Supposing you wake up one day and discover you are completely bulletproof/stab proof or otherwise invulnerable to any would be assailant.
What do you do?
>>29546778
kill everybody
shit my pants.
is this /b/?
Live life without telling anyone, probably become a fighting sport champion
Steal a jetpack
I would remove kebab, and end the refugee crisis.
>>29546778
Please tell us how one would wake up and suddenly discover they are bullet proof.
>>29546784
this is the only real answer. you obvs take over the world
I'd go make fun of niggers (irl not on the internet)
>>29546778
Rape
I'd do all my own stunts
>>29546778
start a libertarian revolution of course!
>>29546866
>>29546778
Destroy NKorea and ISIS with my bare hands
>>29546861
>He doesn't put a revolver under his pillow. Loaded with a single bullet. Pulling the trigger every morning
normie pls go
>>29546925
She's probably looking at all the mismatched boots
I'd probably live my life without ever finding out.
I don't get stabbed/shot very often.
>>29546861
You don't shoot yourself every morning to build up an immunity to bullets? Clearly all of that work would have paid off if one morning it ricochets off of you and destroys your anime figurines.
Become a merc
Become a personal bodyguard
Become a self defense instructor with the use of live ammo/knives
Become a live target to train cops how to shoot people
Become the bane of the atf by dressing up as a dog and taking illegal short barrel suppressed machine guns to the local range
Become the king of Russian roulette
>>29546778
Keep quiet about it and live a comfortable life in obscurity, if you came at as having super powers everyone out there will be trying to work out how to take you down and dissect you.
Kill everyone and live the rest of my life in peace.
>>29546778
I would probably go into pro wrestling
Being the guy who can get bodyslammed off a two story building would be a pretty neat gimmick
>>29546778
Save my country.
>>29546778
Superman isn't just invulnerable. He's super strong and fast to boot. Just being invulnerable would be nice, I suppose. I'd probably use it to fuck with people/make money in the media. I could go skydiving with a group of people, refuse to pull the cord and be smoking a cigarette happily when they land in a panic. Or be a spokesman for whatever company makes tough shit. Casio, or whatever.
But if I had Superman-level strength and speed, too? Ah, naw nigga. I'm going to have real fun. Probably, I'd start by raping every ISIS leader I could find. All of them, all on camera. If I had super speed, I would give Kim Jong Un an atomic wedgie and a swirlie every morning at precisely 6:12. No matter where he hid or how many troops he hid behind, he'd get his wedgie and swirlie at exactly the same time. He hides in a bunker, I dig the bunker up. He gets in a plane, I pull it out of the sky. He goes to the UN in protest, I do that shit right there in front of the General Counsel. Every morning. Every day. Until he dies and I find another Kim to torment. Same with ISIS. I'd just keep butt fucking them until they quit being dicks to people.
And I wouldn't say a word. Not to them, to the press or anybody. I would act as a global deterrent better than nukes. World leaders can avoid being vaporized in a nuclear war. They can't avoid being sodomized or hazed by a superbeing that can just walk through all their defenses.
>>29547180
This.
>>29546849
I would also remove kebab and end the refugee crisis.
>>29547180
Oh, I would also shit on the president's desk every day. I would refuse to shit anywhere else. Every time I shit, it's on the Oval Office desktop like clockwork. I wouldn't hurt a single person and wouldn't offer an explanation. Every day, some weird, fat guy wearing only an ushuanka and an iced out Casio f91w would walk right in through the front door and all the Secret Service guys, climb up on top of the president's desk, open a copy of Scientific American and drop a peanut-speckled grundy right on the blotter without speaking a word or acknowledging anyone's presence. I'd also rifle through the liquor storage and walk off with the cheapest tequila they had.
If you're a god and you really want to fuck with people, do it like all the other gods do: by being as weird and inexplicable as possible.
>>29546778
shitpost on /k/, just like any other day
>>29546811
Actually the smartest move.
>>29547434
This
>>29547146
Jebem ti sonce srpsku sestru
>>29546778
Steal a nuke and take a little trip to Mecca.
>>29546996
......unleeeeesssss
>>29546953
NOT MY COLLECTION
Does that also mean one could up their dragon dildo size without suffering an anal fissure?
