What keeps you going, /mtfg/?
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1st for hoping adri and her gfs to stop anon posting
>>5809628
How ironic
>>5809618
>What keeps you going, /mtfg/?
A series of shallow sensory experiences
>>5809633
Drugs?
>>5809618
too scared to live
too scared to die
>>5809634
Bingo.
Needs more insecure qts
Awoo keeps me going
>>5809628
Thats what you get for being a bully
Muh hopes and dreams.
>>5809618
>What keeps you going, /mtfg/?
the hope that someday I will find someone like her again
>>5809646
did someone say awoo?
http://i.4cdn.org/wsg/1456731124068.webm
The fear of what comes after death mostly. Other then that, absolutely nothing.
>>5809628
Everything about you is fake, and if someone calls you out you whine and say they're mean or defend yourself anon
You're not hot shit like you wish you were, you're a loser that puts too much effort in your internet reputation
>What keeps you going, /mtfg/?
I always think, I lived 19 years as a guy, why would I kill myself now that I'm a passable girl and so much happier? I worked too hard on my body to let it end up in a grave.
>>5809635
Suicide music
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YZcOSvNh2-k
>i really don't want to look stupid when i'm sleeping, i never really liked sunny days, black wings just reach out to me
>i've always been afraid to die, but i think i'm more afraid to live
>>5809655
It gets me through the rough patches. A more realistic answer is probably the hope that I'll actually finally be a complete person someday.
Pressing the reset button on your life midway through your formative years kind of throws your development as a person back several years, in very literal terms I've only really had the same amount of time to develop as a 17 year old.
unrealistic goals, hope for a better future, scientific discovery, internet friends and marijuana t b h
>What keeps you going, /mtfg/?
Excessive masturbation.
hoi y'all
>>5809618
sex drugs and being loved
>>5809632
>came in from being out
>sitting on the third floor of my house
>watching big screen
>partner messages me about making ski hats to match our new north face jackets we bought to go to my families cabin on the mountain
>tell her to bring her swimsuit because it has a hottub
>make reservation for owners restaurant at the summit, they give you slippers to walk around in
>retired at 30
>not fat
>perfectly healthy
>have friends
I may have deleted something because I didn't realize what I said, but I really don't give enough fucks about people who aren't a part of my life to try and anon bash them. If I'm going to hurt someone, I'll hurt them to their face.
>>5809646
yes jormy, see you next week when you're all bored enough to shit post about it again
>>5809673
iktf...
cute boy interested in me, doesn't know I'm trans. what do I do
>>5809673
Iktf, that thought keeps me going too (maybe more or less happy in that sense)
Hard to go on when you temporarily stop believing that though
>>5809689
Assume. Fact is most guys don't want anything to do with us, but we get lucky some times. I say hope for the best and try your luck at it. You are going to have to tell him eventually though.
Too low to find my way, too high to wonder why.
>>5809682
Get down off your high horse you're more masculine and frat boy than most of the trips you dis
>>5809682
What a masculine attitude
>>5809718
>19 but almost 20
Hey me too! : D
;_;
how do i start liking anal?
>>5809724
toys
>>5809710
it's not a competition tho, but I am masculine, I lead troops in battle, I've had an explosion go off right near me, and continued a conversation with people as they sat there jittery and wild eyed. I don't think most guys are more masculine then me.
>>5809726
I mean toys hurt and i dont really like fingering myself but ive been fingered before and it was p nice
>>5809726
red youre hot as fuck.
im being serious, just a lil confidence boost for ya
i wish I were as cute!
>>5809715
http://newsfeed.time.com/2013/08/26/chopping-wood-a-manlier-feel-than-sports/
at least I never did manual labor tho
>>5809645
i'm insecure but ugly!
>>5809731
you have to work your way up to bigger stuff, get something really small to start to stretch yourself out. and then if you're horny just kind make sure you're clean and have lube and experiment.
it's uhm..... pretty good
>>5809673
>the hope that I'll actually finally be a complete person someday
I know that feel
Until then my girlfriend's been keeping me afloat
>>5809724
Train your body by fingering or toying yourself while also playing with your more erogenous zones. Also gotta continue to play with it frequently or it'll become painful again. Use lube, always.
>>5809731
you can also always get a perineal massage before trying it
That shit...is beyond good feeling and is good prep
>>5809694
It's been pretty easy to stop believing along the way, that's when the drugs get pulled out and the wheels of progress spin in place for a little while.
The only direction is forward though, even just living life is enough to accumulate that valuable experience and to keep piecing together that identity.
I think what feels the hardest is the expectations of someone who's 24, and being in the position of having to make some very hard decisions about your life, and future, and just plain not feeling ready or sure of anything. Sure, the situation is better than a few years back, but I do just plain feel and act like I'm in my late teens still. Embracing that feels great, but it's not an option anymore.
>>5809738
I can work with it.
>>5809753
What expectations are you referring to?
>>5809753
Expectations? Just take more drugs and meme post
>>5809689
My experience has been that people care a lot less about genitals than they let on. I've been with straight guys and lesbian women and they all enjoyed themselves. If he thinks you're attractive it probably doesn't matter that much, but you will have to tell him at some point anyway.
