/k/'s official first private security contracting company just kicked off
what skills do you have to offer?
I can find our opponent's favorite forums and shitpost on them for 12-18 hours straight.
i can make the ping noise really loudly
>>30116820
I can cook
40 yard dash in under 13.5 seconds, a mile in 16.5 minutes tops. Have done 25+ push ups and can practically do a pull up.
>>30116820
im qualified to answer phones in the complaints department.
>this is obviously the best position as i have no responsibility and i don't have to be around the autism squads
>also listening to the autism squads' antics
>>30116820
I will get hurt on the first day, make you pay off my workers comp claim, then file for disability and sit home eating cheetos that were bought with a gov't check.
>yeah, I'm a gov't contractor all right. So dangerous they pay me to stay home
>>30116820
I can make one hell of a spreadsheet on Microsoft Excel
>>30116820
i can deliver ads in mail boxes without complaigning
I can snatch every motherfuckers birthday
I can jack it 3-5 times a day
>>30116820
Heavy lifting and one hell of a driver for SUVs that roll on gentle corners. I can shoot and do IT work. Notably high endurance if walking. I can speak jamal and caveman. I can break into anything that isn't a reinforced concrete wall with a crowbar. I am not high speed low drag. I have gasmask. I can provide myself with weapons and equipment, but will look like the slavs are coming for invasion. I could probably recruit a second guy with similar skill set and a third that is decent at desk work/
>>30116820
I'm tough titties
>>30116883
>PsyOps advisor
>>30117378
>Diversion specialist
>>30117401
>mustard gaz operator
>>30117412
>the guy that will be specops in 2 days
>>30117434
>counter PsyOps agent
>>30117646
>medical team's favorite toy
>>30117660
>accountability assistant
>>30117667
>propaganda specialist
>>30117683
>1911 operator with a master knowledge in this weapon
>>30117708
>endurance trainer
>>30117736
>the 2nd guy that will be specops in 2 days
>>30117748
>the only dude that can resist tortures of all kind
i guess we are pretty much complete, need more member tho
>>30117808
I'm ded
I'm a pharmacy technician. I know a lot about medicine, adverse effects, chemical names, classifications, dosage calculations, etc.
I don't think I could be a medic but I could definitely stock and issue their shit.
>>30116820
I am moderately famous on far less popular site and can rally a grand total of like five people to join the ranks.
>Can forge things to cut other things
>Smash shit with large hammers
>Also general metalwork
Two words:
COMBAT
PLUMBER
Make fun of me all you want, but when the showers and sinks on our FOB stop working, who ya gonna come crawling to?
>>30117808
Woohoo! Specops here I come
Pictured:
My approximation of our two man fighting force
I can shoot a squirrel from 600 yards with my Spanish Mausers Ladder sights. I also have a 9 inch dick.
>>30117879
Oh, also my favourite hammer is called "Medical Sledgehammer"
>>30117898
I am imagining pic related but with an anvil
>>30117889
nothing to make fun of
combat plumbers are the shit (no pun intended)
>can work with hands
>aren't scrawny fobbit pussies
>drop their wrenches and kill the fuck out of attackers
>installing shitters in dangerous areas
>thank you based combat plumbers
I can suck a mean dick desu
>>30117948
Found the bomb defuser.
>>30117924
Lel, almost. I just got called "Cleric" back then and my comeback would be chasing a guy with a 7lbs sledge on a long handle, yelling at him that I'm gonna "Cast: break bones". Good times.
>>30117982
Considering my file name for the pic posted was a bit of an inside joke about a guy I know, you are, with that sentence alone, describing him perfectly. 3spooky
I'm a vault clerk so basically a bank teller with a gun
What could I do for a /k/ PMC/militia?
>>30118062
You get to fly the Huey!
>>30118062
>Be part of PR and advertising
>somewhere on the business end
>grunt work
>security on base
>gaurd work
Strong work ethic to work hard and do things right the first time
Physically fit and not overweight
Skilled marksman
Can make a mean guacamole.
>>30118117
Question:
>can you provide your own combat ready gear and weapons?
>do you have any idea what you would be doing in either stealth or brute force
I am the best slavshit operator you've ever laid eyes on, at least until my allergy medicine runs out. At which point I'm basically bed ridden.
Well, I'm pretty good fodder.
>>30118148
that's when you head to the CTMC onnafob and get >>30117855 to hook you up with some good pills bruh
My life
>>30116820
I am very sarcastic and can complain about absolutely everything.
>>30118469
Damage assessment specialist
>>30116820
I have contacts in 46 of the 50 biggest cities in the us
>>30118469
I can also speak fluent Bulgarian and Finnish
>>30116820
I'm an IT guy and a 2nd degree black belt. 2 years of ROTC (so basically I know the NATO phonetic alpha, because the first 2 years of ROTC are a joke) and being from FayetteNam I know a bunch of SF guys we could recruit when they retire.
I can drive, do minor repairs and wear a suit if required.
>>30116820
I can fuck asian bitches easily since i learned to speak various forms of ching ching overseas
can also drink enough to kill an elephant
>>30118140
>can you provide your own combat ready gear and weapons?
I can provide load outs for everyone, buy it cheap stack it deep.
