So recently at the age of 24 I’ve stopped repressing and come to terms with being a tranny. now I am waiting to get money to buy hormones at the end of the month. I am happy to start dealing with my dysphoria. However, recently whenever I see an attractive cis girl I get this incredible feeling of being punched in the gut. It feels like the world is playing a cruel joke on me and saying “you will never be like her”. I know this is probably jealousy but it feels more like a massive sadness than a spiteful envy. I get the same feeling but allot worse when I see pictures of passable Trans girls, this time the world is saying “this could have been you! if you started earlier..”.
Is this a normal feeling for trannys? Will hormones and transition make this feeling fuck off? If I deal with my dysphoria will my jealousy of cis girls weaken at all? I worry that it might get worse and turn me into a miserable fuck. I am scared.
>>6510824
Those feelings are pretty universal among trans people, and there's a good chance managing your dysphoria will help with them.
But, if transitioning is going to help you at all, you really need to be okay with yourself. You may never look how you want if you hold yourself up to everyone else, I would say the same to a cis woman and it's something most women go through at some point, trans or not.
There is a lot you can do to look more female to everyone else but unless you can stop judging yourself it won't help you
>>6510824
Welcome to the world of being an ugly girl. Why do you think stereotypical fat, uggo feminazis are so angry?
>>6510905
>being an ugly girl
I don't think its that simple. I wouldn't mind being an ugly girl, i just don't want to be what i am now.
I see cis girls and think that have such bliss and joy in their minds, everything about them is so easy to love. I feel my heart implode because i want everything they have. Fuck I want it now.
>It feels like the world is playing a cruel joke on me and saying “you will never be like her”
You won't and never will, no matter what the quack doctors who want your money will say.
>I get the same feeling but allot worse when I see pictures of passable Trans girls
It's all smoke and mirrors, lighting and angles. Like 2% of trans earnestly pass, and even in the rare cases of absolute stealth, medical and legal history will follow you so somebody will always know.
>Will hormones and transition make this feeling fuck off?
Nope.
>I worry that it might get worse and turn me into a miserable fuck.
It will.
Give up and back out now while you still can. This road will not work out like you think it will, and will destroy your life. If you're male and have gender dysphoria, it's basically the kiss of death, the only thing you can do is to just try and forget about it or take your mind off it however you can. Chasing the impossible dream to make yourself female (or whatever you think "female" is) will only lead to absolute madness and self-destruction, because you cannot achieve it. Consider yourself warned. It's criminal that actual medical professionals enable this self-destruction too.
>>6511185
b..but if i repress again i will only break down latter on when my bell goes off.
>>6510824
I wish you luck OP. I hope everything works out for you. I bet that the jealousy will lessen when you feel better about yourself.
>>6510824
OP, I feel the same way. I'm literally at the same imposition of waiting to get money so I can go get hormones myself. The only major difference is I'm 21.
And yeah--the odds are that neither one of us will ever be beauty queens, but you know what? We'll look alright. Sure, we might not be drop-dead gorgeous--but most women aren't.
I just know that I'd rather be an 'okay' looking woman than any level of man. If men happen to turn heads, then that's wonderful. If not--well you know what? I'll be okay, because I know I'll be who I was meant to be.
Also...
>>6511185
So what if somebody knows? It's not about what other people think--it's about being able to be happy in her own body.
>>6511185
>you cannot achieve it
I see this as irrelevant. What matters making progress towards becoming the person you want to be, no matter how distant that goal.
>>6510824
>Is this a normal feeling for trannys?
Yep.
>Will hormones and transition make this feeling fuck off?
Not really. Though, if you do end up really pretty, I imagine it's lessened a bit.
>If I deal with my dysphoria will my jealousy of cis girls weaken at all?
Potentially a little.
>I worry that it might get worse and turn me into a miserable fuck.
If you're trans you'll be a miserable fuck, that's how these things work.
Pewdiepie on Skidrow.
>>6510824
Why are trannies always so fixated on impossible beauty standards as if it's so.ething logistically possible to strive for? You can't just be happy being a girl, no you want to be the prettiest girl ever. Just be real with yourself, having impossible high standards is the sure fire way to never being happy.
>>6511185
t. kayla
>>6512769
It's because we, for most of our transition, NEED to raise our beauty and personal standards wayyy higher than they were before, and adapt to the realities of living as female. When we do everything we possibly can, then, and only then, we can start the arduous process of self-acceptance.
>>6510824
It really depends on how things go for you and how your worldview changes, OP.
