Can someone please explain this to me?
Why do trans people care whether the person they're dating identifies as straight or gay?
They don't want the other person to date them just because they have a vagina
>tfw ftm
>dated a transwoman
>she only wanted me for my feminine body
>told my friend that her dick couldnt tell the difference between me and a cis girl
>>5374460
I'm trans, don't really care what the person identifies as so long as they're awesome to be around
>>5374554
you realize most people's sexual orientations are physiological rather than sociological, right?
>>5374665
Set in the structure of the neurons in the reptile brain.
>>5374460
Because if, for example, you're mtf and your partner identifies as being attracted to men, then it means they don't view you as a woman
I consider myself gay, but I like a lot of different body types, really. I do find girls attractive sometimes, it's only that I don't like big boobs or vaginas that stops me from dating them. Therefore, I'm not really interested in dating a trans man because they don't have a dick, but transwomen are fine because the dick makes them sexually compatible with me in a way that cis women are not. It's not like I actually consider them men or anything. Is that bad?
>>5374728
I'm just saying I can understand both sides of the problem. It seems like trans people can only really date bisexuals who respect their pronouns.
>>5374744
If you dated a trans girl would you be open to treating her as completely female in social situations, like introducing her to your friends and family as a woman, and so on? What if she started transitioning with hormone therapy and/or surgery? You'd need to have a really clear understanding between yourselves. Being trans isn't the same thing as being a drag queen.
>>5374763
I wouldn't date one that wasn't comfortable with her dick for obvious reasons, but I also would be respectful enough not to actually call myself gay if I were dating one. That would just make it obvious that she were trans and that's really rude.
>>5374460
Because the partner is usually disrespectful. For example if you're ftm and your partner is straight male, he will usually treat you like a girl, not like a man. It's just too much bullshit to deal with in a relationship.
>>5374802
You sound like a very considerate person, Anon. I hope that your path through life is strewn with other such excellent people.
>>5374865
Can you clarify this a little bit? How does someone "treat you like a man?"
I'm a gay guy, not attracted to female bodies at all. I'd like to have sex and date a trans guy but I'm afraid I'm some kind of chaser. If he was insecure about his genitals (i.e. vagina being totally off-limits, only wanting to top, etc.), it'd be quite a turn-off.
I don't think we're the ones that prompt this crisis.
Maybe the person in OP's image should just go after transwomen.
>>5374953
Yes, exactly, you are gay, a normal gay man. Normal people are primarily attracted to secondary sex characteristics. While people certainly have preferences, if you were only attracted to primary sex characteristics, you would be at risk of being a paedophile.
>>5374878
That's kind of you, but I don't think anyone should put up with anything less than that. I certainly wouldn't.
I know firsthand how dysphoria feels.
>>5374992
>Normal people are ONLY attracted to secondary sex characteristics
>Only pedophiles and psychopaths are attracted to primary sex characteristics
jesus christ tranny, kill yourself.
If you don't want people to dictate what your gender to be as, why the fuck do you dictate to people what they should or shouldn't be attracted to?!
>>5374928
Treating you like an intellectual equal, rough housing, appropriate insults or compliments
For example saying "you're so tiny" to a cis girl would be a compliment. Straight guys say it to trans men thinking it'll be viewed as a compliment because they view them as girls, but you would never say something so degrading to another man unless you know it's a thing he's into.
This is just my experience dating one straight guy, and meeting tons of disgusting chasers online who really just have a tomboy fetish.
>>5375014
Read what I said, not your greentexting. Do I need to explain puberty and becoming an adult to you?
>>5375040
I just don't like how transpeople like you try to tell others what they should be attracted to.
>>5375060
I'm not telling you much of anything other than people are attracted to features associated more with how they look as adults than from how they were born. So attraction to adults regardless of genitalia is not something to have an identity crisis over, which sadly obviously still isn't uncommon.
Am I truly being extreme here?
>>5375074
I'm not gonna resort to namecalling by telling you how you're a man, not a woman and blah blah blah.
But if you want me to respect your gender, then it'd help if you respected people who aren't interested in the traits that transpeople have.
>>5375085
Then you don't date us, right? That works out perfectly, but how did you end up on this thread?
>>5375080
is it so hard to believe that alot of adults want BOTH the secondary and primary characteristics they're attracted to in a person?
Sure, trans people tend to blur the lines but let's face it, transguys who don't pass will attract straight guys and gay girls. Transgirls who don't pass will attract bi men and bi women.
>>5375023
>treating you like an intellectual equal
this is bad??? what the fuck, why would you want someone to treat you like you're stupid? How many cis girls even want that unless they have some serious self esteem issues or a weird fetish?
>>5374653
Same but it doesn't remove the concern that if you're dating a straight girl she might lose interest if you want to get srs or you're dating a gay girl she might lost interest because you got a cack.
>>5375100
I acknowledged people have preferences aside from secondary sex characteristics, but they are still what people are primarily attracted to--as they are you know, the nature of their adulthood--you really need to read what I said.