>>5809618
>What keeps you going
Curiosity.
The possibility that something fun might happen.
This year has been a bit of a bore though.
>>5809753
Fuck that's way too similar. 23 tho. I literally thought to myself today that I feel like I think others do when they're 18-19. There's a period in my teens/early 20s where I feel I kinda stalled mentally and only really started chugging forward when I accepted myself and started working torwards it. Gave me something I actually cared about.
And yet sometimes I still have periods where I stall a bit. Been working through some frustrating stuff that I HAVE to get done that may actually give me a good boost torward my goals and I'm forcing myself through it but I very recently stalled on it and spent quite a few days in a row being baked the whole day and just escaping it.
>>5809770
The expectation that I have a plan, that I have emotional maturity, and that I don't feel like I want to do something different with my life every day. Basically, the expectation that I grow up. I need to do it, and am in the process of doing it, but I feel severely unprepared for it, even compared to people years younger than me. I'm 24, but I sure don't feel like it.
https://vimeo.com/144453651
>talks about not knowing about what trans is
>talks about trying to cut off genitals as a child
fuck I just had a flashback of pushing my entire penis inside at 2 and my mom screaming
>>5809795
looking great hon!
>>5809794
oh yeah, that would be tough
But there's no need to rush, take it at your own pace. You're still in school
>>5809794
Ur gonna be fine. I was still a drug-addled mess at ur age and I still hadn't transitioned. Now that I'm in my late 20s all my friends are getting married and shit but idk I finally feel kind of like a grown up
>>5809808
unpassing hon
Coming down on a 3-FPM binge
What is life
>>5809810
Thanks for ur input dude
>>5809812
life is but a burning sensation in your eyes
>>5809815
Go to sleep
>>5809790
I decided to do some reading around on these feelings a while back, it's honestly not uncommon to feel this way if you're trans. When you think about it, your development started branching the wrong direction at some point (ie. towards a male life), and left your sense of self entirely undeveloped down that other possible path of development. After accepting yourself and transitioning, maybe a few things make it across the jump from one path to the other, but you're basically rolling back the clock to the point where that split happened and starting fresh.
It takes time to develop as a person, your formative years don't happen overnight. Stalling for a bit doesn't hurt too bad either, but it's pretty important not to let it turn into a rut.
>>5809803
I'm dropping out in April ;_;
>>5809808
Thanks maddie ;_;
Idk, I know I'll be fine in time, and I'm way way better than I used to be, but it's an ongoing thing. You really do seem to have your life in order though, I mean hell, you're a PhD student ;_;
>>5809821
>I'm dropping out in April ;_;
What's your game plan? If you don't already have a career path planned out stay in school, otherwise you're just a dumbass.
>>5809821
What?
Why are you dropping out?
ahhh fuck I accidentally put in the wrong address for my forever21 order...
I want those babydoll dresses.... ><
>>5809833
those are too cute for a femboy x.x
>>5809825
School is overrated. I dropped out of college when I was 19 and still managed to net several five figure salary jobs in the following years. I would recommend having a plan regardless but life is wild. Do whatever you want.
>>5809825
Game plan is to put my chemistry degree to work and do some lab work. I think I've recovered enough from the post-degree burnout to do chemistry again, and who knows, maybe I'll enjoy it more than an academic research lab. While working, I can continue working on my portfolio of programming projects, and after I've saved enough money I'd like to pursue a masters in CS.
I'm wasting my time and money at that trade school, I have not learned much of anything all year. I need a challenge, it's not giving it to me, so a masters is probably a better fit.
>>5809831
See above, I could be doing something more meaningful with my time.
>>5809838
>School is overrated
I know, I dropped out of high school and I have a pretty nice job now. It's still not a good idea to make decisions like that without having something already planned out.
>>5809835
Fuck off
Heyo /mtfg/, won 25$ at the casino with some pretrans friends~
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W0kCDFxODx4
Hope y'all made America great again today.
>>5809842
be nice
>>5809840
That's fair enough I guess
Good luck
>>5809833
You're so lucky to be young and pretty enough to shop at f21. Whenever I pass that store when shopping it just upsets me. Mainly because I look like a boy and couldnt ever shop there without getting looks.
>>5809820
Do you ever get on skype?
>>5809842
be nice to Faye!
>>5809618
>What keeps you going, /mtfg/?
I've been doing pretty well these past few months in comparison to recent years prior; I think it's been a combination of spending more time with friends, finally making some reasonable progress on my dissertation research, and probably most importantly actually taking all of my meds consistently.
Ehehe... I just met another amazing reason to keep going, though... I'm not going to say any more out of respect for her privacy, but I've been feeling super happy and energetic since meeting her. :)
I bought some shorts at forever 21 like a year ago and they are pretty poor quality. The price is right but I don't know if I'd ever shop there again for longevity at least.
>>5809821
I think I have kind of fallen into a rut a few times but I've managed to climb out of it each time, I've always been really bad about digging holes for myself but oddly skilled at getting out of them.
And actually I dropped out of college myself a year and a half ago. That was actually the closest time that I ever came to transitioning before when I actually did it. Ended up trying to reject it again and became a trucker for almost a year before leaving that to transition lol. But if I had stayed in school I feel like it would have been much less likely for me to be ever transition.
