So I'm a male college student, and I approached a girl several months during class. I introduced myself and tried striking up conversation with her about what we were doing that day, but she looked nervous/uncomfortable x1000, like she wanted to eject from her seat and break through the ceiling. I'm not a basement dweller, or overweight, and I'm average in the looks department, but all the same this hit me right in the ego.
By the end of the interaction I felt awful for making her uncomfortable and just wanted to make my exit, so I asked if I could add her on Facebook, said bye and left (she said yes to the facebook, but I dunno if it was a, "yes," or a, "yes, just go way").
It wasn't until recently that I discovered that she's trans. I was floored when I found out, but after some quick reflection I decided that it didn't change anything for me.
So at first I thought I had blew it or that she wasn't interested (still entirely possible), but since then I've caught her looking at me a few times, and I'm wondering if the discomfort might have been the whole murder/outing/harassment risk that comes with transwomen possibly being clocked by strangers?
If this story seems familiar it's because I posted something similar on /adv/ recently, but except for one or two posts most of the feedback wasn't helpful at all, so I figured I'd have better luck here.
Any thoughts, opinions, stories, etc?
Pic unrelated
>>5844155
now fuck her
>>5844181
That's more of a post-endgame thing. As perverted as it sounds I'm really interested in her as a person.
>>5844155
u should find the girl in the pic and bang her to shes pretty hot
also why would you put that youre trans on ur facebook
i mean... if she's scared of the whole murder/outing/harassment risk thing that seems like a really poor move
>>5844195
she probably didnt, he probably found out by accident
by seeing her dick
op is a psychopath who wants to make sure whether his ego was damaged or not
>>5844207
w-was it feminine, op?
go for it senpai.
give her plenty of time to get comfortable.
>>5844214
Totes not a psychopath.
>>5844220
you found two facebooks?
>>5844230
Nah, google search brought up a government site that certificate of name change. She has a VERY unique name, and the previous name pops up elsewhere in contexts which link them together.
Also I know how creepy that sounds, I was just curious and wanted to know more about her.
>>5844237
wow, that does sound very creepy, but uh... you do you man, good luck
>>5844237
psychopath
>>5844192
>That's more of a post-endgame thing. As perverted as it sounds I'm really interested in her as a person.
>I'm really interested in her as a person.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KZEhy4lW2pY
>>5844243
It wasn't extensive research or anything, it was like five minutes of browsing.
>>5844248
Shit it's /adv/ all over again.
>>5844251
what were you browsing for?~
her past jobs?
place of residence?
family photos?
online nicknames?
bank checks?
>>5844237
what's her name?
>>5844247
:( but these feels
I made the effort to talk to her first, I was/am planning on talking to her again and I wanted to see if I could get any date ideas.
>>5844260
Barack Obama
>>5844258
Nope, just googled her name to see what would pop up, I'm not in the habit of doxxing people.
>>5844276
holy shit what name is that
>>5844276
IIRC trans people aren't ashamed of being trans, but at the same time they're not going to be broadcasting it either, sooooo I'd rather not out her on the internet.
>>5844195
also the girls in the pic's name is clutter_butt on reddit, she has some good albums on gonewild, I figured I should use a FSW one for this thread.
>>5844254
Never been to /adv/ but when a legbutt calls you a faggot, then you be gay for the boipussy.
>>5844302
thx senpai
>>5844314
legbutt? I've previously given it serious thought, and I should mention my sister's gay and I live in probably one of the most accepting places in North America, so I feel safe concluding that I'm straight.
As a straight male i've wondered about that myself. Honestly OP I say go for it. Be her friend, see if she is a good person. I don't think I can personally transcend the need for certain sexual characteristics in my partners, but I can be a damn good friend to anyone I meet. And you can too.
>>5844333
change nothing about your attitude toward her despite your knowledge. don't tell her you know she's trans, just feign apathy after you do the discomfort dance.
that way it'd be a normal relationship up until the point where she discloses, then after you brush it off and continue providing that relationship, it can grow or taper off normally.
>>5844333
>legbutt?
/lgbt/. El. Gee. Bee. Tea. Legbutts.
>I've previously given it serious thought, and I should mention my sister's gay and I live in probably one of the most accepting places in North America, so I feel safe concluding that I'm straight.
