Some idiot's "how many have you killed, bonus points for unusual weapons" thread just got closed before i could answer, but i think it's actually interesting.
How many of you have actually deployed and have seen combat?
Did you see friends get killed, do you know if you killed someone yourself? How do you feel about it today?
This is what i just wanted to post.
I don't feel anything actually. Maybe i'm a bit proud, but i never talked about it besides on this board's anonymity, my girlfriend and my psychologist. I'm proud i might have saved a lot of peoples' lifes and surely those of my friends and comrades. And i'm sad about everytime i missed. Thinking about it every single day, since 10 months.
I'm having sleeping issues for some reason i'm not sure of, it's always being awake half the night and thinking about war. Also got a tinnitus that seems to be flexible or something, it's changing altitude from time to time. Makes concentrating very hard, everytime it does i get "emotional flashbacks", that's what i call them. It's like i emotionally travel back to some certain combat situations. It's not like i'm sad or depressed over all, it just feels like i lost a big part of my soul over there, and that part is still at war.
What's /k/'s experiences? I know this board is not all neckbeards and fat loners, that's just some stupid meme those guys make up to make their existence feel better.
>>29932960
bomp.
>>29932960
that's pretty cool bro, i wish i got a first kill. alas.
kind of wish the day when I kill someone never comes, as that would most likely mean that my country is at war and three guys out of my five-man team are dead or wounded & I'd be the one directing mortar- and/or artillery fire, if it came to that I'd probably end pretty messed up.
>>29932960
See, the thing about /k/ is, the few veterans and others who have killed can post anonymously and get it off their chest without worrying about possible repercussions. The problem is though, you have to wade through 150+ posts of lying little shits, also anonymously posting, before you'll find a few legitament stories.
I've found those who are more open to talking about killing are older men like WWII and more recently Vietnam vets, while Gulf War and Iraq/Afghanistan vets are more reluctant to talk about it, my guess being the huge difference in time to cope and come to terms. The problem with that is, /k/ is filled with 16-26 year olds, so the few that leaves a very small miniorty group that's actually even old enough to have seen combat and the likes. Meaning that a majority of the posts you will see are lying little shits.
>tl:dr /k/ is a terrible place to ask for stories about killing
>>29932960
what happened anon
I only think about the first guy I killed and the first guys I lost. The others are just kinda numbers. I think about it nearly everyday, but not in a way where it emotionally compromises me. In the end I was just following orders, as cliche as it sounds. Some other things I saw stuck with me (a guy getting his throat ripped out by a German shepherd, another one being beaten to death with rifles, the bodies of our guys getting loaded, the caskets with flags in the aircraft sitting next to me going home) but it's really just the first kill and first death that I always think about.
Oddly enough I was at the gas station the other day buying a pack of smokes and the girl at the counter said no one ever buys that kind, told her I do because it's all the had when I was deployed. She asked me how it was, if I had to fight. I laughed and she said oh I guess you can't talk about it. I told her there was some fighting but for the most part it was ok.
I've never killed anyone. But I know people who have. My dad being one of them.
>inb4 hurr durr underage
I'm 23, and my dad's nearly 45. He was in the military and then was in federal law enforcement for my entire childhood. I told him I wanted to join the military, get into Law Enforcement, etc. like him one day (this was when I was about 16.)
He opened up to me, most likely to try and steer me away from walking in his shoes. But that's not the point. He told me I may have to kill people then told me about the people he killed, and how it affected him.
And from what he told me, I hope I never have to do what he did. Because he did some seriously fucked up shit. And saw some fucked up shit. Which explains why he was the way he was growing up.
>>29934121
Thank you for your cervix
>>29934121
>year after separation
>full NEET mode
>buddy introduces me to a new chick from his job
>don't want to meet her but whatever
>show up still in sweatpants, have her follow me back to my house
>"So anon, Dave told me you were in the Army?"
