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>>29741837
I used to go innadesert every day from like 8-13 years old and my legs and ankles are permanently scarred by all the cholla cactus I used to get stuck by.

there better be some fucking guns in this story

>>29741837
part 2
>we go full black ops, jumping fences, crawling checking every corner.
>all of sudden the guy im with says "oh shit, run anon!"
>we start running
>the rest of our group finds us and is now running with us.
>My best friend does this awsome leap of a bush while running but then lands on stump.
>squeals like hurt dog.
>fuck me and dude from before pick him up and put his arms on our shoulders so he can run with his good foot while we support him.
>we are almost home free.
>turn the corner into culdesac my best friend lives but right when we turn the corner his neighbor motion sensitive flood light cut on and our location is completely blown.
>fuckfuckfuck.jpg
>we get to my best friends house, everyone but me jumps through the window as we hear the tires of the highschoolers car screech into the neighbor hood.
>i try to jump through window and i cant im too fat to into the window.
>Best friends is try to pull my winny the pooh ass through but i tell him to stop and i run to the tree line a few feet from the house.
>light in the window goes out as i dolphin dive into the dewey wet underbrush of the woods.
>the car swings in and drive around the culdesac then stops right right in front of the woods im hiding in.
>*car window rolls down*
>*a cloud of smoke rolls out*
>im shitting my self.
>what feels like 10 minutes goes by but is probably just minute as i stare at this window waiting for something to happen.
>*window rolls back up and leaves*
>i watch it go out of sight then i go back to the window my friends jumped through.
>now the blind is down and the light is on.
>i peak through a hole in the blind, the door to the hallway is open.
>everyone but my friend is pretending to sleep on the floor of the room.
>I decide i would wait for my friend to come back before i knocked.
>5 minutes go by.
>my best friends mom walks to the open door and peers in before going back to her room.
>best friend comes back into the room and cracks the window.

cont.

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>>29741971
part 3
>friend whispers "go to the garage side door ill let you in"
>go to the door
>he lets me in and tell what happened while i was outside.
>apparently my best friend the genius he was knew that his mom would wake up from the noises and instinctively ran to the bathroom cut on the light and fan.
>when his mom came and checked on us he told her i was taking a shit in the bathroom.
>fuckyeah.jpg
>We do nothing for a few more hours because we are too amped to sleep
>finally around 6am we decide to venture out again.
>we head back to the shit convertible.
>now its clean and the cover is up.
>sometime in the night, the owner got up and saw shit on his cars, cleaned them and went back to bed.
>we checked the party house(from the woods of course)
>sexy window is closed
>everyone has left, and trash is all over the yard.
>my best friend walks over to the front porch opens a cooler and comes back with wine cooler.
>With the biggest fucking grin he says"all i wanted was something to drink"

The End

>>29741862
sorry there arent any, stories of stupid shit /k/ did as a kid.

but ill give you a gun story.
i once pulled an empty gun on a kid on my front porch.
>he had a knife and was mad that i broke his glasses from a fight we got in a few days before.
>he was shitting himself all wide eye with a pair of broken glasses on his face when i pointed it at him.
>I knew the gun was unloaded so i pulled the trigger.
>*click* went my single barrel and *bang* went the door as i slammed it in his face.

I realized right afterward how dumb that was and that was the only ive ever pointed a gun at someone.

Pic related: his face.

That's a pretty shitty story OP.

>>29742148
I gave you one of my best
sorry you didnt like
you have a better one?

>>29742173
I have to agree nothing even happened. Like nothing at all its kinda boring man.

>>29742267
I guess you had to be there, sorry?

>slavshit
>Around 13
>roaming around the neighbourhood with fellow comrades
>looking for dumpsters with old shitters someone tossed
>blowing up old shitters with bootleg firecrackers
>smoking cigaretes also
>those were good times

>>29741837
When I was a kid, My friends and I would make pretend machine gun nests by digging shallow holes in the ground and using sticks to make the machine guns.
We would do this during recess, but we weren't allowed to "play guns," because my school was run by morons. So when the teachers would ask us what we were doing we'd say we were making telescopes.

>>29741837
Post on /k/

>>29741837
So you're from India?

