest loses!
I am a straight male who just hooked up with a trans for the first time... how do you guys handle the whole being fucked in the ass thing normally? As much as I enjoyed the whole experience my ass hurts and feels all weird.
I want to blow a raspberry on Elanna's vajingo.
>>6291419
I know that all too well. We can't be perfect. And trying to be is draining. Depression can affect anyone, no reason to feel guilty about it. And even when our coping mechanisms begin to feel thoroughly phoney, it's important to remember they're keeping us alive and somewhat functional. I had "everything going for me". It didn't stop me from burning out and letting myself die. If you need a non-judgemental ear, feel free to drop me a line on Skype...
>>6291432
turn your dick into a vajayjay and take it there instead
>>6291433
i want to put my penis in it desu
>>6291428
Yo anon, camping is crazy spooky though, get abducted by mythical creatures and skin walkers and shit
>>6291432
>a trans
you sonovabich
>>6291439
are you kidding? that sounds fun as shit
>>6291419
>friends
This is going to sound weird AF....
But, if you ever need that dose of someone who 'gets it' that isnt in it to dry your tears and tell you nothing is wrong.. You know... Like working through shit.
I'm around
Hell, i'd even take phonecalls full of tears and incoherent blathering... But, I totally understand it all.
...from one sociopath to another... Screaming sads at someone who completely understands sometimes helps
>>6291432
>straight male
>fucked in the ass
you give all of us chasers a bad name when you pull shit like this
Post trips you want to kiss RIGHT NOW
>>6291447
Not me
Maybe ellana b/c she gave me ATTN today
Idfk
>>6291445
huh? what are you going on about? tf is a chaser.
>>6291438
that's agp
i just want to make her laugh
>>6291447
SWG still counts, right?
>>6291431
It's on! I've trained for this moment, I've been lifting in anticipation. It's on, it won't be an easy fight. You may win if you pull out the neck kisses though..
>>6291421
Yeah, leg height is definitely better to have than torso height. Long legs are generally considered an attractive feature even when they make you quite tall. There's a reason even taller girls wear heels, despite it making them tower over most guys.
Have you actually worn heels before?
>>6291433
>>6291438
L-lewd .////.
>>6291409
>>6291419
No one is like that, Edie. You certainly aren't, and no matter how many joys or successes you have in life, they're not a part of an equation. Your pains and defeats do not stop existing, mattering, or affecting you just because there are as many or more pleasures or victories.
You're allowed to hurt - you have to if you're going to get strong rather than hard.
I don't know your friends, or your mother, or Faye nearly as well as I wish I did to say this, but if you give them a chance to support you, they will do their best for you. And that might be what you need to confront these things instead of just ignoring them.
I wish I were in a position to talk with you, too. To come over and hug you and share in that cry.
Please, reach out to someone. You aren't alone - don't try to be.
>>6291403
y-you wanna cuddle sometime?...
>tfw you know dysphoria will probably make this end badly, but you're lonely and want to be close to someone
>>6291397
I can't say I know this feel, but it feels bad nonetheless because I'm far away from you ;~;
>>6291409
This is absolutely depression. And to be honest, I like seeing this side of people. I'd rather watch people help another person heal than see someone fight back the pain until they break.
I'm no psych, but I think the fact that you're trying to wall off your depression is exactly why you feel like you're pre-transition. You're basically repressing the depression.
This is the depression talking. You sound really really normal right now, much more human than the version of yourself that you put out to pretend to be a strong role model. Stop putting so much pressure on yourself. If you can't have mental breakdowns, people are going to think that they need to hide their pain, which, in my experience, only leads to a buildup of pain that shoots out in massive bursts over a long period of time.
At this point, all I can say is that something needs to change, or you're likely only going to feel worse. I ended up dropping a class that was consuming 50% of my waking hours and started focusing on getting my mental health together. It took me 2 months, but I finally feel stable enough to transition. I'm not happy, but it's a step towards what I want. I'm also on antidepressants, which are just taking the edge off of everything. It might make it easier for you to get by.
>>6291441
>that sounds fun as shit
SKINWALKER DETECTED
>>6291447
Someone who would kiss me back so atm none maybe in the future
>>6291416
hmm mb i should be the bf then elanna ^^
>>6291457
Neck kisses usually turn into gentle neck nibbles and pinned wrists & maybe a hand caressing your throat or the small of your back.
Let's fucking do this.
>>6291456
who??
>>6291466
I think with that we'd have the same problem: I literally cannot imagine you as a boy. We can't sate each other's boylust. What kind of cruel world is this.
>>6291467
...but I'm already disarmed...