I felt awful for my school failures for a while but now I think it was def best that I did leave. Allowed me to focus more on actually devrloping myself, which I was NOT doing for myself there. I hope you'll feel better about it later too.
>>5809863
uniqlo is better, but you can get good looks for the season at F21
>>5809863
personally I prefer H&M
It's my favorite shop to go to in the mall
all my dates love going there too! I love when they pick clothes for me
>>5809866
>ywn buy red clothes and have her try them on
>>5809870
>tfw Red lives close to me so I could totally do this but I wont
>>5809875
where lmao
i'd love to go on a date with a qt
>>5809866
Man, it's been forever since I've been shopping with anyone. I wish I could have a good mall day with girlfriends like I used to be able to. Being poor sucks!
>>5809855
No i dont, it opens when i restart my dt but i have week+ uptimes
Yell at me on discord and i will skype with u
>>5809878
I assume you still live in the DFW area and so do I.
>>5809884
yup~!
wanna skype?
>>5809883
Well I can't but I sent you a bunch of messages on skype and I'm not sure if you ever saw.
>>5809864
It's hard as fuck to stay in school and actually do well when you're dealing with repression, it's definitely not something to be ashamed of. In the year leading up to when I transitioned I basically fell from being a straight A+ student to being kicked out of my program, and threatened with suspension if I couldn't get my grades up. Pretty direct cause and effect relationship too, after transitioning I started doing great again, and graduated with excellent grades from a chemistry specialization program.
I'm glad you finally managed to accept it though. No regrets, it sounds like leaving school pushed your life in the right direction.
>>5809851
Thanks ^^
>>5809890
Havent seen nuthin, skype is a pos
Whats good
>>5809886
N-No. Or I might be tempted to go against what I said about not buying you clothes to wear. And clothes for myself.
>>5809892
How the hell did you manage to keep your grades up so high while dealing with dysphoria? I'm stuck on Cs or Bs at best.
>>5809898
awwweee but I'm cute~!
I would do anything for stuff that's cute and you picked out for me~
>>5809895
what's the discord link?
>>5809904
S-Stop pls. You're too cute and optimistic and I'm too boy and cynical to ever live up to any kind of expectations.
Hey, I'm not super sure if this is the right thread exactly, but I've got a question.
I think I fetishize, both sexually and generally, the idea of myself somehow just magically being a girl. It seems like despite it's flaws, it'd be pretty rad.
I don't feel like I /should/ be a girl, or that I was born that way or whatever, just that (as incorrect as this would probably be in reality) it would be pretty great to be a girl.
Does this mean I have gender-whateverthefuck and have to start posting on tumblr, or am I just a normie looking through rose tinted glasses at the opposite sex?
>>5809899
I was one of those students that never did assignments, never studied, barely paid attention, and still somehow pulled off >90% on almost every exam. I got shielded from the worst of dysphoria by the people that I met in theatre as well, they were great friends and seemed ok with me acting however felt natural. I'm guessing my grades dropped as much as they did because suddenly I had to start caring, and I realized that I was too depressed to do that.
>>5809915
only your doctor can tell
>>5809921
>tfw you chose to be in band instead of doing something cool and fun like art or drama
Not to mention that band kids are some of the worst humans to ever be bred.
>>5809911
https://discord.gg/0ix1Gx0ArhW2pp6E
>>5809925
I would have killed to learn an instrument in school instead of whatever the fuck I did instead, which was usually nothing.
>>5809922
Seriously? I mean, thanks for the reply Anon, but do you really mean that? Sounds like a whole lot of hassle just to be told yes or no.
>>5809934
Generally speaking, fetishists don't usually think about this stuff enough to bother asking for clarification.
>>5809921
Hahaha wow, I went to a small high school and was known as the guy who slept through all his classes, never took notes, and never did his homework but aced the tests.
Unfortunately in college many of my courses were primarily homework and essay grades...
>>5809914
awwwee
but I love meeting new people! I'm really chill and don't really have expectations! I always stay safe too!
>>5809931
>tfw didnt play sports
>got linebacker shoulders anyway
>>5809921
I'm like you except I tend to get around ~60 mostly
What's your secret
>>5809914
>postin saya again
you're makin me sad anon
>>5809925
Band wasn't that bad though, never did it in high school, but I was a huge band geek in junior high. I'll admit that the people that I met through band were very very different personalities than the ones I knew in theatre, true honest to goodness overachievers ;~;
>>5809938
That sounds familiar, except with labs. Plus, attendance really starts to matter a lot when you can't bullshit your way through the material, and for most of that year I barely left my dorm except to eat, buy drugs, go to raves, and get stoned with friends.
>>5809950
People have told me that I'm a good bullshitter. That's probably the most accurate answer.
>>5809945
Why must you be so cute and nice. You're tempting me to say yes.. I can feel Faye staring angrily at me rn.
>>5809951
Saya a cute. A CUTE.
It's super late but I can't sleep. I'm supposed to be entering this writing contest at my college to win a cash prize/scholarship. At the risk of sounding full of myself I think I have a chance of winning if I can come up with something on time. Stressing out over what to do though. Just posting this to relieve some anxiety I guess.