>yup
>"But you were like an Engineer right, not front line or anything. "
>no, Combat Engineer, did Route Clearance and saw a good bit of action
>surprised look
>blurts, "But you never killed anybody right?"
>see immediate regret on her face
>"Oh God don't answer that I'm sorry, but I mean it's fine if you did, well not fine I guess, what I mean is...I'm sorry I shouldn't have asked that, you don't have to answer, I'm sorry maybe I should go, that was so rude."
>getting a kick out of watching this qt spill her spaghetti all over my living room
>tell her it's fine, yes I did, no it doesn't bother me
>she is visibly relieved
>apparently asked her grandpa that when she found out he was in Vietnam and he went all agent orange
>change the subject, we sit and talk for three more hours, go out on an actual date the next day
And that's how I met my wife.
>>29934681
joining the Canadian military as a combat engineer in august any tips or shit i should keep in mind
>>29932960
>what it's like to chew 5 gum.
>>29934066
Basically. I told a story here before but I'm not going bring it up every time there's one of these threads. Might be archived somewhere.
>>29934066
>>tl:dr /k/ is a terrible place to ask for stories about killing
You're probably right, what would be a good place? Are there good veteran boards?
>>29934121
Where were you that you killed so many people? Falluja? What happened that lead to hand to hand combat? Also were did you ride next to bodies? Did they run out planes that they had to send you guys next to the bodies instead of sending them in a separate plane before you guys were sent home?
>>29934914
don't blow yourself up
>>29932960
Been there, done that, got the shirt, AFG.
Every unit around me had a few to dozens dead, we had 0. End of deployment it was some 177-0. My platoon was the one that they focused on the whole time (an atempt on moral) so my platoon had about a 65% sent back from injury, including me.
Worst I ever seen was 2 bodies take up three trash bags. Always gets wide eyed looks and hearty laugh out of me.
>>29934066
that's just a combination of the fact that modern soldiers are more pussy than the older crowd was, life was generally harder back then. And also the fact that the older crowd can at least pretend they fought for something because most people believe the holocaust(tm) actually happened whereas the newer crowd knows they were duped by the Jews to enrich the MIC and insure Israeli hegemony and futher erode rights and freedoms of the people they swore an oath to defend.
>>29934066
IRQ/AFG have wages longer than virtually all other wars combined, a massive slice of the population and churned through, most only doing one contract (6 year max).
Shut up.
I was an Air Force 18X.
>signed up for the MOS for the huge enlistment bonus, and cushy AF lifestyle
>graduate the yearlong training program
>staffed with piloting MQ-9 Reaper
>mostly tasked with surveillance and providing live video feeds for the government
>very time consuming, detail oriented work, but the pay's alright and the coffee is good
>get treated as a second class citizen by pilots for "playing glorified video games"
>commanding officer sends me out for training
>training on operating armed MQ-1 drones
>this is considered a step down in the drone operating community
>complete training and tasked with around the clock combat air patrols
>now my work is more intimate with the targets on the ground
>along with knowing where they are, and the surroundings around them, I can end their life with the flick of a switch
>watch targets incinerated, from a Hellfire missile, activated by my own index finger from a control console thousands of miles away
>become disgusted with my work
>my contract ends and I don't re-up
>I don't feel like a man, I feel like a coward
>>29935523
I'd like to say something to make you feel better, but i don't know what. I can understand you feel like a coward, i'd be disgusted by that, too.
How often do you think you hit innocent people? You know, people holding something that might have looked like a weapon from above? Or people that just stood in a group with someone holding something like that?
I heard the amount of innocent people getting killed by drones in Pakistan is huge. And the drones are always in the air in some area, i don't want to think of the poor children, elders and women living in such an area, knowing there could be a rocket impact any time.
>>29935523
how does it feel your victims are around 90% civilians? Just how do you react to such news? It would fuck me up
>>29935523
On a scale from 0-10: how enjoyable is killing children when drinking coffee?