To answer your question: yes, even if you never pass, it could easily get better or go away entirely, but it's going to depend on you.
Hormones made the feelings not be as bad, that's for sure. What made them go entirely away was me realizing that even though I wasn't passing as a girl I was qt as fuck and not masculine at all. I just went femboy mode and never looked back. Now I don't care about not being a girl because I get to be this really cute boy who gets attention and treated like I'm delicate and all that shit and for some reason this satisfies me.
If you can't pass you just have to find some happy place.
i can pretty much deal with not being the prettiest, girliest girl on planet (i'm quite certain i won't end up as a total hon, my body is quite small and delicate considering testosterone puberty happened), the thing that hurts me the most is that no matter how well i succeed in passing, if i get srs and get a normal looking neovag that people couldn't clock, there's no way in todays medical standards that i could develop vaginal muscles, womb to carry future kids etc. well technically yes womb transplants are starting to happen, dunno if it's ever going to be allowed to trans folk but like a neovag could be able to pop a baby out.
tl;dr no matter how hard we try, to live 100% normal cis life as a girl is impossible :-(
>>6510824
Just need to keep in mind that their looks will gradually fade as their cells age. It is inevitable. Use your brain, and plan for the long term. Learn to program. You can be pretty in virtual reality.
>>6510824
Coming to terms with is not starting hormone. It's accepting you are a man and always will be.
It's about living life as a man and making sure you live a respectable life
>>6510824
>However, recently whenever I see an attractive cis girl I get this incredible feeling of being punched in the gut
Get used to this. It's going to happen a lot for the next 3-6 years, and even when you've settled down a bit, it'll never go away for good.
>It feels like the world is playing a cruel joke on me and saying “you will never be like her”
You won't. Pump hormones into yourself for years, spend all your money on surgery, train your voice until your ears want to commit seppuku, and if you're lucky (and your genetics aren't total shit/you don't already look like a grown man) you might get close to it, though.
>Is this a normal feeling for trannys?
Very yes.
>Will hormones and transition make this feeling fuck off?
Only very slightly.
>If I deal with my dysphoria will my jealousy of cis girls weaken at all?
Only very slightly.
>I worry that it might get worse and turn me into a miserable fuck.
It'll get a lot worse before it gets better (and only if it gets better).
Good luck anon, and welcome to the tranny train. It's the worst fucking ride of your life.
>>6520255
Wan't to bet?
>>6520297
>welcome to the tranny train. It's the worst fucking ride of your life.
It can't be worse than staying a man forever
>>6520297
>>6522181
>>6522140
>>6520255
>>6520297
>Good luck anon, and welcome to the tranny train. It's the worst fucking ride of your life.
Hearing this shit from all of you makes me wonder? Is it even better than living as a man and numbing the pain with drugs?
>>6527583
They just haven't found their zen mode yet. Many of them would find their lives to improve many times over if they would just accept femboy mode and realize that while not being able to be a girl sucks, being a qt femboy is a whole lot better than nothing.
>>6510824
>stopped repressing and come to terms with being a tranny
Now this sort of mental gymnastics just pisses me off. This is the same thing kids are told about sexual identity.
You didn't "stop repressing" anything. For a long time you wanted to be a tranny, and finally MADE A DECISION to do it
I get tired of this bullshit narrative among lgbt people. "I didn't have any choice, therefore I shouldn't be held responsible for my decisions.I am going to announce to the world that l like sucking cocks/wearing a dress, that way when I get negative reactions, I can claim it's other peoples fault for not accepting my deliberate decision to behave publicly in a way that makes a majority of people uncomfortable socially.
"Im not responsible because I was 'repressing' feelings I didn't have any control over, therefore society MUST pardon me or I have a license to call them bigots and cry that I am their victim.
Im as big a faggot as there ever was. But goddammit, take some fucking responsibility. We choose how we behave with full knowledge of the social repercussions.
And why does it piss me off? Because its the same willful abandonment of responsibility that criminals cite : "I just can't help myself. I have no control over what I do or feel"
But much more than that, it requires a full abandonment of reason.
And thats how we end up with these twisted narratives like lesbians and middle aged men who didn't "know they were always gay" their whole life because of some asinine gene theory that, for some reason, took decades before they realized it was there.
>>6527630
>repression and denial are not real phenomena
truely brilliant my led
>>6527630
... Or bisexuals that claim they are biologically compelled to reject monogamy while some straight guy who's married to a brunette but prefer blonds would never get a pass if he cheated on his wife for his deliberate decision to act on feelings.