>>6291428
idk, i mean you're probably right that moving would help some. it just feels so fruitless cause i've always just moved from one place to another my whole life. i literally never grew up anywhere specifically cause i moved at least every 2 years to a diff state or town or whatever. but i guess i don't really have anything where i am now. idk. i'm sorry about the max dosing ssri thing. why is everything crumbling for you?? your life has always seemed pretty good from what i've read, but it's just been more of self-image/dysphoria stuff than anything? OBVIOUSLY IDK CAUSE I DON'T LIVE YOUR LIFE but that's why i ask
>>6291435
>>6291443
talking about it here has helped honestly, so i appreciate you responding to me and stuff. i feel a little less psychotic now. tho idk how long it'll last lol. so ty.
>>6291458
i just don't want to burden anyone ;___; i'm supposed to be her partner and stuff and i'm supposed to be just as strong if not stronger than she is and idk. maybe i'll talk to my mom in the morning when she wakes up? this whole thing just sucks. fucking progesterone lmao idek what i want to do at this point.
>>6291459
reading this made me cry again lmao take that however you wish. maybe i do need to go on antidepressants. i just never took them because my mom took them my whole life and when they didn't work for her she would feel even worse. i've been declining taking medication for it for literally 13-14 years now. i just don't want to upset people or disappoint anyone or anything, but i honestly feel like ... like when i woke up i felt like i had disappointed myself, in a lot of ways, and i haven't felt like that in a really long time. and it's horrible.
>>6291475
elanna why dont you just fool around with a guy fwb even if like internet
get a dom manlet like plat did, or borrow hers
>>6291459
y-yes I would like that I think
>>6291475
OK then we just have to hunt for bfs for each other ITS SETTLED
>>6291447
hmmmmmmmmmm
>>6291459
;-; bad feel honestly
>>6291457
Yeah, for the longest time I was like
>Long legs are overrated! I just wanna be petite. ;~;
but I've been starting to feel like they're a feature that I could (and should) learn to love.
>Have you actually worn heels before?
no, not yet
>>6291481
pls post butt
for a ronery manlet
>>6291481
r u an ozstralian?
>that one trip you started falling for after talking to her
What's her name, /mtfg/?
>>6291480
I've tasted the forbidden fruit of real life sex and relationships. I can't have an online relationship or fwb now and be satisfied.
Might just have to bite the bullet and go to pof or okc, my ex wont have sex with me anymore cuz f e e l s.
>>6291484
This sounds like a good plan, how 2 get bf?
>>6291507
beep
grace
>>6291507
she's not a trip
>>6291509
it's still fun to pretend
>>6291507
I can't say because of reasons
>>6291521
It's a tease, I like fantasising and pretending but I honestly end up just craving the feeling of a guy pounding me.
>>6291518
So much stressss. Now or never though I guess, I'm probably confident enough to date randoms now.
>>6291494
i am
>>6291509
idk ,_,
>>6291507
lots of girls ive talked to from here are like, so lovely and cool i just really fall for their personalities if that makes sense.
>tfw cricket gf
>>6291479
I have never been disappointed by a loved on confiding in me. I have never thought less of them. I have admired their courage to be able to trust someone as weak and uncertain as me. It's made me strive to become a person worthy of that trust, and to be able to give it back, in turn.
It's scary, but if you can do it, I don't think you'll find your loved ones are more awful than me. I know you'll feel better when you talk with your mother.
Wish you love, health, and rest.
>>6291475
actually
can you imagine me as a boy at all?
I'm curious.
>>6291479
>This is my philosophy btw, so take it as you will
I feel like people need to make sure that they're satisfying themselves before they satisfy others. Otherwise, they end up becoming somebody else's toy.
I stopped taking antidepressants a couple weeks ago because I was afraid of getting addicted to them, but after crying all weekend and lashing out at really good friends who eventually helped me get through my meltdown, I decided it was best to just bite the bullet and take the pills. I'm less euphoric now when I'm happy, but I'm also less depressed when I'm upset, so I'd say it's a worthwhile tradeoff.
I don't know how your transition went, but I made the decision to transition with no real support at home. I don't expect any, and I would prefer to believe that people are going to hurt me before believing they'll help me. I'm done being their doll. I'm sick of it. I'm not perfect, I don't know what I'm doing, and I'm just going to start doing what I need to do to be happy. The first thing is seeing myself how I want to be seen. I don't know where I'll go from there, but hey, fuck it. It's my life, and I'm going to make what I want of it. I have enough empathy to know that putting people in pain is wrong, and at this point, enough self-respect to know that putting myself in pain for the sake of others is the wrong choice. I believe I can make good decisions, and if I can't, I'm going to learn from the bad decisions I make until I can.
