Hey /k/, post some good greentext stories.
I'll start.
>>30451051
Good story, rage worthy.
I got one about the time I had to defend myself in a parking lot with my pocket knife. Any interest in greentext?
>>30451072
go for it anon
>>30451077
>>30451077
k, ill get started.
I've got a fresh skinwalker story if you want me to tell it
>>30451051
>Be me roughly 4 years ago, still in high school
>My friends and I were out on a weekend, we saw a movie over at the mall and had finished up
>His cousin comes to pick him up. He can’t give me a ride because his car only seated two (it was a mazda miata)
>”Ah man no problem my parents will come get me in a little bit”
>They leave, I’m sitting close to the elevator door. My mom says shell be around in 20-30 minutes so I’m not too worried
>Two guys walk out of the other elevator at the far end of the parking lot, and head toward their van.
>There’s literally no one around, no cars, no security, not even cameras.
>they kind of both look back at me for a second before hopping in the van and driving off
>definitely get a creepy vibe from both of them
>They’re making their way past me towards the exit but they stop.
>Guy rolls the window down
>”Hey man, what’re you waiting for?”
>”My parents. I just finished a movie”
>Now I know shit is up this is fucking terrifying
>”How long are they going to be? Do you want a ride?”
>HellFuckinnahm8.png
>I’m not a retarded 9 year old so I say no, obviously
>”They’re really close it’ll be 5 minutes”
>Guy says alright and drives off
>I sit there freaked out and just hope my parents show up soon
>5 minutes after they drive off they come back and hop out of the car
>fuckfuckfuckfuck
cont.
>>30451208
YESSSSS Gopher it anon
>>30451218
>Immediately try to run out of the lot first but the first guy grabs me by the shirt
>I fucking shit myself and pull my knife out of my pocket (waved spyderco delica if anyone is curious)
>slash his hand and forearm
>start waving it at both of them and jab the same guy who grabbed me in the shoulder as he runs
>they fuck off, they definitely were not suspecting getting knifed, I’m not even puerto rican
>parents come 15 minutes later
>tell my dad immediately because he’s a cop and he alerts the hospitals.
>they get caught 45 minutes later, both of them were sex offenders
>mfw I could’ve been Uncle Touchy’s trap slave and narrowly escaped a future as a heroin addict
>>30451229
Alright give me a sec
>>30451229
>Innawoods for the first time
>In the grasslands and swamps near where I live
>I know a decent amount about the woods
>Was a Sea Cadet
>Went to SERE and SEAL, so I think I'm in decent shape
>That was a ways back though, so my cardio has gone to complete shit
>Want to be a tacticool badass, so I've also got all my SHTF gear with me (plates, carrier, all the shit in my ruck)
>So I can "train"
>Like thats gonna happen
>On this no name trail
>Get to the main trail head and park my truck
>Off I go into the wild
>Make my ways about 3 miles out from where I started
>Lots of walking in ankle deep shit mud, and wading through knee high water between marshes
>Find a nice dry alcove of trees elevated above the high tide line
>Set up camp and make a fire so I can cook
>Isn't silent, but it is a little quieter than I would have thought.
The really odd thing was there being no gator sounds. Baby alligators have a really distinct almost croaking sound, and I've never spent a day on the water without hearing it
>Call it in for the night, plan on hunting for some white tail deer or gator the next day since I'm off the grid
Cont.
>>30451325
>Wake up in the middle of the night to splashing and grass rustling in the distance
>Not crazy thrashing or anything, but still loud/out of place enough to wake me up
>Besides the sound, I also have the smell of spice, pretty much like pepper, assault my nostrils
>I've read enough /x/ to know that I should be armed
>Grab my FAL and poke my head out of my tent
>Fire isn't completely down, still have a decent sight line
>See a crouched black figure with the most piercing red eyes glaring at me from across the lagoon
>Raise rifle and yell "Back the fuck off!"
>Bad idea
>The motherfucker stands up
>I had just been where it was, and knew where it was standing was at least three feet deep
>Still a solid 5 feet of mass above the water
>Petrified with fear at this point
>Pop a round off into what I assumed was it's chest
>Doesn't even flinch
If you've ever heard an adult alligator growl, thats really the only thing that can describe it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QhPneMqTjFw
Listen to that and you'll know what I mean
>That sound coupled in with a sort of "hehehe" type laugh
>Most unnerving thing I've ever experienced
>The thing sinks into the water and jets out
>Plan on blasting the fuck out of there at first light
Cont.