>>5809937
I'm a pretty thoughtful guy.
>>5809958
Overachievers is putting it nicely. I'll stick with stuck up cunts who think they're better than you and will throw you under the bus with ease given the chance. Doesnt quite roll off the tongue as easy. Drama students always seemed more chill and open minded. Hell I think playing football would have been better than joining band in retrospect.
>>5809959
b-but shes my avatar
>>5809958
I thought I was a good bullshitter but I guess not
Guess I'll just go back to being mediocre then
>>5809970
I bet you like it when I post her. Oh I know you do. Post her just like THIS.
>didnt really study for my history test
>pretty sure I did well on it
>still cant finish my damn English paper though
College sucks but I want a decent career. I think the stress has been giving me a sick stomach.
>>5809959
I don't believe in jealousy! Anyways, Faye's just a friend I added recently!
Come on~
>>5809961
is trans stuff still an instant win?
>>5809958
I flunked a couple courses for attendance. Too busy getting drunk or stoned with friends. Pretty much the only thing I enjoyed other than vidya(which I used to play waaay too much of)
I don't even have any of those friends anymore, pretty much the only thing we had in common was a love for getting fucked up and there's always someone else they can get fucked up with.
Torwards the end I was showing up to classes stoned. Funnily I had to take a programming final with my professor in his office because it conflicted with another final and I showed up really high and got the best score out of the whole(auditorium size) class.
>>5809975
iktf
but I'm in High-School
Really stressful but I need to stay in school to get to college
>>5809974
n-no please dont keep posting her, i definitely dont like it
Post music
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hMWEwXilWhA
I've been loving stuff like this lately
>>5809983
As someone who completely wasted high-school, trust me, change your habits. I skated by, didn't bother getting involved in anything, barely had any friends in my last year. Previous years I had no friends. Turn it around while you still can before you end up like me with regret.
>>5809969
>will throw you under the bus with ease given the chance
>tfw I was about to defend my junior high friends
>tfw remembered that they were very quick to spread rumors and distance themselves from me once I got a reputation for being a drug user
>tfw they pretty much entirely cut me out of their lives without another word after I came out and started transitioning
I mean, your wording is harsh...but in retrospect it's kind of accurate. Drama students were definitely a lot more chill, I'm still friends with some of the people I met there.
>>5809972
Hey now, it's a skill that's not too difficult to learn. Just have a vague understanding of the course material, learn how to infer meanings of words from the prefixes and base words they're constructed from, and most importantly, know how to structure an essay.
>>5809986
I can't build up the motivation to do so
I feel no incentive to do any work at all and when I get home, I just want to laze around so I get no homework done
I'm pathetic aren't I?
>>5809989
>Drug user
I mean, I'd probably do it too man. Drugs are spooky to the uninitiated.
>>5809977
U-Uh.. I mean I can see myself crushing on you very easily so I'm going to stick with hiding away. Yes good idea.
>>5809981
Eep.
>>5809985
I know you like it. Confess!
>>5809989
>structure an essay
yeah, I reckon that is my worst skill for tests
Multiple choice questions or short answers I usually do very well on.
It's a skill I gotta learn, my essays usually just turn out into a splurge of whatever relevant information pops into my head. I also need to get down grammar, sometimes I write sentences that would work better as paragraphs
How many people live in Portland here?
Someone give me hrt
Send help
>>5809997
lol I remember all the drug free shit in school growing up. I used to think drugs were bad probably as much as anyone else. Now I've used quite a decent variety of them and am very glad I have.
>>5810005
I used to live in Portland....Texas
>>5809992
Nah, you're just like me. I only think I'm pathetic when I'm feeling really depressed. Depression thoughts are never true.
>I can't build up the motivation to do so
Here's a little motivation:
If you don't make improvements, you might end up a NEET, or worse, a wageslave. Take it from me, working full time as a wageslave is terrible. It was so bad I decided I wanted to go back to college even though I hate school.
Wouldn't it feel good to turn something in for once? I'm sure you've felt that feeling before, it's nice, isn't it?
Wouldn't you love to go into a test with some confidence instead of dreading it and then worrying about the days after because you know you're just going to get an F and feel ashamed?
Do you have any career you'd like to do in the future?
>I feel no incentive to do any work at all and when I get home, I just want to laze around so I get no homework done
You really are young me. I bet you focus and work better at school, dont you? Do you have any free time like a study hall to work on things? Maybe you could spend an hour after school in the library just knocking your homework out. You can go home and laze about the rest of the night without worry because everything is done already.
Try leaving your room. Go to your living room or something and work there. I seem to be doing my best when I go upstairs and use the family Mac. There's no games on there and my family is around so I can't distract myself with my usual web browing habits. Something about being outside of my room just helps too.
>I'm pathetic aren't I?
You're not pathetic, you're just struggling. Everyone does in their own way. You're no different.
>>5809997
Thing is, that reputation came from me talking to one of them in confidence about some stuff. Suddenly, fucking ALL of them knew, and they weren't shy about letting me know how they felt about it. Being trans was the last straw I guess, I havn't seen any of them for 6 years, and it was pretty sudden that they just stopped talking to me or inviting me to stuff.
