>>5945184
And map:
https://www.zeemaps.com/map?group=1764048

I'm sorry guys. Someone else made the new thread last time and I was hoping I had managed to pass off thread creation but I guess not

>>5945189
>Wright Away Refuse Inc
My sides.

>>5945363
What are you talking about?

Is it wrong to call an asexual black person an ace of spades?

>>5947662

No, that's just awesome.

this is your reminder that asexual people are not lgbt unless they are same gender attracted in some way (homoromantic, biromantic, panromantic). if you're heteroromantic or aromantic asexual you are not lgbt

>>5947979
K whatever you say man :^)

>>5945189
>I'm sorry guys. Someone else made the new thread last time and I was hoping I had managed to pass off thread creation but I guess not
Sorry, that was me! I went on hiatus during con season and only noticed yesterday that there was no thread. I didn't have the copy pasta. I'll save it in my files now.
I love the OP image.

Am I the only one who just doesn't give a fuck about asexuals?

>>5950489
I found these, wanting to continue on from what you posted for last thread. I have 4 more.

>>5950556
Are the a part of the same set? I notice this one says #1

>>5950618
Yeah that's what I meant

>>5950514
You clicked on the thread and posted

>>5950625
Cool! I found a couple more too so we can have a race after this thread is up.

>>5947979
I am glad you have undertaken the personal responsibility of being the ultimate arbiter of what is and isn't LGBT. It is a further honor that you have shared your wisdom ITT

>>5950514
Your opinion means a lot to us thanks for sharing

>have sexual fantasies in 2d (mostly gay or excluding me but sometimes straight)
>read a lot of hentai but never really watched much regular porn (not that i haven't tried but it doesn't arouse me)
>masturbate regularly
>not sure if i was ever attracted to anyone irl but if i was it wasn't much
>actual sex is unsuccessful
>no change with nofap/no porn/no animays
>26
>kinda socially isolated all of my life but not that bad (have lots of acquaintances and stuff)

Does it sound like something permanent or just haven't met the right person kinda thing

You're all liars.

>>5960221
No.

>>5960221
It's true I always lie about how I love my professors.

>be asexual
>try to mention it to my sibling
>"oh, I think you'll grow out of it"
>step around boyfriend/girlfriend questions from family and relatives
>every relationship I have tried is based on sexual interest so it fails immediately
>don't even try to get into relationships anymore
>wear frumpy clothing to make sure no one is interested in me
>reject everyone who seems interested because it'll end like the others
>mention I'm ace to a friend
>is completely cool about it

Is it bad that I felt happy for once? I actually wanted to wear something that wasn't frumpy because I started to feel comfortable with my myself.

>>5960878
That's great, anon. I'm glad someone was accepting about you coming out!

Goddamnit, I have this stupid cycle of being ace for 2-5 months and then have a couple of weeks where I feel slightly sexual for once.

And I talk people up on the internet.

Why do I do this to myself. I know this won't last.

I just wish I was a normal sexual. I wish I could like this and want this all the time. I wish I could have a normal happy relationship without compromise after compromise.

>I'm doomed

>>5961898
>I wish I could have a normal happy relationship without compromise after compromise

Damn, that hits me right in the heart.

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>can you still be ace if you have sexual attraction sometimes, yet fail to find genitals arousing? My endocrine system feels activated around certain people, but my brain can't make that leap to wanting sex/finding penetration exciting.

>>5962033
There's the big vague umbrella of grey-A. You'll fit in there.

>>5961904
Someday, anon. Someday we'll find someone.

>>5961849
I've heard from other members of the lgbt community, we're not allowed to use the term "coming out" because we basically don't deal with the same problems as they do.

Is this true?

>>5963406
Allosexuals can suck an egg.

Ace people don't face the exact same set of struggles as non-het allos, but that doesn't mean we don't have our own issues (many of which come directly from them). It also ignores non-het aces, who, when seen by the public as non-het (since no one walking down the street is going to tell if you're sleeping with someone or not), deal with the same persecution as non-het allo folks.

>>5963406
For whatever it's worth, as a gay guy that's curious about the asexual general, I'd say that's not true.
The term "coming out" applies to asexuals, because even from what little I understand about asexuals it's clear you experience hetero normative pressures.
When a parent demands to know why you're not making them into a grand parent, and you tell them you're asexual, that is coming out.

>because we basically don't deal with the same problems as they do.
What a stupid standard that you could extend to any LGBT person in first world countries. The average gay man in the UK doesn't experience the same problems as a gay man in Iran, therefore gay men in the UK do not come out as gay.

~

Out of morbid curiosity which letter did that language police officer identify as?

>>5963443
>Allosexuals can suck an egg.
Are all asexual expletives this adorable?

>>5965482
>Are all asexual expletives this adorable?
No.

My favorite, by the way, is "fuckers".

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>>5965482
It's more of an oppression olympics to be quite honest. I mostly just stay in my little ace corner of sites and try not to bother anyone so I don't get other people yelling at me.

>Out of morbid curiosity which letter did that language police officer identify as?
Last one was gay man. Everyone is really agitated about NUS telling people to kick gay men reps and then went ahead to create asexual reps, so we're getting a lot of their anger and frustration over a group I've never heard of until now.

>Are all asexual expletives this adorable?
No, they can be as bad as the others.

>>5965495
>My favorite, by the way, is "fuckers".
This is hilarious to me

>watching a movie
>main character is wearing a really cool costume
>begin wondering the entire setup and mechanics of costume
>sex scene happens
>start internally screaming that the costume wasn't able to be shown off long enough for me to figure out some of the basic mechanics

The beginning of Spectre was torture. I could have sworn that mask had a movable jaw...

>>5957380
bump

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>>5965495
Took me a minute, heh heh.

>>5965534
The NUS shit show, bleh, of course it was related to those stereotyping homophobic NUS brats.
Lashing out at another LGBT group has to be the stupidest response gay men that are worried and upset about being disenfranchised can have. Trying to exclude someone else while arguing for your own inclusion is a great way to come off like a hypocrite.

I'll never be able to wrap my head around some gay guys myopic desire to do things like drop the T, or kick out asexuals, from the community. We're sexual orientation and gender minorities, and we're pretty much guaranteed to always be minorities. So it makes sense for us to pool our efforts when advancing common causes. But it's not as if that pooled effort means we have to abandon our own specific issues and interests. Especially when there are already groups and organizations (like Gay Straight Alliance) that focus on specific sexual orientation and gender identity groups.

Alright rant over, I'll stop bumping your general with my derpyness

>>5966590
>>5957380
Might be permanent, might not be.
But here's what you should ask yourself: why is it important to you? Why do you worry about it being permanent or not?
What does a happy life look like to you? Is that what you assume of a happy life from what people have told you? Are you disappointed in your life? What would you want to add?

Get to the root of things. For some people, they think "I want a relationship." Why? For some people, it's to be validated. Others it's to share their experiences with someone. Others want to be cared for. Others want to care for someone.
When you understand what you really want, you can apply it to what you have available to you.

>>5962033
That's perfectly normal for a large amount of people, anon. Genitals are wrinkly, moist, and make weird smells. Doesn't mean you're asexual if you dislike them.