>>30451428
>Dawn rolls around
>No sign yet of fucking Killer Croc
>Pack my shit as fast as I possibly can
>Get everything on my back
>Jesuswalkingonwater.jpg
>Across the lagoon, into the Marshland
>Adrenaline only lasts about a mile
>Plus, me a having to bust my ass through shit and murky water whilst carrying all this dumb shit doesn't help
>Staggering out of the water to the next patch of grass, I hook my boot on a Mangrove root
>Smash my face into another root
>Out like a fucking light
>Wake up
>Hehehehe laugh/growl is back
>Pepper smell making my eyes water
>Go to get up and feel long ass claws on my back
>Give your meat a good old rub
>Mfw Killer croc was Ainsley Harriot all along
>>30451325
What state, anon?
>>30451235
>i'm not even puerto rican
kek good job anon
>>30451549
fuck
>>30451428
>>30451549
>Glaring red eyes
>>30451051
I'm sure i have more than just this
>>30451051
Does anyone have a screencap of Anon on guard-duty, finding two naked teenagers screwing around, and scaring them to death? Gives me a chuckle each time.
>>30451051
Oh boy. Another "shit that didn't happen" thread. I can't wait to read more ludicrous story about how cool anon is.
>>30451828
What if Anon is real though?!
What if he does all this amazing shit, and still fucking hates his life.
Sound's pretty good to me honestly.
>>30451760
Sounds like fake... but on the othwr hand there were a ton of badasses fighting on all sides of the war... we have to face the facts: we will never be this great
bömp
yee
yeee
yeeee
yeeeee
yeeeeee
>went in /ARG/
>got cancer
yeeeeeee
yeeeeeeee
yeeeeeeeeeeeee
yeeeeeeeee
yeeeeeeeeee
yeeeeeeeeeee
yeeeeeeeeeeee
>>30451051
Fake as fuck
>kidnapping
That's unlawful inprisonment idiot, she didn't move him a significant distance
yeeeeeeeeeeeee
yeeeeeeeeeeeeee
yeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
>>30451051
have a funny
yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
I got a quick green text
>be me
>fagot
>love guns and cock
>pink pistols style organization
>live out in Texas
>CHL
>CC my glock
>small bulge
>legal to open carry so I figure what the hell, plus it looks like it could be my cock
>go out to Austin
>gay day or some shit in a park
>lots of 5/10 guys
>one really creepy 1/10
>if a witch and Seth rogan made a baby that would disappoint my father, that baby would grow up to be this man
>touchy feely creep
>grabs people
NotCool.jpg
>he reaches for my crotch as a "joke"
>I swat his hand away
>"oooohhh look who's shy! I see the bulge"
>fuck off creep
>he grabs my glock and my cock in the same grab
>"HOLY SHIT IS THAT A GUN"
>I ignore him
>"GAY BASHER OR TERRORIST!!!"
>keep walking
>"GET HIM!!!!"
>no one is even listening or cares, most people are too busy flirting
>BAM!
>smacked in the head
>push him; dude fuck off, I'm legal to carry and I'm not bothering you. Got a problem? Call the cops
>he says he will and walks away
>cops never come.
>I would later meet a 4/10 semi-cutie and get a phone number I would never call.
yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
>>30456568
Californians do need a permit, it makes sense someone from Cali would be confused about a new state's gun law
yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
>>30456560
>"GAY BASHER OR TERRORIST!!!"
this is infuriating. im noticing that people are reacting emotionally more and more and are thinking less and less
>>30456590
The gay community is waking up!
yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
>>30456614
That's what decades of PC bullshit does. When it becomes forbidden to tell a fucking retard that they're acting fucking retarded, we get a lot of retards fucking and creating more fucking retards.
yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
>>30456642
To be fair this particular retard is gay. We don't have to worry about him reproducing
yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
>>30451656
The guy in that pic writes like an underage faggot, or a redditor
yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Nothing that interesting but this happened yesterday at the range
>be Hoosier
>go to a shitty state park to use their shooting range because all the private ones around me suck ass and it's the only range within 50 miles that has a 100yrd lane
>plinking at the 100yrd range
>hear the familiar sound of a SOOOOOT LIIIIIFE CUMMINSSSS diesel roaring down the road
>plsno.jpeg
>massive truck with a lift kit higher than a fucking monster truck pulls in
>a massive inbred family of rednecks pour out
>they go to the 50yrd range and I try to ignore them as they fucking destroy all the target stands with buckshot (which is not allowed)
>get done with my AR, about to switch to AK, I'm sitting down at the bench loading my mags
>they're reloading too
>all of a sudden...
