I need some help figuring this out. I am a male. There is this one other boy that is sorta a twink that I have had a crush on for about two years now. During that time, the crush has not wanned, I have not crushed on anyone else, and I have not given him any indication that I am crushing on him. This is the first and so far only boy that I have crushed on. Back in high school, there were some girls that I crushed on, I never gave them any of indication that I crushed on them, and I am a kiss less, dateless virgin. Back in high school I was fairly certain that I was straight. At night, I would masterbate to lesbian porn, I never really watched any straight porn nor gay male porn. After I started to have this crush on this guy, I slowly stopped watching lesbian porn and started watching more gay male porn, although still no straight porn. Eventually I stopped watching lesbian porn entirely and started to only watch gay male porn. This change in my porn preference finished about a year ago. At around that time, I started to think that I am in fact gay, and not straight nor bisexual. And it continued like this for about a year, until around a month ago. Around a month ago, I started to watch lesbian porn again, and now I am hopelessly lost. I do not really know if I am bisexual, gay, straight, or what. In addition, there is a particular emotion that I feel when watching lesbian porn that I do not feel when watching gay porn and I did not feel back when I was watching lesbian pron back in high school, guilt. I think that the reason that I am feeling this guilt is because I feel like I am reducing the females in the lesbian porn to essentially sex objects. Of course, if that is true, then I do the same thing when watching gay male porn, but I do not experience that emotion of guilt when watching gay male porn. I feel that that might be partially due to some of my rather feminist friends, despite the fact that I know that they have no problem with males watching *continued
>>4273879
*continued* lesbian porn. In addition to all this, I do have some issues relating to my gender identity. In high school, I was feeling rather dysphoric about my male secondary sex characteristics and wishing that I had female secondary sex characteristics. I had tried to talk to my parent about these feelings, and throughout the conversation, they asked me if I were gay. Gay, as in, a male attached to males. I had said that I was not, that I was into females and I guess wanted to be a female myself. They said that the a male wanting female secondary sex characteristics was pretty gay, the way they talked made it seem like they do not think a "transbian," as they are referred to on this board, can exist. They then took me to a psychologist, and the psychologist they took me to said that if I was not feeling this way to an extreme extent since childhood, then I am not transgender. In addition to all this, my parent forced me to stop talking to my friends and to stop playing video games. My parent said that my friends and video games were putting ideas into my head that were not my own ideas, that they were making me feel dysphoric. In addition, they had a blood test ran on me, and found that I was completely failing at being a vegitarian, and had dangerously low iron levels, and that that could be messing with my brain. After that happened, I stopped feeling any gender dysphoria. I often though about if indeed those feelings were not geniune, and if they were entirely fabricated by friends, video games, and low iron levels, or if they had simply scarred it out of me by taking away my video games and friends, and by yelling at me. *continued*
>>4274001
*continued* To this day I do not have any close friendships anymore nor do I play any video games anymore. In addition, I wanted to major in Biology and become a medical doctor, but they forced be into majoring in Civil Engineering to become a civil engineer. It is impossible to create a schedule that will allow me in major in Civil Engineering and take the classes needed for admittance into medical school. It is worth noting that I am in the United States, that my parent pays for my education, and it is impossible for me to attend university without yheir financial support. Anyway, about a month ago, when I started to watch lesbian porn again, I started to have feelings of gender dysphoria again. I started to have feelings of disliking my male secondary sex characteristics and wanting to have female secondary sex characteristics. I went to my doctor for a check up, and I also had them run a blood test. My weight and blood are fine, my iron levels and everything else it normal, my vaccinations are up-to-date, I have no physical illness, and I am completely healthy. So my health and iron levels are not causing these feelings of gender dysphoria. I still have no close friends and I still do not play video games, so those are not causing these feelings of gender dysphoria either. /lgbt/, what do you think? It is also worth noting that I am on my parent's health insurance, it is impossible for me to get my own, and all of the psychologists around here have only expensive fixed rates, which I cannot afford. So I cannot see a psychologist without my parent finding out. My parent knows nothing about this, they think that I am your standard cisgender heterosexual male, that simply had feelings of gender dysphoria a few years ago caused by low iron levels, video games, and friends, and they think that I no longer have those feelings. Who am I, what is wrong with my, and what should I do? *end*
Also, pic in OP is unrelated, and I have been lurking this board for while now.
your describing the path of nearly every bisexual albeit with many twists and turns, you can figure this out for yourself !!HnW1ujoDCgP
>>4275763
>muh biscum
>doesn't get enough attention with the bisexual stuff
>muh gender identity
who cares, you all end up married with kids and teasing everyone around you.
>>4273879
Yes OP. I've read your story and I truly believe you are bi. Be happy and enjoy the many options your brain allows you to enjoy.
>>4288970
Sorry, but bump. I really need some help figuring out if I am transsexual. I think I have some physical dysphoria with regards to my secondary sex characteristics, but I am not certaint if that is what those feelings are. More details are in the three posts that the OP consists of. Can someone please read through it and they me if they think I am transsexual or not?
>>4295967
Do you want to be a woman? When you look at your body in the mirror does it match what you envision yourself as?
>>4296459
When I look at the mirror, some of my male secondary sex characteristics, namely my relatively flat chest, body and facial hair, and masculine facial structure and features, does cause me some feelings of distress upon seeing them. In addition to that, I think that I would not have those feelings of distress if I had female secondary sex characteristics there instead. I have no issues with my primary sex chacteristics.
