>20 years old
>transitioned FTM
>never had a girlfriend or boyfriend
>still don't know masculine social etiquette so it's not looking good
>too fucked up abt my body for a relationship anyway
guess i'll just throw myself into my studies, then job, then die alone.
Do other trans guys feel like this? does anyone have advice?
>>6083934
Jesus Christ, are you me?
>>6083934
>never had a girlfriend or boyfriend
>still don't know [appropriate gender's] social etiquette so it's not looking good
>too fucked up abt my body for a relationship anyway
>guess i'll just throw myself into my studies, then job, then die alone.
I didn't think there were FtMs that feel the way we MtFs do.
repressed tranny aka straight guy here
what do you niggas wanna know about male etiquette
>>6083934
I feel so bad for ftms that didn't pass as kids
if you pass, and your friends are guys, they'll probably tell you if your acting stupid. There's no other way than to just live as a man, people will treat you accordingly
>>6084018 >>6084025 >>6084039
good to know i'm not the only one. fuck!!! you spend so much time thinking that transitioning will make it easier, and it does, but it comes with all of these other obstacles that are impossible to anticipate.
i'm usually really optimistic, but sometimes i feel like i should be over at /r9k/.
>>6084047
yeah, i've been transitioned for about 3 years now so i've picked up a lot of stuff, but it always feels like there this huge distance between me and other men. which, to be fair, there's nearly 18 years of distance.
have any of your travelled/ lived abroad? did that help?
>>6084057
>but sometimes i feel like i should be over at /r9k/
Damn man, you really are me.
tfw no gf (or bf) is a shitty feel and being trans makes it even worse because it's like
>no gay/bi guy bottom is gonna want dickless man
>no straight girl is gonna dickless man
>lesbian friends show interest in me but I know it's only because they see me as a megabutch and not a man
I haven't had a real life relationship since I was still in denial-mode four years ago and I haven't had an online relationship in three years
shit sucks
>>6084057
Dwelling on shit only makes it worse. You do you, and do it to the best of your abilities. Become a respectable person, and respect yourself, no matter your gender bs. That's just a single part of your life, not the whole thing. You're much more than just your gender. Become a good person who you would respect, then put yourself out there. I'm just a cis lesbian, but I've had similar issues. This route, I find, is much more rewarding than being in a negative stasis.
>>6084098
>I'm just a cis lesbian
>cis
thanks anyway, i know you're trying to help and i appreciate it.
>>6084088
yes exactly! I see guys posting about how they're so forever alone because they have small dicks, but they have no idea what it's like for trans guys.
i especially get the lesbian thing.
wishing you the best. hopefully we'll figure it out, or at least learn to be satisfied without those relationships. or we'll have very time consuming jobs so we won't have to think about it...
>>6084144
>time consuming jobs
What are you aiming for? I'm getting into law myself
>>6084166
I'm not sure yet. Right now I'm studying business writing and Chinese. I'm planning to teach English abroad for awhile (hence asking if traveling has helped), and then who knows. Maybe linguistics, maybe business, maybe academia.
Law seems like a good one. What kind of law? Are you planning to do anything trans-related?
>>6084177
Yeah actually, I'm hoping to get into LGBT related law stuff.
Currently I'm in community college right now and in paralegal studies but I plan on trying to get into a university later on
>>6084200
hey! i went to community college first too! had to spend my college fund on transitioning hahaha.
good luck with everything! i hope it all works out for you
>>6084057
I'm this poster by the way
>>6084025
But I'm actually not a FtM, I'm just a femboy who knows being a man sucks, and I can only imagine how shitty it must be to not have a dick on top of the already present difficulties on the relationship front and in other areas.
Going femboy at least made it a lot easier for me to find someone. I'm sorry you've got your difficultues but much of what you guys are describing, no-penis-stuff aside, is stuff almost all guys have to deal with these days.
>>6084259
My mom insisted on pushing me through community college because nobody else in my family has completed high school let alone college and she didn't want the same to happen with me.
But good luck with your plans as well!
>>6084043
Have you considered taking the hormones and at least going femboy status, if you wind up not passing?