I'm just trolling you. And I'm glad you are referring to her as 'her'. :-)
>>5844363
Thanks, yeah I've also been considering that, and I think it's something I can acclimatize to, but ultimately that would be a discussion for later on.
>>5844370
Ah okay :)
I think a large part of the stigma guys tend to have is not understanding that it's a character creation glitch. No reason the way I feel about her should change, she's the exact the same person I thought she was to begin with.
What evidence do you have that she even wants you to talk to her more? Was the chat more you talking and her listening/politely commenting on what you are talking about? Did she bring up any of her own topics?
You say she looked like she wished she was anywhere but talking to you, why stalk her and try and harass her more?
>>5844155
>I'm wondering if the discomfort might have been the whole murder/outing/harassment risk that comes with transwomen possibly being clocked by strangers?
If she's passable, which seems likely given your comment saying you were floored when you found out and that she's college age and already has had the legal name change end sorted, its probably not that. I mean unless she literally freaks out that hard whenever anyone talks to her at all. Which would be really weird. Most passable trans girls aren't going to be constantly visibly afraid of being clocked, the weird nervousness makes you less passable.
It was probably some myriad of other reasons a girl might be uncomfortable talking to you that are completely unrelated to your looks. She just got out of a bad relationship, had a shitty day and just doesn't want to talk, etc.
IDK, at this point maybe try once more talking to her but if she again isn't interested she probably just isn't interested. It's not some strange sign that she's into you but is just super scared of being clocked.
>>5844432
Outlined that in the OP. Not stalking, and talking to someone once doesn't seem like harassment.
>>5844452
Well now that I look back I had sensed a few things but didn't know what I was seeing at the time. Necks thicker than usual, slightly wider than normal shoulders, deeper voice, etc. She definitely passes though.
>It was probably some myriad of other reasons a girl might be uncomfortable talking to you that are completely unrelated to your looks. She just got out of a bad relationship, had a shitty day and just doesn't want to talk, etc.
>IDK, at this point maybe try once more talking to her but if she again isn't interested she probably just isn't interested. It's not some strange sign that she's into you but is just super scared of being clocked.
Thanks for the input, yeah I want to give it another try to see if goes better. If it doesn't I'll suck it up and move on.
>>5844476
>Well now that I look back I had sensed a few things but didn't know what I was seeing at the time. Necks thicker than usual, slightly wider than normal shoulders, deeper voice, etc. She definitely passes though.
yeah that's normal, there's always a bunch of physical stuff for trans girls that you look at after you know shes trans and realize why but are close enough to the norm that if you didn't know she was trans you wouldn't notice
>Thanks for the input, yeah I want to give it another try to see if goes better. If it doesn't I'll suck it up and move on.
Well good luck! Just don't get your hopes up too much is all, just because she's trans doesn't really change that much about the signals she sends and all. That said it is a pretty common fallacy in this kind of thing to assume it is because of you that she was upset, letting your ego get destroyed and all, but it's easily just as likely some random thing happened totally unrelated to you to make her react that way. I'm sure you can think of a time you've been angry or grumpy and reacted negatively to some completely unrelated thing from a completely unrelated person.
That got a bit rambly, its late... but yeah seriously good luck man! i hope like romance and love and shit happens and gay stuff like that lmao
>>5844452
>I mean unless she literally freaks out that hard whenever anyone talks to her at all.
Eh, could be she sense when a guy likes her and THAT makes her uncomfortable because eventually she’d have to disclose the truth.
>>5844155
Maybe she likes you and just doesn't know how to talk to someone she likes, at least in girl mode. Maybe because she had been uncomfortable with herself for so long, she's used to not forming relationships and only looking at the people she likes from afar, so that's more comfortable for her. I'm that sort of MtF autist, so I would know.
>>5844155
She probably thought you had clocked her. At this stage she's probably not sure if you're a chair or you're disgusted by her.
But you seem like a nice guy, so just smile and say hi when you see her. Strike up casual conversations. Don't message her until after a few. Speaking from experience I'm much more comfortable if someone has spoke to me irl a few times.
Good luck.
>>5844779
Chaser not a chair.
>>5844155
>>5844237
use the information about her old male life to get the indefinite access to her boypussy through the old-fashioned classy art of blackmail
wtf is up with all the creepy autists chasing boipucci? just came from that trainwreck of a thread where op told a girl he just jacks it to shemales and doesn't understand what's wrong with that... and now this stalker?
