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Its been my secret for almost a year now.
I think im trans mtf, and i dont know WHO i can ask for help except you guys out there.

I am very very sad and depressed. Since i found out, my life has been terrible..

Cant keep up with school and barely see friends.. So depressed.

I dont know how i can lift myself up. It doesnt seem like i have many choices

Should i come out? Just do it? Do i even have a choice?
I really dont know.. its too much for me.. i barely see friends that are female, my male identity is so "big" or constructed or what you may say. Im a man man. I feel like a man, sometimes.. Honestly i dont know anymore because of this fucking trans thing.

I dont know what to do guys. My life is terrible, people in public areas such as trains and whatever seem to have a hard time going along the flow with me. Its like i dont fit in. I think its me realizing i am trans. But i dont know, its hard to confirm things. Im just nervous and scared as fuck. Is this gender dysphoria??

I have so many questions. Should i really become a woman? Can i really do that? Is that even possible?
My family is probably gonna be supportive and my best friends too. But im nervous still how things are gonna end up, when i tell people im trans. And the future too. I just want to be succelful you know, just like everyone else i guess.

I am curious too whats gonna happen when i come out. I havent seen people for so long because i am scared that people will find out i am trans just by looking at me.

Im really lonely and have been so for a year now.
Anyway
I hope someone can answer my questions.
And also tell me somehow i can lift myself up, i dont wanna be so damn depressed.
I really need to know whats gonna happen with me, what am i going to go thru and etc. Should i get a therapist? I still wanna go to school.. and i need a job too..

:(((((((( help