Any late transitioners here?
What kept you from transitioning earlier? Denial? Lack of knowledge? Lack of support?
Btw, cheers to you for sticking it out
Im 50 and transitioned at 43. It was mostly society and family that kept me from doing it earlier.
I totally regret not doing it in my teens
I feel bad for a lot of older transitioners. I think what a lot of younger mtfs here don't realize is that transitioning used to be much harder. You couldn't just click around on the internet to get HRT and you were real fucking lucky if you had access to a medical system that didn't put you through all sorts of bullshit basically trying to stop you from transitioning as hard as possible. Not to mention acceptance and awareness was even worse than it is now. I'm sure a lot of hons would be transitioning in their late teens/early twenties if they had been born in the 90s instead
28 here. Denial and lack of knowledge combined with once I accepted I was trans attempts to live life as gay man. Once I failed at that attempted suicide then finally started transition.
>>5398838
Whoa, did you have a wife and kids? How did people react when you started transitioning?
>>5398824
started at 19 year old due to extremely stressful lifestyle, lack of financial and emotional independence, various mental disorders, and lack of trans awareness(didn't know that hrt exists, though all transgenders look like mr.garrison from south park)
if only my family and school didn't make hell out of my life...if only I didn't give up on my appearance and everything in early middle school...I would have surely realize how I really want to look like, who I really want to be, much earlier
Instead, I kept deluding myself with "I don't care about my appearance har so masculine" bullshit
and once I actually started caring about my appearance-lost over 20 kilos etc-and finished high school, and moved out of my parents/grandparents house...I found myself without purpose in life..and looked in the mirror....and saw unfamiliar disgusting male
and realized that it's not that I don't want to look attractive, I don't want to look like attractive <male>
and then i despaired and cursed myself and everything and tried to find out a way to chemically castrate myself
and that's how I learned about hrt and immediately started buying on the gray/black market in my country and later in inhouse due to lack of confidence to go to therapist and lack of support from other doctors...
I couldn't tell them "I need hrt to be like a girl", since I looked like a disgusting, hairy, balding male. such words as "I want to be girly" were impossible to produce for many many months, if not years since starting hrt and developing my character...
of course, it doesn't matter. think what you want, but 19 is a hon age. My body, my skeleton, is unfixable. I started too late, and I now try to make the best with scraps.
>>5398869
>19
>late
Fuck off dingus.
>>5398877
I mean, she might be 6ft and balding with a barrel chest.
I wish you luck OP. Someday trans treatment WILL get better. Hell, it's a billion-dollar industry waiting to take off. You can take comfort in that.
>>5398877
no, you fuck off
at most I look several years younger then I am, but I'm not looking like a woman.
I presume that you started at similar age, and me saying that it's too late makes your own delusion threatened. Thus, your "fuck off" reaction
but the truth is, it IS too late. Too late to fix my manskeleton. Too late to fix my manvoice. I will always have to modulate. I will never be able to get naked without giving away my manbody. I am 175 centimenters tall, and add to that, im a fucking tranny
the amount of effort required for me to pass is enormous ,and even then, not always, and as trans awareness increases and so does the amount of pre 18 transitioners, nothing but a life of ugly hon awaits me
this is not the joy that I asked for
still, it's all I will ever have
>>5398877
stop being fat
>>5398890
>175cm
That's tall for a girl-tier, not man-tier
>>5398910
yeah, that's tall for girl tier
tall hight plus man skeleton
nice "girl" I would make
>>5398890
>I am 175 centimenters tall
176 here and doing fine actually because I put some effort into my transition and don't think pills will magically fix everything in my life. Sure, I might have somewhat wide shoulders and a large ribcage but I haven't been gendered male since about one year after I started HRT. Oh and I started at 23.
>>5398914
Lots of women have manly skeletons, especially asian and european women.
What's the problem? No curves? Barrel chest?
>>5398921
hon pls you haven't been gendered male for 1000 reasons
even old hons like bruce jenner aren't gendered male even though everyone knows they are trans, yet that doesn't mean they pass
if you started at 23, you're way past male puberty. there is no way you can look feminine. all you can do is put on girl clothes, grow your hair, change your name and hope people will be kind enough to overlook certain things
>>5398890
Kill yourself, you self-pitying piece of shit.
>>5398948
Ah, the old "You think it's all good but secretly people just don't wanna hurt your feelings"
Classic. Did you know that's how they originally got people to buy mouthwash? Deodorant too.