>do you have any idea what you would be doing in either stealth or brute force
I don't stealth, I'm physically fit and break necks if I get close enough.
I'm an expediter and drive a courier van, but please god don't make me the /k/ PMC equivalent to an 88 mike.
>>30116820
I can speak Urdu and blend in with the indigenous population of the Pakistani Tribal Areas.
>>30118861
Meet the third person to be spec ops by day 2.
With only three people stealth will be a requirement unless we get a tank and are up against an enemy with only small arms.
>>30116820
With a small budget I can keep a fleet of vehicals running. With a larger budget I can build vehicals to limited specs.
>>30116820
i have approximately a decade of experience in construction.
i can also fly a plane
Clerical experience; also, supply and acquisition
I can machine, weld, shoot, talk, read, write, speak, and listen.
>>30116820
I'm an artistic type so I can provide entertainment on base I guess. Probably good for PR work and press conferences if needed. Also an armchair philosopher, might be able to provide psychological aid and moral support.
Good for historical and general information, so maybe Intel work. Can't imagine a PMC needs espionage but I can pull that and disguises easily, or make some crazy Psyops recordings and tricks.
I have a good work ethic and take odd jobs, I can service cars, cook, dig posts holes, construction, etc. Etc.
So basically put me wherever, I'm a guy.
I'm a fat volunteer firefighter, eagle scout, and a Wehraboo/Rhodeboo or whatever Rhodesia fanboys are called. Gib me job bo0s.
I can drive anything with wheels, some things without.
Quick learner.
Familiar with pistols, rifles and shotguns.
Great navigational sense.
Witty.
I have a weak arm/throw that I can contribute.
Been working on it a lot with baseball's and stuff, hopefully I can help
>>30116820
I'm a skeleton, so I can do lots of skeleton things.
I can move very quietly and not rattle, unless you guys want me to rattle me bones.
i can fix anything.
>>30116820
We live and die by your orders, Boss.
I'm a journeyman welder so I can nigrig our battlebus.
>>30117412
>>30117736
>>30117889
>>30118861
>>30119375
Tac team assembled.
Grunts and a guy to fix it as we break it. Perfect.
New approximation as to what our too damn small tac team looks like
>a decent mishmash of uniform types but still all over slavboo
>>30119415
By this i mean I'm small and stealthy as fuck.
Plus im smert and quick thinking. Good at nigger rigging and improvising.
Also I'm a smartass.
8 years of intelligence analyst work.
>I can make really neato powerpoints
>>30119538
>>30119559
I am sorry if offended by tac team roster. We no need your smert skeleton
My name is Ivan and I can speak Bulgarian and Finnish.
>>30119593
We still need five guys, one not directly pictured for combat plumber but still in the group
>>30116820
4 years as a radio operator. So I operate hard and know how to shoot comm everywhere.
I can suck my own dick. Give myself mean head too.
>>30119600
Then u r fucked, m8
Ur ass is grass fucker.
>Pic related, me and the bros coming for the /k/ pmc
>>30119756
Try it Mr. Skeletal
I can shoot guns, suck dick and i'm bretty good at hr shit like payroll and telling people that their sexual harassment complaint has been denied
Im the guy that gets shit done
>>30119877
Get back to work Pam
>>30120098
shut up and suck my snatch
>>30120098
That dolphin hasn't been seen for five fucking seasons...
>>30116820
I can tinker and find a way to fix shit. Also have most of my own weapons and gear. Also a quick learner with useful trades. Moderately fit, heart condition though.
>>30116820
infosec competence, ability to eat super hot food (I ate a carolina reaper once) without figuratively breaking a sweat (I do literally break a sweat, but it doesn't upset me or anything).
I was a Combat Engineer in the US Army, am a certified Locksmith, have worked for Securitas and Exelon Nuclear Security and am currently a repo agent contracted to a major bank.
In short I know a thing or two about physical security.
>>30120200
Looks at resume.
"Hmm...overqualified for field work. But we do have something in cafeteria sciences..."
I can gun
I can fix gun
I can fix helicopter
I can fix gun to helicopter
I can make gun fly
I can make the /k/-copter a reality
I also have legitimate combat experience, but nothing that involves dragon dildos, so I know I'm behind the curve on that one.
>>30117736
I can do IT work as well, am no funs but know a little a weapons and love them. Similar to you but weaker, happy to learn
>>30116820
I have all of gelbooru backed up to my machine.
I'm surprised no one has said this yet.
I'm a licensed pilot.
Literally im this without the weapon training, interragation techniques, physical aptitude. Speaking of aptitude hes a medic im not, also is a officer, definitely finished secondary school as if motherbase even has a human resource department.
>>30120428
Bored off ass, assigning everyone.