>>29546866
Three of them look like they're men.
>>29546988
>>29546778
>invulnerable
>get taken down by two cops with a tear gas grenade and handcuffs
gotta be more specific with them powers
>>29546778
Spend my days raping violent criminals.
Say you were Superman, and nothing could penetrate your flesh.
If you bend over in front of a .50 cal and take a round right in the asshole at the same time you let out a fart, does the bullet still bounce off or does it go up your colon and bounce around
>>29547858
You'd probably just poop it out later.
>>29547774
>>29547488
These are the right answers
>>29546778
Remove Kebab, all of it. One kebab a time.
>>29546953
I don't see why this isn't possible. Like, can't I shoot myself with a .22 at first and just build up an immunity to bigger bullets?
>>29546849
I too would remove refugee and end kebab crisis
>>29546953
The moment my COLLECTIBLE figurines are compromised, I sob while contemplating more extreme measures to be an hero
Whatever I do, I must also rape.
>>29550108
Common knowledge.
Go to Syria and fight for Assad.
>>29546988
>self defence instructor
>OK basically guys the trick here is to be immune to the weapon, other than that I don't know what to tell you
Remove kebab by giving every one of them a free ride into orbit.
>>29546778
>>29546953
>>29549446
I came here to post this
>>29546778
Make sure I have a very low chance of getting bombed with napalm or thermobaric weapons.
>>29546778
Revive the art of dueling pistols
>>29546778
Are we talking Handcock style where it just wont penetrate? Or Impossible luck where the gun will allways jam, the bullet will miss, and the knife wielder will slip?
Because there are other ways to deal with people with invunerability... They could bury you, encase you in cement, light you on fucking fire, send you ot the botom of the ocean, or literally just tackle and arest you and lock you up forever...
and the moment you start demonstrating these powers of your expect people to take notice. Odds are you will be abducted by your government and experimented on...
but hell if i where fucking Superman powers i would declare myself a god and shape everything i could to my ideals until they found some way to kill me~
>>29546778
Literally become punisher.
>>29547180
>>29547401
>rape isis
>never ending weggies
>shit on the pres' desk
>steal his cheapest tequila
lol'd
Like previous anon said, I would start with fighting sports. I'm not into it, it just seems like the best way to use the power to make a bunch of legit money fast. Once I had a nice stack of cash I would start removing kebab.
i'm a simple man
- all nigs/blacks get a free ride home to Africa so they can be Kangs n Sheeit, including those in jail/prison
- all the gook races go home too
- same with mudslimes
- acquire enough money to fund my gun and car interest and live comfortably in an average size house on multi acres
Murica is great again, i'm happy, no one got hurt
>>29546778
itt: proof /k/ is worse than /pol/
>>29546778
Anything I want
>>29546778
Probably join the military and, after some tests to confirm your invulnerability, become some kind of one man strike force
>the night begins with you fully equipped with bathrobe and NODs
>infil by jumping off the ramp of a Chinook and just sort of plummeting onto the target building from 2000 feet
>breach by holding a charge against the door with your bare hand
>beat the shit out of some taliban commander while his bodyguards shower you with bullets
>call an artillery strike on yourself if things get too hot
>amble your way to exfil HLZ a few miles away, setting off random land mines and IEDs in the process
>exfil, now completely naked because all your clothes have been blown off at some point throughout the mission
Just another day on the job
>>29550630
>be godmode
>still subject yourself to the whim of politicians and the military bureaucracy
Absolutely pathetic
>>29546866
>winged hussies
>>29550630
>no infil by just falling straight through the roof into the building
7/10
>>29546996
Not only that but they will envy you and hate you and fear you because you are different.
Humanity is a steaming pile of shit and you saw right through the lie.
10/10
(from someone living in comfortable obscurity with different "powers")
>>29546929
Go away linda.
>>29550669
>(from someone living in comfortable obscurity with different "powers")
double fisting your own asshole isn't a power bro
>>29550630
You think the US government is going to overlook a nigh invincible person in their military and not secretly take you away to experiment on you?
Pretty much what >>29546996
>>29550659
Said...