>>5809982
Had a few friends that shared an interest in getting fucked up as well. That's harsh though, classes took attendence?
>>5810001
That's probably a chunk of the problem. Remember to structure a high school essay by points you want to make. If you have 3 supporting arguments for your topic, then have 3 body paragraphs, each one consisting of support for each argument. Works like a charm.
>>5809975
What's your paper topic?
>>5810018
I'm analyzing David Foster Wallace's "This is water" speech. I've grown to appreciate this guy I've never even heard of before. Just getting myself to stop fucking around and actually do the work is hard sometimes. My brain feels all fuzzy and scrambled and I can't really work when it's like that. I've got a good idea on what I'm gonna write the rest of the paper about, it's really only a couple more paragraphs, then inserting citations, and creating a work cited page. Oh and I have a self-review sheet I need to go over. I think I can do it in the morning so I shouldn't be up much longer..
>>5809964
http://www.avitale.com/developmentalreview.htm
>>5810022
"The capital-T Truth is about life BEFORE death.
It is about the real value of a real education, which has almost nothing to do with knowledge, and everything to do with simple awareness; awareness of what is so real and essential, so hidden in plain sight all around us, all the time, that we have to keep reminding ourselves over and over:
"This is water."
"This is water."
"
>>5810010
Ya
I remember all those anti-drug days at school teaching me all the terrible things about drugs
Though I haven't done them yet, I'll probably do them at some point
>>5810014
I go into a test with confidence and come out with a C at best
I hate myself whenever that happens so I guess I've just stopped bothering
>I bet you focus and work better at school, don't you?
Hardly, in math class I'm usually on my phone.
In other classes I'm sorta doing something but I'm kinda distracted, at best I do note taking and then my mind fucks off for the rest of the class.
>>5810017
Yeah
Usually I just gather all the info in my head and then base my three points around the first three points that come to my mind.
I need to plan this shit better
>>5809986
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zZkih54evUs
I can relate to this song way too much desu
>>5809628
We fell asleep watching the news actually
yumes snoring rn
>>5810005
adri and yume and I, so at least 3 of us
your friendly neighborhood chaser reporting in
how is everyone doing tonight
>>5810034
cool story
>>5810036
I'm happy! just working on my history review for my midterm!
>>5810022
That speech changed my life.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MZjpihl2pfg
>>5810030
The speech is pretty common sense with what he's getting at but so many people forget it. We think selfishly and see the world around us. It makes life painful to live like that. Everything is inconveniencing you, there to upset you, there to ruin your day. You forget about how everyone else is just like you. They're probably having a bad day too. Step out of your shoes for a moment and you might relax a little instead of hating every moment of the grind that is adult life.
>>5810032
>I go into a test with confidence and come out with a C at best
Well that's good. I expected to fail every math test but I could usually BS other classes.
>I hate myself whenever that happens so I guess I've just stopped bothering
Hey, a C is pretty good. Don't beat yourself up over it. If it really bothers you, study harder next time so you'll get a better grade and not feel that way!
>Hardly, in math class I'm usually on my phone.
Put your phone in your backpack or something. I know math is boring as heck and you'd rather be doing anything else but just try your best.
>In other classes I'm sorta doing something but I'm kinda distracted, at best I do note taking and then my mind fucks off for the rest of the class.
Dont let your mind wander off. Stay in the moment. I would day dream through all of my classes and then have no idea what's going on. Stay awake and conscious, keep yourself in that class.
How many more years do you have left?
>>5810039
youd be surprised how soothing the voices of fox news is
maybe this is the real reason why old people watch it all the time
>>5810036
duddddeeeee man is it alright if I didn't shave? like anywhere
ohhhh shitttt my GOD trannies are fucking LIVID man hot as lava mannn gets my rocks off dude hella ohohohoho
where the white boi pusc @@@@@ mmmmmmmm that's that shit I do like (y) (y) (y) ((those are thumbs ups btw not boobies xddd))
this thread is tmth hollyyyyy guacamole dudeeee
>>5810017
Some classes attendance was a graded item itself, some missing so many classes meant automatic fail. Had a language class that deducted from your final grade after so many absences.
Had an English class that failed for more than one, but I made it through that one. Wrote the biggest essay from scratch the morning due and the prof encouraged me to submit it to the school contest she loved it so much. Fuck that makes me feel like wasted potential lol
>>5810051
I wish I was dyslexic
>>5810034
would any of you portlanders be willing to support a young, poor trans girl? i can't get therapy or hrt or anything, i have no money, almost no skills, and transphobic parents who would disown me if they knew
i have resulted to begging for help on 4chan.
>>5810049
It's more of the fact that I'm confident I'm gonna do really well on a test and then I get a C
Happened a few times and pathetically, I wanted to cry/
>how many more years do you have left?
2, including this one
my parents made me start school a year later than most, so I won't leave until I'm 19 which pisses me off beyond belief
>>5810050
As someone who used to work for a christian company where fox news was blared all day every day on every tv.
NO.
>>5810053
*dsylxiec
>>5810052
>Some classes attendance was a graded item itself, some missing so many classes meant automatic fail. Had a language class that deducted from your final grade after so many absences.