>>30116883
Cyber-security and counter hacking
>>30117378
Percussion in the band/Assistant in cafeteria
>>30117401
If it is anything better than Makarov stew you are head chef
>>30117412
Tac team one
>>30117434
HR/PR but only when civies turn to ash
>>30117646
Part of recruitment showing that you can screw us over and win
>>30117660
Accounting
>>30117667
Propaganda
>>30117683
Missed reference if there was one. Logistic obtainment. I assume that we will be robbing a lot of third world militaries
>>30117708
If that practice works for other people we will let you hang about outside the base
>>30117736
tac team member. Driver and demolition
>>30117748
Train all day everyday and get jacked on roids and protein slurry. If base gets raided you are the final boss
>>30117808
Head of recruitment. Seem good at allocating meat
>>30117855
Pharmacy. Medical logistics
>>30117868
If those 5 come because of your ability with people you are part of recruiting
>>30117879
Motor pool. Body work and armor work
>>30117889
Head of maintenance/alternate for tac team
>>30117894
Scout sniper
>>30117948
Join jack off on the corner
>>30118062
Head of on base security/MP
>>30118117
Tac team nothing specific
>>30118148
tac team alternate if phama can keep you hyped up. Code name milhouse
>>30118469
After action report writer. Guaranteed that we will have more to improve upon
>>30118503
logistics and marketing
>>30118529
IT head
>>30118846
ambassador for invaded lands
>>30118884
Logistics/light vehicle operator
>>30118912
Ambassador for middle east
>>30118947
Leader of motor pool
>>30119071
Logistics
>>30119096
Motor pool
>>30119258
Run band by night for troop support. General base maintenance by day
>>30119329
Leader of base fire company. Work with those in motor pool and maintenance for a full company
>>30119375
tac team navigator. good back up for when driver gets shot up as you can do both
>>30119404
janitorial
To be continued
>>30120491
Woot.
>>30120491
>ambassador for invaded lands
dank
time to fuck more ching chong bitches and drink even more
I can smoke infinite weed and i have master mushroom/plant ID skills.
Also, I have a mustache that commands respect and awe
>>30116820
Speak Mexican fluently, have admin experience, side hobby is strategic studies research(resident name fag in middle East generals) and have political connections in several countries.
>>30120491
Continued out of boredom
>>30119415
tac team. stealth coordinator
>>30119450
maintenance
>>30119529
depends on where we need the nigrig
>>30119572
intelligence. we will get you a surveillance satellite eventually
>>30119608
keep learning and you are European ambassador
>>30119647
radio operator/trainer for those in the field
>>30119708
teach that as a hired contractor to final boss guy. It will be a secret power when he reaches 25% health
>>30119877
HR, pam
>>30119892
Janitorial. Get shit done
>>30120167
Ordnance repair and quartermaster work
>>30120191
Learn spanish m8. ambassador to Central and South America
>>30120200
Lead engineer for making FOBs and infrastructure as we grow
>>30120272
Aircraft mechanic. Work with intelligence and get us surveillance tech
>>30120302
Part of IT/cyber-security
>>30120333
Mental health adviser
>>30120373
Get in with intel. Surveil with love
>>30120428
So nothing but a human being? Secretarial with financial
>>30120545
We have no place for your skill set
>>30120608
Head of southern relations. Most likely for us to invade. might as well have two on that. You work with spicy food guy.
Hory shet. That was fun waste of... holy shit this only took 20 minutes? The fuck
>>30120491
>after action repot writer
Seems about right
>>30120644
Good, I got connections with the Chilean army and Brazilian elite I can use.
IF YOU ARE REPLYING IN REGARDS TO YOUR POSITION, STATE YOU POSITION.
Currently work with exchange mail servers, know various other computering.
During enlistment I was an aircraft armament dude. So booms and guns on jets plus fix them racks.
No matter how much bullshit I say, do or shitpost I will never be recognized or remembered. I am the ultimate grayman.
Unrelated I'm also really good at baking.
>>30120705
IT, network admin. Unless you can replicate bomb release systems.
>>30120726
Baking. We will have next to no money flour water and yeast is a good foodstuff for us
>>30120753
More shall come if thread is still up next time I am bored.
>>30120753
GODAMN IT NOBODY KNOWS HOW MUCH OF A WEAPONS EXPERT I AM ;_;
fine I'll make hardtack all goddamn day fuck you.
>>30120769
That is what you get, greyman.
>>30120491
>Leader of base fire company.
Noice.
>>30117401
Tfw somebody uses you made :3
I can shoot pretty good, drive, talk 3.5 languages, have my own guns and equipment, hack stuff, programm and shitpost
>>30120232
Remind me to steal your car and chain it to a tree.
>>30120794
ill just mindlessly blend in and be forgotten. Careful, somebody might be pissing in your yeast! though that might kill it and I dont want to waste money. I MIGHT BE DOING IT ANYWAYS. SHITPOSTING.
>>30120491
>>30120644
This is a company that has a bright future ahead of it.
>>30117412
Kekd. Realistic enough to be believable, but bad enough to be laughable
>>30116820
Intel specialist. Sadly that just means I'm pretty good with paperwork and shitty old systems.
>>30117894
Wendy's operator
Security
I guarded nukes; I sure as hell can guard dragon dildos
>>30120753
Given I had access to the right parts I probably could. I can definitely handle the electrical systems for them.... It's been a while though. Stick me in IT I'm good with that.