>>5844155
So let me get this straight : you thought you had no chances when she was a cis girl in your mind, but now that you know she's trans you think that suddently makes her more sexually promiscuous? Or maybe you think that "obviouly" she can't find partners easily since she's trans and you being one of the rare guys interested, that mathematically increases your chances to get her?
That's serious arrogance and transphobic prejudice here. You better stay off for her own sake.
>>5845749
Don't forget to mention that he's a creepy stalker.
Fucking chasers baka
>>5845749
>but now that you know she's trans you think that suddently makes her more sexually promiscuous?
It's the opposite, faggot. He thinks that because she's trans she's not used getting attention from guys and that she was being an awkward turtle because of that rather than OP's creepiness.
>>5844155
>I've caught her looking at me a few times
Like a prey keeps an eye on it's predator. She knows you want her, but like any creeped out girl she's stressed at the prospect of any other unconfortable encounter. I hope you're happy being the stain on her college life.
Just pretend you dont know because she is a "normal girl"
And when she realize you know, pretend you dont care about it because she is a normal girl
She acted strange because she was scared you knew and you were going to make fun of her
>>5845638
I can see why the word psychopath gets tossed around here. Also OP here
>>5845638
holy shit now i want to find a tranny just to do that
not even a chaser I just never blackmailed anyone
>>5845741
Not stalking.
>>5845866
wow a real psychopath
>>5845760
So because I'm googled a girl I'm interested in once I'm a stalker, and because she happens to be trans I'm a chaser? Hokay.
>>5845876
and the best thing is that I am closeted femboy/mtf so outside of blackmail I'd know all sorts of hurtful things to say and do, and would be able too see through her bs far better then oblivious cis male ever could
holy shit im getting so excited just thinking about it
>>5845887
i'm all in favor of cruelty but i think it's better when the person deserves it
so picking a random mtf off the street, she doesn't deserve that
save your poisonous emotions for people who really fuck up
>>5845906
street?
nonono I'd go to a dating site
get to know her
save pictures of her
meet irl
get to know her friends too
best if shes passing but not completely..
then blackmail her and force her to do all sort of shit
all sort of shit
oh god this is great
>>5845777
Not so much awkward as cautious/afraid, because trans people have a tendency to receive a lot of hate from ignorant people, and transwomen especially get murdered a lot. In OP I said it could just as easily be that she's not interested, but if there is a chance then I want to be able to let her get to know me, so she knows I'm not a transphobe or an asshole who will tell everyone who will listen.
>>5845924
>so she knows I'm not a transphobe or an asshole who will tell everyone who will listen.
that's
a
BLACKMAIL
>>5845913
"off the street" is an expression, implying that however you choose the girl to victimize, your choice is ultimately random and i think people should deserve the cruelty they get or it's wasted
my heart is only so black, anon
>>5845943
fucking moralizing bastard
>>5845944
i just prefer to hurt people who earn it
>>5844456
Talking with her once is fine. The creepy part is when, after she has given clear signs of discomfort, you try and push her into accepting your facebook. Then, ego bruised by a potential rejection, search them to find more info about them than they gave you willingly.
I'm curious if this works out for you, but your persistence in the face of resistance is creepy as fuck yes.
>>5846360
i'm not OP, i'm just saying that you shouldn't be mean to random people for the sake of cruelty
>>5846384
me: "I'm pure I chose my victims at random"
you: "Nooo you need to chose your victims carefully"
>>5846390
i don't know what you're implying but i don't go around looking for people to blackmail or emotionally torment, sometimes people just need a more thorough telling-off
>>5846340
I would take anything you say seriously, but you're obviously trolling and purposely skewing everything I've said, so I'm satisfied concluding you're another forever-alone trying to fill their emotional void on 4chan.
>>5846486
How did I skew anything? This is literally what you have done. I acknowledged that this could work out for you, but with the information you have given us it doesn't seem like she's into it.
>You guys aren't telling me what I want to hear
>Better call them forever alone trolls, that'll show them
>>5846513
I googled someone once, and taking another shot at talking to her, after which I said I'd back off if she's still seems disinterested. I've been pretty full disclosure here and you're being a dick for the sake of being a dick.
>>5845829
The radical feminists have arrived.
