>have dumb as shit friend who joined the Marines
>won't shut the fuck up about it now
>every third sentence is "I'm a marine," or "The Marines taught me best."
>believes his three months of boot camp makes him more knowledgeable and proficient with guns than anyone because marines get the best training
>Buffalo Wild Wings announced it was some guy's 21st birthday and when everyone cheered and clapped he yelled that hooah marine thing
>always has to let everyone know that he thinks he could take anyone in a fist fight
>posts tons of marine memes on his facebook
>acted mad when a KFC commercial of the colonel raising a fried chicken flag came on
I am being 100% serious about all this. I even left some shit out because I don't think you'd believe me. How do I make him fuck off with this shit? Why do marines let retards in?
>>30238745
>Why do marines let retards in?
Welcome to volunteer militaries. They're mostly filled with those who wouldn't succeed in the civilian world, so they joined the military.
What, you think smart people join the military?
There are hundreds of thousands just like him.
>>30238745
Vetfag here. I know that we do some stupid, moto shit. It's just in our nature when this life demands so much of you, you get that tribal mentality going. It's the most natural thing in the world.
But your friend is on the extreme end of the bell curve. Tell him to shut the fuck up but make sure that he knows that this is about him, not some envious bullshit. Something on the order of "You're turning into an asshole to be around."
>>30238745
Just tolerate it. He's proud. If you are truly a friend you'll do well to endure it.
So he's an average Marine then
Marine Poolee here, yeah, the Marines are basically a cult with massive indoctrination propaganda while you're in boot camp. Try to ignore him, it theoretically wears off after a year or so. But yeah, the military as a whole is comprised of stupid people, if he really gets out of hand tell him being able to run fast and shoot well doesn't make him any better than anyone else. Also, ask him what he got on his ASVAB
>>30238772
>>30238761
and there are still people that the military refuses to take
Join the marines and show him what it feels like to be around him.
>>30238805
I don't think I want to be friends with someone who gets mad at KFC commercials and has giant ego problems.
>>30238819
Criminals, literal retards, and medically disqualifieds, yes.
>>30238745
Smart people usually don't join the military. Some do for the GI bill, but they generally join the Navy and Air Force.
>>30238745
Am I the only one that wants to hear the other shit he does?
>>30238745
>I even left some shit out because I don't think you'd believe me.
Oh, do go on.
>>30238869
2nd
>>30238745
The Moto will die onces hes been in the fleet for a minute. If it was something I hated more than field day and formations was the motard.
>>30238830
Criminals and literal retards can still get in if its wartime. See the Iraq invasion and surge.
>>30238858
> IQ 138
> Joined the Corps
> Using GI Bill
I laugh at statements like this. You know if you didn't want to get dirty, be tested, and you know do manly shit of course join those branches. Oh wait can't say that now 2016 is the year of hurt feelings and the bring down of masculinity. Enjoy your sandy vagina and friendzone.
>>30239056
What MOS?
>>30239056
What'd you get on ur ASVAB?
>>30238745
Your friends a boot. I'm guessing pog.
Is he on leave? He should be going to his base. Sorry bro if he's truly a boner but we aren't all like that. I was an 0311 and if I ever tell people that (I rarely do) they are surprised because I'm so laid back.
He's a peacetime punk bitch and needs to check himself.
>>30239056
What's your GT, faggot poser?
>>30238818
You're not a marine. Shut the fuck up shower shoe
>Also, ask him what he got on his ASVAB
oh fuck off faggot
>>30239098
>oh fuck off faggot
I can tell what you got on your ASVAB, jarhead.
>>30239205
>Asvab
>Not GT Score
Boots gonna boot.
Capcha: made me pick tortillas as pancakes... wtf
>>30238818
Holy fucking shit. Being a Poolee doesn't give you any authority on the subject so shut your boot ass up.
Vet fag army 91f
>>30238887
>>30238886
>>30238869
I had to go somewhere, but I'll post more when I'm done if I remember.
28 YEARS ago I took the ASVAB. I still remember my GT. 116. Not the best but enough to do any fucking thing I wanted in the armed services.
People claiming bullshit like this cock smoke ought to be called out. Good job. Keep it up.
>>30238745
He's probably a former POG. My dad had a coworker who was like "I wuz in the marinez" but he was fucking radio operator.
>>30238745
>I even left some shit out because I don't think you'd believe me.
Naw dawg we all have met Marines before
>>30238802
Can confirm. Any branch has a sort of camaraderie and pride built into it. You're put through some very stressful situations, so you manage as best you can. With the marines, they hammer that shit in during boot camp. If you think you're the best and badass, you're less likely to realize your job and life suck ass. Then you're less likely to kill yourself.