>>30116820
1.Marine
2. Welder,HE Operator, Machinist, pretty much all Engineering fields 15+ years of service
3.PMI aka Rifle Pistol Instructor
4. Combat Hunters Course, Jungle War Fighting Course, Heat training, SERES
5. CLS 1 and 2 (Combat Life Saving)
6. MCMAP Black Belt Red Tab
7. To old for MARSOC made it past indoc then leg and arm got broken from training accident.
8. Speak, Read and write Eng,Span,Germ, & Russ (was raised this way)
9. Rank E-7 GySgt
10. Family man/ Teacher at Uni
11. Lurk on /k/ mostly
12. Don't want to be /k/ Company Gunny but If I need to yall better not lose any gear.
>>30121035
lost my rifle gunny :(
>>30121035
Never had a rifle gunny.
>>30121035
Lost my dignity Gunny.
>>30121050
> Page 11
> Drinks from flask offers you a drink
> 45/45 because I am cool you keep rank
> EPD until you can replace lost said rifle
> Lets drink again afterwords
>>30116820
I'm pretty handy with a gun and I'm a certified Scuba diver.
>>30121072
T_T7
best gunny i would die for you
>>30121060
Spotted my S4 Clerk
I can speak English, korean, Japanese and bit of Russian. I also have a horse in my backyard so I'm pretty proficient in Horse riding. Plus familiar with medical supplies and worked as a emt for a while.
I also make a mean Ramen noodle and can knit.
>>30121080
Oh also got NJPd one time for fighting Army Officer who fired on our convoy in Iraq and my then Ssgt now MasterGuns took more heat for me. Told me never ruin a Marines carrier if it has something they can learn from and is justifiable. Also make them learn a mistake don't let them want to make more because of one.
>>30121094
Provider of colon cancer with horse meat. Also production of winter gear with the loving itchiness of your grandmother.
>>30121094
how well can you suck a dick and pretend to be a japanese woman?
>>30121094
Do you hate Mongolians?
>>30121108
story pls gunny
>actually had a older retired marine mentor on okinawa when i was an airman
>sounds a lot like you
>>30120644
Am I too late yet? Did martial arts for a few years (Judo and Krav Maga) and can use pistols
>>30121120
I think their stir fry and hotpot are great, but never had a chance to meet a Mongolian before.
>>30121112
I don't think I'll be good at it but I can translate japanese porn for you, I guess.
>>30121131
Sorry brother not that guy =/ however were you asking me about the story of my 1st NJP? Also Gunny likes Fireball, Gentlemens Jack, and Vodka any Vodka.
>>30117889
Gunny can confirm that these guy's are the shit no pun intended. look at it this way. Baby whip bath or a nice hot shower to get the Trashcanastan smell semi off you.
>>30116820
I don't complain.
>>30121166
yes I was hoping to hear that story. what happened?
also my story:
>okinawa gunny actually wrote a letter on my behalf during my NJPs it actually saved my ass
> had to clean his gym up for a month
>and do laundry
>worth it
>>30121087
Fug, I suppose it is better that intel though.
>>30120644
QM and ordinance maintenance and repair sounds good to me
>>30116820
I'm a big guy. I work for the masketta man already.
>>30121166
bumping for story
>>30121230
I give everyone shit. I wanted to be a Grunt but ended up going on being an Eng Chief I love all my Marines. I wanted to be someone everyone could come talk to. I hated that bullshit politics crap everyone pulled. We are men everyone has their place and everyone has a job and everyone is a God Damn Marine. >>30121223
That statement plays into this.
> Be me Lcpl Anon Welder typical rah rah yut yut kill in 04
> Shitsreal.jpg
> SNCOs notice that I am not your average Marine because I am always on top of my AAR (After Action Reports) Because stupid boot Sgt can't into writing. So he has me do it.
> Tell convoy and boot Sgt with boot Lt that we need more guns/armor for this kind of drive 50 miles out to AO.
> Get told shut up boot.
> Ok what ever fuck it Im going to drive
> Ssgt says no we need a gunner
> Ssgt says he agrees with me but the Lt is out for a promotion and a medal
> I remember what that meant because of family in Nam
> Ohforfuckssake.jpg
> 20mins out we see vics we are about a mile away maybe less good distance to know hey that's one of ours.
> We get on Comms let vics ahead know we are heading to location.
> They don't respond figure ok Army is retarded anyways.
> Take fire from Iraqis we wasted them lol move along same shit show.
> Army freaks out shoots at us shoots our vic (were 2nd vic) hits our tires hits our turret
> They role up on us and remember the vic that shot at us
>everyone is yelling and screaming fighting and shit in the middle of Iraq
> Iraqis are stunned a the site of the fighting and what not
> Didn't realize it at the time but I struck a Cap in the face and broke his fingers.
> Everything clears up thought it was cool
> Get back to FOB a few days later
> Hey Devil you are in some shit go get cleaned up
> Aw fuck did someone find my porn and Liquor!?!
> NO! It was that Cap and his Plt and they wanted me to apologize for hitting him and fucking him up
> LOL get fucked.jpg
> Get told if I don't they will take my rank
>>30121411
Continued
> Take my skeeter wings and say fuck you guys
> walk out Ssgt watched the entire thing
> He said to me you are a smart dumb mother fucker
> have a confused face everyone on my end was like what ever.