>>29935599
>>29935640
>>29935654
Boy, it sure got edgy in here.
>>29935599
This is what bothered me the most. A video image from 20,000 feet in the air leaves a lot to the imagination. Any 12 year old kid looks like a military aged male. An old man with a stick can look like a fighter with a weapon. Before requesting clearance to engage, we are supposed to make several passes over the target, ideally in a circular pattern. We want the most clarification, a full 360 degree view of the mark, in order to make the most educated decision before engaging. But even this does not provide 100% certainty that the target is a threat.
I don't think I have hurt any innocents, but for the reasons explained before I cannot be absolutely certain.
>>29935523
As someone who was a grunt you were doing the lords work son. Anytime we heard that stupid lawnmower engine and then a boom we knew there was one less shit bag to worry about.
>>29935758
>edgy
you're a retard.
>>29936353
You calling me a retard convinced me that you totally aren't an edgy faggot!
>>29936437
how exactly was anyone "edgy"?
68W/ Combat medic / health care specialist
Not sure if I ever killed someone, but we definitely put a lot of rounds in there directions. Not sure if mine are what hit if that makes sense.
We had a lot of indirect fire and little rocket attacks on our FoB so i did see a lot of people fucked up in the AID station. Some serious injuries from Casevacs coming in too, but it wasnt always bat shit crazy like you think in "restrepo."
I'm personally proud of my participation. I did my part, saved some dudes, helped out where i could, went about with my life.
I do get really annoyed when i hear people talk about casualty care, or how to treat wounds, especially here on /k/. Like when people tlak about preparing bug out bags, or in civilian world when people act like they know what to do when there's a car accident and whatnot.
>>29935523
>but the pay's alright and the coffee is good
>watch targets incinerated, from a Hellfire missile, activated by my own index finger from a control console thousands of miles away
Have you ever killed anybody while drinking coffee?
>>29935270
Kandahar/Helmand River Valley.
>>29935344
Do you honestly believe this /pol/ nonsense?
>>29935523
KEK are you Ethan Hawke or did you just watch A Good Kill? Try actually being there son, with bullets that go both ways.
>>29936730
Not that guy but I was drinking a rip it and eating a Mars bar when I did.
>>29936829
>Try actually being there son, with bullets that go both ways.
THIS. That guy is either a pussy faggot or a fake. Nobody cries over killing sandniggers on a TV screen.
>>29934122
My dad served too. had the same kind of sentiment, told me about it so wouldn't enlist. I still think about doing it. He was drafted, honorably discharged as an E5. Said he did his job the best he could and left. He didn't want me to go.
>>29936448
>le you killed children
>le you killed civilians
>le you killed innocent people
Kill yourself
>>29936952
Yeah because people on a monitor aren't real.
>>29935760
There is a book called On Killing by Grossman you should read. It's about how the further we separate ourselves from killing the easier/harder it is to deal with. We went from hitting each other with rocks to stabbing with swords to shooting with arrows to shooting with scopes to artillery to drone strikes and everything in between. I think it would be cathartic for you. Just type on killing pdf into Google.
"Waahhhhh I got paid $60,000 for 9 months of fighting farmers and came back with full benefits and awards"
Every soldier before you has had it harder, ranging from Vietnam to those in the Revolution.
inb4 "hurr durr you don't know about MUH BROTHER HOOD"
I was a 13B for 8 years.
>>29937188
i dont think anyone who was there is saying it was harder than any conflict before us, just that killing effects you regardless.
>>29932960
Answered this briefly in the last thread, but will do so again here.
>Did I kill anyone?
Honestly don't know, know that I shot at least one guy, maybe two. Only ever PID those two though.
Kind of like not knowing, but also feel like a shitbag for not doing more.
>Did I ever see friends get killed?