>>6083934
>>still don't know masculine social etiquette so it's not looking good
I'm a gender dysphoric MAAB. I know how to be dudebro and would be happy to teach you anon.
>>6083934
queer girl here. i like it and find it cute
>>6084288
I don't know. I will probably end up like OP, too fucked up to function.
>>6084098
>gender bs
>just a cis lesbian
>had similar issues
DIE ROASTIE CIS SCUM REEEEEEEEE
>>6084321
if it's any kind of reassure: i'm way happier now and would absolutely choose to transition again if given the chance. sometimes you feel shitty and lonely and generally "less than" but my overall quality of life is astronomically improved, my future is more or less bright. i would've definitely killed myself had i not started HRT when i did.
>>6084025
Yeah I LOL when people transition because of "male privilege" (which I believe is becoming more of a trend). You mean male "way more stress and less sympathy for anything that happens to you in life".
Throw in also still having periods, holy sheeeet.
>>6084323
i fucking hate when cis gay people act like they "get" it. gay people have been worse to me than straight people, all because they think they have a pass
>>6084039
Even cisgender gay people have a hard time with the "dating scene", because WE didn't grow up knowing the way to "court"/flirt with our own sex, since it was so taboo. which is why the gay "dating" scene is so often the gay "fucking" scene.
Just hang out with guy friends--are you attracted to Hes or Shes? If Shes, you would actually have an advantage since you understand what women want in a relationship to at least some degree (more than a cis man does).
>>6084348
Thanks. I'm in the middle of the pre-transition depressive state so hearing about positive experiences helps. I don't wanna derail the thread, though. But I'm really afraid of being a hon who's too male-socialized to ever pass. really, really afraid.
>>6084355
>still having periods
the
fucking
worst
>>6084177
Linguistics major here--unless you have it in you for a PhD, prepare to never use that "useless" degree nobody has ever heard of. Throw in trans, and your job prospects to even lick out dumpsters will be bottom of the barrel.
Find out what China thinks of transguys before going over there.
>>6084359
And how are we ever supposed to "get" it if you won't answer questions or be patient? And sorry, but we are 1000x closer to your experience than any straight person can ever be--many trans* are straight after they transition after all (having been gay before).
But go on pushing aside your closest allies and flipping out if we forget to ask your pronouns.
>>6084362
stop trying to act like being gay means you can relate to me. just because we begrudgingly share an acronym doesn't mean that we share the same problems. have you ever had to worry about finding someone you really like, falling in love with each other, and then being rejected (or raped or fucking killed) when they finally see you naked? or maybe they don't reject you and you finallycna start a physical relationship but you're so fucked up about your body that when they touch you you freak out.
you cna't say that it was so hard for you because you didn't grow up knowing how to "court" someone of the same gender and then say that my being trans makes it easier for trans guys to have relationships with women. you literally contradicted yourself within two sentences.
>>6084363
we're complaining a lot about the less spoken of negatives, but there are a lot of good things. just remember that, even though it sucks at times, we wouldn't have done it if it wasn't worth it.
>>6084378
i think you are having problems with some other trans person in your life right now because i didn't flip out about prnouns at all and you never asked anything. instead, you came into a thread meant for trans people to talk about trans-specific problems and started giving out unhelpful, unsolicited sage advice.
the gay community may be a close ally to the trans community, but I don't owe You anything.
so go fuck yourself.
>>6084362
>Just hang out with guy friends--are you attracted to Hes or Shes? If Shes, you would actually have an advantage since you understand what women want in a relationship to at least some degree (more than a cis man does).
cis straight girls want dicks tho
lol shitlord here
>lurking
>>6084392
we'll see
I don't get what you trannies are so butt blasted about. You have chasers and other trans people. Plenty of Transbians date each other. Don't see why not ftms can't do the same thing and date other dickless dudes.
>>6084544
most people don't want to date fetishists. 99.9% of chasers are creeps who just want to fuck and have no concept of what being transgender actually means. a lot of transgender people are fucked up about their bodies and struggle to develop sex lives, so a relationship with a chaser would be impossible in that sort of situation. transgender fetishists aren't as common as you seem to think, especially not chasers interested in ftms.