>>29546866
>>29546784
>>29546778
>>29546929
Here's the problem. You do not have super strength. You still sleep. You still eat. Your enemies can lock you in a cell and starve you to death. You can't stop all of them, best case scenario is you go incognito.
Get in bar fights for fun, run from the cops on motorcycle, ride off cliff, walk back up to steal cop car, rob bank, buy new bike and rinse/repeat.
>>29547858
Your super-sphincter catches the round preventing it from giving you a jolly roger...
Unless you're into that sorta thing.
End up as this guy
>>29550696
Well, anon saved my life for no other reason than he felt like it.
>>29550866
Shitty as that movie was, Super-Hobo is probably where I'd end up if I was indestructible.
>>29550731
>>29551291
How the fuck is he alive?
>join military
>they figure out I'm invincible
>they make me run around Afghanistan, Iraq, and Syria to pop IEDs
>get invited to TV shows
>make millions of dollars
>buy a ps4
>play FFXV
just being invulnerable would make you nearly unstoppable.
your enemies would have to waste a huge amount of blood and or treasure into immobilizing you.
someone like ISIS would have to keep throwing soliders at you until you ran out of bullets and they dog pile you. they could also blow up something and hope to trap you in rubble.
>>29546778
Check out the local biker bars I'm too pussy to step in to
>>29551353
IED is in the rubble at the roadside
he probably died later
>>29547180
those guys are assholes chuck! your the dick and there are pussies out there who wants everyone to get along
>>29546778
Well first I gotta get my morning jerk out of the way.
Then I'll probably eat some fucking Golden Grahams, because those motherfuckers are the shit.
After that I'll drink some coffee and go to work.
After work I hit the gym so I can get a good lift in while I ogle at the bitches in yoga pants.
Go home. Take a shower while jerking off in the shower.
Make dinner
Eat dinner.
Watch something on the ole TV while drinking a beer or 5.
Go to sleep.
>>29551395
You forgot:
>write shit book
>get told off by James George "Jesse Ventura" Janos
>>29546778
Become Punisher.
>Go take a plane to the middle east
>Take pic related with me
>Get to territory controlled by ISIS
>Fuck shit up while wearing nothing but a pair of underpants on my head and bashing people's skulls in with a 3 foot long dildo
>Become the bane of terrorists
>Everybody who is in ISIS runs away as soon as they see me
>Become known as the autist who single handedly destroyed ISIS with a 3 footlong dildo
>>29552205
>get captured by ISIS, cause they can just dog pile you
>get thrown in a cage
>get burned alive cause LOL not immune to fire
>>29552561
>OP literally says otherwise invulnerable
Newfag confirmed, can't fucking read
>>29552561
Nah the CIA would throw him out of a plane.
>>29552627
>Saying that because "Bane of terrorists"
You clever bastard
>>29552665
Grats on encountering your first banepost
>>29551353
I can't find a webm I had saved about a guy the US stopped at a checkpoint so I'll just describe it.
Guy is surrounded by US soldiers telling him to surrender, he pulls out a grenade, gets shot after he pulls the pin but before he can throw it at anybody. The guy falls on the grenade which blows up. A few seconds later he trys to get up (after taking a dozen 5.56mm and a motherfucking grenade center mass). You can see the US soldiers audibly WTF as they try and approach and secure him.
>>29546778
Hit the snooze button on my alarm and roll back into bed.
>>29552994
Isn't my first actually, although it is one of the first good ones i have seen
>>29546778
Find the biggest nigger neighborhood and work my way around it by murdering everyone.
>>29547180
You'll be VXed in a week.
Nothing. I would continue living my life as I'm living it now.
steal all the nuggets at a /k/ meetup while yelling 'lol9mm' when day/k/are opens fire
>>29546778
>Using the childish power fantasy character instead of the better example, Luke Cage: Hero for Hire
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rCUfvemx3D0
>>29546784
First answer, best answer.
Rekt ISIS
Rekt Kim Jong Un
Then work a job at a gun store in a small city in the US. That way I get to be around guns all day and never have any issues with assailants because I am the fucking ubermensch.
>>29546778
Single-handedly stop ISIS.
>>29546778
Become a soldier. Would be nice not having to lug around a plate carrier
Go to korean dmz. Fling a rock. Start WW3
>>29550457
You were correct