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Your story was funny at the beginning, but got slow and wasn't /k/ related. Shame on you

Anyway

>Be me, 12-13
>Every weekend at my friend Peter's house, because he lived nearby and his parents didn't give a shit what we did.
>Used to play paintball in his front yard (also his neighbors' yards)
>He always had fireworks regardless of the time of year.
>Used to terrorize any other kids we saw around his neighborhood in the weirdest ways
>Would follow them around until confronted and then act like they were crazy
>threw trash at passing cars
>lit trashcans on fire

We were the worst

>Anyway, Peter had this bucket of .22s in his garage
>We used to lightly tap the bullets with hammers so that they would deform just enough to easily slide from the casings

smartkids.bmp

>30-40 shells = 1 pile of brass + 1 pile of lead + 1 pile of gunpowder
The brass was usually just left in suspicious places around the neighborhood like people's mail boxes, front door steps, and randomly tossed into their backyards
>The gun powder usually went into tennis balls -- these resulted in varying levels of success (mainly non-success).
>The lead however... One of us got the brilliant idea to melt it down in his parents cookware

yes their cookware
no they never found out...
His mom over the years has become progressively crazier
She now has a pretty large youtube channel about her astrology
And looks and sounds like the mother from the Oblongs

Back to the melted lead

>We would then pour the lead into spoons and make little molds of the spoons
>These were brought to school and given to other kids
>When kids in the neighborhood were encountered we'd often beckon them over all secret squirrel like and try to sell the pieces of lead like they were some form of real shady contraband

Anyway, I don't know how we didnt died. I'm pretty sure his family all has lead poisoning now too.

>pic semi related

This is more 4chan related than /k/ related but still I'm sure many of you can relate

>be fatty
>stacy sister makes highschool life a living hell
>tells everyone all I do all day is watch anime and jack off to cartoons
>had enough
>spend 1 year cutting and reached ottermode
>didn't know what style girls liked so I start dressing like the fuckbois my sister likes
>sister stops being a bitch, but she also barely talks to me anymore
>replies with short "yeahs" whenever I try to talk to her
>doesn't hold eye contact with me for longer than 4 seconds
>creepy ass hoe
>notice one of my doujn incest h-mangas are missing
>freak the fuck out thinking my parents found it
>I wait for them to confront me about it
>dinner time comes
>nothing comes up about it all day
>sweet, safe friend probably took it when I had him over"
>go to bed

>>29746360
>wake up at 4 am
>hard as diamonds
>thought about jacking off but decided to just take a piss and let it calm down on its own
>bathroom passes my sister's room
>notice her lights are on from the doors crack
>as I get closer I start hearing what sounds like Mac n cheese being stirred in a pot
>hear moans
>"mhmm...anon...ahh...ah...yes anon"
>my sister snuck a guy in! (I know I'm retarded)
>busted
>I open her door to bust her with a guy while parents are home
>see her on the bed with her shirt up, jammies off. Her legs spread open to expose her drenched hairless slit. My manga at her side.
>we both look at each other shocked her fingers still inside her as she closes her leg
>without thinking I I close her door behind me and sit myself next to her
>she gives me this look of shame and just looks down, trying her best to cover her small perky breast
>I lean in and give her a kiss
>then another
>and anotha one, grabbing her from the back of her neck and forcing my tongue onto hers.
>she gives in and gets on her back with me looking down on her
>"anon...are w-"
>don't fucking talk to me, I'm here to train I'm not here to talk
>ignore her and start sucking on her neck while my fingers rub her sloppy pussy
>I spread her legs open and start sliding my cock up and down her roast beef
>she's straining her neck watching me tease her
>"tell me you want it"
>she looks at me with this sad as fuck look and whimpers
>"please fuck me anon"
>I slowly ease my hard cock in
>she closes her eyes and knocks her head back
>I can feel her tightening up, trying to keep me from getting in deeper
>I grab the headboard and give her a strong thrust
>she yelps, but I cover her mouth just in time
>start fucking her slimey cunt while I cover her mouth
>sound of her muffled moaning makes me cum in minutes
>pull out and cum all over her freckled stomach
>feel like a complete degenerate after cumming
>panic
>grab my manga and say sorry
>go back to my room and take a piss out the window

When I was like 7, I would go to the poor neighborhood where my dad lived and gather up my neighbor's kids, get my arsenal of toy guns, and play a variety of war. We'd do recreations of Arnhem, Rorke's Drift, Iwo Jima, Gettysburg; whatever. Shit was great. Kinda sucks knowing that half of them have probably grown up to be gangbangers or druggies. It also taught me that niggers aren't nigger even in shitty neighborhoods. It happens when they're teenagers.

