I got drunk and had sex with one of my friends - he was not drunk.
I can't remember much of the night - and I can't remember who initiated it. I just know that I never found this person sexually attractive and I would never want to have sex with them if I were sober.
But I can't remember if I initiated it. I just remember having sex - and I didn't say no. But I couldn't even control myself, I could barely stand up - I didn't know what was happening. I felt like he was guiding me and I wasn't in control of my actions.
Looking back at it I feel sick to my stomach - because I went into the night not wanting to have sex with anyone (and making a point of it) and I ended up somehow having sex with a friend.
I don't want to be one of those people who has a crazy night out and cries rape afterwards because they're ashamed - but I feel he took advantage of me - he knows I'm not attracted to him. It just sucks that I can't remember any of it.
What should I do? I haven't told any of my friends because I'm afraid I might be over-analyzing.
I've always been of the mindset that if you say yes, its yes, even if you're drunk. But now I realize how wrong I may have been. I didn't want to have sex at all - and somehow I did.
>>5351358
Yeah bruh, that's rape. If one member of the party was drunk and the other wasn't, I'm pretty sure-legally speaking- that's rape.
But what you prob should do is call him out on his shit. If you feel like you can't confront him- a shared emotion amongst many sexually abused individuals regarding their abusers- then seek help amongst your friends and make sure that this nigga gets taken to court or something.
Whatever you do to this cunt, make sure to take care of yourself. You did nothing wrong. Get yourself into therapy or counseling, maybe hit up a shrink if it's getting real bad, but otherwise, that's all I can tell you.
I've been through this, and some of my friends have too. If you need anything else, just ask.
>>5351358
>>5351358
Yeah that's not rape. You had consensual sex while drunk that you now regret. It happens.
Realize that you were the one that put yourself in this position by drinking too much. If you consent while drunk you still consented. If you feel that you weren't in control of your actions, you should not have put yourself in that state.
You should still talk to your friend about it and tell him he made you uncomfortable. It's not rape though.
If you were drunk and he wasn't, that is rape...what you do next is up to you. You could report him, you could go talk to him, you could fuck him up. This is why I don't take drugs...
But yeah man. It was definitely rape.
>>5351389
>If one member of the party was drunk and the other wasn't, I'm pretty sure-legally speaking- that's rape.
Only if the one that's drunk is a woman. :^)
>>5351654
No...you got it wrong. If you have sex with a woman and you are a male - regardless of whether or not either one of you is drunk, that is rape.
>>5351688
Damn, you got me there.
>>5351358
>I got drunk, made shitty decisions and regret it
It's only rape if you are a woman. (But pretty much all sex is rape if you're a woman)
>>5351358
>I got drunk
Stopped reading there. Take responsibility for your actions.
>get drunk
>hit a kid driving home
>b-but it's not my fault!
>>5353567
he said he thinks his friend guided him towards actually having sex. that isn't comparable to drunk driving, wherein you have to make the bad decision yourself. people can pressure you into driving, but it's nearly impossible to actually force you to make the motions of driving.
at the end of the day it just comes down to whether or not you view consent under the influence as the same as consent while fully sober.
imo it was probably rape. he said that he specifically did not want to have sex. he remembers barely being able to function. he definitely didn't find that person attractive and wouldn't have initiated sex with while sober.
saying "he was drunk so it's his fault" is stupid because rape is an active crime; his friend actively encouraged and helped him engage in intercourse while he was not able to properly give consent. it was rape
>>5351709
This can't be real
>>5351709
Well if you had actually checked your privilege you would have known, you chauvinist pig.
I hope you learned your lesson.
>>5353594
>active crime
What the fuck is this nonsense? Is there some kind of crime you can commit passively?
You are still responsible for your actions when you are drunk. Alcohol lowers your inhibitions. Sure, you probably wouldn't have had sex with that guy sober. You also wouldn't have done a kegstand sober or got in a bar fight sober. Calling this rape cheapens actual rape.
>>5351358
It's interesting how all of these rape bait threads start with long stories. The premise of getting drunk and regretting your actions is clearly not rape. BUT if you talk long enough about your feels people will eventually believe it's rape. It's like you wear down human reason with bullshit. Fascinating. OP.
>>5355214
Can U not.
OP said exactly what you did. Maybe if you were more literate and actually read the whole post you wouldn't make a complete idiot of yourself.
>>5351358
>and I didn't say no
not rape. dont ruin someones life because you were careless
>>5356453
Aggressively stupid people like you give humble, wise idiots a bad name.
>>5351358
Did you resist, is very important question here? Did you find the dea during the act in any way negative?
If you answered to both yes, then it's rape
>>5356522
Fix'd
>Did you feel during the act any negative emotions?
>>5356540
>>Did you feel during the act any negative emotions?
>I said yes but then while he was inside of me I didn't like his breath and changed my mind
>of course I didn't tell him he should be able to read my mind
>if sex isn't 100% perfect and doesn't make me feel like a unicorn riding a rainbow through a cloud of butterflies while a soft harp plays in the background it's rape
>>5351358
It's not rape. You got drunk and woke up to billy beta bux instead of an alpha big deal. I hope you walk down the street and have some Hobo with Tuberculosis smash you eye socket and hold a rusty knife to your throat demanding sex.
People like you are a spit in the face of actual victims. Not all sex is perfect.
It might have been rape, might not have been, but you can't really charge him with it considering you can't prove it beyond reasonable doubt. If he had been loading drinks into you all night then yeah, maybe it's a lot sketchier.
I DO think he took advantage of you, though. Like some making out, even some fondling when drunkard comes onto you? Sure.If you're sober and somebody is so drunk they can't fucking walk without hitting the floor, yeah, you're a fucking scumbag. I would call him out on his shit, if you have the courage. Make it clear you're not going to the police (You are warranted to go to the police, mind you, but if you don't) but he needs to know that shit isn't okay. If you had only had two or three drinks, sure, whatever. But blackout drunk? Nah, that's fucked. Even if he doesn't get charged- Which if he keeps pulling that shit eventually he will, he can seriously fuck someone up psychologically. I would tell him now you don't even feel like you can get wasted with your mates now without having to worry about being taken advantage of.
A lot of people who do this shit don't really understand they could fuck someone up. He might not be a rapist but he's a scumbag and a shit friend.
Decide whether or not you want to forgive him, whether or not you want to continue being friends, and whether or not you want to hear his side of the story.
>>5356773
>>5357836
>>5358080
This is OP and I've had a couple days to think about it. I understand what bad sex is like, I've had bad sex before - and I've had sex with ugly people and I never considered it to be rape. I regretted having sex and wondered about STDs but I never ever considered those encounters to be rape - because I knew I was in control of my actions and I knew what I was getting myself into.
>>5357836
I understand what you are saying because I feel the exact same way. I know this isn't nearly as bad as someone who is forcefully raped. I didn't get physically hurt during this encounter. And I do feel like I am spitting in the face of actual victims and that's why I came here to ask instead of asking friends or whatever. I asked a question, I didn't say I was raped. I'm not here for attention. I have a legitimate concern.
I had put so much trust into this person that night. I told him I wanted to have a fun night out and I told him I didn't want to have sex with anyone. He was sober so he could take care of me. That was the agreement going in.
I couldn't even muster the courage to talk to him about it let alone go to an authority figure.
anyway, thanks for the help.
>>5351358
thats hot.
