legbutts who aren't interested in casual sex for whatever reason, be it discomfort, fear, asexuality, have you had any luck with any sites/apps, or by doing anything on any sites/apps? I'm a bisexual female who strongly relates to the term demisexual but doesn't put that in dating profiles or anything, in the past i've had a tinder and an okcupid, and on those I was upfront in the profile about not wanting hookups, but even still, I would have conversations with people, and often feel the interaction stall as they realized that I really meant it.
I enjoy some nice conversation, but all I want out of it is a date, and I feel like that's not enough for most people, especially on tinder. I know it's a shit place to look but I don't know anything better
>inb4 demisexual is a meme sexuality
>>6328911
>demisexual?
So basically you're normal? Why on earth did you need to specify that you need to know and like someone before you fuck them? Do you think we're all savages who would fuck every hot piece of ass we see?
>>6329015
OP here, that's what I mean. It's just a word to describe a large chunk of the population. It's normal to not want sex with a near-stranger, but it's also normal for another large chunk of the population to be hot for someone the first time you meet. Both are normal.
I don't call myself a demisexual on dating sites or IRL or literally anywhere but in my own head because people on tumblr treat it like it's another sexuality so they can gain oppression points when they feel bad for not being "queer enough," you know?
Maybe my experience is being skewed because I tend to match with more guys than girls, since there's obviously more straight guys than lesbians/bi girls in the pool, and it's really more of a gender difference than anything
>>6329324
add.
basically I don't like the way the term is used online and treated like another sexuality by tumblrites when it really just describes a preference, but if the shoe fits...
Don't get upset, I don't need to specify but you have to admit that it makes online dating harder, because people usually expect that you'll get down after like 3 dates, and for me it honestly takes longer and I can sense people getting put off sometimes. I don't tell them "oh i'm demisexual" like it means anything because it's useless and it doesn't fix shit, it just helps you describe your feelings to other losers on the internet.
I can't find anything myself being early mtf. In reviews for apps and sites that are queer inclusive it seems to be just m/f seeking m/f/m+f in terms of options for matching; that's fine for the (usually) lesbians reviewing the app/site but I'm still stuck having to choose male (and have to explain to every person that I'm trans), or female (and probably getting my account flagged for trolling).
Then you have implied promiscuity that goes with "male for male" inclusive apps layered on top of the whole thing... it's rough and I have no answers.
>>6331352
I believe okcupid has options for transgenders
>>6329324
when they feel bad for not being "queer enough"
god i hate that. Its like totally not the same as being a transbian whos parents hate you and has milk shakes thrown at her as shes is walking down the street.
But now were all united under the "queer umbrella" so it is now.
dating apps/sites are the freaking worst
Sometimes I remember I still have an OKcupid account gathering dust, but the couple times I've logged in with intention of erasing it, I cringed so hard at the mere sight that I just noped the fuck out of there.
Also I guess it serves me as a reminder of darker days
>>6331409
What else is there though?
The probability of encountering other lgbt people in real life is astronomically tiny
I wouldn't know, I just met my current bf on 4chan and it's been a blast.
>>6331428
I live in the middle of Wisconsin; when the occasional area code or Wisconsin thread pops up on /soc/ the nearest people are about 150 miles away. And the threads tend to have 4 posters or Wi/ north Il people, one being me, then get pushed off the last page.
I really envy West Europeans for how nearby they always discover people to be; trips between say, Gemany, UK and France are much more practical too, compared to going 3 states over to hang out with people a few times a year.
I really should move to a higher population density area but I'm pretty broke.
>>6331508
Yeah that's like how it is in Canada. Everyone is completely spread out and it takes like 3 hours to get anywhere here.
Plus I don't know if it's just a gay thing, but no gay guy ever has a car and even just driving across my city takes like 2 hours. On public transit it's like a 6 hour journey to cross the city from northwest to southeast for example.
I don't even live in that unpopulated of a place, but combined with gay guys lack of transport and how spread out everything is it's just impossible trying to date. It feels like going on a date is a huge ordeal that needs tons of planning just because of how much effort it takes to meetup.
>>6331508
can confirm, i'm the anon you responded to and i'm west european, my bf is a couple countries away and we make it work.
>>6331428
I tried that once here and he was a retarded libcuck. Some people just don't have luck I guess.
>>6329360
Why are you telling me not to get upset? Do you have your projector set up?
>>6332083
Well, you're a retarded poltard, so it's even.
>>6333221
U mad tumblrina?
>>6331352
Okcupid has an option to mark your gender as trans, but it might be best to wait until you're later in transition desu
>people who want males won't want a tranny since they want males
>people who want transwomen won't want you since you don't look the part
>people who like femboys will probably only want casual hookups since you're not gonna stay a femboy
If you want a longer relationship you'd need to find someone that is both okay with you right now and willing to date you after you reach your final form
I've gotten about 30 messages on okcupid but all of them were old/unattractive. How do I find a qt bf in real life?
okc has been great since they added more gender options. I've met some nice people there lately, and even before that, met one of my closest friends there (we went out briefly at first, too, so win-win).
The only real problem I have with it is that its location settings are too broad - everyone from my neighbour to people an afternoon of schlepping on the tube away is lumped in together as "london", which is quite frustrating.
That and there's nothing to actually DO there except fire messages back and forth at each other. It needs something to launch conversations off, and to do when nobody's online or you're tired of browsing people like a weird judgemental marketplace.