> Still picked up Cpl at the end of my deployment
>>30116820
i can secure, service, and setup information systems and communications platforms.
alternately i can do a fair bit of basic gunsmithing.
>>30121425
I don't normally post like I said but I lurk and I felt like sharing today because of memorial day. I will say this life will humble you the fuck down.
>>30121436
damn gunny
I can cook minute rice in 57 seconds.
>>30121568
proofs you fucking liar
>>30121568
I can do it faster then that. Napalm can cook ricers in mere seconds
>>30116820
>>30120644
IT/cyber security.
Network engineering.
Linux server management.
Firewall programming.
Network penetration testing and related skills.
Data destruction.
Process auditing.
Good handgun accuracy.
Porn locating and use testing.
I have a lot of milsurp from the 70s 80s and 90s, i have a lot of military in my family specifically USMC, i liek gunz n i am aryan ayy
I can fart on command most of the time
>>30121648
Fart
I am good at jewing and have a good memory
>>30121603
You can go ahead take the network admin title I was given earlier. You're much more qualified than me. I'll work under you or something
>>30121603
As the IT guy who got labelled "IT Head," I look forward to blaming you for everything I did wrong because I'm grossly underqualified for my job.
>>30121697
>>30121706
There are two types of people.
I spend the majority of my free time making twig fires and eating squirrels innawoods.
is that a qualification?
Cause if not then i guess i'm kinda useless.
>>30116820
Serious note, about to finish am EMT-B cert, and can handle my dog if she can come along. Also a reasonable shot with a pistol (never handled a rifle).
>>30116820
I am extremely comfortable with manipulating people in any social encounters to get what I want, which would aid highly in any sort of clandestine operation.
I know Krav Maga/Combat Jiujitsu/Muay Thai and could hold my own unarmed with at least one armed enemy.
That's literally it, though. I don't know anything technical. I'm a social-engineer, operate-only person.
>decent at shooting pretty much any firearm
>manual and CNC machinist
>dabble in CAD
>mad scientist flair
>apprentice gunsmith
"Do we have any of those silver fire proximity moon suits? I wanna try out the magnesium flame thrower I made from the old sand blaster"
>>30116820
>private security contracting company
what kind of contracts would you be taking.
>skills
I'm actually management in a private security firm.
90% of that is data entry, and making sure the plebs under you don't eat paint chips.
>>30121830
>I am extremely comfortable with manipulating people in any social encounters to get what I want
this makes you actually useful for security.
>>30120491
>Run band by night for troop support
Nightly broadcast of "Boots" with optional light show for insomniac soldiers reporting, sir!
TIL /k/ would actually make a pretty skilled company
Ausfag sysadmin hazguns that is ex-navy.
I can wash & iron uniforms like a professional housewife
>>30121723
Do you prefer your squirrels cooked or raw?
I operate trains and shitpost dank memes
>>30116820
I am stronk, I require no weapon, I am weapon.
>>30121035
Lost my virginity, Gunny. I'm pretty sure that dog did, too.
>>30116820
U.S. Army combat engineer and chemistry geek. I can make, then employ my own high explosives. Safely.
I can operate some heavy equipment (poorly,) and string up concertina wire.
I can read terrain and can always pick the best spots for IED emplacements, ambushes, and traffic control points.
But I'm getting old, and fat, and lazy(-er). I will also constantly be getting blowjobs on the corner, whenever you need me.
I can kinda shoot okay. I went to school for aerospace engineering.
>>30122432
Stewed. but have eaten raw to see how it tastes.
You want a recipe?
I can run a mile in under 9 minutes, run for as long as i need to, i can climb a 9 foot vertical wall, and drop sub 1 inch groupings at 500m. Ive been using precision rifles since i was 13. Im also in college to become a neurosurgeon. Where do i qualify?
>>30122665
I mean 9 foot vertical ledge not wall. Havent tried climbing a wall but i pulled myself over a 9 foot ledge that has no footing other than the ledge itself and i can do it multiple times in rapid succession
>>30122466
>buying jaybrans
>top kelc
>>30122752
Yeah sorry about the 5th grader level penmanship had to write it one handed, my other hand was occupied being two knuckles deep in your moms vag
I'm a trap.
>>30122786
Not the other guy but try using a comeback that isnt a terribly overused insult from middleschool
I was a tow gunner so I know how to play with fun toys. Still have my manual somewhere too
>>30116820
I'm already licensed and working as armed security
>quiet
>clean
>licensed to handle food
>can source the most obscure pornography no matter it's origins
>can jack it 8 times in one day, 15 if I destroy my dick
>can steal obscene amounts of office supplies
>can survive solely on sodium rich products
>6th sense for pest spotting
>mildy out of shape
>don't eat much
>basic EMT training
>basic knowledge of anatomy and physiology
I'm also a decent shot with pic related
>>30116820
EMT and 74D from the military. (CBRN specialist).
>>30122950
How out of shape
Not OP
Im >>30122665 weighing in at 150 pounds, or about 70 kilo for yuro
>>30122965
8:30 mile, 190 max bench, cough that pops up some times, a little bit of blood in my poop. I've lost a lot of weight for somebody who doesn't do shit all day.