Another thing that I did in my elementary school (which wasn't in a shitty part of town) was play Indiana Jones during recess, and we would take turns being the Nazis or the Jonses. The lunch ladies didn't like when we played with pretend guns and scolded at us, but we continued on a few minutes later. On rainy days when we would stay insidex we would make guns out of the plastic connector things. As long as we said it was a stealth bomber instead of a gun it was ok. Shit was stupid.

Then I switched to a private school in 5th grade. We would play WWII with the teachers right there and they didn't give a shit. If anything they enjoyed our appreciation of history. Sucks to think that in order for my kid to not only a good education but a non-shitty one; private school is basically a must.

I grew up in a community on the outskirts of Grozny in what is now known as the Chechen Republic, I was born in 1979 under the Soviet Union.

When I was 15 years old the Russian offensive had just begun. I spent months stranded there with what little family had left behind. My uncle was a Chechyn fighter, and my "cargiver" at the time. Many times I was handed a weapon and told to help fight instead of running. I never hit anyone but i shot at the Russian soldiers on certain occasions.

It got to a point where they wouldn't let me leave. They saw me as a grown man and told me to fight or there would be consequences. I saw many people die, including friends. My uncle was hit by artillery and died. A few days after hearing about his death in the city I took what i could and left. Was on my own in the Chechyn countryside for about 3 more months until the peace treaty was signed. Then I returned to Grozny. When I turned 22 I moved to Germany and then to the United States a few years after that. Only real /k/ experiences that pertain to my childhood.

And thankfully the only "combat" experience i've ever had and hopefully ever will have.

>>29741837
While growing up I had a step dad who had both mesothelioma and emphysema, he had been addicted to prescribed opiates for years but at this point we didn't know yet. He took shitloads of any kind he could get. Anyhow when I was about 8 one day my sister and I were bored so he gave us a paper bag of firecrackers and a lighter, told us to light and throw in the road.This was 1987 when the cool kind were sold everywhere, so we have a bag of Silver Salutes and M80s. We couldn't get the lighter lit to light them so I told my step dad, he then lit three cigarettes and gave them to me to light the firecrackers which I did and it was fun. Then when I was 9 he gave me a shitty .22 revolver from the flea market and the only thing he said is "you probably shouldn't take it to school".

These are the least of the terrible parenting things he did, I had a lot of fun growing up though.

>Be me
>9-10 years old.
>Bored as hell.
>Go innawoods behind house.
>It's barely an acre with ten trees, but it was close enough.
>Fuck around for a bit.
>See deer shit.
>Remember Army FMs and other books I read.
>Pretend to be field tracker.
>Shit looks slightly dried, probably a few hours old.
>Look around.
>Trail of stamped dirt means deer have walked here many times and will probably return.
>Look out window with binoculars to see if I can spot deer.
>Next few days nothing happens.
>Watch some shitty B movies.
>One is a spy movie.
>Tripwire trap.
>Get idea.
>Mix shitload of matchhead powder with striker powder.
>Tape mixture to mouse trap.
>Tie fishing line to trap trigger.
>Place trap in bush.
>A few days later.
>Get woken up to loud bang.
>See panicking doe smash into our fence
>muh sides.bmp
>Flashlights start glowing.
>oh fuck
>Police arrive, whole neighborhood awake.
>Stay there til sunrise.
>Local news reports it.
>Go back a few days later.
>Mousetrap is blackened but still there.
>Never got caught, never got punished.

I want to do it again.