>>5398948
Sure, if that helps you get through the day, keep telling yourself that. I'll just live my life in the meantime.
>>5398890
Would you say 17 is too late? I think my face is salvageable, but my feet are big I'm and 6ft
>>5398970
There is no absolute age barrier where HRT is concerned, it's all very individual. Some people would pass if they start at 35, some wouldn't at 16.
>>5398963
>bad analogies
>>5398953
>straight out hostility
>>5398964
>straight out denial
Nice. 3 replies of butthurt.
Feeling threatened, much?
How silly must the words "I pass" coming from a 23 year old transitioner sound in the eyes, of, say, someone who started hrt in middle school.
They view us the same way we view 50+ hons, and rightfully so. How can someone with 23 year old's male skeleton say they pass?
silly
>>5398970
dunno. my friend was 2 meters tall at the age of 16
it doesn't matter, you have to do all you can with what you have left
>>5398948
I started at 23 and feel more content on HRT but I still hate myself the same and can tell I'm a hon. I also hate how /mtfg/ hugboxes the fuck out of me and treats me like I'm a model
>>5398984
I wouldn't know, I'm a straight cis white male. Hardly threatened hahahahaha
>>5398984
Okay.
>>5399012
Let's see it, I'll be honest with you in a respectful manner.
>>5398984
>how can someone with 23 year old's male skeleton say they pass
Because they think that passing=people calling them ma'am
Realistically, passing is people not being able to tell that they were born male and lived most of their life as a man. That's the goal. When people look at you and don't have to wonder if you were born with a penis.
>>5399037
So if people only ma'am you indefinitely,
How is that not the same as stealthing/passing
>>5399054
Because they could just be tolerating you or avoiding discriminating, when really they are thinking about how you completely look like a chiseled guy wearing girl's clothes
>>5399037
Realistically, there are ALWAYS assholes who have to pick on a visible trans girl. The bus I ride home from work every Saturday is filled with drunk youths, don't you think one of them would have burst out in laughter while looking at me or made some comment over the years I've been taking this bus? And you're the one calling me delusional ...
>>5398824
I started this year at 41.
I didn't want to wait. I never lied. When I was a really young kid I didn't even know I was different. All I know was that at 4 my mom started taking me to this church to get demons cast out of me, and I had to see this preacher therapist then his nice cop wife. They just kept saying you can't act like a girl anymore. I didn't have any sisters, but I did have a female cousin. We got along great. I think it was partly the school wouldnt' enroll me over it and that freaked my mom out.
I was tortured for two years. I wanted to die after that.
I acted out at 14 and changed my ID and joined a pagent. School said oh hell no. Cut your hair and shut up or get expelled. All the other "boys" had these stupid mullets and I had to have a buzz cut on the sides and back like military and no ear to my ears or expelled. Yay rural Ohio! I heard the phrase woman trapped in a man's body and ran with it. I joked but everyone knew. I was voted most likely to come to HS reunion as a trannie.
My family beat me up a whole lot.
I gave up got suicidal and started drinking every day on 8th grade graduation day. I started seeing a gender therapist 3 years ago.
I don't have regret just a whole lot of hear break.
>>5398869
I dunno, I started at 21 and I pass just fine. Granted, being an MtF is at least 70% genetics.
My endo says I will pass, but I don't believe her.
>>5399036
I'd rather not, I would but I'm just feeling vulnerable tonight.
>>5399099
Endo? Is this a real thing? Like... I just told my doctor I was going to self med until she gave me a script, so she gave me informed consent forms and I've had a script ever since. Never seen an endo.
>>5398890
>>5398914
>tall hight plus man skeleton
>plus man skeleton
That's your issue
I've seen a lot of cis girls around that size and all of them look very feminine and attractive, it doesn't make them look manly or even stand out that much. Unless you live in china or something if there's anything stopping your body from passing it's probably just your figure and not the height itself, most likely nobody would notice if the rest of you passed
Also seen a hon that's like 165 and doesn't pass because manshoulders and stuff, so yeah
I get why you people notice your height that much (I'm short and really notice it personally, at least with my face I don't have to see it every time I try to look someone in the eyes or reach something), but objectively, by itself it really doesn't fucking matter that much. You sound like a dude with no legs saying he can't walk because the floor is slippery
Started this year, 31.
I spent most of my early life being informed that what I wanted wasn't possible, and reading horror stories about what happened to people who tried.
