Was going to send a message to one of my male friends who has a good sense of humour coming out as trans. What do you guys think?
Hey don't repeat to anyone what I am about to say (you're the first to know); I'm transgender. Cool bro? awesome, now I'm gonna go back to doing homework and watching some anime. Message me bby :)
also if you can think of something else to add I am open for changes.
>>5849436
>bby
Do you actually want to fuck him?
>>5849436
are you autistic?
>>5849436
Please lose the "bby"
You make it seem like you don't even care about that stuff.
First thing I learned when coming out to my parents: If you show them that it is important for you, that you've spent time thinking about this stuff, that you show care about your own self (this was a big concern for them: never took care of myself correctly and lived literally like a prehistoric person) and that you present them the situation in a comforting way (I mentionned a lot of time stuff like " I will never change. I will just be myself."), then they are more willing to accept shocking stuff ( because let's face it, you'll never talk about that stuff without the other person being shocked if you know each other for a long time ) than the " lol Im trans ;) xD " approach you want to use. And trust me, it won't turn out good if you make it seem you want to dodge the question.
Also, it shows how much you care about others for willing to reveal information about that kind of revelation, and showing you are ready to talk with them if they have any worries or confusion. Because yes, other people will be the first to worry for you, even more than yourself.
Again, you do what you want, but if you want to be taken seriously about that kind of stuff, and want to avoid harrassment and tease (usually, people above 16 tend to avoid harrassing people who seemingly has a big issue, whatever it may be), then I would suggest the former approach.
And for the love of god, why do you even call your best friend " Baby "?
>>5849436
>tfw my one friend and I would call each other bby and lift weights together. I'm not sure he knew I liked it...
>>5849766
>And for the love of god, why do you even call your best friend " Baby "?
maybe her best friend is literally a small child
>>5849766
I need to finish this letter I'm writing to my parents to explain myself better. I've already come out, but they don't really get it.
Thanks everyone,
I think I will keep it more serious then. The use of bby was because we call each other by that very frequently nothing else.
>>5849699
I talk to my friends online and I say shit like "hey senpai" "bby, are you there?" "You just want to see my boipussy" all the time as a joke and they find it funny. They know i'm not really coming onto them or anything (wish I could though, but fucking friends just ruins everything) and they normally respond with something even more bizzare. I guess it's just down to the sense of humour that the individual has.
>>5851158
Wanna see MY boipussi, anon?
>>5851158
>"You just want to see my boipussy
My friend says the exact same thing. It's freaking weird.
>>5849766
Not OP but I got my friends into the habit by joking with them and calling them things like "bby" "senpai" and shit like that so that they do it in return so that they unintentionally refer to you as a girl even though they know you're trans and you haven't asked them to use female pronouns. They do still call me "dude" and "man" though, but that's what I get for being a stoner I guess :(
>>5851169
I'm sorry that you have to endure that if you hate it. But my friends are all weird as fuck and they genuinly don't care and find it funny. I obviously wouldn't say that to all of my friends. But I only do it with my friends who say shit like "could you put it deeper into my butt next time so that I moan like a bitch" even though they are straight. We just know that we're all joking and just say the most fucked up shit and laugh about it.
>>5851165
Sure bby :)
Op here I'm getting mixed messages now, do I keep it funny or serious. I thought the humor would help ease it in as well as be a tool for me to relax after coming out. But at the same time it could be misleading so I'm still not sure
>>5851185
He's saying it a lot more lately. Like he always wanted to make boipussy comments but decided to test the waters first.
He also admitted to me he wanted to be a girl. Though he's never mentioned it since.
>>5851228
If I was you I would tell them that there is something that you want to tell them. a secret that you have always had and that you feel like you can trust them enough to tell them. Say that they won't expect it (unless you're girly as shit anyways) but it's something you genuinly want to do but you would rather tell them in person. then meet them in person and sit them down somewhere quiet and tell them that you don't like being a boy and that you want to start HRT so that you can feel more like the person you always have been, a girl. but that you will still be the same person they have known for ages and you're not going to change and you will still be you. tell them that if they have any questions, to fire away and then start joking about it to help lighten the mood. That's what I would do (it's pretty much what I do do desu)
The OP letter is a catastrophic spaghetti spillage and every reply so far is along the lines of "how about using slightly less spaghetti?"
If he's your friend, just tell him you're trans. If you're not coming out to everyone, tell him that to. I relate to feeling the need to write these kinds of cringeworthy letters. The way to improve is to practice just communicating, not to make your letters less cringeworthy.
>>5851399
I like the idea of being serious and then going into more humour. also (I am girly as shit anyway)
>>5851626
My friends have short attention spans so if they see a long message they won't bother reading it unless it is continuing on a discussion. Also I feel as if I were to write a long message I would probably make myself even more nervous and may even chicken out. I have done that before. Although I do agree it may not have been the best written work I have made
>>5852397
I don't see why it's so hard to just say
>I have to tell you something, don't tell anyone else please. I'm trans, I've known for a long time, I trust you with this etc etc
>>5851193
It was only jyok breh xD
>>5852430
I think I may do something like that. My first idea was only a draft so I will most likely do something as you say.
>>5852397
Talk. In. Person.
Also your message really comes across as you wanting them to fuck you.
>>5849436
you'll forever be known as the guy with the pederast sense of humor who took their jokes too seriously and now thinks he's a girl..
whether or not they say it they'll always think it's creepy af that u played along with that "bby" stuff
>/lgbt/ doesn't cutesy talk with their friends
/lgbt/ has no friends
>>5854192
>Also your message really comes across as you wanting them to fuck you.