Oh my god I hate classes like that. Am I in fucking highschool? Both of my classes deduct from a "participation grade" if you have the audacity to miss more than 1 class. You get dropped entirely after a few absences.
>>5810055
>It's more of the fact that I'm confident I'm gonna do really well on a test and then I get a C
You gave it your best, didn't you? As long as you did, it's okay. Don't cry, don't feel pathetic. Feel content you tried your hardest. Try and learn from your mistakes of the previous test and prepare better for the next one.
>2, including this one
>my parents made me start school a year later than most, so I won't leave until I'm 19 which pisses me off beyond belief
Ouch, I was 17 when I got out. I started pretty young though. At least you'll finally be out and move on to college. Some shits like me haven't really started college until they were 19/20. I turn 20 later this year and I'll have only completed 4 college classes.
>>5810073
I'm 24 and never went to college. Fuck you.
>>5810073
Yeah
nearly everyone I know will be out of school at 18
and then there's me
It really fucks with me because I'd have to wait another damn year before I can go fulltime and at that age I could do something more useful with my life like working full-time or college
>>5810073
I had perfect attendance. Granted, I did a whole lot of sleeping and more than my share of drinking and partying during the classes and my being there was more disruptive than useful to anyone, but I was always there. And I still came on top of the class at the end of year two national exams...
>>5810075
It does really get tiring of people still in there teens here always bitching about things. Give it a few more years and a majority of mtfg will be girls who started hrt when they were 12 and bitching about not starting when they were 8.
>>5810052
Gross, I hate when classes do that. Really, why penalise attendance? You're already screwing your grade by not being there, no need to punish twice.
Idk, maybe you're a natural writer? That's a strong skill to have.
>>5810032
Planning is important, if you don't plan your essay it won't have any flow and that makes it hard to read or make a convincing argument ;_;
>>5810054
I could maybe offer temperorary asylum but I really couldnt afford to take care of someone else anon
>>5810058
I mean sure, if its blaring loudly, that would probably make you want to die, but what about lying in bed with it on low volume while you're spooning with the back of a cute and you're already kinda tired because you just ate a nice full meal?
>>5810075
Why haven't you gone? It's never too late to start. I've had people older than you in classes before. I knew a dad in his 30s trying to get his teaching degree. I knew a marine I think your age who was among us young freshmen studying the FIRST college level English course the college had to offer. No matter how old you get, it's never too late to start.
>>5810078
>It really fucks with me because I'd have to wait another damn year before I can go fulltime and at that age I could do something more useful with my life like working full-time or college
Why? It's your last year. You won't have to deal with anyone once you graduate. Everyone is below you on the totem pole anyway. And maybe if you did come out and go full time and live as a girl at school, it would go okay. Sure would have been nice to go to prom as a girl (not that I went at all) and hear "Grace" called out at graduation.
>tfw you will never go shopping with Red and buy her things.
Ok thats enough I'm leaving.
soothing fox new is soothing
>>5810098
just DO it famalam
>>5810086
hehe
half the time I don't even have an argument, usually it's just me trying to get as much facts, dates and details as possible before time runs out.
I'm not cut out for essays it seems ;~;
>>5810096
I would never go full-time at my school, I'd get bullied pretty hard I think, plus it's a catholic school.
>Sure would have been nice to go to prom as a girl (not that I went at all)
Same, I didn't go because I don't want to wear a suit (not that anyone would want to go with me)
>>5810098
nooooo~ come back, dear!
>>5810098
just do it and gib pics
pls.
>>5810098
What show is this?
>>5810099
Coming up next is mid 30s blonde woman arguing with other mid 30s blonde woman about Obama and how Trump is Obamas fault! Obama!?
>>5810096
The idealised view of what it's like to be gender variant in high school is far from the reality. It sounds like it would be hell, kids are insanely cruel.
>>5810095
by support i meant more pointing out places to get therapy/hrt without parents involved
a/o allowing the use of your mailbox
>qt black girl at work won't stop flirting with me
>she has a boyfriend, even shows me a picture of him
>keeps flirting with me after work when one of out coworker guys says "what, are you guys dating now?"
>Me:"no?"
>Her:"vikky would you date me?"
>Me "yeah that'd be pretty nice. I guess"
>She giggles and shit and says "oh my god don't make me fall in love with you"
>>5810111
oh, yeah sure
do you have skype
>>5810099
How is it soothing? It's more frustrating and sets off my bullshit alarm way too much.
>>5810102
>I would never go full-time at my school, I'd get bullied pretty hard I think, plus it's a catholic school.
Alright, maybe that's a bit different than a liberal public school. Have you already started transition? If not maybe you could boymode it the rest of the last year.
>Same, I didn't go because I don't want to wear a suit (not that anyone would want to go with me)
>>5810110
>The idealised view of what it's like to be gender variant in high school is far from the reality.
I guess it really is the difference in our schools. Or I'm just fucking stupid. Or me talking to like, nobody means idk what I'm talking about.
My school had a Gay-straight alliance thing that everyone could use their preferred name and pronoun and be safe. I guess that gave me the impression I'd be okay. I had a whole fantasy about transitioning and being the prom queen with a nice date and stuff...
>>5810110
This is doubley true if you were a white kid who went to at least 60% black school. So glad my mind has blacked out so many of those days.