>>5963406
Fuck them. It's just as difficult for us in a lot of ways because it can lead to people thinking there's something wrong with us. In some cases, it can lead people to think we're admitting to being an unfeeling psychopathic robot. At least when people say "I'm gay" they don't have to explain what it is on top of it.

>>5968047

then why are people all " im addicted to the d" or " i love the taste of pussy"?

>>5968057
our stuggle will always be in finding a life partner. I don't know why lgbt commonly overlooks this huge disadvantage

>>5969212
I need the answer to this as well. I'm confused now. Thought sexuals loved to get close to other people's bits. Also, pretty sure gay men find the D attractive but idk maybe not.

>>5962033
Sounds like me but I consider myself t be a heteroromantic asexual. I feel like I want to cuddle and talk and just spend time with men I find good-looking but I have no desire to have sex with them.

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Are there any other famous aces?

>>5970454
Queen Elizabeth the I maybe?

>>5969217
Because we're often too self involved to notice; real talk Asexuals' romantic relationship problems never occurred to me. I guess I just operated under the assumption that asexual coincided with aromantic.

>>5970422
We do; but that attraction depends on the bits, their condition, and often who they're attached to.
I can go into more detail, but I don't know if it would be okay to fill your general with my views.

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>>5970459
>the I

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>>5970554
the First!

duh :P

>>5970568
Nobody writes it like that. It's Queen Elizabeth or Queen Elizabeth I. Have you never written it out before?

>>5947979
>panromantic

>>5970454
Isaac Newton and Nikola Tesla are both said to have died virgins and are commonly speculated to be asexual.

>>5970573
Honestly haven't noticed it before. English isn't my first language so maybe that's why.

>>5970422
I've known quite a few gay guys who dislike the D or having sex. They're still interested in everything else, including touching and that.

It's confusing because tumblr have been trying to blur the lines on what an asexual person is in order to get more acceptance points. I've seen more than a few asexual lesbians around.

>>5961898
You do know that everybody, literally everybody, goes through periods of not wanting sex and periods of wanting sex, right? You're a normal person, get over yourself.

>>5970454
Frederic chopin!

Yo, anyone aromantic here?

>>5972203
(and at the same time not asexual)

>>5971565
Sounds like those gay guys are homoromantic asexuals but just don't realize this. Asexual = not interested in having sex. Everything else goes though. There are various differences between how far each asexual person will take their romantic relationship. Some asexuals masturbate because it feels good, some don't. But all are united in the fact that they don't want to have sex with other people.

>>5972770
There is also the thing that allosexuals have where they assume that you *have* to be into all common sexual acts, i.e. oral, PIV, and/or PIA. I have spoken to plenty of allo folks who don't enjoy penetrative sex or oral sex, but they do it anyway because it's expected of them, and they assume that if they don't, they'll never find a partner. I don't understand how it's so easy to just give in like that, but hey, their choice, I guess.

>>5971936
Why has it ruined every relationship I've been in then?
Amongst my peers I have not found it common to go 5 months without liking sexual contact and then desiring it for 7 days and then going back to not wanting anything to do with it.

I'd love for this to be normal. I have not met anyone else like me in real life. Can you point me to where this is normal? To where turning down sex in a relationship doesn't lead to frustration and damaged self esteem? Where amount of sex is not related to the health, love, and happiness in a relationship?


Please, direct me to this commune that have similar sex drives as I do. I'll happily move there.

>>5973631
Well it's true. Many asexuals have trouble finding asexual partners, it's particularly difficult for women as there seems to be more asexual women than men. Many end up in relationships with sexual life partners, and they end up having to have sex to please their sexual boyfriends/husbands. They have sex while not wanting sex and some end up getting drunk before doing it because otherwise they just can't bring themselves to do it. It's quite sad. It's also sad how the rest of the lgbt community doesn't understand the hardships we go through.

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>>5967477
>But here's what you should ask yourself: why is it important to you?
I'm in a relationship and trying to figure out if dumping my (generic sexual) partner based on shit sex life is a good idea or a shit one

Of course I'll never know unless I'll try, but I'd like to have some idea of the risks involved because currently I don't have enough information to make an informed decision

>>5976723
>dumping my (generic sexual) partner based on shit sex life
This is fairly common in general.
Is it unhappy because it's more than you'd like? Or because your partner is unhappy with you?

What kind of communication have you guys done?

>>5945184
Get out.

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>>5977581

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>>5975913
its a hard thing for allosexuals to grasp. there isnt a very good way of explaining it, and its not the same thing as being straight with a low libido, so there is no amount of red wine or forplay or viagra that can bridge that gap for you if you are truly asexual

the only way i can think of explaining it is : imagine being romantically attracted to women and sexually attracted to men. now imagine that exact situation minus the being sexually attracted to men part.

yeah, the romantic attraction has no way to carry over to sexual feelings for the person you love.

its a fucking nightmare.

>>5970454
possibly nick drake

>>5970454
Edward Gorey, maybe

>>5978003
Yep. It is a nightmare. Foreveralone.jpg

>>5975913
This wasn't what I was talking about. My entire post was about allosexual relationships, nothing to do with asexuality.

>>5977330
>>5977330
>This is fairly common in general.
I don't think so, if you ever bring up something like gay + straight marriage nobody ever gets it
I think even people with shit sex life are usually attracted to each other just don't match in kinks or have shit technique


>Is it unhappy because it's more than you'd like?
Both more and not enough, I'd like to have a sex life of sorts, just with someone I'm into

>Or because your partner is unhappy with you?
He's fine, though he'd prefer to have a regular sex life I guess
That said I personally feel guilty about the whole thing


>What kind of communication have you guys done?
What do you mean?
He's fully informed about the situation if that's what you're asking about

>>5947979
>>5950514
hey they're allowed to have a thread too.

>>5983153
>What do you mean?
I mean what have you guys discussed and what have you two tried to improve the situation?

>>5965934
>Spectre was torture
Seems about right. What a dull movie.

>>5983543
Yeah, it's like Force Awakens where it's just a bunch of call backs for the fans within a boring story.

>>5985316
Actually, some asexuals will have sex for the sake of having children.

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>asexual
>used to be open to strangers talking to me
>90% turned out just to be due to sexual interest
>now constantly second guessing people and wondering about their motives for talking to me
>always wondering if a friendship truly is a friendship and nothing else
>always ready to cut ties at a moment's notice

I just want to be normal.

>>5987597
I know that feel so hard

Is it normal that I masturbate , but I can never get instantly hard from anything?
But when I do get hard after some time it gets disgusting to me ?
I'm somewhere in the grey-ace area

>>5990198
>But when I do get hard after some time it gets disgusting to me ?
Oh god, I thought that was only me. During a period of being aroused, there's a chance of me being disgusted.

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>>5987597
Let me educate you about strangers talking to you and their "motives".

>>5990350
>unable to have a conversation about speedforce
I thought anyone with basic knowledge about the flash's knew about that stuff. Or am I so deep in the comic hole that I can't figure out common knowledge of normal people?

>>5990377
To be fair that was written before the TV show, so most normies didn't know what The Flash even was.

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>>5990391
But that show isn't that good. Better than Arrow but that's not a high bar, Especially after the last episode that caused a bunch of fans to quit.