A lot of ftms do date each other but not all ftms are gay.
The primary issue for trans people trying to date isn't availability of potential partners (though this is a maaaassive issue). Internal issues related to being transgender can be way bigger obstacles.
>>6084362
I'm the person you responded to, and I'm MtF, not FtM. I like guys more than I like girls.
>>6084544
Most ftm chasers are straight guys who want to "feminize" us and shitpost in our generals all the fucking time
that being said I'm not opposed to chasers if they're not the irritating straight guys who think us getting dicked is just what we need to turn into submissive qt tomboy grills
I'm also not opposed to dating another trans guy. Or a trans girl. I admit, I'm a bit of an mtf chaser myself desu
>>6084629
Do you want to get girldicked in your manpussy and/or boipucci?
>>6084634
I'd rather (packer)dick someone's hole of choice but I'm a vers degenerate and don't mind getting dicked in the bp now and again
>>6084636
Just wondering how mtf/ftm sex worked
>>6084566
>but not all ftms are gay.
straight ftms must like girls or boys?
>>6084657
straight ftms like girls
gay ftms like boys
bi ftms like both
most ftms are bi
>>6084659
absolutely subverse
>>6083934
Somewhat I feel a bit like this.
Have had girlfriends but not many and my relationships were shitty, I can say I haven't been loved.
I also haven't much confidence, would prefer to be 1,90m tall and have a 20cm dick
>>6084366
>>6084355
>cute girlboys
>but they have periods
nigger you said transitioned.
>>6084639
The correct answer often is "not at all".
If it makes you dudes feel better I'd kill for a handsome FtM boyfriend. Dick or no, still cute af.
>>6083934
I'd say I'm in a similar place, but I'm struggling to figure out whether my aversion to relationships is based on my discomfort with myself, my past relationships being volatile, or just really not wanting one because I'm happier alone.
Studying and work is all I got, and for now that's enough. Though I'm worried I'll wake up at 40 and realize I have no one in my life to really lean on because I threw 20 years away to work on myself in isolation, without working on building better personal connections.
>>6087819
Thanks, anon. Made my day :)
>>6083934
ex repressed mtf here, let me give you some tips on how to "man up"
lift, talk shit with other dudes, be arrogant and boisterous.
work on carrying yourself like a man, men walk like they are simultaneously at ease despite being worried about fucking everything and having their ballsack stuck to their thigh
thats about it really, the rest is cologne and wardrobe
>>6091165
This is actually pretty helpful, but arrogance doesn't fit me well - can I supplement this with self deprecation instead?
>>6091191
No. That's not very masculine.
Just try being stoic. And moreover try and see some positives in what you have.
>>6091356
Think I got the stoicism down, shame about the self deprecation though, the majority of my humor revolves around my failures. Guess I'll have to sort that out.
>>6091383
If you mean in terms of jokes you can probably get away with it, just don't overkill it. Do you pass?
>>6091420
I'd say I pass 60-70% of the time, I'm still pretty early on into transition though. Think with a year and more time at the gym, I'll be just fine.
Yeah, I try not to make people actually pity me because I'm cracking jokes about myself, that's pretty pathetic when that happens.
>>6091474
Well, it's not that you shouldn't be yourself, but it'sobviously undue attention to the fact you're not cis and might not help with your passing, if you see what I mean
>>6091479
Yeah I get that, there's certainly things I need to work on (confidence being one of them) which would probably help me blend in better.
>>6091500
I'm just saying, it's a fine line between sort of being yourself and finding some way to fit in with being masculine, you know
>>6091557
Yup, I'm still trying to find that balance without tipping the scales into over doing it.
I think growing up with older brothers, and having a really neutral upbringing probably gives me a leg up to a degree compared to some other people, but there's still definitely things I need to fix to make it easier on myself.
>>6083934
>transitioned FTM
Of course you're going to die alone.
>>6091165
thanks
i think i've got most of that down actually and it's just insecurities eating at me
