/k/ I really need your help right now guys I'm struggling out here
I bought my first gun a few months ago. Ever since I did, I've been thinking about killing myself again. It's been over 5 years since I felt suicidal and I could mostly chalk that up to hormones, but I'm older now and my life is by literally any metric great: decent job, doing well in university, healthy relationship, good friends. But ever since I got a firearm, I'll get this urge...this itch, almost, to just take it and blow my goddamn head off. The itch isn't that bad or anything, I'm not unhappy. But I'll stare at it, loaded, and just want to take it and end my life with it.
I don't know what to do about this; it's actually scaring the hell out of me if I'm being honest. And it's ME scaring the hell out of me. I've had this problem in other contexts before. Sometimes if I'm up high somewhere I'll just get this desperate itch to jump off. Bottle of pills, I'll get the urge to just down them all. How fucked up am I? What do I do about this? Should I get rid of the gun? I mean I love the thing and I've always liked firearms, but I think there's something really fundamentally wrong with me if I'm being honest. What do I do?
>>30090942
It's just part of being human. Sometimes you look at situations like that and think huh wonder what it would feel like if... Like you have never seen a jogger while driving a thought "wonder what it would feel like to just run that guy over"?
I wouldn't sweat it. If you start to be concerned you might act on it, let someone you trust keep the fun for a while.
your best bet would be to get rid of the gun because having it around your house for someone dangerous like you to have it around. the gun is just putting you at risk man.
>>30091002
>Like you have never seen a jogger while driving a thought "wonder what it would feel like to just run that guy over"?
All the damn time. Also I sometimes think of chopping off one of my fingers if I'm cutting vegetables. I don't cook much.
>>30091010
I might do but I might just be overreacting to something normal.
>>30090942
Go rent a gun at a range and blow your brains out, give them a story.
>>30091020
If that happens you know president Shillary will be outlawing rental guns and shooting ranges, right after she gets her awb passed, right?
>>30091071
>>30091071
>Still thinks she is going to win.
>>30091010
>>30091020
Sure is summer in here.
>>30090942
If you haven't done it yet, there's a reason. Considering it time and again is pretty standard. Get a hobby you can do at home, also an animal.
>>30091091
No one else running is going to beat her.
>>30090942
>>30091015
The French call it 'the call of the void'. That part of you that wants to not only see the world burn, but start the fires yourself. Sounds like you've got it particularly bad. If you're really worried about it you could see a psychologist. You don't even have to mention the gun, just say something like 'sometimes I feel these destructive tendencies, how can I cope with this?'