And? Nothing wrong with getting some dick to celebrate coming out.
>>5854441
No indeed but this little 'sperg needs to be warned ahead of time.
is your friend straight? can I give my straight guy opinion here? I will say how I would react reading this
>Hey don't repeat to anyone what I am about to say (you're the first to know); I'm transgender.
w-what???? what. the. fuck. he thinks he's a girl? he was supposed to be a girl? what the hell this is weird, is he going to start wearing wigs or some shit is he gay does that make me gay mybe he's telling me becase he's gay and likes me maybe all that baby shit he secretly likes ew I feel used this is an incredibly shocking news I don't know what to think say or do why does he want to keep it secret why only me? I am just gobsmacked absolutely shocked
>Cool bro? awesome
wait what? what the fuck he says it like he expects me to think it's some cool thing or what? is hesaying he himself is cool and replying that he's awesome? or does he want me to affirm his "cool?" question. like what the fuck he just told me he's trans and now he wants me to tell him he's cool for being trans? or he thinks he's awesome? what the fuck only one sentence ago I learned he's trans and I am still fucking shocked and he wants me to tell him he's cool well fuck I'm not getting over it yet it's only been one fucking sentence he needs to give me time, a LOT of time before his transexuality can be this tiny flippant thing like he's trying to make out it is, it's a big fucking deal, and he's just expecting me to brush it off like it's nothing
>now I'm gonna go back to doing homework and watching some anime.
ok you just lay this bombshell on me and then you fuck off? what the fuck am I supposed to say? uh yeah bro that's rad you're gonna start wearing dresses and want me to cal you caitlyn? I have tonnes of questinos and you're acting like it's the tiny flippant thing, when it's totally not, I'm sure that mutual friend x, and maybe y will not want to associate with you anymore, and that's just a guess you're expecting us all to be cool wih it which is a lot of pressure
>>5854491
>message me bb
WHAT THE FUCK this whole time we were doing this baby shit he was getting off on it wasn't he? probably jacking off over my jokes I thought we were friends and now he fucking likes me I'm not gay for fucks sake this is just wrong I don't want our relationship to be all fucking awkward it's going to be bad enough with you being a freak in a wig and now you want us to still do the PRETEND gay joke that STRAIGHT guys do, BUT YOU"RE GAY or whatever the fuck you are, this relationship has changed drastically wheter you like it or not you can be flippant and act like it's no big deal but it is, and there's no way in hell I can just let it go like it's nothing. all of our friendship history is now under question, all those times you bumped into me, or send cutesy shit as a joke (?) is now suspect maybe this whole fucking time you've wanted to have sex with me and have just been pretending to be straight holy fuck he now wants to be a girl it all makes sense I'm not sure I want to be seen in public with him if he doesn't pass as a girl I know it's mean but I've got a reputation to uphold
>>5854501
6/10 straight guy roleplay
>>5849436
Uhm, not to tell you how to live your life and all, but you should consider if you want to make it so casual. I know you probably don't want it to be awkward afterwards, but the way you present it will greatly influence the way they reply. I know how very easy it is to feel nervous and try to make a joke out of serious things, and I think it's not the way to go. Make the jokes after the dust has settled.
On a side note, you sound like a great person and I love you.
Honestly no disrespect but it's no wonder so many of you guys are so bad at relationships.
You don't need to write a composition to communicate with your friends.
If you try to communicate with your friends via composition you will come across as ungenuine because you are actually not being genuine.
The OP screams 'emotionally stunted autist' and the best you can do by getting the advice of the /lgbt/ writer's guild is to take it down to 'amicable serial killer.'
This kind of analysis:
>>5854501
>>5854491
>>5854414
>>5851399
is not needed and performing it will only make you look immature. You don't need to anticipate your friend's reaction or craft a message that you can imagine him reacting favorably to - not only because you can't, which I say not just because people are unpredictable, but also because you seem to be unaware of how catastrophically your letter fails to paint a picture of a human being trying to come out with something - but also because people are capable of coming up with their own reactions to being told things. Many of them posess the emotional intelligence to understand what you're saying, and some of them (typically the ones we call 'friends') will actually be interested in learning more if there's something they don't understand.
Just tell your friend what you want to tell him. Anything else makes you look pathetic and making a habit of doing the kind of shit you're doing in this thread will damage your relationships.
>>5854659
>The OP screams 'emotionally stunted autist'
That being said her friends are probably well used to that by now.
And are the same.
>>5854659
hey i'm an autist with damaged friendships
i try to make things sound favorable because i'm really afraid of rejection
it's the worst when i actually really care about the person i'm trying to communicate with, i forget how to think and talk
idk i'm pretty much braindead at this point, this other autist guy i love wont talk to me and i feel like i just dont know how to live anymore
please, i don't know how to fucking talk to people please help
>>5854753
>He can't think. He can't write.
le harold bloom face
le dfw hanging from his patio face
that's where i'm at right now
>>5854453
Ah, I see what you mean. Preparation is important.
>>5854753
I'm the same way, which is why I'm trying to impress upon you that, even if it makes you anxious or terrified, and even if you feel like you don't know how, the only thing that's going to work for you is to get yourself together, figure out what you want to say, say it, and let the people you're talking with decide how they feel.
>>5854753
Also, going back and reading what I wrote, or was pretty harsh. That was aimed what you're trying to do, not you. You (and I because you remind me of myself) care much more about this kind of stuff than any of your friends probably do. And nobody's going to actually dislike you because your manner of speech is a bit off. But you will look more mature and be better understood and probably avoid a lot of frustration of you can just calm down and talk to people.
