Should I tell my GF that I'm a crossdresser?
I love her and want to stay in a relationship with her, but things are pretty dry in the bedroom and I figure this might gain some sympathy in that regard. As things are now, we're both slowly building contempt for each other and it's pretty depressing.
Any tips?
>>5882515
you guys probably just need to talk more.
and let each other know what's up. there is always a reason for things to dry up. telling her you're crossdressing could go either way. you know her and probably know how she could react to it so that's your decision to make :)
>>5882515
What do you have to lose? Id she's interested it may bring you two closer. If she's repulsed, she'll leave and you can start off fresh with someone else.
>>5882544
That's my mentality at the moment, but I'm so desperately afraid she'd share my secret if we were to break up. Then it's good bye friends and potential future GFs where I live.
>>5882539
this
depending on how long you've been with her she might feel like you've been holding a secret which is likely to make her upset. Generally girls can get upset about it, thinking you might want to transition or that you're a closet fag. but an openminded person would be understanding even if it's a turnoff to them. talking is definetly key. it;s so important to be able to be yourself in a relationship.
I always felt like hiding it but with my current GF i just told her I like to dress up now and then and she actually finds it cute!
tip: don't be like "hey I'm a crossdresser" but more like "hey, i kinda like dressing up now and then" that's way more innocent. also make shure when she sees you crossdress, to mind your appearance, wear something modest like an over the knee long sleeved dress, go for cute rather than sexy (which often turns out disgusting). the first thing that comes to mind for most people is a hairy fat 50y/o in his wifes pink thong and fishnets, showing that you won't be looking like would help gain understandign quite a lot.
>>5882554
most girls aren't that cruel, although they talk about EVERYTHING.
> Then it's good bye friends and potential future GFs where I live
well, only future GFs who you could not be yourself with anyways so who cares about that.
>>5882558
Thanks for the insight.
Do you and your GF ever... do anything with the information? The whole cross dressing thing is a bit of a fetish of mine. Do you dress while you have sex?
>>5882567
>only future GFs who you could not be yourself with anyways
Huh. I guess that's kind of a good point. I'm more worried about losing my friends desu though.
>>5882586
>I'm more worried about losing my friends desu though.
yeah i understand, still that's kind of a tripple what if scenario right. like she'd have to run off, talk to girls, they have to talk to guys and they have to believe her....
and you probably know as much intimate stuff about her.
also those friends, are they really your friends if they'd ditch you for confessing something "weird" to your ex? like I've heard of other friends crosdressing and bdsm stories and such and noone cared, might be quite openminded friends but still. they may crack some jokes at you but if you're either like
>yeah, so what?
or
>yeah you seriously believe that?
it won't be rewarding to them for any amount of time.
>Do you and your GF ever... do anything with the information? The whole cross dressing thing is a bit of a fetish of mine. Do you dress while you have sex?
yep, we're also in a DS relation (whe're both switch, bit I'm more sub and she's more often dom) and sometimes she orders me to wear stuff while doing chores and sometimes i just put on a dress. during sex we mostly wear nothing for convenience sake but during playtime I'm often en femme.
>>5882613
Damn, you situation is pretty much my dream come true. Some huge part of me is like "fuck it, I only get one life and I'm the only authority on how I should enjoy it," I guess I'm just used to having catastrophizing thoughts about the whole thing. Maybe I'll air the idea to her sometime. She's very accepting and sympathetic towards thransgendered people in general.
I just realized something though. I think I'm more afraid of messing up my relationship with her more than anything else. I fear losing her respect. I still want to be that big and strong man in her life for pretty much anything besides sex, and I'm afraid of losing that dynamic with her.
>>5882669
Present it as a thing you like to do only sometimes but you'll be masc all other times
>>5882697
Does that work? Would you mind telling me a bit about your relationship with your GF (assuming you're the anon I responded to)? I just want to explore the idea a bit, and it's hard to do with so many "ifs" and "buts."
>>5882669
I know right, I didn't think it was possible to have both love and my weird side delt with. I just can't describe how it feels to finaly open up to someone IRL for the first time in my life. I had that fear of having to live a lie or die alone!
>>5882730
I'm >>5882613
and not >>5882697
but he's pretty much right. I am quite a manly man in normal life and love cuddling bear-mode, just sometimes i need to escape it all and being a cute little subby girl is the way to do just that. Like most of the time we're a normal couple but evert now and then I don a dress or she'd be like, "you do the dishes right now, and wear that little dress" and I know I get the cane if i disobey :)
At first I felt like I had to compensate by being overly masculine at times but i soon realised she loves me for who i am. she is a special girl though and she kinda knew I'm a switch early on so I doubt someone you got into a normal relationship with will be just as understanding. Then again most girls with some kind of dominant side also seem to see the fun in crossdressing. Despite being a minority, they do exist. Also they have the same problems being forward about it as men, telling someone about your kinks early on may make them think you're only in it for that and telling later on is a huge gamble.
In your situation I'd say, don't live a lie! you don't have to be all "hey I'm a sissy now!" and parade in frilly pink stuff. you can just say you've allways been kinda curious to wearing a dress or something. Even in the wordt case that she's completely turned off by the idea,she won't kick you out for playin dressup now and then if she cares about you even the slightest bit!
>>5883281
Thanks anon. You seem to have it really good, and I feel like I'm cheating myself out of the life I really want. I think I'll try bringing it up in the near future.
Should I let her know gradually by dropping small hints here and there, to get her to warm up to the idea, or should I just pick a moment and drop the "I wear your clothes while you're away"-bomb?