>>5810086
I seem to do pretty good at it but I've always had this weird mental block when it comes to getting started. It's why I procrastinate on writing tasks.
I've some ideas that I wanted to put to paper for years now, one of the things I actually feel determined to do eventually now that I finally have some drive.
>>5810110
I don't know... My high school years perhaps were my best, at least my most interesting years. And my friends from then are pretty much the only ones I really miss. Bunch of totally mean bitches, but we were fine together. Young adulthood, with all the weddings and pregnancies, that really destroyed my address book.
>>5810110
>tfw you chickened out on the dress for prom
The stitches wouldn't have been worth a final fuck you.
>>5810115
yea, but running low on data atm
username should be endkn1ght iirc
>>5810123
We didn't have a prom, but there was that old-fashioned grand gala ball every two years. Showed up there completely drunk, high and in a goth dress. Managed to get drunk some more on champagne and to do a razzia on the buffet before I left out of boredom.
>>5810110
People at a couple of schools I went to gave me so much shit for the littlest things, it made me hide a lot of the things I enjoyed and parts of myself even when I had better people around me. So when trans thoughts came around, no way in hell I was letting them out.
>>5810117
Gsas are great, and definitely make school more liveable if you're trans, but they're an accepting bubble in a very harsh place. You put a bunch of hormone addled, naive and aggressive teens into what's effectively a prison, they'll lash out at anyone who's different. I wasn't even out or presenting or long haired or anything and still took crap if I acted "faggy" or didn't act like how a guy is expected to.
>>5810119
;_;
>>5810123
If the stakes are stitches, then no, sadly not. ;_;
>>5810123
>tfw you went to prom with a girl
>waited till she went to sleep
>tried on her prom dress
>fit perfectly on thin frame with gyno
>cried
>took it off
>went to bed
>>5810129
Yeah maybe but if I'm trying to sleep I'm gonna start paying attention to it and get riled up and stuff. I'm the kind of person that needs like total darkness, some ambient sound, and the air flowing in order to sleep unless I'm like super exhausted. Cars/planes can also put me to sleep just by being on them ;w;
>>5810131
Might be weird for people after you come back from break and look more girly but idk maybe they'll shrug it off. I'd rather deal with weird looks and stuff than not-transition longer so up to you if it's worth the risk. Good luck though, anon <3
>>5810137
I guess that's where having no friends and basically being invisible came in handy, along with hiding everything....
>>5810123
>>5810096
I have an actual chance to come out as a girl at the year 12 formal (Australian equivalent of prom)
should I do it? or should I not tempt fate
I've been on hormones for enough time to get boobs, and my friends have offered to do my makeup.
The only think stopping me right now I think is my haircut, which sadly I can not change, because of the stupid school I go to.
>>5810140
>tfw you try to bring boy to prom
>can't because catholic school, kids would bully you harder
>instead spend the night over at his place
>tell him about crossdressing and wanting to look like a girl
>gives you big kiss and says you look pretty as a girl
>>5810148
Do it. Whatever could happen won't be worse than regretting you didn't.
>people here actually went to their prom
fucking normies.
>>5810148
Buy a nice wig for the evening if your hair is real short.
>>5810148
Sounds like things are pretty good for you there already so go for it.
>>5810140
>tfw stole some of sisters clothes and used to wear them
>tfw still have them and gf thinks its hot that you wear your sister's clothes
>>5810148
Is it your absolute last day of school? The only reason it was even a possibility for me was because it was the day after the last final, so I know I would literally not see anyone there again for at least a couple years if ever.
But if you also have close friends you trust it might be fun, idk, it's just that there's the potential for thing to be incredibly not fun as well.
>>5810148
I'd say just do it. You'll quickly learn after a couple years that no one in high school mattered and anyone who gives you shit can go fuck themselves.
>>5810135
Pretty much exactly this. As shitty as I was at it, the only option was to fit in and keep trans thoughts as my deepest, darkest secret. Maybe I'd have been more open about it if I knew what being trans actually was, but I guess I'll never know.
>>5810142
Being invisible is unfortunately not an option if you're out and presenting in high school. It paints a gigantic bullseye on your back ;_;
Which trips that don't post right now do you suspect have killed themselves?
>>5810155
>tfw never done anything fun like that
>tfw 23 soon and never did anything in my life
>>5810165
Kira
>>5810167
I'm a couple of years older than you and in the same boat. WELCOME TO HELL. It doesnt get any better.
>>5810159
>tfw took mother's clothes at 13
>tfw parents found them hidden in closet after discovering shoes were missing from a box
>tfw 23 and parents have no idea im trans
>>5810165
Pookie
>>5810142
yeah
Weird looks are better than
"Hey look it's the tranny kid lol"
>>5810170
At least I have my video games
h-ha ha
>>5810172
Trip on Kit
>>5810167
>tfw haven't had a friend in three years because i don't want them to have ever known an ugly hon
>>5810159
>tfw revealed to my sister that I've "borrowed" some of her clothes over the years
>tfw she gives me even more clothes
I wish things hadnt gone south between her and I. At the same time she can go fuck herself for burning that bridge.