I refuse to give up. I'm not going to let anyone else take full control of my life ever again.
And I can say that it is possible to be happy. The first time I remember feeling genuinely happy for a long period of time was when I made friends on this board. I wasn't alone. I could talk to people that understood me. I could cry, and not feel bad about it. I could complain about dysphoria all day and not feel like I was bothering anyone.
Happiness exists.
>tfw dirty fetishist but still occasionally dysphoric
bluh. 'm gonna clean the rest of my apartment and try to do some productive stuff for a bit. i'm going to go get food and talk with my ex tomorrow for a while which should be good. he's basically the only person who understands me and he's been really great through everything involving me getting with faye and moving and all that stuff, so. hopefully that will help. ty everyone for letting me talk about everything.
here, i leave you with a song i'm currently listening to that describes my mood etc i hope u like it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w_aCvGUI-Hc
>>6291531
goddammit, i love you so much
i hate not being in canada or id help with that
>>6291540
I live near Syracuse, NY idk where you are
>>6291545
I'm near Philadelphia...
>tfw almost a reasonable driving distance
>>6291534
the sport or the bug?
>>6291542
Get good sleep, Edie. You'll feel better soon, and better still if you can find someone to listen well.
>>6291548
the trip
>>6291547
Not that far at all! I've been to Philly a few times,
I'd really like to go back, especially to the Terminal Market
>>6291475
...so much for your man card.
gt or not, you'd totally be my little nuzzly spoon <3
>>6291479
Find permanence, maybe LTR it up, have a reason to stick around?
GET ACCIDENTALLY PREGGERS.
I'm serious tho, if youre ever coming unraveled to an extreme, hmu.
Life is crumbling b/c HR antitrans shit at work (looking at lawyers now) my job interview with Chevron in SF turned bust... Didnt get it. My insurance wont cover therapy here. Ive no friends.. So I can't even talk to my paid stranger.
And my bf, now gf, is so fucking emotionally needy I'm constantly drained and in a (mostly) sexless relationship.
That and bdd/dysphoria is hitting all time highs. I feel like I look disgusting &, my face weirds people out
I've wanted to just die for months but quad-dosing antidepressants makes it so I can not care enough to be complacent without a rifle in my mouth
Idk... I just want to sell everything, grow herb, and start over
>>6291552
well go make her your gf then
>>6291557
read the first post senpai
>>6291559
Well then we're just gonna have to go on an adventure then! The Terminal Market has some of the best food I've ever had and I've been dying to go back since I was in a Magic Tournament that was right across the street
how are u mtfg
who else /extremely stressed/
>>6291559
I'm in CT. I've done CT to Myrtle Beach in 11 hours with traffic and massively bad storms but idk if I could do philly in 2. A friend of mine wants me to come down to philly june 10th. Might go. btw I am a random anon who has no idea what any of you look like just fyi.
>>6291507
Took some time, but I guess I'm deeply in love with Syndie now. Not sure that's what she wanted but it's how it turned out. And I feel pretty good about it.
>>6291566
I'm quite relaxed now. It's a pity it can't last and that I HV have to leave Bangkok at the end of the week, but, well...
>>6291507
>tfw they always fall for you
>tfw you push them away because you know you're not good enough for anyone
>tfw lonely anyway
>>6291571
I think I might rather do one of those 1 dollar bolt bus things or a train :( jersey pike is so scary.
How to deal with being an ugly "girl"?
>tfw gay
>tfw like the smell of straigh man poo
>>6291571
>/living at home and parents are assholes/
haha same tbhonest, but hopefully in the near future I'll have an apartment I'd be sharing with a friend
Hearthstone tourneys sound tempting, but I normally travel to tourneys because I go with like 3 other people and its cheap for gas/hotel
Any of you mtf's still like to brawl and talk shit?
or do the hormones make you soft?
>>6291578
live as an average looking guy.
>>6291583
yes they are the worst, and NJ drivers do not make it any easier. im not the person you meant for it but I added you on skype :P
>>6291588
Can I kill myself instead of that?
>>6291587
Ayyyy.
I take it youre cis tho..
I don't like cis boys... Too easy to emasculate
i wish my gf was as skinny as i am
my bmi is 18
>>6291593
Why not ;_;
>>6291594
ill take her if ou dont want
my bmi 18 also
>>6291597
because i need you alive
>>6291600
For what purpose?