>asexual and depressed
>"it's just a hormone imbalance"
>okay
>take a medication to boost serotonin
>take a medication to boost dopamine
>still the same

Until someone sticks a syringe full of aphrodisiac into my jugular, I don't think anything is going to change.

>>5987597
If people are constantly trying to get into bed with you, that's not tragic; that's exploitable. You are blessed with a long line of stupid people who desperately want something from you that they have no right to ever actually receive. Have fun with that. Ask for favors. See how much negging and abuse they can take before they can gather the self-respect to stop trying to fuck you. Turn two of them against each other and watch them fight for your amusement. Demand that one of them get a mermaid tattoo and refuse to explain why.

>>5991030
...Are the same anon that keeps talking sociopathic stuff in every ace thread we have?

>>5990435
Same.
Also my doctor refuses to acknowledge my concerns about my sexuality because they prioritize the depression.

I have been getting treatment for six years for my depression! Can't we think about something else for one month?

>>5991073
Have you thought about changing docs? It might just be the doc thinking they need to stop the possibility of death first and then work on the sexuality part later.

>>5991081
I've had five doctors over the years, various psychiatric nurse practitioners and a few PCPs. I just got a new PCP so I'll check with him.
Though all the previous have been women, and this one is a guy. Who is very close to my family. So that's a little uncomfortable to be like "DOCTOR HELP ME ENJOY SEX"

But I'll suck it up. I always do.

>>5991097
>So that's a little uncomfortable to be like "DOCTOR HELP ME ENJOY SEX"
I could barely mention it to my doctor and she barely knew my mother's name. I wish I wasn't so nervous when it came to personal things like sex.

>>5991030
Oh, hi. You're back...

>>5991030
Welcome back, sociopath-anon

>>5991036
Because every thread we have is full of aces who are sad because they're putting the feelings of non-aces before their own feelings. Aces may be in the minority, but in a small-scale social environment we can be the ones who determine what's normal. We can put ourselves first for a change.

>>5991030
Have you tried getting help?

>>5991496
Exploiting and abusing other people isn't going to make the normal, healthy people in this thread (ie everybody but yourself) happy.

>>5983446
>I mean what have you guys discussed
I don't know, everything I guess?

>and what have you two tried to improve the situation?
Nothing really, I can't think of anything to do besides splitting up (which won't solve anything if it's permanent) or compromising around it (which I guess we're already kinda doing)

Hey, i'm new here

>in a relationship
>partner is amazing and aknowledges me as asexual
>yet still worrying
>not able to understand how partner's sexual desires work
>in constant fear of being left if they ever find anyone attractive
>not sure to give them enough sex to be satisfying enough
>will they ever get bored because of it
>anxiety spiral

Is it riduculous to worry about it?

What do you people even talk about?

Life without sex sounds boring.

>>5994826
What makes sex so not boring?

>>5994840
temporary pleasure, novelty and bond-forming

You may say videogames or sports do that too but it's simply not comparable, sex is a 100 times better

Also apologies if I sound aggressive, it just feels weird to see people saying sex is bad while I'm sleeping alone and forcing a pillow on my back because my bf is on a trip.

>>5994848
It's okay, I guess I was sounding aggressive. I'm just trying to figure it out.

>>5994795
How long have you been together? It's valid for you to worry. And I don't mean that in the sense of that you're right to worry, but that you shouldn't beat yourself up over it.

What I'd suggest for you to do is open some communication. Avoid sobbing about how you're an awful person, since that won't be very productive.

Try going through the perspective of, "I'd like to make things better for you! Do you have any suggestions?" Try to make it a little fun for yourself. While I didn't care about the actual sex part, my previous relationship Incorporated some fetishy things. It was fun role-playing and goofing around.

>>5994470
>Nothing really
>compromising around it
What kind of compromises?
If you want to improve things, you're going to have to try something. Here are some things that I tried last time:

>scheduling sex in advance (avoids issues of being turned down all the time but reduces frequency)
>roleplay (student/teacher typically)
>incorporating sex toys
>blindfolds
>having a massage beforehand
>making a little "date" together (we lived together, weren't dating anymore)
>having my partner masturbate next to me
>combining masturbating and oral
>seeing what happens if I never turned down sex
>dressing up in attractive outfits

If you can't think of anything to try to improve your sex life, it sounds like you've already given up. Do you really want to save this relationship? If you're not dedicated to the effort that goes into trying, that's an indicator in itself.

>>5996484
I'm really confused how any of these is supposed help though, most seem like solutions for "attraction with poor quality of sex" situation, which I already said isn't my situation

>If you can't think of anything to try to improve your sex life, it sounds like you've already given up. Do you really want to save this relationship?
That's the problem, I didn't come here for advice how to save the relationship, I've come here for an advice IF I should do it, figuring how can come after I decide

>>5998217
Only you can decide if it's worth it.
I did these things without attraction. I spent three years with my relationship. It was a bad idea for other reasons.

>>5996455
It's been a year and we're living together.
In my previous relationship, my ex was always saying how unfair it was of me refusing sex to them when I tried to. Saying I wasn't really in love and stuff like that.
So I guess now I feel guilty for receiving so much tolerance and not being enough in return.

How does one perform mitosis?

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>>6000810
like this

So I have masturbated to gay porn all my life and figured this makes me gay.
For the past 10 years I've been having gay sex, and it's just not doing it. I've reached the point of ejaculation probably 5 times in the presence of another person, and only 1 of those times was without jacking off.
I get really excited about having sex until the clothes come off and we're doing it. Then I'm always like "this is really gross. other people are really gross." All of my relationships have ended because my boyfriends "couldn't make me cum" and didn't want to be in a relationship with me if I wasn't sexually attracted to them.
I can't imagine it's any better with a girl. And I'm not romantically interested in girls anyway.
>forever alone

There's no such thing as asexuality. It's just a low or repressed sex drive. Stop trying to normalize it by calling it a sexual orientation.

>>6001329
But what if lewd or sexual acts actually are a turn off?

Honestly I'd rather spend a night cuddling with some kissing and not go any further.

>>6000913
I seem to end up in similar situations. Every time I'm in a sexual situation with males or females I can just never cum, it's just not very pleasant. Thing is I don't even have a low libido I probably jack off twice a day at least.

>>5998217
It could be worth it, depending on how you feel about your partner - but if you are questioning it then you kind of sound like you don't want to put in the effort.

>casually make sex jokes
>talk about romance
>mention I'm ace to a friend
>make a joke about treating a lock like how you treat a lady
>friend makes a comment that I shouldn't be talking about such things because I'm ace

>>6001329
It's mostly just shorthand for "I do not desire sex"
Which is different from desiring sex and choosing not to have it, ie celibacy or abstinence.

Because some asexuals do not desire sex, but have it anyway, usually to appease sexual partners.

They would prefer not to though.

Celibacy and abstinence implies that the sex will begin at some point, usually after knowing them well enough or after marriage.

If someone's sexuality changes in the future, fine. But we are not psychics. We can only see what we have now.

Sexuality is about who you are sexually attracted to. We are not attracted to anyone.

It's a helpful distinction.

Does anyone know if there's any connection with Asexuality and BPD? A lot of asexuals I know, including myself, tend to have BPD and I was just wondering if it's a common thing or if it's a coincidence.