>>5810170
It's gotten better for me. :3
>>5810150
>tfw you didn't grow up in the LGBT right age
cute desu
>>5810159
>crossdressed with highschool gf
>exlusively bottom
>"i'm going to put my husband in panties when I have one, this is so hot"
>know the husband
> give him knowing looks
>>5810172
I asked my mother for her old clothes when I was a teenager "for costumed parties", she saw nothing wrong about it. Downside is that it took her twenty more years and SRS firmly scheduled to realise I was serious about the whole thing and it wasn't a game.
>>5810163
>Being invisible is unfortunately not an option if you're out and presenting in high school. It paints a gigantic bullseye on your back ;_;
I don't think I really worried or cared back then. I was planning on starting transition and going fulltime when I felt presentable, which probably wouldn't have been until closer to graduation anyway. I dunno, I looked like a dumb faggy boy and would have made an easy target but somehow I slipped by..
>>5810169
>Maybe I was exaggerating my chances... I'm not sure...
Think about it but if I were in your shoes I'd probably go for it.
>>5810175
I'd deal with that too over not transitioning. But for me it was transition or suicide before I started.
>>5810184
>tfw Faye will never give you knowing looks
>>5810180
>tfw haven't had a real friend in 7 years
>tfw disgusting man beast so don't want to bother with social stuff because it makes me feel like shit and I hate my deep voice
>>5810148
best of luck ausfriendo
>>5810159
>tfw you stole your sister's clothes pretty routinely
>tfw you came out to your parents years later and after the first few questions, they immediately decide to ask if you've ever cross dressed or stolen people's clothes
>tfw too awkward to know what to say and just turn beet red in the face
>tfw billions of years of evolution has lead to me sitting here night after night staring at my computer screen and wishing I was a girl
>>5810194
nsw
Ok so it turns out the formal is after school finishes but not after the final exams...
So I don't have to go back to school, but I still have to do exams with the same people
>>5810199
;-;
>>5810202
imo if you think you could pass as a girl, probably do it. and if you don't, then don't do it.
either way people are going to think you're weird. but in the former case, they're less likely to want to kill you.
>>5810172
>tfw wore dance clothes in house from 4-6
>tfw they took my dance clothes
>joined theater
>tfw wore theater outfits around house
>parents find and take tights and outfits
>start stealing moms clothes dressing in secret
>take hidden stash 5 times
>tfw no idea I was trans
>tfw "I just thought boys will be boys"
>>5810198
The only people I ever came out to only asked about my sexuality at first. It was... underwhelming. Especially since I was sitting there bawling my eyes about wanting to be a girl.
>>5810194
>I really need to transition cuz puberty has fucked me up in some ways
You'll start soon enough, just hang on~
>>5810199
Once you've transitioned go put those years of evolution to good use!
>>5810199
the world is only 2016 years old, jesus made you trans
tfw you'll never be as good as your gf's ex and she keeps reminding you of this and it destroys what little self esteem and confidence you manage to build up throughout the day and you really want to die because even though you've given every piece of yourself to her it's not good enough and no one will ever pretend to love you this much again
>tfw being trans means you cant be a cute musclegirl
>>5810212
Jesus has a poor sense of humor then since he gave me every genetic that makes me a hideous man.
>>5810215
oh anon ;_;
but seriously ditch that bitch, there is a reason she has an ex
>>5810217
I would be okay just being an ugly girl if it meant passing.
>>5810206
It was nice when I was younger, but eventually you grow too big to steal your sister's clothes, then you have to find another way of coping ;~;
>>5810209
The orientation question is a weirdly common one, every person I've ever come out to has asked it, and quickly. You're only out to one person so far though? ;_;
>>5810217
No it doesn't; it's kind of uncommon for transgirls to choose to build huge muscles, but there definitely are some that do. (It might make passing more challenging though.)
>>5810228
Or in my case your sister grows too big (fat) and all her clothes dont fit anymore.
>>5810232
You meanie!!!
>>5810235
For good reason hahahaah
>>5810211
Probably you since you're apparently so full of bullshit.
This thread is reminding me of all those years I spent secretly crossdressing instead of looking into what it all meant and what I should do about it. Fuck. So many years wasted...
>>5810235
Well, then there's the downside of having a sister. I love my sister a lot, but it's hard not to be jealous of her.
>tfw she's smarter than you
>tfw she's more successful than you
>tfw she's prettier than you
>tfw she's more mentally stable than you
>tfw she's getting married this year and is set for a happy and rewarding life
Fug :C
>>5810234
Baggy clothes at least can fit. They won't look good, but at least they're still an option ;_;
>>5810198
>>5810181
>>5810172
>>5810159
>tfw you'll never be able to share clothes with your sister or mom like they can with each other because male puberty has given you such a large skeleton in comparison to theirs that you'd just end up damaging their clothes if you tried
>>5810165
Umaru
Kit
Mary
Ginger
Cheska
Edgar
>tfw friends stop replying
Guess I should go to bed, goodnight /mtfg/
>tfw you and Adri were drinkers just yesterday
>tfw no longer friends
It's really the worst feel I've had in a while
>>5810250
Stupid iPhone autocorrect
>>5810241
at least I'm not showing off how much I wasted my time at a third rate college English class
>>5810250
strawberry... turtle?