>a deer comes out of the forest (remember this is in a state park)
>it starts walking onto the range
>I try to warn the deer, but it's too late
>the hillbillies have spotted it
>they all FUCKING UNLOAD on this poor fucking deer
>it gets shredded with three shotguns, two SKSs, and the Bubba Patriarch's .44 mag
>its fucking corpse is bleeding out in the middle of the lane
>suddenly the rednecks realize that probably wasn't okay
>they leave
>about 10 minutes later
>conservation officer heard all the commotion and shows up
>he interrogates me a bit about it but realizes that the damage wasn't done by my rifles
>I give him the license plate of the hicks and he says he'll look into it
That fuckin deer, man. It was like watching Platoon in real life. It haunts me.
yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
>>30451051
>OCing
>Ever
Maybe don't walk around with your gun in arms reach of everyone and this won't happen.
yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
WHITEY LET MUSLIMS COME TO "AMERICA"
WHITEY WOULDN'T FIGHT AGAINST HIS OWN DEATH.
WHITEY DIED LIKE A BITCH NIGGER NAMES LASHONDA
yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
>>30456642
it's not just "the people you don't like"
people in every group do it. tons right here on /k/
yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
>>30456801
AHAHAHAHAH
yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
>>30456850
>>30456838
>>30456826
>>30456810
>>30456801
this is some unfunny /k/ may may shit my dude
>>30456860
the one taking the piss out of all the bullshit skinwalker stories amused me tho, chillax mah nigga
yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeend
>>30456860
post something then
>>30456900
I enjoy both the 2spoopy skinwalker stories and those making fun of them. It's like the old /b/ header said, only a fool would take them as fact.
>>30456947
why/how would this kill him?
>>30456648
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
>>30457062
something about blood clots or itting your head
>>30451235
>they definitely were not suspecting getting knifed, I’m not even puerto rican
>>30451235
>mfw I could’ve been Uncle Touchy’s trap slave and narrowly escaped a future as a heroin addict
kek'd
>>30456591
You do need one.
Source: I live in this shithole
>>30451051
This is what I thought gun grabbers were.
>>30451828
pretty much this
>>30456801
best one
>>30456801
10/10 my sides are gone
>6'1 usain bolt with a scar in his hands yelling the navy seals copypasta
>you´re fucking dead kiddo
>>30456648
What the Fuck
>>30451051
Holy shit that's fucking crazy
>>30456322
I want this to be real.
>>30451235
>Implying being the trap slave is a bad thing
>>30461146
Idk man, REAL acid, actual lysergic acid diethylmide, is one hell of an experience in the right dose. and the human body reduced very closely to that line between feral animal and man is a pretty crazy thing to witness.
they should give marines in modern combat a massive epi-pen of psychedelics and adrenaline for those "i'm about to die holed up in this mud hut, I may as well die glorious, nude, and covered in blood screaming from the roof of this mud hut" moments
>>30456826
>nigger do you think life is a fucking cartoon m8
every time i see it
>>30456685
Holy shit
>>30461146
lana rain
>>30451828
I don't care if they are real or fake. They are entertaining, that's all that matters.
>>30461285
>reduced very closely to that line between feral animal and man is a pretty crazy thing to witness.
Have you ever fucking done acid? Because it's nothing like you're describing
>>30456568
i've personally used this in a less snazzy way for family i don't see often hearing that I own and shoot guns
>my super hardcore left aunt who lives comfortably in the massive houses in the suburbs overlooking detroit CCs and actively supports gun rights legistlation for detroit and michigan
>>30456738
Insert Chris kyle joke
>>30461364
how is the quality on this so bad
>>30451549
Should add in there at the end
>feel claws press against my back
>same growly voice I hear say
>you know its... time to uhh... oil up
>>30451235
good one anon, thanks
>>30461747
or
>Hehehe laugh/growl
>Hehehe yeeaaah boi
>>30461723
infinite posts, saves, compressions and reposts over the course of years
>>30456549
What happened to this chairman meow blaster?
I'm on my phone and can't really tell what I'm posting, but since I dont visit many blue boards I'm assuming these are /k/ related.