>>30122979
Dont get me wrong, i dont leave the house either, but because im moderately light weight and climb with my legs, i can scale some insane shit
>>30122988
Well good for you. I feel like we're about the same, physically speaking. Not impressive outside of super specific tasks, not shit terrible either
>>30116820
I'm building an AR, and have made multiple repairs on my dad's AR because he and smith and Wesson are both retarted. I'm the oldest of three brothers and I can drive well competitively. Also from Texas.
>pic unrelated
>Joining the military as we speak
>Have travelled in Africa, South Asia and around Europe
>Uncle actually was a private contractor in the 90's, fixing fixed wing aircraft all across central Africa
>Mountain climbing and solo hiking are among hobbies
>In excellent physical condition
>Did a short tactical course in Cape Town in February while travelling
>Actually know basic survival skills
I'd actually do quite well in that line of work desu, I plan to get into it after the military, I think by 2020 there's gonna be whole wars fought purely by contractors.
>>30116820
Massive quads and I can go running for about 3 hours without food or water.
>4 languages
>can code and set up networking hardware
>can set up network software as well as office software
>loli connoisseur
>first-aid training
>license to handle food and chemicals
>can spent hours doing monotonous task that requires concentration and hand-eye coordination
Good luck finding me a job.
I'm gonna be outclassed but whatever.
>Have a full garage of chemical fertilizers, strong acids (for fine metalcrafting) and stored gasoline.
>Can harvest salpeter in basement
>Can operate anvil
>Can cook actual meals form southern france and brittany
>Can make more than 15 different dishes from potatoes, carrots and leeks only if the times are rough
>Can operate on stove or campfire
>Can skin and gut rabbits and lambs with only knife and a bit of string
>Can operate own genitals more than 20 time a day without problem
>Can operate computer and networks
>In shape
>Small guy (55kg 167cm)
>Can operate comrade genitals with mouth and throat
>Can make alcochol from most edible things
>Can make good alcohol out of honey
>Can't into aiming
>Can GM for you
>>30122130
Paint chips are delicious faggot
>>30123802
>Can't get a full grasp on proper grammar.
/K/anuck here, GTA.
I can weld. Oxy or Arc, (probably MIG or TIG as well)
Cut wood, good with tools. Saw wood, shape metal, etc.
Basic common sense knowledge of how to take care of a firearm.
Can aim, shoot.
A big guy (6'6" 260lbs even. Not incredibly chubby, just beefy.)
Can cook a meal that's not frozen, cooked in the oven/microwave.
Invoke the spirit of dead RCAF Ancestor and fly vintage aircraft.
>Tally ho, lads
Drive, reverse, three point turn. Drive a boat.
Computer/electronics savvy.
Hydraulic Mechanic, incase we Inna tanks.
Writer, have yet to publish any of my short stories.
>Pic related, but have glasses and a nicer ass.
>>30116820
2 years as M109A2 Artilleryman.
Can speak Korean fluently
>>30116820
I dual wield Desert eagles and a former navy SEAL with 300 confirmed kills senpai
I can tie a Shemagh
>>30120644
>RO/trainer
Eh, could be worse. If it helps, I scored expert all four years on rifle range, USMC. Last time with a M4, which everyone knows is inaccurate as fuck. I'm also willing to eat anything, even chow hall food.
>>30116820
Mudick checking in
>>30122130
Same here, majority of the time is spent making sure the retards don't get caught doing retarded shit.
I say caught because I swear it is all they fucking do
I'm a maween that can talk to Artillery pretty good. I've also worked with slovs for the past couple of months so I can deal with ignorance and lack of communication pretty well
Radio operator here
>>30116820
Sometimes I manage to kill people in ArmA3.
>>30122615
Yes
>>30119647
also a radio operator. 2 yrs in the army reserves as a comms specialist.
Army engineer, plumber is designated MOS but I also do carpentry and heavy equipment. Can also do stone masonry.
Can build the fuck out of some fortifications or FOB type shit.
Basically any of the illinist engineer shit that is not electricity. Or explosives.
Can shoot well with rifles and instruct others to do the same, know squad based fire and maneuver tactics, proficient in ambushes and area control or denial. Good leadership skills. Gotta take care of your guys so they can do their job.
Have my own equipment, can arm a few more with rear echelon weapons.
Can also cook pretty well.
>>30130700
Another 12k?
Neato me too.
Also have networking/commos experience along with physical and digital security
>>30116820
I know two martial arts, am fit, have a qt. 314, speak 4 languages and can shortlist furiously if caught.
>>30117646
Kek too real anon
I like writing and i like guns
>>30116820
I can tim-tam a flim-flam at over 50 yards.
>>30123709
She's pretty. Sauce?
>>30116820
I'm Microsoft Office certified for PowerPoint and Word. I also have guns, but I'd assume that is a prerequisite.
Im not in tip top shape but I'm a mechanic that specializes in rebuilding automatic transmissions.
>>30116820
Witty commentary, and a few decent shots on a man sized target.... and IEDs made from dildos.
>>30120151
That's a good thing.
>>30116820
I can disappoint people to death.
>>30116820
I can provide 4 to 5 individuals all willing to slav till the very cheeki end.
One of them is pretty capable of making fuck your shit everything.