>>6004250
I don't think there's been any studies about mental disorders and asexuality since scientists are still iffy if we are even a thing still.

But in my experience, I haven't met any ace person with BPD myself but that could just be luck of the draw.

This might sound a bit weird but I don't really dress the way I want to because I'm worried about people becoming interested in a sexual relationship with me. I've found that wearing frumpy clothing makes me almost invisible which I like. But I also want to wear other things but it shows more skin and/or fits closer to the body.

Is there anyway to get around this? Or should I just damage my face and hope for the best?

>>6004250
Borderline or bipolar?

>>6005762
My way around it is avoiding the chest and the butt. I wear flared skirts and structured bodies over a blouse make breasts a non issue.
Though I don't have much boob to begin with.

But I'm also assuming you mean people having sexual thoughts about your appearance.
If you're talking about people you actually know who desire a sexual relationship with you, I'm sorry, but nothing will stop that.
Sexuals associate sex with love and romance. People will become attracted to your personality and your face, and they will want sex with you to show their love.

Dressing in a certain way will not attract people who want a romantic relationship without sex. That is not the norm.

Maybe wear things that make you look religious. Cross necklaces, ankle length dresses (NOT sundress maxidresses), single French braid, high collars, long denim skirtz, you know what I'm talking about?
But that is not to make you sexually unappealing. It's to make people assume you are extremely religious and therefore celibate.

>>5994848
We are not saying that it's bad, we just can't and don't enjoy it like you do. For me, for example, sex is about as much fun as going to the dentist.

>>6007836
>If you're talking about people you actually know who desire a sexual relationship with you, I'm sorry, but nothing will stop that.

Oh no, I don't have any of those since I nip those in the bud very quickly.

What kind of relationship is possible if the sexualities are incompatible?
e.g.
Male Ace -> Lesbian female
Male Ace -> Straight male
Female Ace -> Straight female
Female Ace -> Gay male

>>5957380
I was like this for a while, but I found a person I liked, and through a great deal of effort, real sex with a real person became a really fun and pleasurable experience. In retrospect, I was never asexual.

I'd recommend getting closer to other people. You might surprise yourself with how attracted you become to them.

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My sister is like, 26 and has constantly ignored guys who hit on her and avoided her sexuality for most of her life, never had a boyfriend ever or anything like that insofar I know, and she's never been even borderline interested in even fictional romantic or emotional stuff. She's the least sexual person I know, I can't even imagine her masturbating or anything. She mentioned one time that she's not interested in relationships in the slightest. I didn't really push for more information since she seemed a bit uncomfortable, but I want to understand her better.

As a straight girl, I don't really *get* it. Can someone explain why people some people wind up asexual? I mean, I thiiiiiiiiink she's attracted to guys in at least a superficial level, but relationships are totally different? Do asexuals have any sexual feelings, or can some just abhor relationships rather than sexuality?

Just kinda confused. :S

>>6009316
>why people some people wind up asexual
There's some medical cases, but generally people don't "wind up" asexual. It's just who you are.

The terminology you're looking for, for someone who has sexual inclinations but doesn't want a relationship is aromantic. Where they would still want sex with another person.

And asexual aromantic wants neither.

Some aces have sexuality that isn't directed at anyone. It's usually expelled with masturbation.

Also I'd suggest avoiding emoticons and emphasis like *asterisks* or streeeetching out a word. You'll get treated poorly on 4chan. It's associated with immaturity and you'll be assumed to be a minor. And 4chan is enforced as 18+.

>>6009203
...friendship?

>>5945184
>We needed a new thread because the last one died about a week ago
>turns out asexfags can't keep it up

>>6014381
Nah, it actually autosaged itself and none of us actually made one until now.

>>6014611
>just doesn't care enough to bother keeping it up

>>6014780
nigga, I can't even bother to keep up a boner.

>>6014381
I assumed that the mods were actually listening to the whiners who say we don't belong here. I thought they were getting deleted.

>>6014819
Some have.

>>6014819
>>6014882
Shame they aren't. Asexuals, even if they exist, don't belong on LGBT.

>>6014940
You guys really need to plan your stuff together so you can be more effective.

>>6014975
Hint: it's still all the same person.

>>6015141
Then they need to get better material if they think a copy and past message is going to change our minds.

Has anyone has success telling someone who is very religious about their asexuality? I know it's going to eventually come up with my grandparents so I want to be ready.

>>6016719
Tell them that God called you to be celibate and focus your resources on the betterment of mankind rather than raising your own kin.

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>>6016751
...That might actually work since I'm becoming a STEM major.

>>6016719
Why do your grandparents need to know? Tell them to mind their own business.

>>6016757
Happy to help!

>>6016845
If I said that, I would have my hands cut off. Plus, it'll hopefully get rid of the "when do I get my great grandkids" talk.

>>5987597
I feel you. It didn't happen often to me but there was always that fear which made it almost impossible for me to talk to others during my teen time, especially since I didn't get along with girls either. I mostly talked to teachers since I knew they aren't interested in some kid who looks even way younger than she actually is and most of them were married for ages anyway.
It was okay once I turned 20 since I wasn't so insecure anymore and most people are cool when they stop being teens. Today (I'm 30 now) out of the ~10 guys I am friends with (around 26 to 31 years old) there is only one who seems to be somewhat interested but he knows that I am asexual and never tried to convince me otherwise.

>>6016757
Holy shit I'm a STEM major too. Never realized I can use this excuse. Should the time come, I shall.
My grandfather actually decided he'd give me money like monthly so that I'd, paraphrasing of course, "be able to take a girl out to dinner sometime". I was just like "oh, thanks!"

Do any asexuals wish they were sexual?

>>6020454
Retaliate with "when do I get to put you in a home and forget about you" talk

>>6027673
Probably not. The difference between wanting sex and wanting to want sex is pretty much academic. If you want to want sex, you can just pursue sex, which for all intents and purposes makes you sexual.

>>5987597
I'm a straight lad. I talk to girls all the time without any ulterior motives. Pretty much exactly half of my friends are girls, nearly all of whom are attractive. That doesn't get in the way of our friendship at all. I'm a virgin who has literally never tried to pull a woman so I'm not exactly representative but all of my friends, even the chad ones are in more or less the same position. Even if most are looking to pull you should still give people the benefit of the doubt. There are plenty of people who just want a chat and there are plenty who would be happy to be your friend after rejection. The way the courtship rituals work is that lads have to talk to strange girls in social settings, so obviously you will see a lot of that but it doesn't mean you have to partake.

Most importantly I think you should be less eager to cut ties and more open to friendship. It is actually quite important not to be lonely, I'd imagine doubly so for people who find it difficult to enter into romantic relationships.

>>5990350
this is run of the mill edgy 4chan bullshit.

>>5987597
that's not an asexual problem that's a normal girl problem, though you seem to be getting way too caught up in it

>>6027954
Asexuality ≠ wanting sex.
Asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction.

Even if an ace person went out and fucked a bunch of people, they'd still be ace.

>>6028533
Sexual attraction does equal wanting sex. Even if you don't get physically aroused very easily, or even at all, if you're going out and pursuing sex for its own sake rather than as some kind of means to an end, you're not ace.

>>6028830
It doesn't equal that.