>>30238858
I did it to get out of my parents hair. I got sick off the fact that I was living off of their money for 17 years and felt like a pathetic little shit, so I enlisted for their own good. Add in the fact that I'm getting training for my real dream career, firefighting, because I went CBRN specialist, and free housing, food, and clothing... It's a pretty damn good gig.
Also, I get paid to dick around with military shit all day.
Hey /k/
How do you find a Marine in a crowd?
.
.
.
.
.
Don't worry, he'll tell you.
>>30239307
I was a Marine.
>>30239307
>How do you find a Marine in a crowd?
Wait for someone online to bitch like a little girl about it.
>>30239251
>91f
>A poor man's 2111
>>30239317
Stop embarrassing yourself.
>>30239334
Found the Marine
>>30239335
>implying it isn't the other way around.
>implying the jar heads don't have to learn it at Fort Lee anyway.
Stay mad 2111 cuck
>>30239336
Joke
--------------------------
Your head
>>30239376
Oh my lord, this is even a better joke.
You don't even get it!
>>30239307
No you put down a 6 pack and a young Okinawa girl. The marine will take the bait.
Haha brother in law won't stop talking about it. I was a marine bla blablabla. He did 1 tour and he thinks he's tough shit. My cousin was army he did 2 tours but he's the coolest and most chill person ever
>>30238869
>>30238886
>>30238887
>said he could kill a man 70 different ways with his hands
>says he should be a drill instructor and follows with an attempt to sound like one by whisper yelling
>he took a selfie of himself with some new marine friends and captioned it "pog life"
>tried to give me a condescending talk about how I fucked up building an AR15 because the safety wouldn't move off of fire when the hammer wasn't cocked
>wears one of his uniforms to church every Sunday for attention
>almost lost his shit when I dry fired a pistol in a safe direction before handing it to him (he owns no guns and was looking at my collection)
>when anyone jokes to him about hazing he says he'd be the one doing it and that he's the biggest guy there (he's about 150lb but thinks he's a ripped god)
I know there are different uniforms and there's different rules for wearing them, but the fact he does it for the attention bothers me. Just dress like a normal person. Maybe I have autism, maybe his faggotry is getting to me.
>>30239673
Yea nah he's a fag. Id just stop hanging out with him if it continues for more than a month or two
>>30239362
Found the bitch.
>>30239056
>haha I'm the exception to the rule therefore your point is moot! Anecdotal evidence wins again!
You sure your iq is 138? Because you sure as fuck sound like an idiot.
>>30239745
There are all kinds of online "IQ tests" that show everyone who takes them as having a genius IQ, right before trying to sell them something.
See: King of the Hill Season 6, Episode 10.
>>30238745
Im an ex MP not in the us Army so dont have an ASVAB score, but I can tel you this much.
What he is experiencing is called BOOT, most guys I served with got like that in the beginning.
It intensified after basic, but it wore off a few months after.
Even I had it to some extent, saw a dude I recognised from my neighborhood being way too agressive in a bar, trying to start fights with everyone, so I stood up and said something along the lines of " Im an MP, Ill take care of him" to my civ friends before dragging the guy outside and telling him to go home.
Felt so good about myself back then, now think back and cringe. Mostly about what I said.
I got him a taxi and paid for it, but still.
The other time BOOT kicked off in my unit was when a whole bunch had their contract end on the same date.
That party was retarded, all you heard was a bunch of Bootcamp Motos and all that shit and everyone was cheering it.
Anyway, my point is that dont worry its just a fase thats gonna pass.
Sorry for my English, Its not my motherlanguage.
>>30238745
This will wear off when he's in the fleet and they begin to screw him over. Then all he will talk about is how much he hates the Marines and how he can't wait to EAS. Then once he gets out and it's been 4 months he will find any opportunity to remind people he was a Marine including ending all of this social media names with USMC. So for example his instagram will be (hisnameandbirthyear)USMC.
>>30238745
Give him time we will beat it out of him in the fleet
>>30239205
Do you really think anyone in the fleet gives a shit about an asvab score? Go running around telling everyone you got a 98 thinking you're hot shit you clown.
Don't you have a /meg/ thread to shit up with military memes?
>>30238745
Ask that boot if he plans on buying that moto-ass sword so he can slay the dragon.
>>30238745
>Hoooah
That's Army. It's "Ooorah" for marines
>>30239307
Marines are to irl what ironmen are to runescape
>>30239673
>Fucked at because it won't go on safe unless the weapon is charged.
You sure he went to basic? Cause I went through army basic and they even taught me that.
Why would you need a safety if the weapon isn't even charged?