Screw who you want. But leave this pusillanimous mewing about 'repression' at the door, thank you very much, and just admit you are making a personal decision because its what you want and whatever social values you had tethering you to social compatibility were tossed overboard so you could behave how you want.
I dont care what you choose. But if you want respect, just admit it is a choice, not some biological compulsion as if 'coming out' as something were some biological need for equilibrium. No one is twisting your arm to do it, and you shouldn't demand society make a path for you just because you've made a decision others wont like.
Have the balls to say you like dicks or wearing skirts because you fucking feel like it and its nobody elses goddam concern. Dont retreat into this babble about 'repression' just because the social consequences will be negative.
Courage is doing what you want despite social disapproval and asserting your personal liberty to be whoever the hell you damn well wish to be. Its not making the decision and then blaming bullshit theories to hide behind as if you were some helpless mutant demanding "tolerance" as code for pity.
24 is probably too late to start
if you're sexually attracted to women, do not transition (including bisexual)
perhaps you'll make it, but coddling you won't do you any favors in that regard, life will suck, transition isn't always the answer
>>6527665
24 isn't too late with the right starting settings. I'm a femboy who started at 25 and who at 27 gets confused for a girl far too often. My voice is the only thing making me get regularly identified as male anymore.
>>6527633
You cant *decide* and then *act* to transition to something if you already are something. Repression referrs to repressing feelings or thoughts, not an entire state of being.
She can say she is repressing what she wants, thats fine. But you cant say you always were something and *now* are going to also become it simultaneouslyy.
This sort of rejection of logic is a horrible place to start tweaking your identity because it enables you to start tossing reason overboard for everything until you are at a point where you are not only surprised that suddenly after 60 years of holding it in, you find out people dont like anatomical males in the womens restroom, but actually have to fake confusion as to how this 'suddenly' came to be.
>>6527697
you're not making sense my fam
>>6527720
"Denial is the most predictable of all human responses."
You cant become something you already are. You can't simultaneously repress something you *are* and then make a decision to become the same thing.
I just dropped this back 6 grade levels of discussion. Now the arguments will start there and abrubtly end before we ever get back to my expounded explanation just so people can complain it doesnt make any sense.
As the saying goes, "You cannot wake someone who is only pretending to be asleep."
Its interesting that trans always come out of their closet as "trans". They never say they are coming out as women. Its as if even they dont expect people to suspend disbelief to accept their premise.
Its not that anyone reading what I said is too dumb to understand it. Its that they are dumb enough to think that I am going to be fooled into thinking that saying you can become something you already are is too difficult to understand.
And if it were possible, then what exactly is the decision? How do you *decide* to become something you already are? What exactly was being repressed, and if you are doing something about it, then you are saying you are no longer 'repressed'.
Its just further dicking with the language to imply confusion and vagaries where there are none. Some people require facts and logic to seem abstruse, to shroud reality in ersatz mystery where there is none.
>>6527583
Don't let these shitters dissuade you from becoming who you want to be. Yes, it IS better. Push ahead and grab happiness by the throat.
>>6527665
>24 is probably too late to start
It's amazing how quickly this happens. I remember thinking as a small child "when I turn 18 I'll get on hormones." And then I repressed, and I procrastinated for a little bit, and before I knew it, BAM, I was too old to ever be beautiful. However, I'm still going to do it.
I'm bisexual, maybe, but I'm finding as I embrace my female identity that men are actually a lot more attractive to me, desu
>>6527697
That you don't know what the term "transition" refers to indicates only your weak grasp on semantics, nothing more.
>>6527640
>denying biological basis for transsexuality
>>6511185
Trans person on HRT presenting as male(MtF) here. One year HRT. Just being on HRT has made me feel better in general. Even if you choose to never try to pass as female it still makes a world of difference. My life has improved in almost every way possible since I started, both professional and personal. Don't listen to this guy op.
>>6512769
Why does the artisan obsessively labor over their craft? Because they care about their work and want to make the best work of art they can.
Also cuz we need to try really hard to not look like men in dresses lol
>>6510824
>Is this a normal feeling for trannys?
Yes.
>Will hormones and transition make this feeling fuck off?
No.
>If I deal with my dysphoria will my jealousy of cis girls weaken at all?
No.
>I worry that it might get worse and turn me into a miserable fuck.
It will.
>I am scared.
You should be.
You need therapy.
Sincerely,
A passable, though still misserable spiteful, tranny.
Tl;dr:
Hormones will make you feel better about it, but won't take the feelings away completely, waiting will only make it even worse
>>6530453
+if you can't pass, being a femboy is the next best thing