By university, I was invested in my course of suffering, even when I learned that it wasn't necessary. After all, I survived to my twenties without resorting to suicide - I probably wasn't trans enough. And I was managing. There were only a few months a year where I was a moody, reclusive, inconsolable wreck. Happens to everyone.
About a year ago I observed that things had been getting worse rather than better - that my friends were worried for me - that my family had noticed I didn't engage with them and couldn't form a romantic relationship - that I stopped really respecting my life as more than a simulation.
I decided I'd give a try to see if this would let me engage with my life again. It has. As awful as some things are, I'm caring about myself, others, and my course through life again, in ways I haven't since puberty crossed me.
I'm sad I didn't know how to transition when I was younger. The last twenty years could have been less awful.
>>5398838
I hope you feel a lot better and happier now. I hated myself just for not starting at 17, and I started at 20. With my small pool of experience, I can't imagine how much you have suffered.
>>5398840
I know what you mean. I am not sure what these other trannies are thinking. I remember having to deal with paper maps as a child, it would be terrible trying to get transition started before the internet.
>>5398869
>>5398890
19 is still considered early, last I checked. We might be considered late transitioners in 10 years (or maybe on the cusp of it?) Though I feel the same way as you. I swallowed my parents' bullshit and thought I would have no hope if I tried to be a girl. Now that I started HRT I am not sure I'll pass without surgery. Clear example of a self-fulfilling prophecy.
But anyway, I think taking a closer look at cis women will show you you're not so badly fucked as you think you are. Still fucked, but not so greatly. I was surprised at how wide most cis women's shoulders are when I really looked at them. And you'll still be upset from time to time.
>>5399110
Yeah it's a real thing. My therapist said the proper way to do it is to wait a long time in therapy to get a letter. I switched to a less expensive one, but she said min three months to get a letter. I also saw a psychiatrist for the endo to agree. I guess the one I see is really strict in treating trans and no one likes her, but I didn't know any of this I didn't get involved in the community to know any of that then.
I like her. I trust her and she does blood work and her own psych eval.
She said that she always gets the best results and that I shouldn't need FFS, but I don't know.
I know most other Mff's think she is a bitch, but I trust her.
>>5398977
The real question is, with an infinite budget, how fucked are you? I've basically got an unlimited budget for plastic surgery, but still think I won't pass if I do HRT and transition.
>>5399147
Hard to tell without knowing what you look like. Do you (literally) have the physique one would expect of a linebacker or something similarly manly? If not you shouldn't have much problem passing considering you can just throw money at every feature you're not pleased with.
>>5399130
>that I stopped really respecting my life as more than a simulation.
Dissociative disorder is apparently one of the most common disorders trans people are diagnosed with. I've never been diagnosed with it, but I'm sure I have an at least mild case of it myself.
>>5399186
Not a linebacker, but have other issues. Sunken eye sockets, thinning hair, etc. May as well just off myself lol
>>5399224
Not as big of an issue as you might think. I also have rather deep set eyes. Yes, it looks weird to me, but doesn't keep me from passing apparently. Maybe there's some kind of surgery to help with that.
For your hair you can take propecia (I dunno if that's how it's spelled), biotin, dutasteride/finasteride.
>>5399262
Doesn't Spiro do the same thing?
>>5399274
No. Spiro is a potassium sparing diuretic with slight anti-androgenic side effects at larger doses.
>>5398824
Started at 16, 3 years later and I'm extremely jealous of people like Kim Petras and Anreja who got to start blockers young, I just try and focus on making money, desu/
>>5399130
Oh give it a rest. You didn't do it early cause you didn't know you were trains back three, be honest
>>5399294
oh crap. I need to go back on Finestriside.
i didnt start transitioning until 23 cause i was a huge coward and afraid everyone would disown me. I knew i wanted to be a girl when i was 8 but was afraid to do or say anything until it got bad enough. now itll be bad forever lol
>>5399294
Wrong. Spiro does and is used to prevent hair loss. It's generally less common than other alternatives tho cause getting tits and pissing all the time aren't great side effects.
>>5399317
I was wondering cause me endo said it should work in replacement. I was starting to doubt her, but she said she could add Propecia if I wanted.
>>5399317
Who actually uses spiro instead of dutasteride of finasteride anymore? I've never heard of anyone doing that.
>>5399341
Women suffering from balding use it and I'd assume some men who haven't had success using other drugs and still want to keep their hair.
25 here, should be starting HRT on jan 6th.
