>>5544063
If you want to learn more about your identity, go to a gender therapist. The modicum of estrogen in birth control won't do shit without testosterone suppression, anyways.

>>5544090
That's the problem, there's no gender therapist where i live, or in a radius of 50km. I live in a extremely small city (Less than 40k habitants) and there's like 2 or 3 know mtf's in the city.

I don't think conventional therapists can help me with this.

>>5544063
Therapists only verify what you feel. I can't remember who said this, but they are like a glorified way to vent.

do you live in a flyover state or something?

in most liberal states they make insurance companies cover HRT.

>>5544110
THIS
I mistakenly went in to therapy thinking they would actually try to help me and provide insight into me, but really it's just pretty much
>yes, that must be very [happy, sad, painful, angering]
useless

>>5544297
This is why there is no actual way to cope with this bullshit, or for any other mental illness out there for that matter. Modern psychology and therapy is fucking ass. The best therapy available right now is to talk your feelings through with someone.

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>>5544063
>illegally acquiring estrogen BC and taking them w/o consulting a doctor
Shiggy diggy. That level of E is going to be hell on your body, it'll likely just make you fat and emotional but you may have a stroke or heart attack, and any therapist you see after that is going to consider you a risk to yourself.

Don't believe the meme op

I went on hormones, 3 month trial period to see if I was really trans. Then at the end i got my testosterone back and started getting more body and facial hair, looked more rugged, panicked, bought another 3 months... And just a minute ago i realised i've almost run out, about to buy the next 3 months. Maybe one day i'll know. Now i just feel more disgusted when i do appear more masculine, i hold a higher standard of femininity to myself. It just makes it worse.

At this point i just do it to delay when i finally come off them and have to face my demons to fix my brain. Right now i'd probably become an alcoholic and kill myself.

>>5545500
Me too but i don't think alcohol can help me relax and forget my problems. Never tried it before. 22 years without even touching alcohol.

The day I start drinking, I'll drink to die.

I selfmedded with birth control pills. I wouldn't recommend it, it makes you have hella emotional breakdowns. Get real HRT instead.

>>5544297
The fuck were you expecting? Psychic abilities? Therapy is about asking questions and getting to the root of problems in order to heal. It sounds like you just sat there, made no effort on your part and getting increasingly buttmad when the therapist doesn't whip out a magic wand to solve your problems. Or maybe you didn't get the diagnosis you wanted?

>>5544063
>i'm close to the "chest expansion" at 19
tfw that hit me at 17. honlife.

>>5547574
>It sounds like [your therapist] just sat there, made no effort
exactly

>>5548950
look for a new one. not everyone is competent in the job they do. therapy heavily depends on yourself though so i wouldn't put all the fault on the therapist unless he is truly incompetent.

>>5544485
Please, if you just order the bioidentical stuff rather than contraceptives , then it's orders of magnitude safer and more effective.

Just buy spiro and e and take them while you think it through

I believe most forms of birth control these days specifically target the ovaries and uterus and don't really affect your blood hormonal levels.

>>5548950
>waaaahhh introspection is hard

>>5549235
Wasting thousands on something that hardly helps when they could be spent in paying for cosmetic procedures is dumb