>>4273879
PARAGRAPH YOUR FUCKING POSTS YOU STUPID FAGGOT!
I hope that was helpful.
>>4304416
Bump.
maybe you just want to be a girl so he'll like you
>>4273879
I think you're bi anon, *hugs* I have been there.
I have a question dear anon, do you think you are bisexual or maybe pan?
My sexuality has seemed to fluctuate according to the few crushes I have had ( I am "bi", or even "mainly-gay"). The fluctuation of straight to gay has never seemed "bi" to me, it seems closer to pan. Do you or anyone else reading this agree or am I looking into it too hard?
>>4309809
I repeat. Paragraph your fucking posts and then I'll read your shit. But if you want a reply I think you're a faggot.
>>4211038
I need some help figuring this out. I am a male. There is this one other boy that is sorta a twink that I have had a crush on for about two years now. During that time, the crush has not wanned, I have not crushed on anyone else, and I have not given him any indication that I am crushing on him. This is the first and so far only boy that I have crushed on. Back in high school, there were some girls that I crushed on, I never gave them any of indication that I crushed on them, and I am a kiss less, dateless virgin.
Back in high school I was fairly certain that I was straight. At night, I would masterbate to lesbian porn, I never really watched any straight porn nor gay male porn. After I started to have this crush on this guy, I slowly stopped watching lesbian porn and started watching more gay male porn, although still no straight porn. Eventually I stopped watching lesbian porn entirely and started to only watch gay male porn. This change in my porn preference finished about a year ago.
At around that time, I started to think that I am in fact gay, and not straight nor bisexual. And it continued like this for about a year, until around a month ago. Around a month ago, I started to watch lesbian porn again, and now I am hopelessly lost. I do not really know if I am bisexual, gay, straight, or what.
In addition, there is a particular emotion that I feel when watching lesbian porn that I do not feel when watching gay porn and I did not feel back when I was watching lesbian pron back in high school, guilt. I think that the reason that I am feeling this guilt is because I feel like I am reducing the females in the lesbian porn to essentially sex objects.
Of course, if that is true, then I do the same thing when watching gay male porn, but I do not experience that emotion of guilt when watching gay male porn. I feel that that might be partially due to some of my rather feminist friends, despite the fact that I know that they have no problem with *continued*
>>4312072
And meant to cite >>4311038
*continued* males watching lesbian porn.
In addition to all this, I do have some issues relating to my gender identity. In high school, I was feeling rather dysphoric about my male secondary sex characteristics and wishing that I had female secondary sex characteristics. I had tried to talk to my parent about these feelings, and throughout the conversation, they asked me if I were gay. Gay, as in, a male attached to males. I had said that I was not, that I was into females and I guess wanted to be a female myself.
They said that the a male wanting female secondary sex characteristics was pretty gay, the way they talked made it seem like they do not think a "transbian," as they are referred to on this board, can exist. They then took me to a psychologist, and the psychologist they took me to said that if I was not feeling this way to an extreme extent since childhood, then I am not transgender. In addition to all this, my parent forced me to stop talking to my friends and to stop playing video games.
My parent said that my friends and video games were putting ideas into my head that were not my own ideas, that they were making me feel dysphoric. In addition, they had a blood test ran on me, and found that I was completely failing at being a vegitarian, and had dangerously low iron levels, and that that could be messing with my brain.
After that happened, I stopped feeling any gender dysphoria. I often though about if indeed those feelings were not geniune, and if they were entirely fabricated by friends, video games, and low iron levels, or if they had simply scarred it out of me by taking away my video games and friends, and by yelling at me. *continued*
*continued* To this day I do not have any close friendships anymore nor do I play any video games anymore. In addition, I wanted to major in Biology and become a medical doctor, but they forced be into majoring in Civil Engineering to become a civil engineer. It is impossible to create a schedule that will allow me in major in Civil Engineering and take the classes needed for admittance into medical school.
It is worth noting that I am in the United States, that my parent pays for my education, and it is impossible for me to attend university without yheir financial support.
Anyway, about a month ago, when I started to watch lesbian porn again, I started to have feelings of gender dysphoria again. I started to have feelings of disliking my male secondary sex characteristics and wanting to have female secondary sex characteristics.
I went to my doctor for a check up, and I also had them run a blood test. My weight and blood are fine, my iron levels and everything else it normal, my vaccinations are up-to-date, I have no physical illness, and I am completely healthy. So my health and iron levels are not causing these feelings of gender dysphoria.
I still have no close friends and I still do not play video games, so those are not causing these feelings of gender dysphoria either. /lgbt/, what do you think? It is also worth noting that I am on my parent's health insurance, it is impossible for me to get my own, and all of the psychologists around here have only expensive fixed rates, which I cannot afford. So I cannot see a psychologist without my parent finding out. *continued*
>>4312137
*continued* My parent knows nothing about this, they think that I am your standard cisgender heterosexual male, that simply had feelings of gender dysphoria a few years ago caused by low iron levels, video games, and friends, and they think that I no longer have those feelings. Who am I, what is wrong with my, and what should I do? *end*
While I did put it into paragraphs on new lines, I did not put lines between paragraphs nor did I indent them. Will that be an issue for readability?
>>4310422
I thought that the term pansexual was basically attraction to all "gender identities," but your post implies a different definition as only males and females are mentioned in my post and your post makes no expilict mention of any time of "non-binary gender identity."