>be me
>be 14-15 or something
>playing paintball with bros
>bro #1 mentions between rounds that his marker isn't working, we can't figure it out because lol14 nobody knows anything
>he decides he still wants to play, whips out a wrist rocket slingshot, demonstrates that it's fairly accurate and hurling paint at comparable velocity despite it's hilariously slow rate of fire
>ask if he's sure, because we all know he's going to get lit the fuck up by whoever finds him since we're all running various semi auto markers with double triggers that are basically full auto with proper fingering
>he's sure
bloodinthewater.jpeg

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>>29741837
One time my cousin and I shot some quails with a pellet gun, we then cooked them up and ate them.

Turns out they belonged to the neighbors.

>>29746617
>being a literal chechen
On a serious note, that sucks. I'm sorry you had to go through that all, especially as a kid. I normally despise the Chechens but you seem like a Soviet that didn't want to take part in any of it. On a side note, do you have any good stories from when you were alone innaCaucasus or just good survival tips?

At our cabin we had a dirt/sand hill that I'd stack army men on and I would launch bottle rockets or just plant individual firecrackers in the dirt.

I'd also take my bb gun and blast frogs and birds. But then I learned better and stopped shooting frogs, seriously, fuck barn swallows.

I would take my shitty Cobra BB gun and dump 6 BBs down the barrel and pump it twice.
It wouldn't dent the metal paneling inside our pole barn but it'd hit the barn swallow with enough force to knock it the fuck out, then it could be finished up with another BB or a whack with a shovel.

I did waste quite a few squirrels too.
One I felt bad for, I hit low on the gravel road and a ricochet caught it in the stomach, it screamed for a bit until I shot it in the face.

Another time I shot a snapping turtle 9 times with my Walther P1 and it didn't die.
I then placed the fucker in the burning pit and torched it. On the next day it was still wriggling about.


Is almost dying because of being a moron /k/ related?
I think so.

One day my sister and I thought it would be funny to play hide and seek from our mother, and knowing all the hiding places in the house would easily be found, we decided to hide outside.
We looked around and ultimately we hopped into the trunk of our mom's car.
This was back when the trunks didn't have the glow in the dark emergency release, or an emergency release at all.
We stayed in there for a little bit but eventually we started to feel a bit warm.
It was summer after all, and almost noon.
We tried to find a way out, couldn't find one, then began to just bang on the trunk and yell for help.
Luckily our mom didn't go to take a nap and went to look for us.

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>freshmen year in highschool
>be 14 or 15
>virgin, shot guns though and kissed a girl
>go to 'end of the year' party, at friends house.. parents watching over and shit
>i'm not a cool kid, but i was the only kid who knew how to get pot
>later that night, its me and my best bud Lane we're watching whatever movies we could find
>it's 11am and it's late out, lane at the time was a topguy, good looking, football and had a girlfriend
>lane is now a welfare junkie and lost his wife/kids in a car accident, haven't seen him since btw.
>back to story, it's just me and him his parents are out at the casino
>his dad shoots guns, i shoot guns.. Lane has never shot a gun
>I ask Lane about his dad's guns and where he keeps them, shows me it's a small .22 rifle and a 1911
>at this point we're in the backyard and I have the .22rifle with an entire box of rounds
>I was gonna pop Lane's cherry. We put on ears, I explain to him what my dad told me.. the basics
>I setup some targets, lane misses the first target but hits the wood so I'm ending over to the wood and the mother fucker shoots while I'm fixing the target
>I didn't get shot, but the motherfucker was 1 foot away from hitting me, if he missed the first shot like he did before I would have been dead
>oh, Lane still thinks it's fucking funny too

>>29748077
>sneeki breeki down a small gulch with massive amounts of plant concealment, but basically no cover since it's all scrub
>hunker down, gather small stones
>go fishing, throw stones at a tempo that approximates sneaky foot steps
>wrist rocket takes the bait
>creeps out in front of, tracking the foot steps he thinks he's hearing
>he's like 12 feet away, back turned, oblivious
>feel like giving him a sporting chance, so I stand up and say hey
>he sees me, we lock eyes
>don't do it motherfucker
>motherfucker reaches for that wrist rocket
unloaded on him at near point blank lol, hit him like 11 times in one or two seconds. He decided to rotate rounds and use someone else's gun after that