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Scotland the Brave
2016-04-07 20:06:57 Post No. 29525998
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Scotland the Brave
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2016-04-07 20:06:57
Post No. 29525998
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>Be me
>No gunz faggot
>still must defend home and piss bottle collection
>Can't get a gun because of past incidents so I decide on a scottish broadsword cuz muh heritage.
>Spend $130 on a full tang claymore
>I know its shit but I don't care, only has to work once
>make shield with scottish flag painted on it out of 3/4 inch plywood.
>Start watching sword handling videos online and practice on an old mattress we had in storage.
>Over time turn into a decent swordsman
>I am proud of my autism.
>Months later I hear footsteps in my apartment
>mytimeisnow.jpg
>Don my shield, kilt with my clans print, blue war paint and my sword
>Say a quick prayer to Mel Gibson and prepare to remove the english oppressors.
>glass of scotch for courage
>Put scottish national anthem on full blast over my guitar amp.
>Rush from my room screaming whatever line I rememer from Braveheart.
>See the dindu searching for the right ebonics to yell at the 6 foot 3 210 pound naked man yelling at him in a Scottish accent about Independence.
>He does what dindus do best when outmatched and runs for the door, he makes it out. Screaming "WHAT THE FUCK NIGGA!"
>I run out into the hallway let loose a final war cry and say "Nevah come back ya sillah tit wank!"
>turn around to see my neighbor staring at me mouth wide open
>Probably amazed with the display he just witnessed.
>"Feck off m8" and return to my apartment.
>TFW no one would make eye contact w me for a few weeks after that.
>MFW no one has tried to break in since.
>Say another prayer to Mel Gibson
>Go to sleep and dream of Independence