If a gay man wants to repress his feelings and stay in the closet and continue to have sex with women, it doesn't make him straight (or bisexual, or anything other than gay). If an ace person wants to have sex with someone, it doesn't change that they're ace.

People have sex for a myriad of reasons. For pleasure, for power, to show romantic feelings, to not be lonely, because they're curious, to "scratch an itch," etc.

Our sexualities are about attraction, not action.

>>6028830
>>6027954

I'm an ace who had sex to satisfy my sexual ex. It was an awful idea.
Just because I've had sex doesn't mean I enjoyed or wanted it.
I think you're confusing asexuality with abstinence. Plus, if an asexual becomes a sexual by having sex, if a sexual doesn't have sex for a long enough period, are they asexual?

>>6028895
so an "asexual" male can, get an erection, have sex with a female, and orgasm and yet, not enjoy the experience whatsoever and still not feel at all "sexually attracted" to the partner? run it down for me how that works.
aren't we just disputing terminology here ? I think there's extreme cases where someone has like zero sex drive but they usually suffer from depression and other things along with it.
I dunno, just seems kind of bullshit to label this as an orientation or try to make it seem like there's an asexual community.

>>5991030
genuine sociopath right right here.

>>6030896
>so an "asexual" male can, get an erection, have sex with a female, and orgasm and yet, not enjoy the experience whatsoever and still not feel at all "sexually attracted" to the partner? run it down for me how that works.

Not that anon but basically yes. Many asexuals, including myself, find sex unappealing to the point of feeling disgust.

However, many asexuals will have sex in order to satisfy their partners. From what I've heard, they tend to see it as a performing a chore for someone you love.

Try to think of it as falling in love with a 10/10 only to find out that they will only have sex if you're wearing a diaper on your head while chanting "DESHI DESHI BASARA BASARA".

>>6030896
>so an "asexual" male can, get an erection, have sex with a female, and orgasm and yet, not enjoy the experience whatsoever and still not feel at all "sexually attracted" to the partner?
Have you ever heard of a rape boner?
Sexual organs can be stimulated to be aroused without it actually being what the owner desires, wants, or enjoys.

Why can't we have a community of like minded individuals come together to help with shared struggles? My asexuality has caused me so much more strife, self-loathing, and relationship-trouble than my bisexuality ever had.
Technically biromanticism if you'd prefer that.

>>6030896
Yes. They also CAN enjoy the experience and still not be sexually attracted to someone.

We're not disputing terminology at all. Sex drive isn't related to sexual attraction.

I don't think you were the original person I was talking with, and I'm not really here to convince you that asexuality exists.

>>6031638
>Have you ever heard of a rape boner?
is that some kind of meme that was forged on 4chan or 9gag or something?
>Sexual organs can be stimulated to be aroused
well I'd say that's still part of you, and that makes you feel an "attraction" on some basic level. that's why I think this is mostly in how you define it.
>Why can't we have a community of like minded individuals come together to help with shared struggles?
you're allowed to talk about whatever you want, I meant specifically the idea there's a global or even small or local communities of asexuals seems pretty suspect. it's a fine label for a phenomenon but I just can't believe it's a real orientation.
>My asexuality has caused me so much more strife, self-loathing, and relationship-trouble than my bisexuality ever had.
so you were bisexual and became asexual?
>>6032010
so they can enjoy sex and not be attracted to the partner or any level, okay.
I know a lot of people that would label themselves straight that would fall into this category I guess. certainly no attraction on an emotional level, just a sort of "addicted to sex and game playing" thing
I never liked the word attraction personally

>>6032314
>is that some kind of meme that was forged on 4chan or 9gag or something?
I'm sorry but I can't even take this question seriously to the point where I'm thinking you're actually a troll. But I'm still going to answer it in the hopes that you just don't know.

When a man is sexually assaulted or raped, there is a chance that their penis will become erect and they could even orgasm. This also can occur in women as well. Think of it as being tickled. It's a bodily reaction you can't stop and didn't want it to happen.

Also, I find it a bit weird how you think that erection = attraction. For example, a man could be attracted to girls but gets nervous when sex occurs and can't obtain an erection. In your definition, that means he's not attracted to girls at all.

I suggest you either change your definition of attraction to one that is actually in the dictionary.

>I meant specifically the idea there's a global or even small or local communities of asexuals seems pretty suspect. it's a fine label for a phenomenon but I just can't believe it's a real orientation.
How is it suspect? You said it yourself that it is a phenomenon and therefore shouldn't members of that phenomenon be able to have a community?

Also, there is much debate on whether asexuality should be called an orientation much like atheism should be called a religion.

>I know a lot of people that would label themselves straight that would fall into this category I guess. certainly no attraction on an emotional level, just a sort of "addicted to sex and game playing" thing
That's not asexuality. Please scroll up and read the definition on the OP.
Anyway, I'm going to stop because you seem quite set in your ways and some times you have to let sleeping dogs lie.

>>6032314
Emotional attraction also isn't the same as sexual or physical attraction.

It blows my mind how little thought allosexual folks put into their feelings.

>>6032601
>Emotional attraction also isn't the same as sexual or physical attraction.

I know, don't go feeling a special snow flake just yet.

>>6032601
You're generalizing a bit too much there, comrade.

Has anyone found a few similarities between asexuals? I've found a lot of the ones I have seen are artists and very easy going.

>>6032601
>allosexual
wow i had to google that, i guess now i understand how people get annoyed at "cis"

>>6032615
What is this even saying?

>>6032621
I'm not gonna worry too much when this person is just another allo person trying to say asexuality doesn't exist.

>>6032662
It came from people not wanting to call people "sexuals" because it sounds weird.

>tfw a person you know only talks about ass and boobs and dicks

Does anyone else get frustrated when fictional characters fall in love with someone when there's a bunch of shit that happening around them?

I remember this one book where this one dude had the chance of being assassinated every single second he lived and he also had to deal with these rebels attacking the place he lived and he still thought it was a good idea to get interested in vagina.

A war is happening, you fuck! The only thing that should be on your mind is not getting killed!

>mfw all my friends are now getting married and having babies
>knowing ill have to handle all 100% of my domestic responsibilites alone where others have families to help them (hello higher tax and insurance rates lol)
>knowing i no longer have any friends either because theyve shut themselves off in their little "family bubbles"
>wondering why younger generations find asexuality as some new trendy thing on tumblr

>>6033519
>knowing i no longer have any friends either because theyve shut themselves off in their little "family bubbles"

That hit me right in the feels. That's one of my biggest fears.

>>6033000
No I hate that too. Like when the leads just happen to be a man and a woman so they force a romanctic subplot into the movie. It's awkward and unecessary. Not every single movie needs it.

The Force Awakens was a good example of this actually. A well written friendship that they decided to turn romantic at the last second because reasons.

>>6033537
Yeah. It's happened to the majority of my friends so far. The ones who have still stuck around are the drug addicts or deadbeats struggling to even pay child support or both. All while the "successful" ones are too busy flaunting baby pictures all over Facebook to even answer a text asking if they wanna go out for a beer.

Growing up fucking sucks, man. And being asexual just highlights that shittiness even more imo.

>>6033552
Yeah, The Force Awakens shows a very good relationship. But holy shit, a forced romance is painful to read or watch.