>>5846513
>You guys aren't telling me what I want to hear
If you had actually read through the thread then you would know I've received plenty of constructive feedback. Try harder.
trans here, she probably is not approached often, and feels insecure and shy and awkward when it happens.
has happpened to me and i felt and reacted similarly (nervous, shy, kinda froze)
hit on her some more, smile alot, touch her passingly, make her feel comfortable around you! if you catch her looking at you then she is attracted to you, and wants you to hit her up
>>5844155
I'm not going to sift through all the autism that I'm sure permeates this thread, but I will give you advice.
I'm a socially adjusted and passing transgirl with a pretty normal dating life, and I when I meet a meet someone IRL who shows interest in me my biggest concern is informing them that I am trans (assuming I like them, if I don't then whatevs they can fuck off). A lot of trannies get super duper awkward about this, even I've spilt my spaghetti a couple of times.
The fact that she shared her FB, which apparently outs her, means that she now knows that you probably know, but she can't be 100% sure about this.
>what should I do though?
You should treat her like any other cute girl in your class who interests you. Sit by her again sometime and make small talk. I don't do social media, so I don't know what you kids do these days on the facebooks, but if appropriate under any other circumstance, mention something about her facebook page that you also enjoy or thought was cool. Like,
>oh hey I say that you went to ____
>I've always wanted to go to ____
Or
>I saw on your page that you're a fan of ____
>I've loved ____ for ages, what got you into ____?
Capisce?
In all honesty, just charm her like you would any other girl, and DON'T mention the trans thing until she does. When she does bring it up, just tell her what you told us (that you had no idea, but are open minded so whatevs). Treating her like this will make her feel desired in a way that is validating for her. If you bring up the trans thing on your accord it not only forces an issue upon her that is incredibly personal and sensitive at a time when she might not be prepared to talk about it, but you also run the risk of coming off as some creep who fetishizes her just for her dick.
>>5846616
>The fact that she shared her FB, which apparently outs her
doesn't, he stalked her in national name register
>>5844155
Why are you asking this here? Do you like being judged harshly by retards?
>>5850413
>mad op bumping his dead shitthread
>>5850483
So have you actually done anything since, or are you just waiting with your dick in your hand?
>>5844155
You just need to prove to her that you are chill. You should message her on facebook and ask her what's going. Just try to facilitate a simple conversation, next time you see her say "hi" and give a little wave / smile but don't overdo the interaction. If she goes for the text chat and your friendliness is received well enough times you can try starting a conversation IRL, she probably will be calm enough to participate by then. It sounds to me like she just doesn't know what your intentions are/ might have some anxiety problems.
>>5844302
>FSW
for safe work?
>>5850919
+ I hate when random people just talk to me. I don't trust anyone to be chill because I find it hard explaining myself to others/ I do things very differently than most people I have met. Maybe it's trans special snowflake syndrome or some shit, but in my experience people have not been very receptive to my personality and preferences, although I am chill. I have close friends who I get along with very well but it took several years to find them all.
>>5844155
>Adding on Facebook before fucking/relationship
Don't ever do this again
It won't completely fuck your chances but it never helps
>>5846616
>who fertilizes her just for her dick
is what I read
>>5845829
you're so over dramatic christ
>>5853747
why so
>>5846529
googling someone is pretty weird to begin with desu what kind of things were you hoping to find on google except her personal information? why not just look for her facebook if you want to know things about her personality?
>>5854236
What's wrong with wanting to know more about someone? Back in the day you'd know way more about ANY person in your community, let alone a romantic prospect, than you can find out now by Jewgling.
>>5854508
what day?
day of caveman?
>>5854234
Women and persnickety gays use Facebook do their "homework" on people they've met. I'm not bashing social media as a whole like others often do, because it's cool to keep up with old colleagues, but it's like antimatter when it comes to sex and relationships.
It stifles the natural attraction factor by formalizing and sterilizing your acquaintances. It makes you a "safe" and easily knowable person to them, which is the opposite of sexy. It's like you're literally registering for the friend zone when you friend someone on Facebook
But like I said, it's not a complete death sentence, but it's wholly unnecessary. I used to do that shit all the time in college before realizing that not once did it actually -contribute- to a lay more than hindering it. 90% of the time, I'd either already hooked up with them or it never happened. If they're into you, they're into you.
>>5854513
Yeah you know back when society was good.
>>5855617
Are you going to do something, or are you just a faggot?
>>5855659
I'm working on it, haven't had any classes with her this week, so I have to wait until Monday.
