I want bf.
I want a burly, stocky, manly bf who will appear intimidating and hostile on the outside, but will actually be quite shy and affectionate. I want him to be able to pick me up and carry me, and I want to be able to bury my head in his chest while I have my arms around him, squeezing him while feeling his warmth and taking his scent. I want someone who will love me and want me to be there - someone who NEEDS me, as much as I need him.
I want someone who won't leave me.
>>5308634
Jesus, dude. Could you be just a little more homo about this?
>>5308634
Just out of curiosity, do you have daddy issues in any shape or form? Cause I'm in the same boat as you and I feel like this particular feeling stems from issues I've had since childhood.
can't you just, be the bf yourself?
>>5308663
>daddy issues
Maybe, I don't know. I have no idea what daddy issues would entail. I mean, my father's always been there...
>>5308677
No. That's impossible.
>>5308691
No, it's not.
>>5308634
What are you offering? He would need to need something you can give. Can you build robots? Milk a goat? Are you a good person?
>>5308704
I can listen.
>>5308691
Not gonna force anything from you, but I can tell you that it's definitely possible that you have developed father-related issues without being aware of them. For me, it was only a few months ago that I realized my childhood hadn't always been pleasant, which basically accounts for most of the problems I've developed over the years (been taking therapy sessions since the start of this semester while on a medical leave from school). I don't know what your relationship with your dad is like, but if you really would like to know more, you can answer a couple questions (totally up to you, of course):
1. Do you talk to your father fairly often? Do you enjoy having conversations with him?
2. Have you developed general symptoms of depression/anxiety?
3. What is/was life like back at home? This concerns your time inside your house, not the city it resides in, your school nearby, etc.
I can say for a fact that I do have some attraction towards men that seems to fit the bill for a good caretaker that doesn't exactly seem romantic or sexual. To me, I just want a man who will provide a familial bond in a way, someone who can take me under his wing, show genuine love without abusive tendencies, and just act as a "father" to me (it sickens me to type that).
Didn't mean to write up a blogpost, sorry about that.
>>5308751
In response
>1. Do you talk to your father fairly often? Do you enjoy having conversations with him?
Well, I talk to him fairly often because I still live with my parents. And I don't particularly enjoy having conversations with him - mostly, I see him (and most of my family) as boring, and I only talk to them because I have no one to talk to. I'd much rather talk with my one (only) friend and with other friends (that I wish I had).
>2. Have you developed general symptoms of depression/anxiety?
I've always had depression. Don't know about anxiety - I had friends and an ex-bf who claimed to have anxiety, they'd freeze and space out or just get on the floor and go into some catatonic space, or have attacks where they'd just... well, I don't know. I've never had anything like that, so I'll have to say no to anxiety.
>3. What is/was life like back at home? This concerns your time inside your house, not the city it resides in, your school nearby, etc.
Unpleasant. Mother always had mood swings and got mad over every little thing, father was distant in my early youth but that changed eventually. I wanted to leave home since high school, and got my chance when I went to university. Now I've graduated, and I'm still living at home, and I want to move out, but I don't have the money.
And I don't want a caretaker, in the way you describe it. I don't want to be provided for. I'll be completely honest with you, for being honest with me. I think I have a messiah complex. I want someone to 'save': someone who will look at me and see a person who took them in and gave them a chance at life again, and love. But I also want them to be manly and masculine.
How I remember my ex - a manly hunk that was vulgar and rough and tough and intimidating (he looked like a muscled skinhead), but who also slept with his teddy bears at night and would sometimes call me crying and who wanted me to top him.
Ah-h-h-h, maybe what I want is him.
>>5308790
Well, definitely doesn't seem like you have daddy issues, but I can see that your issues seem to come from somewhere else.
If it's not too much to ask, are you able to remember your preferences before you met your ex? Don't want to falsely convince you or anything, but it can easily be him and experiences related to him that have developed these thoughts of yours.
>>5308810
I remember before my ex, I didn't really have any preferences. I would just like one man here, and then another one there. I don't remember, Anon.
I used to have a crush on this white Mexican in high school, he had a distinctive face; in college, I had two crushes - one on a white, burly, football player from east Texas (who would have kicked my ass if he'd known), and later, with a fat, brown Mexican (though, to be honest, I really regret having crushed on him).
And then, as I said, my bf was a white guy, with blue eyes. He was bald (shaved), and he was muscular and burly, what one would call a musclegut. He was also tall, and had an intimidating look about him.
>>5308832
just start transitioning already.
>>5308840
Why would I? I like being male.