It's like smashing two dolls together.

>mfw the only friend I've ever came out as ace and accepted it now doubts my aromanticism because 'you had a sentimental partner once'
>I already told him when I came out I've always felt this way and it's one of the reasons the relationship didn't work and ended up being so toxic
everything sucks

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>ASEXUAL
THATS SOMETHING A COMPLETE RETARD MADE UP AS AN EXCUSE FOR NOT WANTING TO GET OUT OF HIS BASEMENT AND MEET WOMEN/MEN.

LMAOing @ your lives desu

>>6033983
at least use a danker meme face

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>>6033999
>he has no comeback

>>6034013
okay, that one is better.

>>6032314
>so you were bisexual and became asexual?
I thought that me saying "technically biromantic" would clear up this confusion.

I am romantically attracted to men and women. I want to share my life with a significant other. I do not want to have sex with that person.

>is that some kind of meme that was forged on 4chan or 9gag or something?
I guess I'm glad that you nor anyone comfortable confiding in you has ever dealt with rape boners.

First time being back to /lgbt/ in like 6 months let alone on acegen.
Someone tell me what the fuck an allosexual is please?

>>6036220
Non ace people, basically.

>>6036220
People who are not ace. It came from people not wanting to say "sexuals" when talking about non ace people.

Do people accept your asexuality? Is it a lot of "you'll grow out of it eventually" talk?

>>6033552
>The Force Awakens was a good example of this actually. A well written friendship that they decided to turn romantic at the last second because reasons.
Where the fuck did romance happen? I didn't see that at any point

I never visit LGBT but did so out of curiosity and my various theories on the subject. I consider myself the former asexual definition. I always believed the distinction was a very subtle way in entrenching the personal shame people similar to me have to face. This may sound stupid here but I do not believe in the latter definition, and simply can't believe someone would deny themselves sex. To me sex is a very broad term, and sexual arousal and gratification can be infinitely more intersectional with common behaviors. Clitoral stimulation is just one way to overide your mind's typical conditioning functions. Humans on a basic level I believe will all seek verification from other humans, considering the favorable social predisposition we survived on. I think there are many asexuals having sex regularly because they were conditioned to, essentially. I hate to be edgy in an asexual thread, but I believe we all want to mate, but reject most of what is expected and have kept our sexuality as the higher price,reward, it should be recognized, and that is the ultimate positive conditioning tool that musnt not be abused.

>>6041626
Did you not even read the second definition? No one is denying themselves anything.

Take your armchair psychology elsewhere.

>>6033578
How old are you and your friends? I am NOT looking forward to this when the time comes myself.

>>6032662

It doesn't even make sense. You don't have atheists and allotheists, you have atheists and theists. Proper terminology would be "asexuals" and "sexuals".

>>6043226
Yes, but the ~sexuals~ got mad when they were called that, so they got a different name.

"Allo" is the opposite of "auto." Autosexual would be only being attracted to yourself (which I guess might define some aces, but isn't equivalent to asexual). Allosexual is being attracted to others.

>>6043460
I don't buy it. It seems more likely to be tumblr-types, triggered that the reverse of the "a-" prefix is nothing, and that it thus implies sexual are normal or something. Thus "allo-".

I suppose to troll further one could coin eusexual.

>>6043483
No, the issue actually comes from the allo crowd. We originally just used the word "sexual," and allo folks were upset because it implied they were always sexual or hypersexual or whatnot. So instead, allosexual was coined.

Then, the allos were back at it again, and tried to say that ace folks were appropriating French Canadian slang by taking "allosexual" because the French have "allosexuel/le" which is essentially their slang umbrella term similar to "queer," and they were upset that we would throw straight sexual people into a group that used a word which French people used for queer people. Which makes no sense because the words are unrelated, and similar-sounding words exist in languages all of the time. But that's entirely irrelevant and just another excuse for the allo community to undermine us because they don't want to be labelled because THEY are the ones who consider themselves "normal."

So yeah, allos complained about being called "sexual," so now they get called "allosexual." If they don't like that, I don't really care.

>>6043779
>So yeah, allos complained about being called "sexual," so now they get called "allosexual." If they don't like that, I don't really care.

Well, I'm a sexual person and this

>>6043483

Was what I assumed too. I've never heard 'sexuals' used to describe non-asexuals.

>>6043779
Much like cis people who have an issue with cis, typically people who kick up a fuss about allosexual really just want it to be "asexual" and "normal"

>>6042801
I'm nearly 30. My friends are around my age as well. So I suppose that "sink or swim" lifestyle is normal for them. I just hate that I feel left out or alone.

>>6043937
I don't think the issue is so much as being called "cis" or "allo" but more how Tumblr has a much larger userbase and the majority of them use it in a negative way. It's like people getting pissed over being called "white boy." While the term itself isn't derogatory at all, it's often used as such in certain circles.

>>6043937
Ding ding ding.

>>6044227
Using a term like that to express frustration at a group that does harm to yours isn't really a problem.

If a trans person is using "cis" as a derogatory term because of the shit they receive in their life because of cis people, I don't get upset as a cis person. I understand that it's a way to vent, and it allows me to look at where the frustration is coming from and see if there's anything I can do to help alleviate it, whether it's with my own behaviour or someone else's.

Their anger is reactionary, and I think that's important to remember.

>>6044272

So hating on a group is okay as long as the group that you're hating on is the majority, or a group of people with perceived privileges over you?

>>6044464
Congrats on not reading anything I said!

>>6044272
Found the Tumblrista.

Anon from >>6044464 put it pretty well. Hate doesn't solve hate.

Is there a way to become asexual? Or more accurate to what i want severly reduce male sex drive? I dont care if its physically ir mentally harmful.

>>6046269
Take testosterone blockers or get an orchie to nuke your T by removing the balls

>>6044629
I don't go on tumblr, but okay.

Again, there's a distinction between hatred and reactionary anger. If you can't understand that, you're an idiot.

>>6048028
>"these individuals of a group hate me for something i cant control so im gonna lump them in with people who share those traits and hate them back for those same traits they were born with"
>"but instead im going to call it "reactionary anger" to hide that im being just as bad of a piece if shit bigot as the ones i hate"
>add in victim mindset to that bullshit
>believes everyone of a certain gender or sexuality is bad because "oppression"

You may not have an actual tumblr, but honey, you're textbook tumblr.

>>6041743
I think we have a deeper concours decision making than second definitionists are willing to admit. I think the higher your in the more you're aware of it. Thanks for the compliment though I see I've made an impression on you through that quick ramble. The reality is it is genetically impossible to deny sex, even if you're convincing your self throughout that it's not pleasurable because of sweat smell or whatever it may be. It will always be a conscious decision and if it isn't, you're more than asexual- you're abnormal. You shouldn't deny what I'm saying either- the desire for pitty sex, or in a way "the perfect" sex, that just confirms your own toxic idea of self.

Ah asexuality, the good ole excuse for "I can't get laid so let me label myself because I lack the character to stand out without some fake bullshit sexuality"

>>6048427
No one is denying themselves anything here. We don't desire sex. It isn't that we think it isn't pleasurable (though there are some sex-repulsed asexuals), it's that there's no desire for it at all.

You don't understand asexuality in its basic definition.

