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Anonymous
2016-05-01 00:30:19 Post No. 29794006
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Anonymous
2016-05-01 00:30:19
Post No. 29794006
[Report]
>BANG
>BANG
>CRASH
>home invader breaking in to rape and kill my family
>grab my trusty smart gun from my bedside
>slide to unlock on the built-in touchscreen a couple times until it works
>type in my PIN on the keypad
>mistyped it
>fuck
>password reset in process
>reconnect smart gun to my Facebook account
>look down the barrel for retinal scan (it's OK, because the gun is smart)
>hear the intruder downstairs, he's broken in
>Siri asks for voice confirmation by having me say "The Second Amendment means that the people have the right to keep and bear arms in a state militia."
>repeat it
>"I'm sorry, I had trouble understanding you. Can you say it again?"
>say it louder this time
>"Thank you, your new smart gun will be activated soon. Waiting for server... signal lost."
>wave the gun around the bedroom until I get good service and it finishes registering
>hear kids screaming in the background
>"I'm sorry, your current geolocation is not at a federally approved firing range. If your life is currently in danger, please press one. Para espanol, oprima numero dos."
>press one, get auto-enrolled in a payment plan for "emergency firearm use fee"
>thug bursts through the bedroom door
>quickly point the smart gun at him
>FUCK
>he's black
>the smart gun's computer vision disallows firing on targets with more melanin than the owner
>system puts me in a queue to get manual human override from a remote government office
>the thug raises his own old-fashioned gun
>doesn't even look like it has social media integration built into it
>"all of our agents are currently busy, your estimated wait time is... 40... minutes... your life is important to us, please hold"
>BANG