Constant denial kept me from transitioning and the fact that I didn't even know transgender was a thing until I was 19. I almost started HRT when I was 22 but I was out to no one so I panicked literally the day before the appointment I would of gotten HRT and cancelled and tried to deny again.
This summer I did quite a bit of acid, and it really changed my attitude more towards "fuck everyone else, I'll do what I want". That said I am terrified if I will ever pass or not, I have 18" shoulders right now and massively wide clown feet, but I atleast have my mum's hips and face. Plus man boobs I have never been able to lose, even when I was at my club swimmer peak, so that might be a good thing.
>>5398869
19 is not late at all. Maybe you have fucked genetics, but I have seen people starting at even 30 passing perfectly fine. Sorry you are ugly, I guess.
28 MtF, twin. We had been sneakily cross dressing with our older sisters clothes for years before she moved out. I had been referring myself as a lesbian for years because I knew what I was, just not the right words. Twin came out as trans after high-school (18ish), and dated best friend, lived vicariously through her transition. Felt some sort of obligation to the family to spawn more overlords, thought everyone expected me to strive for the nuclear family. Told I needed to provide so that I could be a perfect man.
Worked many shitty jobs trying to find who I was because I thought I'd find something that would make me feel normal and healthy, and instead became more confused with every frustrating promotion I gained.
Year ten of being engaged to my fiance, I have given up on working minimum wage and gone to uni to start to chase dreams, she tells me that she is asexual, as a flinch reaction I say I'm transgender and all of a sudden feel a weight off of my shoulders. I'm still in the process of telling family, but I told my twin sister who just said to me "I know, but you needed to find it for yourself"
Autism lol.. ._.
>>5398824
started earlier this year. aged 18. I should just kill myself, I will never pass
>>5398948
>if you started at 23, you're way past male puberty. there is no way you can look feminine.
>everyone has the same genetics
nice blanket statement, pal
>>5400097
Try to pass first, kill yourself later if it doesn't work out. It might be better than you think
>>5400561
This is my plan. At least have a chance of living past 30 this way
>>5399304
If you want to waste money, then yeah, go for it.
Denial. Too guyish/low self esteem to think I'd ever look good enough pass. I got to a point where I had to do something about it or destroy myself with drugs.
>>5400663
Yeah I think I will just stick with spiro
>>5398824
Well, I guess I'm one. Was ready to transition at 18, even self-medded a bit with birth control pills and OTC progesterone cream, but gatekeeping was brutal back then: no HRT or SRS for anyone under 25, and none at all if you weren't their "homosexual male" type. Really backwards. After that, well, got hit badly by the suicide of the woman I loved and work only made things worse. So I guess being trans ended up buried under depression and PTSD. Didn't completely give up, kept long hair, wore androgynous clothes from the women's section every day simply because they were a better fit... But I didn't make any progress towards a proper transition.
So my current transition, started at 35 two years ago, was a last ditch effort to survive. The transition went really, the surviving, not so much, nearly starved myself to death following occupational burn out... No easy fix for that. So I'll fix what's easy first: I'm getting SRS, a bit of FFS and my complete ID change in a few months. No big hopes, but having the right ID will let me go stealth once and for all, which should make my life easier than over the fifteen years I wasted trying to pass as a man and failing, at the very least.
Lol, not using hormone blockers pre puberty makes you a 100% hon, and thus a late transitioner.
>>5398824
Probably never will. Just going to force myself not to jump off a cliff, or something.
>>5398824
autism meant i didn't really join the dots about gender identity unless it was spelled out clearly to me. i didn't know there was any other way. i had no point of reference. so my dad nipped my effeminate behaviour in the bud early and made me feel ashamed to be that way.
i just suppressed it suppressed it suppressed it, so well that i was subconsciously suppressing it and the dyphoria was manifesting in other ways psychologically and somatically, because i had made it a blind spot in my head. i made the entire focus of my life to live as i deemed i ought to, and set ridiculously high standards for myself, and set myself up to fail.
medication allowed me to take a step back and assess my situation. all of the feelings i was stamping out and the crippling coping mechanisms now seemed so futile and ridiculous.
i just knew it had to end.
>>5400855
Your story sounds exactly like mine minus the autism.
and add borderline personality disorder.
>>5398824
Is 18 late? Mostly lack of knowledge that HRT, etc., was even a thing.
>>5402925
no you'll be fine unless you are a 6'5 cro-magnon
>>5400017
That's pretty sad desu. Sorry I don't see how you can be a real transgender after being so close to it and not realizing earlier. If I had anyome close to me be trans or even femme gay I would have figured out my own feelings very quickly.