>>6291576
Trip on Kit
>>6291592
I have this friend we used to always just do stuff together and got real wild. fights and generally being punks but I think he's taking e, his skins different he's talking different so are his mannerisms. I just think he's doing this whole thing and maybe i'm losing him. imagine cutting off your right arm, its like that
You lot will probably know what it is
>>6291604
I'm not the anon that told you to live as an average looking guy but there's a purpose for you
>>6291610
And what purpose may that be?
Whatcha listening to /mtfg/?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W7muCRio2nQ
>>6291606
Your friends the same person bro...
Just female.
Weaker, meeker, cuddlier.
I still enjoy working on trucks and slamming beer.
But fighting and being a rowdy boy.. Nah
>>6291606
what the fuck kinda assumption is that?
"Oh my buddy's been acting different... he's stopped being a retarded idiot who fought people for no reason all the time. What possibly could be the cause of such a radical change in behavior? oh i know! he's probably the 0.001% of the population that's a tranny, yeah, that seems logical to me"
>>6291619
Its actually .07%
>>6291616
i can't believe i forgot how much i love this game series
https://youtu.be/Y3R8tkvlAlk
ded
>tfw unrequited love
Fuck living.
>>6291658
Wanna talk about it champ?
>>6291658
Im not a chaser but you're the only exception if I were into transgirls.
You're so beautiful and cute...
>>6291616
Drawing and letting youtube pick random music for me
https://youtu.be/3Iuvj4BnGH4
>>6291665
Is that one of your drawings?
>>6291660
Kind of, but now idk if I feel like typing it all out.
>>6291664
That makes me feel nice. Thank you.
>tfw fucking oblong face shape
>tfw it's going to be literally years before I can get FFS
>tfw inplacable anguish over the fact I look like an ugly faggot because I'm a debilitatingly vain piece of shit
>tfw in the meantime I've got to somehow live as an adult and earn enough money to live AND save up instead of spending 75% of the day crying in bed and/or too stoned to move
I don't understand. HOW DO YOU DO IT???
>>6291669
eat poo
who /virgin/ here?
have you made a boy cum mtfg? when was the lst time? and if not, why?
>>6291666
the one i'm currently working on yeah, practicing animoos
>>6291675
not more than me....
>>6291676
Looks pretty decent senpai
>>6291674
The first time I made a boy cum was when I was 22. He was a brief boyfriend that confessed he was in love with me immediately after I broke up with him.
I'm pretty much completely out of weed too
and I won't have enough money for more for a few weeks
fucks sake
I don't know how I'll hold on long enough for FFS, this is fucking torture
>>6291674
a week or so ago
Do my eyebrows are getting too thick? After that bleach fiasco I'm afraid to touch them.
>>6291674
honestly i'm not sure, i think they've always just jacked off onto my tits or some shit like that, because by the time i actually get to doing lewd with a boy i've come to my senses again and remember that i hate boys and they're grose
unless having someone cum in you counts, but tbdesu i can't even remember if that happened because condoms make it hard to tell and i wasn't paying enough attention to know if the guy finished, i was tired and in an awkward position holding myself up and just waiting for him to decide he was done
>>6291677
sorry i was lying :(
>>6291682
how the fuck did you manage to get someone off
>>6291684
you sound hot tbdesu
how u fug so many boys?
and the worst part is I'm so fucking hyper-rational I can't even just imagine my perfect life when I'm in bed at night and cope with it like that because my brain knows it isn't real. I can't even lose myself in fantasy. If I could even dream about it some nights that'd be something but there's no fucking escape.
>>6291687
no clue i'm not really very attractive
>>6291689
parties? how many boys have you had sex with
i bet u r desu post pic sista
>>6291674
First time was just 15 hours ago, ERPing with my manlet bf. He said he was sweating and made a mess of himself irl :^)
can't wait to do it to someone in real life
>>6291695
post your platypussy
>>6291671
Are you working on fixing that?
>>6291697
this good?
>>6291691
i've never gotten laid at parties except when i was there with a girlfriend and idk like a couple
plus one that doesn't really count cause it was in a threesome with this girl who came to spend time with me on my birthday and her ex happened to be in the city we went to and wanted to meet up and stuff ended up happening and it was really awkward lol and he overstayed his welcome but eventually left and then it was pure yuri time
the sad thing is i can be cute but it's mostly because of my body, the only selfies of myself i've ever liked have been lewd ones
>tfw green bath
>>6291702
holy smokes that's a lot of self harming
>>6291507
Does it count if she stopped tripping and just occasionally posts anon these days, or does it need to be a current trip?
>>6291700
that is a damn cute platypussy
>>6291708
lol
>>6291566
What is stressing you?