Trans men who don't pass most typically look like pre-pubescent boys or like adult women, due to lack of or presence of secondary sex characteristics not typically correspondent with how they identify still existing before HRT. Yes, it is better to respect their gender in how you identify the sexuality of the relationship if you want them to continue wanting to date you. It sounds like you don't date trans people or any type tho, so again, refer to OP and ask yourself why you are here.
To answer the OP as best I can, a lot of us are just a bit on guard and often do screen people because we often don't always like being whimsical disposable fetishes every single time.
If you identify yourself as attracted to something other than how we identify, how are we supposed to expect that we have a serious role in the relationship and aren't merely being objectified?
>>5374992
>if you were only attracted to primary sex characteristics, you would be at risk of being a paedophile.
No, pedos are attracted to young pre puberty bodies, not sexual characteristics.
>>5374992
lolwut? @all that (lack of) logic. You do realize that an adult's genitalia and a prepubescent child's genitalia look different don't you?
>you would be at risk of being a paedophile.
I'm pretty sure that you either are or you are not a pedophile, once you get past a certain age at least unless you think to you are chatting to someone on 4chan that is under 3 years old.
I would venture to say that most "normal" ppl look at both primary and secondary sex characteristics
I personally believe that people can be attracted to anything, be it genitals or physical appearance in general. What one identifies as is their own business, imho labels are a bit stupid since they put limits on you and then you have go through a struggle when you like someone who isn't what you thought you exclusively liked.
I dated a guy once who had no problem with me looking like a guy or using male pronouns around me or calling me his bf when with me, but when he talked to other people about me he wouldn't do that and he identifies as a straight man. I'll tell you why this hurt, even though it's none of my business what he sees himself as and labels are just words. when i meet someone i have to decide whether to out myself or not, mainly because i fear violence and some days i don't bind etc. because i'm lazy and it takes time and is somewhat uncomfortable, still i could technically pass. when he says to people that he's dating me and talks about me like i'm a girl, i don't get to decide whether or not this person is worth my trust before even meeting them. it is very hard to tell a person that you are trans/[insert gender] if they have formed a picture of you in their head already.
I label myself as bi/pan (because i like masculinity in general) but i prefer penises and i don't know if i could ever even touch someone's vagina. I can't label myself as gay because gay men have been mean to me about it and have made it clear that they couldn't see me as one. like there was a gay court or something that decided who gets to be gay or not! I have no problem if someone says that wow you look fine to me but i wouldn't like to fuck you because you know, you lack something.
My current boyfriend is awesome though, i've known him before i figured out i was ftm and he took his time to get used to it. i will never know how he really sees me in his head and none of you will either. you should be okay with this.
>>5375224
>I would venture to say that most "normal" ppl look at both primary and secondary sex characteristics
It is the secondary ones. The dick and vagina are fairly hidden from view. All those body differences between typical males and typical females are the secondary characteristics.
>>5374460
As a transgirl I like dating FtM a lot because of the mutual understanding. I genuinely don't mind the genitals. Yeah, it's a shame there's no dick transplant but don't think I'm going to start topping when you can use a strap-on. Besides, if you freeze sperm then there's the potential for kids.
Also OP, it's not about confusion with orientation labeling but gender labeling. Gay men and straight women don't date transguys because there's no penis. Straight men and gay women treat FtMs like women.
>>5375297
>>5375362
>boohoo straight guys and gay women treat FtMs like women waaahhh
>gay men don't like me because I have no penis waaahhh
can we talk seriously for a sec about reality and how transexuals react to it?
If you
>Don't Pass
>aren't a hairy ass man looking thing
>look like a chub faced woman
guess what?! Everyone will see you as a girl. Not just straight guys and gay girls. Everyone. You're not a man, don't fucking kid yourself. If you don't sound like one, don't look like one, well congratulations, lady with a vagina and tits, you're a woman. No amount of binding, or failing to pass on T will hide the fact that you're a bonified DFAB woman.
If you don't pass as a transwoman, guess what? Only bi/gay in denial men will chase after you. Got a penis? A deep voice? A manly ass face? You are a DMAB man.
That's the truth. That's how people will treat you everywhere that isn't a SJW safe space circle.
>>5375407
Of course if you look like a woman people will instinctively believe you're a woman. You should learn to distinguish the mind from the body in the way you treat people. Most people don't, and most people simply can't when it comes to attraction. You can see past someone's body when it comes to interaction but not when it comes to love.
>>5375347
>>5375347
In public they are hidden but not in private.
You are making the (imo incorrect) assumption that just because genitals are fairly hidden from view that people don't think about genitals and they that don't play a significant role for the majority of ppl of what defines attractiveness. Why do think it's such an issue for trans ppl revealing that they don't have the genitals that most ppl would assume that they have?
Lurk this board and the sub-boards /generals... there is plenty of talk about genitals. Outside of this board, cis hetero women will "size up" a man based on his penis. Cis hetero men will find a woman unattractive because of how her vulva looks. Why does porn exist if not because a lot of ppl want/desire/like to see genitals?
>>5375121
Men don't treat women like equals.
I'm not saying I condone it or that it's fair, but that's how a lot of people are.
>>5375525
That doesn't make it desirable...