>>30462689
>>30462716
When my internet starts working I'll post more
>>30456648
I'm glad I didn't walk up on this cause I'd probably blackout from rage and come to in the woods with a brain matter coated buttstock in my hands
>>30462724
>>30462724
If only the Soviet Union had helped them. Maybe Rhodesia would have been a prosperous communist country
>>30463383
Get fucked you commie shit.
>>30463383
What?
You realize that that there are literally no 'prosperous communist countries'?
If you say China I'm going to assume you're retarded and do not know what the fuck you're talking about.
>>30453580
>we will never be this great
It's all a matter of opportunity. I don't think a single MoH recipient ever tried to get one, they were just doing their jobs.
>>30461285
Top fucking kek
>>30456526
did he survive?
>>30465167
I remember something about how he got an x-ray at the hospital and they couldn't find it. They think he probably vomited it before he blacked out.
>>30461215
It is, you broken degenerate.
>>30456850
fuck
>>30456676
I wish this was real
>>30451235
you would have been taken to Uncle feelys naked puzzle basement.
>>30456725
I wanna be a dad like this one day
>>
Anonymous 06/30/16(Thu)07:45:35 No.30451208▶>>30451229
I've got a fresh skinwalker story if you want me to tell it
>>
Anonymous 06/30/16(Thu)07:46:13 No.30451218▶>>30451235
>>30451051 (OP)
>Be me roughly 4 years ago, still in high school
>My friends and I were out on a weekend, we saw a movie over at the mall and had finished up
>His cousin comes to pick him up. He can’t give me a ride because his car only seated two (it was a mazda miata)
>”Ah man no problem my parents will come get me in a little bit”
>They leave, I’m sitting close to the elevator door. My mom says shell be around in 20-30 minutes so I’m not too worried
>Two guys walk out of the other elevator at the far end of the parking lot, and head toward their van.
>There’s literally no one around, no cars, no security
an air raid has been commenced
>>30451051
Well, I had a mother fucker of a day so here's some OC about fucking around on the demo range before the weekend.
>Be boot 0351 in School of Infantry
>Demo Range day, mother fucker
>Six of us get told to pair up and basically turn ammo cans into improvised claymores
>Me and my buddy team up, use more c4 than needed because fuck it
>they wanted us to use 5.56 brass and belt links as the sharpnel
>But no ones watching
>Broken up road from the 50s or some shit behind the prep table.
>Start jamming fist sized chunks of asphalt in to a .50 can with 2 sticks of c4 on the bottom
>Like, 'throw at riot cops sized and get shot' sized
>Plus one piece of brass
>Orders technically followed, kinda
>Time to bring that shit to the live fire pit
>The other two charges sound like buckets full of coins while being moved
>No one notices ours is five pounds heavier and silent due to extra half pound of c4 and rocks big enough to survive falling into earth's atmosphere
>Like, if you put this thing in space and blasted it toward earth, we'd get some decent causality rates on dinosaurs
con't..
>>30468495
proceed my dude
>>30456501
>King of Niggers
Excuse me, but that title belongs to Obama
>>30468495
>Place our charge as causally as possible
>All three charges are facing the targets about five meters away
>Target is a cardboard 'E' silhouette target tied to an engineering stake
>Pop smoke. fall back to safety and wait for the boom
>Our boom is louder, but not by much
>Time to inspect the damage.
>Sgt. compliments us on cutting the time fuse properly and all charges going off
>Points out the neat rips and tears in the two targets
>Realization hits
>Counts the boots, counts the holes in the ground
>There were three charges. but there is no target three
>Target three is embedded in the berm 10 meters away from where it started
>He walks over and pulls the broken, twisted form of the E stake from the dirt
>I've seen gay sex straighter than this thing was. Paint was pealed off in giant chunks
>What was left of the cardboard had massive holes ripped out, he figures out why the next target over fell over
>Looks us dead in the eyes
>What did you put in your charge?
>Oh, shit, play the boot card
>Just brass, Sgt, like you said. I don't know what happened
>He looks at the E stake, now bent like a shepherds crook in his hands
>I've seen Humvees in better shape after hitting 40 pounds of HME
>Looks at his watch
>Its 1630 on a Friday
>Sighs
>Good job, Marines
>Sgt leaves to smoke immediately while we clean up the range
>Get side eyed by instructors the rest of our time in SOI
Hey, they told us demo is only limited by your imagination. Me and my buddy ended up spending most of our enlistments in the same squad, fucking around with dangerous shit and becoming hardcore alcoholics
>>30451051
>Unironically saying 'uni'
>In America
he should be put to death
>>30451208
i wouldn't worry about it
>>30451051
>this is why your edc gun shouldent be an expensive one.