Them actually get killed? no, escorted one in through the "black gate" on his way to the CSH. He was already dead, and I didn't even know it was actually him until later that day, though I was close with his whole crew. The rest of that crew was killed less than a week later in a deep-bury.
>>29935295
Good advice right here.
>>29937214
I have never seen a generation of soldiers so ready to pat themselves on the back. I see this shit every Veteran's/Memorial Day
>>29937250
because our generation was raised in the lessons learned from nam. after the first gulf war, being a soldier was popular again, the military was lauded and it was almost back to WWII type sentiments regarding service. now we're back to unpopular wars that the public doesnt give a shit about but the sentiment of thanking soldiers for their service has remained. i hate it as well, especially when people interchange veterans and memorial day.
I shot a dude with a 240 once. It was pretty cash. He kind of deserved it though for being retarded and using the same firing point over and over again. I wasnt even trying to kill him, just deny him access to the doorway and he walked into a rope of 7.62 from me and 5.56 from our SAW gunner. We kept getting shot at but couldnt find the other firing points. Probably murder holes in some building. My squad kept shooting his body. It was a mess.
The only thing that stayed with me is what I felt when I saw one of our dudes step on an IED during a clearing op. It wasnt seeing him in the air and how his legs moved in ways they shouldnt have. It was what came after. There was no one to kill. Nothing I could do. He was dead and I couldn't take one of theirs. I just sat there behind my 240 feeling nothing but hate just begging god for someone I could kill. There was no one. They just loaded him onto the brit chinook and that was it. I will never forget the feeling of wanted to murder every living thing but not being able to. I found out that day what real hate was.
>>29934681
Congrats brother.
>>29937277
i know your feels bro. lost 6 guys at once doing a mission they were not suited for that we had warned brigade of and all i could do was watch them load the bodies.
>>29937188
Fuck man the civil war holy shit that was a goddamn nightmare
>>29934121
>feelsbadman
>>29936755
Really I was in Taghaz and it was not even close to as kinetic as you seem to imply. There was combat but nothing as that lead to hand to hand. Most of our engagements were past 100 meters (most of the time more) and all of our KIA's were IED or suicide bombers. Also our casualties were sent home right away and in fact my friend had his funeral while we were still in country. Marjah was the biggest offensive and even then it wasn't as bad as you seem to insinuate. You're making Helmund sound like fucking Phantom Fury.
>>29937593
hey bud, >>29934121 here.
I never once said anything about hand to hand, this kid >>29935270 for some reason got that out of my first post. I moved around a bit from RC S to SW and RC W and you're right, it wasn't that crazy all the time, but it seemed that there was an imaginary line near the helmand river that whenver we crossed it, everyone stepped out of their house to shoot at us. the guys we lost from my unit were not the ones i was next to on the plane home, which i may have made confusing. i flew on a C17 back to the states and we stopped in bagram on the way out, they put 4 caskets on the plane with us and it was very confusing because we hadn't heard of any US casualties in a few weeks. turns out they were spooks, but riding next to the bodies until dover is something ill probably always remember.
>>29937593
>>29935270
fuck it took me a minute to realize where you were getting the hand to hand bit from. let me clarify, the guy who got killed by being buttstroked to death was unarmed. we were doing a joint mission with afghan commandos and those dudes did not fuck around, if anyone ran away from the lz during the insertion and didnt stop when they were told to, they died. this guy was running away from the lz and they were screaming at him to stop after the lift birds had completed the infil, he finally did and when they caught up to him they just started going berserk. the first commando came running up and a full sprint and drop kicked this guy in the head, even though he was already on his knees. the second commando came up and just start hammering on the guys dome with his rifle and that was that. sorry, its been a long day.
>>29937593
>helmund
I'm a soft fuck and afraid of dying so I never joined the army, but I've wanted to kill someone ever since I was old enough to know what that meant. When I was like 4 I used to fantasize about executing my stuffed animals like some medieval axe man. I've never killed anyone, but I've seen corpses in the flesh before, and they just make me want to be the guy that makes someone that way.