>>6291720
Ouch :(
https://youtu.be/dOvGpzq25Og
>>6291507
red
kit
edie
and I barely even talk to them
>>6291566
extremely stressed?
heck yeah I'm stressed, for some reason I never really thought about my future as a trans person and a few hours ago it just hit me all at once and now I feel like I wanna die just to avoid the possibility of a bad outcome
other than that I'm fantastic
>>6291720
>>6291702
I never understood this, I just cry thrice a day
>>6291721
i have a ton of tax paper stuff to do in the next few days so i can have a job so i can pay for self medding
it also coincides with my exam week :/
>>6291507
Cant say... B/c I've already stirred enough drama ;D
Pretty sure we'd click irl hard as well...
Alas. Que sera sera
>>6291726
>I never understood this
that's probably for the best
>>6291679
Thanks anonpai
>>6291701
So basically what you're saying is you have to post a lewd selfie?
>>6291725
i'm such a bad influence
>>6291738
anon...
>>6291724
that was before green bath
Morning, you sack of dicks :D
>>6291671
me
>>6291674
no
boys don't like me ._.
>>6291743
oh okay
still idgi though, what does cutting do that throwing yourself against the walls/floor/stairs (i.e. me) doesn't? without leaving permanent marks people get awkward over?
>>6291720
i used to burn myself w/ cigarettes
>>6291735
explain it to me
if I know why people do it then maybe I can stop my friend from doing it
>>6291757
you can't stop your friend
>>6291757
to feel.
i felt so alive while i was burning myself.
it started to feel good.
but now i have nasty scars.
good thing i can cover them up
Hey /lgbt/, help a guy out. I've got a date with this transgirl coming up, and I don't know how to not make an ass of myself. Only plan in my mind is to be smooth and charming af and treat her like any other girl. Just don't know if there are specifics to avoid.
Me
> 6'0", white, masculine, straight*, clean cut with good sense of humor. never been with a transgirl, but made out with one once. *Had some very limited sexual contact with guys.
>>6291765
> treat her like any other girl
you will do fine
>>6291751
ur a faggot
>>6291760
hi
>>6291765
You're on the right track. Just be yourself and don't ask weird questions.
>>6291765
Tell you never would have guessed she's not a real girl.
Is this a thread about boys becoming girls or girls becoming boys
>>6291751
it's all about morbidity.
generally, i you're gonna abuse yourself, you're gonna go full macabre.
i'm talking about blood, fire, bulimia, asphyxiation, maybe a pinch of poison.
it really clears the head, gives a rush, & really kills those troubling thoughts.
>i gave myself these scars a couple of years ago
>>6291776
The number 1 thing you SHOULD do is ask what she's comfortable with before you touch or say anything to do with her dick, it's an instant dealbreaker for plenty of us
>>6291775
>arms and filled with scars
>avoid going to anywhere unless I can use sleeves
good thing I dont like going anywhere
>>6291765
Haha saw this gem on the train, that isn't me flannel; I have a bad sense of humour.
>>6291769
I was not expecting you to be here and now I'm uncontrollably spilling spaghetti
>>6291791
??????
>>6291797
Haha saw this gem on the train, that isn't me flannel; I have a bad sense of humour.
>>6291802
okay at least one of us has finally gone off the deep end
>>6291802
I think the point is what it has to do with the comment you responded to. Or anything for that matter.
MORNING EVERYONE!
I completely exhausted.
>>6291806
>I completely exhausted.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_mDTLphIVY
I think that only serves to illustrate just how tired I am.
>>6291802
??????
well it happened
I accidentally posted with my trip on another board
nobody's noticed yet
>>6291816
What board and/or what kinda post? Anything deliciously embarrassing?
I got work in a bit, working in the daytime is /not/ ok, or on a bank fuckin holiday, I need a fuckin desk job, that way i'd get time off when my actual friends have time off.
the upside is i look cute af today. that last laser session i had 6 days ago just wiped out almost everything i had left in one session my shitty old place couldn't clear in 8 sessions. don't need that red/orange base before foundation anymore. score
>>6291819
just a random shitpost on /int/
>>6291820
>tfw 3 sessions in and barely any difference
and the worst part is HRT is turning it all fucking white apart from my upper lip, REEEEEEEEEE
I love my girlfriend
>>6291823
enjoy electrolysis
>>6291824
I wish I had somone.
>>6291816
lmao this happens to me a lot. i post with my trip on /m/ or something by mistake. really annoying + embarrassing
>>6291796
you dont talk to me much.... you should, i'm p nice desu !
>>6291820
you are always cute af !! also give my best to your gf for me :3
>>6291828
>tfw no bf