Carry something cheap and reliable that you could stand to lose like a mak or somthing.
>>30469058
Shit, I'm bored, buzzed and got more I wanna share for a laugh. You want "Anon v Cerberus, The Hell Hound of Helmand" or "A very EOD New Years"?
>>30451549
You sonuvabitch
>>30469165
Fuck it lets do both.
>>30469330
I'll start with The EOD New Year's Special, since its shorter
>December 31st, 2009, 2350. Helmand Providence, AFG
>Be on post. Just got done jacking it the second time.
>Our only accurate clock is our radios, due to freq hop reasons
>Helmet off, NVGs sitting unused because the Hadjis learned months ago not to challenge us in the dark where we could see
>Waiting for the clock to roll over, so I could be the first to wish my fellow posts a happy new years
>Doing things a second early was verbotten since Christmas
>2359, finger twitching on the call button, licking my lips
>Whoever pressed the button first got the rights
>Suddenly there's a bright light, brighter than the sun
>The shockwave hits and shit goes flying off the shelves of my post
>Cover
>Mushroom cloud spreads over our sister company's AO
>Comms explode across the band, no one knows what the fuck is happening
>I rack my 240 and train it on the nearest village, ready to waste the first person I see
>Sleeping dudes pour out of their racks, rifles in hand
>Battalion wide Coms have a message come in
>"Happy New Years, Marines!"
>EOD had stockpiled near 1000 pounds of 'stable' ordinance over the past month
>Took it out to the desert and blew it the fuck up as soon as the clock hit 12
>Told only the Battalion five minutes before hand that anything would happen
>"Happy New Years!"
>>30469330
Anon V Cerberus:
>Be on post in Helmand, during the night like always
>Catch movement out of the corner of my eye.
>It's a stray dog fucking with our burn pit.
>Watch him for a bit. He rips something out of the fire to make it collapse and reignite the fire 12 hours after it went out and look me dead on.
>Other post sees this, we joke and call the dog Cerberus.
>Little did we know.
>A week later, one of our guys leaves his post at 0800 to find paw prints in the sand behind the post.
>Only way up there is to get through triple C wire and jump an 8 foot Hesco
>Cerberus becomes legend, excuse to every piece of food that went missing
>>30468495
I remember making grapeshot on that demo range.
>>30469883
Thats what the stray dogs in AFG look like btw.
>Two days after the paw prints behind the post incident
>Be on COC watch at 0200
>Call comes in from post 4.
>Hey, Anon, there's a dog inside our perimeter eating our food. I think its Cerberus
>'I got this'
>Abandon my radio duties and reach for my rifle
>Remember its dark as shit out there and I have only a flashlight, no NVGs
>Grab MRAP rated tire iron instead
>Its on.
>Leave COC and point flashlight at where post said Cerberus was
>Pair of eyes shine at me over our left over sausage and biscuit UGRE
>Start advancing. I had accepted RPK fire as a corner stone in my life at this point, no dog was stealing my breakfast
>In in a shadow of a whisper, Cerberus retreats to the middle of the OP
>Makes not a sound as he covers 20 meters of unpacked river rock
>Round the corner, flashlight held high and tire iron in hand ready for CQB
>See his eyes glimmer at me
>Start yelling. I have no idea why other AFG was a crazy place but I started screaming like it could get me into Valhalla
>I nearly blew out my vocal cords on this dog, channeling all the anger the deployment had given me
>Every insult to my family over 2000 years flowed into me and I swore to take no more
>Its a stray fucking dog trying to eat
>Cerberus vanishes again, and I catch a gimispe of his eyes as he bound over the Hesco and looked back
>Lights flood me as the OP reacts to my screaming, waking up only to find a shirtless man grasping a tire iron and yelling at a dog that ate some open food
>>30468491
What?
>>30451235
>they definitely were not suspecting getting knifed, I’m not even puerto rican
> I could’ve been Uncle Touchy’s trap slave and narrowly escaped a future as a heroin addict
Fucking dying over here anon, bravo
>>30456725
You know, I still mess with him about that.
> drop the bomb on him and his sister than kid #5 is on the way
> unbelievingshock.jpg
> explain that it wasn't planned, but that hormonal birth control isn't an option for my wife and, well, the Rhythm Method isn't so good either
> kid cracks wise and asks "So, shooting range again, Dad? Har, har."