>>30238818
> Entire branch in charge of being anything other than retarded
Holy fuck Marines, even your deppers are retards
Very few people join for noble reason.
So most join the Marines when the army gives you the exact same thing, but with a easier basic and a government work mentally
>>30240383
He is a particularly stupid individual. I knew him since first grade and cannot emphasize how stupid he is. He picked up my rifle, gave me a smug ass look, mentioned the safety thing, and proceeded to tell me how my own rifle worked and how to use it. He had no prior experience with guns and I've been shooting for the last 15 years, but his 3 months of boot camp makes him a master of everything.
Expendable assets... watch Predator you idiots. Marines are just people who signed their lives away for some benefits down the road if they don't get capped for meddling in affairs they have no business fucking with. That is what I see them as now. Older generations were a little different, but war is always the same shit. Anyone can fight when they get cornered and fucked with enough.
>>30240510
>>30238745
>I've been shooting for the last 15 years, but his 3 months of boot camp makes him a master of everything.
take his ass shooting and put him in his place
>>30239745
>moot
who?
>>30239221
Im still guessing you got sub 100 on your GT if youre THIS butthurt about it.
Enjoy being second rate infantry
>>30238745
Call him a shitbird and watch his reaction.
>>30238745
Pre-marines and boots are always like this. 95% of them will mature eventually.
Had friend that was "devildog this" and "devildog that" before he even went to boot. Called him out on that shit one time- turns out I knew more about the marines than he did, and he got real butthurt about that. Didn't hang out with me much after that.
>>30238745
One of the fundamental ideas of boot camp is to get you all psyched out to go to war. So it sounds like they were successful. The only issue here is that he hasn't been deployed to reality yet.
>>30238745
He's throughly indoctrinated in love of corps and country. Tell him he doesn't know anything about his fucking job and you know that because he hasn't even been to his MOS school and that he'd probably get his ass kicked because he's a tan belt. Obviously he's been in for 2 seconds and thinks he knows everything about being a marine. He's just a boot who bought into the bullshit and didn't pay attention to anything his Drill Instructors said because mine sure told me I basically didn't know anything when I got out of bootcamp except how to be a marine, not how to fight in combat or how to do my job.
Can confirm this
> guy I knew in high school went to some auto mechanic college - wyotech is what it's called
> no job after finishing and student debt, better join the muhrines
> posts dank memes about marine boot camp like "fun times when you leave your foot locker open"and shit like that
Jesus I liked it when marines didn't have Facebook
My dad was in national guard and my brother is currently in national guard, they dont do that shit. Then yet again they were in the guard, so not a lot to brag
>>30238745
>want to join muhreenz
>went to a poolee pt
>out did a shit ton of high school faggots
>I'm out of shape
>grown as fuck
>manual labor 60 hours a week give or take
>might be medical DQ because vericose vein in left but
Why foes this faggot get to be a marine but I can't?
>>30239285
I want to hear these stories.
>>30238745
dont worry he'll get jaded like the rest of them once he checks into his first real command
>>30239721
Definitely a Marine.
>>30238745
>Why do the Marines let retards in?
>Candidate A
Johnny is an asshole. His teachers hate him, his friends can barely stand him, and his parents flinch whenever the phone rings around dinnertime. No doubt, he's been in the principal's office a few times, but he's never had a run-in with the law. Lucky for him, Johnny has never fucked up so bad he landed himself an appointment with the school shrink, and before he knows it- to everyone's disbelief- he's scraped together enough credits for a high school diploma. Realizing he should of taken shop class a little more seriously, Johnny knows he won't hack it as an adult... unless he joins the Marines. That'll stave off the inevitable existential crisis he isn't equipped to handle for a few years. He talks to a recruiter, takes home a few brochures, and then reports to MEPS, where nothing suspicious comes up. Johnny makes it in.
>Candidate B
Timmy is a really swell guy. His teachers like him, his friends cheer him on at home games, and his parents have "Student of the Month" bumper stickers on each of their cars. His academics are so good he didn't even bother applying to his safety school. He breezes through college in less than four years (thanks to all those AP credits and a work ethic normally reserved for draft horses) before earning a highly marketable degree, with honors. On the day of graduation, he goes to his college town's recruitment office and decides fulfill his dream of serving as an officer in the United States Marine Corps. When he goes to MEPS, it comes up that he saw a shrink for suicidal ideation in middle school after his parents found a few DVD's of Cocky Boys under his mattress. Timmy doesn't make it in.
TL,DR;
A whole slew of fucktards make it in because there's no official documentation outlining just what fucktards they are. Meanwhile, quite a few and otherwise upstanding individuals don't make the cut because of one or two mistakes that may or may be worth the DQ it earned them.
