/lgbt/, FtM here. I was wondering if some of the males around here could help me out.
I've recently gotten my hormones, about a month ago to be exact. I've come out to everyone, and I even present as male 24/7, though people still think I'm prepubescent, that'll change soon enough. I've wanted to be a man for as long as I can remember, but recently I've been having some issues figuring out the type of man I want to be.
Quite often people will tell me to man up, or act more like a man. This always confuses me. I mean, I feel like a man, so isn't this how a man acts? Thing is, changes in my behavior don't seem to really fix whatever problems people tell me to address. Being too emotional? Man up. Too quiet? Quit the tough guy act. Act brash and loud? You're an asshole. Just how exactly does everyone expect a man to act? A person cannot be silent, stoic, passionate, reserved, strong, and weak all at the same time.
And note, this isn't me complaining about male social roles. It's me being confused because society doesn't seem to know how it wants me to act. It's as though no behavior is actually acceptable.
I asked one of my close friends, a man 26 years old, what being a man is to him, and how he thinks a man should act. His answer:
> I don't know really. I'm still figuring it out.
> My dad told me when I was 13 that being a man is so much that one is only so by being so.
> Not really an answer but it's all I got.
> No one can really tell you. That's the thing, no matter how surrounded by people you are, you're still alone.
I don't get it /lgbt/. Help?
Questions:
> How do you "act like a man" ?
> What do you feel a man's social role is?
> What are things men mustn't do?
> What are things men are obligated to do?
> Describe how you view masculinity.
jus' b urself
>>5282999
Everyone has their own idea of what a man should be.
Base your masculine ideals on physical male traits.
Men are stronger than women, which means they exert more physical control of their environment. Take that further, be confident, be assertive. Remember that ultimately, you are in control.
Most people believe that men are less emotional than women but that isn't true. Men and women are just as emotional. Hormones make it harder for women to hide their emotion, and men tend to respond to stress more often with anger and women tend to respond more often with sadness to the same situations. Take that beyond the physical, and be less obvious with your emotional displays. Find good ways and good places to let out your emotions. Don't cry in public, don't cry in front of friends, don't let your anger get the best of you. You're a man, you're in control. Use physical outlets for your anger, vent your frustrations when you calm down, cry to your therapist or your special someone who is allowed to see that side of you.
Men have a stronger sex drive. Fucking for women is for fun, fucking for men is a need. Take control of the situation when you have sex by default. Be the leader. Penis is irrelevant, your behavior is what maters.
Men do not have periods, do not have to sit down to pee, and have greater endurance. Men are ready to jump into physical action at any time. Men are physically ready to travel and march as long as they need to. Take this into being prepared, and being practical. Make sure your hair never gets in your way. Make sure you can take care of yourself and others if need be. Prioritize practicality over vanity.
Remember that not all things that most guys do is good, not all things that most girls do is good either. A lot of the things that make a good man also make a good woman, be a good person above all else.
Copy these guys
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYJKd0rkKss
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ernest_Shackleton
>>5283013
Probably should have linked
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Voyage_of_the_James_Caird
instead of just shackletons page but whatever.
You shouldn't have to change your personality, just your mannerisms. Maybe you're just a pussy, plenty of guys are. I'm FTM and I was brash and aggressive long before I had gender doubts, nothing much changed.
>>5282999
> How do you "act like a man" ?
Just be you. Real niggas don't sweat the small stuff. Unless you're looking to "crush puss" as the kids say nowadays, there's no need to act like some raging testosterone monster 24/7
> What do you feel a man's social role is?
Who cares lol
> What are things men mustn't do?
If you mean as a guy, then don't go around slapping dudes butts unless you're good friends with them. Avoid that and you're golden
> What are things men are obligated to do?
Work I guess, don't know a single guy who is over 18 and jobless. Also I guess being somewhat tough or fit is expected of a man. At the very least good enough to defend yourself should a hoodlum attack thee
> Describe how you view masculinity.
The same as most. Bulging biceps, unkempt yet beautiful facial hair and the ability to shoot lasers from my hands.
Seriously though, don't feel pressured to act a certain way to be a "man". Men don't care about how "manly" they are unless they feel they have to compensate for something. Don't sweat the small stuff, live however you see fit and don't let obligations keep you from being the free spirit you are.
There isn't any one way for men or women to act. There are plenty of "manly" cis females and sissy cis males around.
>>5283027
>You shouldn't have to change your personality, just your mannerisms.
this desu. A lot of stuff is superficial, you just need to pick up on and imitate the habits of men around you. The same thing a cis boy does when he's a small child
Just do what feels right to you in the moment. Gauge your feelings as you go along and don't feel pressured to be anything that doesn't sound good to you. You might want to know what you should be like now, but just don't be afraid to let that change. You do you.
>>5282999
i´ll teach you to be a man, if you teach me how to be a girl.
>>5286055
Kek, as if either of you know.
MtF's don't know how to be men, they only know how to try to be men while being MtFs inside the whole time. FtM's vice-versa.
Blind leading the blind.
>>5286070
>MtF's don't know how to be men, they only know how to try to be men while being MtFs inside the whole time. FtM's vice-versa.
lol this
I started typing up advice but then I realized it was basically just "repress your emotions and be indifferent and bored-looking all the time" and that I have no business giving advice on masculinity
>>5286088
>repress your emotions and be indifferent and bored-looking all the time
Sounds familiar.
>>5286070
I know that, but maybe it could be fun :^)
>>5282999
drink beer while hyping up sports. no one will doubt you again
>>5286105
You'd think so, but it'd end up with everyone being dysphoric and crying and throwing stuff around and screaming "WHYYY?".
I was born with a dick and people have been telling me to man up all my life. I just kind of gave up and laugh it off when people say that kind of shit to me. Don't let them label you, just be who you want to be.
>>5282999
>. Being too emotional? Man up. Too quiet? Quit the tough guy act. Act brash and loud? You're an asshole.
Honestly, if this is what you are getting from people, you are doing it right actually. most men hear this shit their whole lives desu.
>>5283013
>you're a man, you're in control.
i think people need to be more humble and have some more humility. i feel like young adults and teens have this immortality mentality. it's simply not true. you're vulnerable in so many different ways it's incredible. i think it's important to respect your scale in the universe.
The only thing I can think of is to read some hemmingway and try to understand what's going on. A lot of his stuff is coming of age stories.