I didn't give you any compliments. But not surprising that you thought that since you seem to have zero comprehension skills.

>>6048443
You are the one lacking comprehension. You're stuck in the communistic idea that human behavior is mostly thought- it is not. Sexual behavior is not thought- it is ingrained. However our brains- the heaviest organ- is mendable. To be the second definition means to be defunct- not human. The nuance I suggest is that asexual sexuality is just hidden under many layers of psychological behavior and susceptibility. Youre saying this part of your brain and habit does not exist- hence you are abnormal- not some edgy asexual that goes further to deny himself sex. You're like a creationist trying to encompass evolutionary thought, but instead of sticking "all put in place by God" you stick "never liked and needed sex deep down inside so ha screw you"

>>6048461
I'm not going to argue with someone who thinks that ace folks are abnormal. Bye.

>>6048489
I do not expect you to admit anything- shit the only reason I type this is because of compassion. After all it is not sexy to show submission in spite of the opposition. You should look up John Calhouns mice utopia experiments and you will get an introduction to what I am aiming at.

>>6048503
At least you're more interesting than the regular asexuality isn't real trolls

>>6048503
Not that anon but
>the only reason I type this is because of compassion
I don't want to sound rude but... We don't need it. Finding a word to describe myself was what gave me peace of mind after a decade thinking I just wasn't 'good at being straight' but thinking that I had to no matter what because it was what was 'correct'. Now I'm happier than ever knowing that's not how it is, and I'm sure I'm not the only one feeling this way. So why should you feel bad for me? You just are demonstrating you have the idea that people must have sex and relationships in order to be happy greatly internalized, because that's what growing in a culture/society has taught you. And you can see how toxic that idea is with so many people clutching onto relationships just in order to feel they're valuable, or for fears of being alone.
>etc etc abnormal etc
What was called a disorder thirty years ago too? Homosexuality. Now story just repeats itself. It's even funny seeing the same 'arguments' now with asexuality.
I have to mention that if you go to the last update of the DSM-5 you can find this http://www.asexualityarchive.com/asexuality-in-the-dsm-5/ as main post says. In the another hand I've read several studies about sexuality and acknowledging asexuality thanks to uni giving me access to a ton of bibliography. Though not everything is out to any public (aka you have to pay) if you ever feel curious you have the link in the main post about researchs. There's also google scholar.

>>6048461
>Sexual behavior is not thought- it is ingrained. However our brains- the heaviest organ- is mendable. To be the second definition means to be defunct- not human.

You're saying that because we don't have the desire to procreate, we do not exist.
You could, and people do, use the same argument against gays. Because gays will not reproduce. But they damn well exist.

It seems you're saying that sexuality is such a fundamental part of your being, that you can't imagine someone not having that urge.

I have the opposite issue. I have a difficult time comprehending sexuals and how they tick.

Sexuality is very bizarre. I spent a couple years trying to become a sexual. I wish that this was a conscious decision. I'd like to turn this off. Or turn this on, I guess it is.

>>6044206
Thanks anon. I'm 20, so they're are a few years to go yet. What you describe is my biggest fear though, being left behind. The scary part is it seems to happen to everyone.

This is probably contained in the sticky in some capacity, but I prefer personal responses: I went on a trip out of state with a friend and his friends and met a guy who I have been told is asexual. I absolutely adore him. We've exchanged numbers and stuff and we're actually going to a taping of his favorite public station TV show together. I want to ask him on an explicit date afterwards if it goes well and I just want to know how to express that I'm interested in him while respecting boundaries.

>>6053848
You know his boundaries already, and you want to invade them anyway. Just don't. I know you said you only want to date him, but unless you're also ace it won't work. You might think you can endure being close to him but never fucking him, but trust me, you can't. That's why you're not ace.

>>5996455
>my previous relationship Incorporated some fetishy things. It was fun role-playing and goofing around.

That was lucky. Kinky stuff is less boring and easier to fake your way through than regular sex. A lot of the time you don't even have to be physically aroused, and your partner might never notice that you're not into it. The best case scenario (short of finding another ace, of course) is finding someone with a chastity fetish.

Don't take roleplay with a submissive partner as a license to say whatever you want, though. I learned the hard way that when a girl wants you to insult her as a form of foreplay, she is looking for only the most basic of name-calling and not an honest critique of her.

>>6056127
I think you're making a lot of hostile assumptions about me. I don't know his boundaries because I don't know him very well yet.

>>6056232
>>6056232
>Don't take roleplay with a submissive partner as a license to say whatever you want, though
I actually am the sub girl in this situation.
But yes, my ex had to learn that too. But his issue was more like assuming that if I am submissive, I like all submissive things. He also was mistaken about me being a masochist. Even though I corrected him several times.
I think he was just really sadistic but would rather pretend to have miscommunications than admit it.

Don't be my ex, friends. Communicate, be honest, and be excellent to one another.
>And party on dudes!

>>5945184
>pretending that asexuality exists

>>6058718
Ty for bump.

I kind of wonder, are there times of day that acegen is most active?
Since it seems a trope that sexuals come when they're horny at night. When are our peaks?

I've identified as asexual since highschool. Recently I've been questioning whether I'm just gay and I'm so far in the closet that I've denied myself same-sex attraction.

But I'm going to be foreveralone either way so there's no point really outing myself.

>>6030896
Imagine a woman giving a blowjob to a straight man. Now replace the woman with a man. The straight man is still getting the same blowjob, still experiencing the same thing, and will probably still orgasm from it.Swap the genders and sexuality around any way you like, it all ends up the same. Either everyone in the world is bisexual, or you have to accept the possibility that a person can have sex and orgasm with another person who he or she isn't sexually attracted to .

>>6059073
I'm in the same boat as you, only I've been using the asexual id for about half a year so far. I've only just started getting in touch with my more homo side and as much as I feel happy for finally accepting that part of me, it just makes me more and more confused about what I want out of a partner or even if I want a partner. Like, I would love to date and everything, but the thought of staring down the barrel of somebody's genitals frightens me.

>>6056232
>The best case scenario (short of finding another ace, of course) is finding someone with a chastity fetish.
Is it weird that I'm asexual yet have a chastity fetish?...

>>6053848
I say go for it. Unlike >>6056127 I see absolutely nothing wrong with that plan. Good luck, hope it goes well!

>>6059214
>Either everyone in the world is bisexual, or you have to accept the possibility that a person can have sex and orgasm with another person who he or she isn't sexually attracted to .
Be careful with making that argument. If you've ever gone outside of /acegen/ you'll find that many bisexual people are convinced that everybody is bisexual.
That's probably in much the same way that I have trouble accepting that not everybody is asexual (is anyone else like that?)

Is it worth it to come out as ace to your friends? I'm thinking of telling my friend who I think would be most understanding of it this weekend.

>>6066599
Depends, will your asexuality affect them in any way?

>>6066599
No. Unless you absolutely need to, don't. I'd only tell potential partners you are dating.

>>6066611
Affect them how? I don't think so, I don't have romantic feelings for any of them.
It's mostly because I was super confused sexually for so long until I realized I was ace. I just think it would be really nice to just be totally open about myself to someone for once :P

>>6066661
Well, if you want to tell someone close, I don't see why not. But I don't necessarily think you need to come out to anyone unless you're dating somebody or trying to get family off your back.