>>30132976
Where are you? How much would it cost to get a mechanic to replace a clutch? As of now, the car can only shift between park and reverse
>>30116820
I read everything in .pdf. The infinite amounts of Rosettastone and military manuals will make me a fearsome foe come day of the dildo.
I also pick my mailbox lock and slap my computer until metasploit works.
>>30116820
HVAC.
Y'all want A/C in TOC, armory and housing, don't even try to lie.
>have no real weapons experience except paintball and airsoft
>run 10k in 38 minutes
>skelly who weighs 62 kg at 182 cm
>near sighted (but not too badly)
>armchair general (I enjoy studying military tactics and strategy)
>left handed
What do I become?
I've got 3 guns, a lot of weird ammo, and a distaste for birds or safety.
>>30133547
are a lot of HVAC systems 3-phase?
CAD/CAM, speak/read/write English and French, cook, can do call center work...
I'm in med school and I'm very skilled in being depressed because I've never touched a living girl
I got to first place in Victoria 2 (with HPM mod) as Morocco
Is horse riding an operator skill?
If so then I have that to offer.
>>30116820
I have seen every episode of "Inside the Chieftains Hatch"
>>30133611
Depends on the furnace/heating element.
>>30117924
What is this retard doing attempting to plug a motherboard power supply connector into a parallel port .... this is the type of moron on idiocracy that was having trouble putting the round peg in the square hole.
>>30116820
I have about 400 gigs of porn.
>>30116820
Pros
> I own nine doggers and experienced K9 handler
> I can run long and hard many mile
> I used to be volunteer Fire/Rescue
> I have caught every pokémon
> I can read
> I can understand spanish
> lived in Indonesia for a long time and understand language fluently
>I do not have any diseases
cons
>use too much Kratom as a habit
>>30116820
I'm 100% totaly a doctor.
>but not the medical kind
>or the other kind for that matter
I work as a contractor so I can build shit
I have my own gear and access to boats
>>30135100
Doctor love?
>>30135100
Doctor Love?
>>30135100
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZsoDxdzth1M
>>30116820
> emt-b
> fit
> will provide my kit
> love to teach
> Eagle Scout
Work experience
> tech support
> Waffle House grill operator
> construction worker
> EMS
>>30130700
This fag here. I forgot to mention that I too am an Eagle Scout, since so many are repping in the thread.
I've been in a sniper section for over a year now, and I've been to sniper school. My ghillie suit is pretty sweet, too.
>>30135325
Also, I've taught Sunday school for six year olds before.
>>30116820
>autism
>/k/
choose 2
>>30117894
post pick of dick
I can play videogames and have 2 PSLs and an acr. Also a lot of ammo
>>30116820
i can remove kebab
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ocW3fBqPQkU
>>30135382
>Has experience teaching pre-schoolers
We have ourselves a prime Drill Instructor here.
>detail, head and feet the squirrel
>skin
>part the squirrel
>pan cook pieces with butter
>once meat is light shade of brown prepare largish pot
>fill pot 3/4s the way up
>1 beef boulion cube per 8 oz of water
>diced carrots
>diced potatos
>peas
>corn
>oven temp to 350f
>let sit until potatoes and carrots are soft
>>30137052
Whoops, was for
>>30128534
I thought /k/ finally had a kebab removal division...but no. Never. What the hell am I supposed to do with all this SRT training I have, if I can't kick a door in and throw a dragon dildo with a flashbang taped to it into the room?
Fuck you guys for playing with my emotions.
Trained to work as Fdc
>>30137052
>Not just searing in the pot and then deglazing it when adding the liquid(s)
>>30137052
don't forget how to check for parasites, of course
info should be available on dept. nat. resources website right?
>>30116820
32450 at your service.
>The /k/ontractor company becomes one of the largest PMCs in existance after fighting multible crusades against the world's problems
>europe in ruin from all the cultural enrichment
>not a single government can make a move without backlash and being labeled racist
>the call is made
>400 thousand drunken /k/ommandos get airdropped from /k/opters and airplanes, nugget in hand
>it begins
>the 400 thousand drunken operators shoulder their moist nuggets
>they begin dropping barrage after barrage of glorious russian 7.62x54R
>KOMRADES, AFFIX BAYONETTES
>the end begins
>400 thousand moist nuggets becom 400 thousand pointy moist nuggets
>the march on germany begins
>operators begin to remove kebab, non shall be spared
>merkle is hung from her cankles at the ruins of the holocaust museum that was demolished for being racist to muslims
>nofuns in germany so near no resistance
other than the german armed forces
>which are dispatched with ease with the bubba'd ww2 russian tanks that were aquired in the earlier crusades
>kebab is removed
>the krauts falter within hours
>/k/ annexes the country, renames it Fuddsilvania
>under /k/ rule the country miraculously prospers, within decades becomes a super power
>bridges gap between US and russia
>forges alliance with them both
>Alliance soon dominates the world
>funz for all
>alliance and newly funzd up civies take back europe
>world peace ensues for a millenia
Onwards and upwards gentlemen
It is that time again folks. Time to get your assignment.