> wait for giggles to die down....
> "Nah. Pretty sure it was your bed this time around."
> wife blushes
> oldest daughter retches
> youngest daughter keeps playing Minecraft
> youngest son picks nose, screams "BOOGER!"
> eldest son just sits there motionless before saying "You are a sick bastard."
> "Pipe down, Lanza. You're still the best shot I ever made."
> make swimming fish motion with my hand
> eldest son just walks off shaking his head
I've still got it.
>>30473759
Not bad, my man. Not bad.
>>30473597
Can do. "Lt. goes swimming" or more AFG stories?
>>30473597
I chose more AFG stories.
>Radio watch, 0300.
>Mobile is out, holding security just out side out of a village near us
>Get call from Six, he wants to give Mobile illum but needs a spoter
>I give FDC my coordinates and Mobiles coordinates
>This OP has been here since our battalion took over, dunno why they need our grid but it probably won't matter later
>FHWOOMP
>Shot over
>Shot out
>Walk out the COC to observe illum round. I see nothing.
>Flash of light as the illum round pops 50 feet above our hygiene table and falls inside the wire
>Hey, Actual, I think you confused our grid and the the target grid. - Me, 2010.
>No worries, problem addressed, we'll get this
>>30475249
>Shot over
>Shot out
>Dull thump as something slams into a nearby hut
>Then a poof as it ignites
>There is now a straw covered mud hut burning down from the top outside our OP
>Be me, frantically screaming at Company they're 250m off and 2 seconds off the the delay
>Too late. FHWOOMP
>Timing adjusted, not the aim. A white hot flare softly descends on its parachute to land on top of Post 1
>Guy in Post 1 scrambles to climb on top and put out the fire
>Scream at Company for a half hour before getting relieved
>Wake up to find the fins of a dud 60 round sticking out of the dirt next to our fuel pump
Never trust mortars
>>30470135
Nigga stray dogs in Afghanistan look like all k inds of shit.
My girl Blackie looked like a straight up black lab, and she gave no fucks running around just following us on all our patrols and shit, Blackie was the bomb.
But yeah, there is no "look" for stray dogs in Afghanistan.
>>30475398
Bears nigga, they look like small bears which was my point
>>30473759
Oh god, screencap.
>>30456850
>>30456860
>>30465298
Might as well commence the 'Aussie Shitpost' of this thread.
As said, I am an Ausfag. Been browsing /k/ for around a year and a half now, lurking threads has always been my thing as >nogunz means I don't really know shit about owning one.
I was watching a documentary the other day about the Allied efforts in Africa, at which I remembered my Grandpa serving as an Infantrymen. Being a private but having the job of fixing the canvas on all the trucks and sewing on particular vehicles where he was deployed.
Doing more searching I found that he was registered as one of the 'Rats of Tobruk'. Doing the full length serve there before getting shipped back to Aus. Was part of 2/23 Battalion.
Fast forward to 2003, where I can remember playing with some old metal tanks at his house, (not sure what they are, they're somewhere in my house as of writing this). I can remember the old gentle smile he would have when I would hold little army men wars with the 2 tanks.
Every time the tracks came off he would bend down and help me put them back on, which I could remember was a chore for him, as his back had something wrong with it. My mum and dad would come over to tell him off for doing so. But as soon as they left the house for me to be watched over he would just glance back and smile while I played pretend war.
2004-5ish and he dies. Felt so sad and cried like a little bitch at his funeral. Grandma now living at my aunts the old house is getting cleared out. 2 tanks are still there. (There was always a third, but the tracks were gone and was half broken). Take them all home and relive fond memories for coming 3 years.
Be last week, mum comes in and has a box in her hand. "This used to be your grandfathers old canvas kit. I thought you'd like it".
>Getting tons of nostalgia from old memories with me and him.
I never got to talk to him about his stories.
I won't have that chance ever again.
It fucking hurts /k/.
>>30477448
>(not sure where*)
Fuck
I still got the canvas set up in my cupboard if anyone wants pics when I wake up tomorrow. I'll try and find the 2 tanks hiding somewhere as well. These greentexts about /k/'s old grandpa war stories make me feel a little left out.
>>30451760
>Implying POWs were sent to concentration camps, especially officers
Fake and gay.
>>30469573
Tax dollars at work.
>>30477472
Go for it, man
>>30456462
This one made me burst