>>5970454
The guy wrote the bible, Paul of Tarsus, was apparently asexual. Which explains why the Catholic Church has some serious issues with sex for anything other than having children.

>>6046269
Drink bleach. Corpses have zero capacity for sexual attraction and no sex drive.

>>6066599
I came out to my friends. They were pretty cool with it and since then, I've felt more comfortable making dirty jokes around them and dressing how I want.

But really, it wasn't as huge of a deal as it would've been if I had been gay or trans. And it while it wasn't necessary, I just wanted to come out anyway.

>side note: i am ftm but am still working up the nerve for that conversation lmao

>>5970454
Isn't Morrissey ace? I thought I read somewhere that he was.

There aren't many famous asexuals though. Comes with the territory of being maybe 0.01% of the population. (Or something like that, Idk.)

>>6065110
>trouble accepting not everybody is asexual
That's a strange concept. Like, do you think allosexuals fake it ?

>>6068873
No, I know that they don't, and like I know that they obviously aren't all asexual logically, but some part of my brain refuses to accept it. It's basically the default for my brain. The way it really manifests itself is that often I just sort of forget that people can be sexual and someone says something and it just seems out of the blue for me, like I forgot that this whole part of the world existed

Is dating a sexual worth it, or will her sex drive make it impossible?

>>6066599
I would say yes. Your friends will understand a large part of how you tick. Coming out as ace has made me feel more comfortable around the friends I have told. Obviously only tell those friends you completely trust though.

>>6074497
So here my allosexual two cents, in the form of my story :

I have been with an asexual for almost 5 y. now. We do no sex, unlimited cuddles, light kissing.

She didn't tell me for a looong time so that caused some problems on my part : I thought she just wasn't attracted to me (which t.b.h was somewhat self-esteem crushing).

It probably only works because I have relatively low libido. (To give an idea, I feel like masturbating about one to two times per week), and I dont feel sex is "necessary" to bond as a couple.

So maybe be upfront about your asexuality, and discuss her sex drive level. (It will be an awkard conversation, for sure.)

If I misread your post and you're asking about casual dating w/ no perspective of long term, then ignore my shit up and shame my reading comprehension.

>>6074497
It mostly depends on what each party wants and what they're willing to give.

asexual who doesn't want to have sex + sexual who wants sex = nope

asexual who doesn't want to have sex + sexual who wants sex + open relationship = yes

asexual who is willing to have sex + sexual who wants sex = yes

asexual who doesn't want sex + sexual who is willing to not have sex = yes

>>6074750
>If I misread your post and you're asking about casual dating w/ no perspective of long term, then ignore my shit up and shame my reading comprehension.
Not that guy but first off, there wasn't exactly much written there in the first place so your reading comprehension is fine. Don't beat yourself up over it. Second off, I feel your answer still applies to both. In the end the struggle would be basically identical.

>>6066599
I'm not good at faking things, so my friends realize pretty quickly that I'm odd when it comes to sexual matters. I don't go out of my way to "come out," but when I'm inevitably asked why I show no interest in relationships or sex, I have no problem explaining as necessary. Pretty simple. If they're my friends, then they'll be cool with it. If not, well then, why give a fuck what they think?

>>6078844
Hi, how's your day going?

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603 KB, 565x391

I've thought I was ace for the past 4 years and for the past 6+ months I've thought I was also a sociopath. I thought this because I see people as tools. They are all pieces in the machine of my life that serves a purpose. I see feelings as a weakness that get in the way of tough choices and working towards your goal so I try to feel nothing.

The other day my dogs ran away and when we were looking for them I realized I wasn't crying (rest of senpai was) so I did to fit in but I kept feeling distracted because I had to focus on acting sad. On my way home I actually cried and I kept wondering why I was since I was alone in the car. And I eventually came to a new idea about myself:

What if I have split personalities where one is normal (caring, sexual, emotional) and it is being heavily suppressed by one that's sociopathic (uses people, sees people as devices, always feels nothing, asexual)?

>TL;DR: have you ever questioned that you are asexual
>Also: anyone else here a sociopath here besides >>5991030
>Thought about posting on b or adv but I figured I'd get shit for saying asexuality

>>6079525
My guess would be that you might have emotions that you are suppressing. You said yourself, that you think emotions are useless and you want to avoid them.

I doubt you have split personalities, since wouldn't it have come up earlier?

What happened four years ago?

>>6074497
You have to be compatible. You both have to be happy with no sex at all, or you both have to be happy with some specific amount of sex.

And it can't just be an amount of sex that you can "handle" or that you're "willing to offer." You have to be literally happy with it or you can't keep it up over the long term. Because nobody wants to have sex with someone who's only doing it begrudgingly. Rape fantasies may be common, but nobody fantasizes about sex-as-a-chore.

>>6056443
You know that he's ace and you know that you're not. That's all you need to know. Respect your friend and respect yourself by accepting the fact that the two of you are incompatible.

>>6080586
We don't really know anon's situation. I definitely agree that we should discourage a sexual from pursuing an asexual, but it has been done before.

It's just like this person says >>6074861

Oftentimes one might not be entirely sure what they are and are not willing to do, but that's a learning process.

>>6080539
4 years ago is when I started considering my sexuality because I wasn't sure I was straight. I didn't think I was gay but for a while I thought I was bi since I felt the same towards everyone. It was around that time that I discovered asexuality and started using that term to describe me to myself (I haven't told anyone I know). I don't have and suppressed memories and noting bad happened I just see emotions as a blinding curtain in front of what I want.

>>6080619
>>6074861
Those last two options seem tempting, but they don't work. Sex isn't the same when both parties know that one party doesn't really want it and is just doing it to get it over with or to hold up one end of an agreement. And sexuals can't just voluntarily go their whole lives without sex. It messes them up. That's why priests end up diddling kids.

An open relationship might work, but sexuals are always tempted to attach sexual desire to every other kind of desire. That's why advertisers use sex to sell things that have nothing to do with sex. It's because sex is the overpowering metric for value in a sexual person's life.

>>6080619
Agreed. My best friend has been dating the same chick continuously since sophomore year high school. We're both 21 now (is that 5 years? Idk). She is ace and not willing to do much and he isn't ace but not that horny. He tells me there's some times when it is hard (hehe) because he's horny and she isn't but they really love each other and work through it. I would discourage it but im not totally against it since I've seen them succeed with it.

So a thread about nothing.

Cool.

>>6080727
xd

>>6080714
That's six years, and that guy is either a closeted ace or a ticking time bomb. Hope it's the former.

>>6080681
>>6081249
There is definitely a spectrum for sexuality. There are sexuals with lower sex drives. Sure, there are some people who will think they can handle it and end up not being able to. But it's an exaggeration to say that every single sexual would go off the deep end if they don't have sex with their significant other.

>>6081539
You know how couples in an open relationship talk about "unicorns," which are those mythical attractive single people who are happy to participate in a three-way but have absolutely no needs of their own as far as the relationship goes? Aces should have a word for that mythical race of sexuals who are happy to ignore their own needs indefinitely for the sake of a relationship with an ace.

>>6082547
Did you have a string of failed relationships with sexuals? I know how that goes, since I had one too. But why spread around the bitterness?