I'm not trying to be edgy, although I realize it sounds edgy as fuck. I honestly think some people are just that way. I mean, I'm not military, but surely there are guys who join up just to get to kill someone, right?
>>29937188
>i wuz 13B hurr
Shut the fuck up you POG. How much fucking fire have you taken? How many of your buddies did you see get killed?
>>29937767
>C17 back to the US
What year was that? We just took a C17 to Manas AFB and then commercial to Europe and then the US.
>>29937831
Yeah that makes more sense. Sorry I got butt blasted but I fucking when people either make up insane sounding war stories. Like I had a dude come into my work telling some bullshit story how he's some black ops Expendables type merc who has worked in Africa and suffers from PTSD but can't get help because there's no VA for mercs.
>>29934681
heart warmed as fuck, i'm happy for the two of you
>>29938111
Correction Helmand*
>>29937767
spooks?
>>29938352
2014. Ha before I joined I had a guy at the pizza joint I worked at tell me how he was a ranger, black ops, the whole 9. If I ever saw him again I'd kick him in the jaw.
>>29938393
>insert 3 letter agency
>>29935344
So why do more soldiers fire thier guns at people than in ww2
>>29938480
>citation needed
I know plenty of guys who never fired a single shot in afg or iraq
>>29934914
get ready for full on Cock Entering Rectum for your trades course. K75 sucks ass. Heading back tomorrow actually
>>29938393
I thought day/k/are was over for today. Must be extended hours...
>>29936806
not him, but what part of his post was incorrect?
>>29935523
>18x
>chair force
This is clearly fake you fag. Theres no special forces drone operator unit.
>>29932960
I was that idiot.
I deleted the post myself because I realized it was an inappropriate question to ask, and on top of it, I phrased it in a way that could be considered offensive since I wasn't thinking very well, as I've been feeling like shit lately.
This isn't an attempt to gain understanding or sympathy. It's an attempt to prove to no one who really cares that I can own up to my own retardation.
If it serves as consolation, I've wished life or death situations upon myself constantly since I was 12 since I grew up around veterans who said I didn't deserve to live until I'd taken a life myself. I still have that sentiment at heart.
Since then, I've been in many situations that have tried vehemently to kill me, but none of which would involve me killing someone else.
I can only hope for more to atone for my mere existence.
Inb4 "summer"
I'm just trying to clear this up.
One of my Uncles was in 'Nam. He was a really nice guy, funny as hell, and took my cousins and I fishing and camping when we were kids. A year before he passed away from cirrhosis of the liver, he took us up to the mountains one last time. I was a teenager by then, and this was during my summer break. Now, you have to understand that while my uncle was a funny guy, he got a lot less funny when he drank. One our second night camping, we were all a little drunk and sitting around the campfire. A friend of mine had just finished telling us a crazy story (one I simply can't remember the finer details of anymore) when my uncle decided to suddenly open up about his time during the war. He had done it before, but what he told us that night has haunted me for years.
My uncle was one of the guys who fired mortars into smalls villages where enemy soldiers were supposedly hiding out. A few times a week he would destroy a village of "soldiers" and was being told he was doing the right thing. Now, I understand that war is hell, but the truth of what he was really doing was beyond fucked up. One day they decided to take a trek through a village he had previously blown to shit, and my uncle finally saw the result of his actions; the entire village was full of dead civilians, including small children. He apparently did a bunch of cocaine after that, stole a jeep, proceeded to ride it through the jungle like a madman, and even tried to shoot his commanding officer when they finally caught up to him after he crashed it. Shortly after that, he was dishonorably discharged and sent back home. He broke down and we carried him to one of the tints to sleep it off.
I miss him to this day and hope I never have to experience the hell he went through. Rest in peace, Uncle Jackie,
>>29935523
yeah this is fake
>>29936704
Care to go into more detail regarding the civvies?