>>30120705
IT/aircraft repair if you can make those racks
>>30120726
Hardtack all round/with ordnance repair
>>30120914
Marketing. I like the optimism
>>30120936
Admin work. We will need some bureaucratic systems
>>30120956
On base security/MP
>>30121035
Gunny/working with combat engineer for FOBs
>>30121075
Sole member of the /k/ Navy
>>30121094
Medical
>>30121147
Stealth operator with Mr. Skeletal. Go break some nuts, Krav Maga
>>30121213
FOB construction.
>>30121277
Intelligence gathering/plane requisition
>>30121426
IT/cyber-security
>>30121568
KP duty
>>30121603
Overly qualified. New Head of IT. I acted too soon and got what I had available
>>30121641
work with Quartermaster for uniform distribution
>>30121648
I can't use your skill at this time. Please don't tell of sheep path to Persians over this
>>30121688
No.
>>30121723
Survival training. Read up on all aspects
>>30121804
Medical
>>30121830
Espionage/ security
>>30121933
Work with ordnance
>>30122130
On base operations
>>30122429
That can be used. Work with QM for cleaning
>>30122466
Logistics.
>>30122504
Train with final boss guy. Then you two fight to the death for an awesome backstory for the player. Winner is final boss
>>30122556
Ordnance making bombs and explosives
>>30122609
Aircraft
>>30122665
You are overly qualified for this bullshitery. Go be a neurosurgeon and help the world
>>30122810
Work the corner with the other two.
>>30122864
Aircraft gunner should that become a position
>>30122950
On base entertainment.
>>30122961
Medical
>>30123568
QM assistant
>>30123630
Useful as hell, but already taken. What a shame.
>>30123708
On base courier. No transit except for legs
>>30123709
IT I guess. Or food service.
>>30123802
Absolutely chef.
>>30124701
Base construction with that carpentry/metal. or general repair
>>30124720
Artillery if we can get a cannon
>>30124736
Bullshit is too obvious to be espionage.
Planning on joining millitary
talented sharpshooter
good with my hands, can rebuild from the ground up anything from entire guns, to engines, to computers
competent when it comes to working with explosives, i typically make explosives to fill targets with when i shoot them
capable driver
some medical knowledge from the medic in my family
particularly prefer heavy rifles and pistols of all size
can drink like a fish and feel nothing
i can also reload ammunition rather well
i also have knowlage when it comes to tank shells and artilliary shells
Also 6'3, physically fit, and can lift
father was in millitary, so i also have a common understanding on how operations, both brute force and stealth run
Final and probably most proud of thing, i come from a long line of soldiers
im also a meme overlord
pic related ish?
>>30116820
I can make a mean fried cheese/pastrami sandwich
>>30116820
I ask so many annoying questions daily that the Elder threw me out of the bunker with a sack of bottle caps
>>30116820
If you need one I'm a mechanical engineer by trade but I have a lot of experience with various chemicals and manufacturing methods (Shopping for parts for a DLMS printer right now but I might look into a 5-axis mill instead.)
Also fairly good at shitposting.
I'm a GM in the Coast Guard, I can take apart a M2HB clean it, put it back together, Headspace and Guage it, and it'll work.
also trained on how to train OTHER people to do that.
Here we continue. Wow I have no life. But I think I do well.
>>30124748
Work with uniform creation
>>30125358
Medical either combat or base
>>30126008
Artillery should we get a cannon
>>30128445
Comms
>>30128514
No good use. Kitchen
>>30130365
comms
>>30130700
Build the fuck out of a FOB
>>30131122
Emissary for countries you can speak to
>>30131827
Maintain logs and after action reports/create AARs
>>30132761
long range overwatch in urban locales
>>30132967
Report and paperwork creation. Presentation specialist when big announcements need to be made
>>30132976
motor pool
>>30133030
Report generation for good quality reports and non boring content for them
>>30133092
You are dissapointing me in that you can't be used
>>30133114
general infantry squad, right here
>>30133296
Learn some teaching techniques and impart your knowledge upon us all
>>30133547
Base construction. Got to have AC
>>30133584
Part of the PMC's history branch. Write shit down
>>30133589
Security for runway. No birdstrikes on out battle Cessna
>>30133633
Marketing and PR
>>30133643
Wow that is sad. Medical
>>30133653
not sure what is
>>30133854
That is pretty operator. On base security. Maybe starting a stable for on base patrols
>>30134465
Historian for the preservation of world history for when we overthrow the world
>>30135073
Distribute to base entertainer as a one time contractor
>>30135082
Security. K9 unit
>>30135100
Get out of here you damn Nazi clone
>>30135123
Construction of barracks and bases
>>30135325
Teach first aid and similar skills
>>30135380
Sniper. Where else would I put you.
>>30135780
Drone pilot should that open up
>>30136728
General infantry
>>30137098
General infantry
>>30137192
Chief historian of PMC's activities and actions
>>30137506
Ordinance
>>30137534
KP/chef for lunch special pastrami
>>30137545
A-are you good at punching?
>>30137624
Motor pool/shitposting army should there be anyone angry about our actions
>>30137637
Ordinance and weaponry. Trainer for others
>>30137659
Will continue should the thread still be alive later. Holy shit this is quite fun.