I want to start, and I'm 26. I have hairy everything, shave my head daily, and I'm gaining weight every day. I smoke shit tons of weed and all conversations with my friends over the past few years have been nonsense. I'm empty and angry.
>>5404424
Honestly, I'd say quitting the crap you're smoking should be your first priority. Marijuana is the shittiest of all drugs. When you're out of the brain fog, maybe start thinking of transitioning.
>>5404453
It's definitely not my only problem. I'm stalky as fuck and have been losing my hair since 17. I'm at the end of my rope.
>>5404453
I've been trans since before I knew about sex. I know I'm trans, if that's what you're implying. I've only smoked since 24.
>>5404460
Maybe not the only one, but most likely your worst. Given what you've said about your mood and conversations, you're a prime candidate for schizophrenic decompensation. There's no turning back should it happen, and you definitely will have a hard time transitioning if it does. So, well, you know what to do.
Late transitioners, how well do you pass and how many months on HRT?
>>5404543
Two years on HRT, not counting the early tries when I was younger or the herbal stuff I took in-between to minimize T damage. I'd say I pass 100%, or pretty close. Been in a psychiatric clinic for a few months now and the place also does rehab, which means spending a lot of time locked up with pretty low specimens of humanity. Yet, no clocking, and no outing or misgendering from any of the staff either. I think that I'll be ready to go stealth and be yet another lonely and bitter crazy cat lady as soon as I get my full ID change, especially with the light FFS I'm getting along with SRS.
>>5404959
what FFS do you feel you need?
i feel i need rhinoplasty definitely, as well as getting rid of brow bossing.
i don't think my jaw is manly enough to require work and i definitely don't want a brow lift.
>>5404969
According to Chett, the whole range of available surgeries except the cheekbones part (mine are already exceedingly large and broad and make people wonder about my ethnic background) plus a face lift.
According to about everyone else, nothing.
As for me, I'll get a trachea shave and a lip lift along with SRS, and maybe a few things later that are less about FFS than pure cosmetic surgery. Like getting my wide jaw and crooked buttchin fixed. They're exactly the same as my great-grandmother so it's not really an issue of it looking male, just fixing something that's plain ugly. Then maybe getting my loose neck skin tightened while I'm there. I don't feel comfortable with nose and brow surgery. The former often looks blatantly fake and the latter is too risky for what it could do. No breast implants either. I wish I had boobs, but fake ones? Might as well keep wearing a wonderbra. Works just as well.
>>5405007
I know what you mean about some rhino surgery looking fake (so do brow lifts in my opinion which is why i'd avoid them), but in both procedures i'd want the bare minimum done. it's amazing how big a difference a subtle change can make.
it's obviously hard for us to appraise each others' plans without knowing what the other looks like.
wish you the best of luck.
>>5405029
Honestly, Chett's FFS appraisal sent me into the worst dysphoria crisis in a long time. That the nurse who tried to bring me back said she was jealous of my hair, my long legs and my smooth skin (that last part sounded as weird hearing it as typing it...) really didn't help.
So, I know I really don't look too bad for someone my age. I could look more feminine on pictures. But when I'm live in front of someone, they just don't seem to notice the male features at all. Even the obvious ones. When the clinic shrink asked me why I even bothered asking for a facial surgery assessment, I told her it was mostly what could be done about my Adam's apple. She said she'd never noticed I even had one until I pointed it out. Then again, a few years back, it took me months before noticing a friend I was spending a lot of time with had six fingers on her left hand.
>>5405109
Chett is a dick. Don't let them turn you into an alien!
>>5405109
>Honestly, Chett's FFS appraisal sent me into the worst dysphoria crisis in a long time.
This is going to happen to me too, isn't it?
>>5404543
Just started month 8. I don't think I pass, but I can look cute. People tell me I pass, but why ask me about trans if you can't tell?
>>5405113
Not a dick, really. Just a cold professional who knows what he can do. I met a French plastic surgeon at a trans health symposium who had the same outlook: they can totally redefine someone's face and they think it can only improve the patient's life.
My worse features are either typical from my family or the area I come from. I really look like a cis woman from my home region, except for height: most women there nearly are midgets...
>>5405122
Probably. He's really aiming for perfection in those assessments. On the other hand, if there's a procedure he doesn't mention, you really don't have to worry about that part of your face.
