Im attracted to children. I feel like q monster. Maybe LGBT isnt the thread for it, but im MTF and bi, so i only frequent here. What do i do? Im 18 and i have had this for a while now, but sometimes i kind of just remember it. Now i cant forget it and its been in my head for a few days eating me up. Maybe its because i was molested as a kid, idk. I just dont know what to do.
Acknowledge it, integrate it, do not act on it. Maybe find a partner who's into roleplay.
People are not monsters for being attracted to children. You don't decide who you're attracted to. People are monsters when they sexually abuse children or coerce someone with no understanding of the repercussions or the power dynamics in play into sex.
>>5897193
I know how you feel.
I have OCD, so I'm constantly having pedophile and beastiality images run through my head. You don't need to feel bad for it, you can't help it. You're only a monster and a bad person if you go out and actually rape a kid.
>>5897193
I'm pretty sure that if you tell a therapist they can put safeguarding actions into place.
>>5897193
Well, for one, you're not so far out of kidhood yourself. But yeh, all the other anons in this thread are right. As long as you're not acting on it, don't worry about it. Fixating on it won't help, trust me.
And if you have a sexual thought about a kid, just accept that you had the thought and let it go. Don't beat yourself up for it. I've definitely had "why the fuck did I just think that" thoughts around horses. So far, haven't actually fucked a horse.
>>5897193
find help you git
>>5897235
Is this kind of behavior associated with OCD? Because this would explain a lot about why I have thoughts like fucking my cousin even thought she doesn't attract me at all, I've just come to the conclusion that I think about that just because my mind knows is wrong (I'm 20 years old and my cousin is 16 years old) and it does it just to Fuck with me. It's the same like when I'm in a tall bouilding and my mind starts to think about jumping from there, eventhough I'm not sad/nostalgic/depressed, etc.
>>5897193
can we please avoid making pedophilia a part of the lgbt
>>5897365
It could be. OCD is a constant stream of images and thoughts of stuff like incest, pedophilia, beastiality, rape, murder/suicide etc. (Obsession) and doing certain actions or rituals (compulsions) to take your mind off the obsessions and relieve anxiety.
The OCD spectrum is pretty big though, and there are also other disorders that are different forms of OCD like trichotillomania. If you think you may have it you should go get diagnosed by a professional.
>>5897365
yes, it most definitely could be. sounds like the definition of "intrusive thoughts," might want to look into that
As long as you don't act on it, you're good.
>>5897193
You could always go to those therapists that basically brainwash you with a bunch of mdma and lsd.
It does work but it's one hell of a an experience and you're still a pedophile technically your mind is just kind of messed to the point you don't act on it.
Op here. Id never ever act on it. I'm a good person and i wouldnt hurt a fly. Its just that only the ideia of being atracted to it is enough to make me wanna suicide. It took so long for me to stop living a lie as a man and open myself to the world as trans, and now i just remembered that i have this curse im not able to tell anyone or they would hate me for it. I feel like im living with the guilt of murder or something. It sucks and i just wanted it to stop, because its not like kids are my ONLY or most important focus, i dont even fantasize about it. Sigh, this sucks.
>>5897567
There are pills who can suppress physical desire, if you want to
Or you can either find a partner who's into roleplaying
Try to avoid placing yourselves in risky situations, that's all
>>5897412
>(Obsession) and doing certain actions or rituals (compulsions) to take your mind off the obsessions and relieve anxiety.
Same anon here.
This is exactly me, I'm pretty I've some form of OCD but I never made the connection between my stupid sexual thoughts of my cousin and this mental desiese, thoughts about pedophilia, bestiality, rape, murder have never crossed my mind though, so that's probably a more severe form of OCD. My ocd is more in the lines of repeating the same word over and over because I'm not sure if I said it right, or locking my door like twenty times just to make sure I did it right, or repeatedly counting the money in my wallet because I always feel I messed something up, and so on.
>>5897469
Will defetively like more into it.
>>5897847
*look more into it.
>>5897208
You know, OP, I was going to call you a monster. But take this anon's advice. This anon just changed my mind.
>>5897208
>People are not monsters for being attracted to children.
yes they are
>>5897567
A similar thing happened to me, OP.
When I was 14 I discovered 4chan and I was an impressionable teenager who hated myself
People would talk about pedophilia on 4chan and convinced me it was okay. Of course now that I'm older I see that it isn't, and I have lived with the guilt you describe, because I still have thoughts about it. I realize the older I get how fucked up it is for people who are over 18 to have had conversations with kids like me trying to convince them it is okay.
Like you I would never hurt a fly-- I've been physically assaulted before and didn't even try to fight back. I am very over paranoid about being perceived as a creep so I am as careful as possible to never do anything to hurt anyone or make anyone even remotely uncomfortable
I've seen footage if you know what I mean, and I the older I get the more I can't get it out of my head
>I feel like im living with the guilt of murder or something. It sucks and i just wanted it to stop, because its not like kids are my ONLY or most important focus, i dont even fantasize about it
>It took so long for me to stop living a lie as a man and open myself to the world as trans, and now i just remembered that i have this curse im not able to tell anyone or they would hate me for it
I know how all of this feels. I'm a bi trans girl as well, been transitioning since age 19 publicly (now 23)
I'm worried that I'm going to just off myself. I feel like a monster. It's at least nice to know I'm not alone in feeling all of this
>>5898598
We'll just have to learn how to live with it i guess, best of luck to you :c
>>5897193
you could always move to saudi arabia - child porn is probably legal there
>>5898598
were you ever sexually abused as a child? it's common for CSA survivors to have some degree of sexual response to the idea without having any desire to act on it in real life. it's just caused by an association in the brain that's formed in childhood, and associations can be unlearned.
>>5897193
>>5897567
>its not like kids are my ONLY or most important focus, i dont even fantasize about it.
It sounds like your issue is more with OCD or something than pedophilia, even if you actually have some attraction to kids, it's really just knowing you have it that's the problem, right?
Although I would avoid bringing it up with a therapist if you live in US >>5897325
Maybe try DIY CBT
