Media Statement
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You are currently reading a thread in /k/ - Weapons
You shoot a dindu in self defense. What do you say to the media after all's said and done?
I say nothing.
I dindu nuffin!
>>29349409
/thread
>>29349409
This.
LAWYER
A
W
Y
E
R
>>29349401
Little nigger deserved it and let that be a message to the rest of em
>To the Police
My life was in immediate danger. I don't wish to make any statement. I would like to speak to my/an attorney.
Repeat word for word every time the police try to ask you for anything past your ID and where your weapon is.
>To the media
Are you kidding?
C'est la vie
>>29349401
What's going on in this gif
I feared for my life
>>29349591
someone who doesn't have a +1 base attack bonus vs someone with shot on the run.
>>29349591
dude shoots another dude
>>29349591
A dindu is running away after a commission of a crime. Guy goes to draw, dindu sees he's drawing and shoots. Guy loses draw.
>>29349469
Yea but really, I genuinely wanna know, you really don't say anything about the incident? Not even acknowledging that you used your weapon in self defense on the attacker? What if they ask how it took place?
Im muslim. This was an act of peace.
>>29349591
A lessonin not drawing down on someone already holding agun
>>29349873
To me it looked like the assailant was also drawing from appendix when he saw the the other guy draw, only he drew and fired quicker, being used to gun battles in the hood. Who was that fbi guy that wrote a book on gun fights and said blacks are more or less "good" at firefights?
>>29349401
>Tch, nothing personnel kid.
My local news stations don't report on such things. Only when people are murdered with guns do they report it, never self defence
>>29349656
>you really don't say anything about the incident?
YES
ffs
shyut the FUCK up
the only thing more important that trigger discipline is tongue discipline. Direct all questions to your legal counsel, don't answer ANY questions without your lawyer present, if you don't have a lawyer, do like anon said in >>29349469
>>29349401
I'd blame Loyd Jowers
>I may not look so hot, but you should see the other guy.
All fucking niggers must fucking hang.
>>29349401
"I shot a dindu in self-defense"
>>29349953
>Who was that fbi guy that wrote a book on gun fights and said blacks are more or less "good" at firefights?
A liar?
Talk to me after I win the case.
>>29349401
"It's sad man, I feel for his mother. But he put himself there and he put me there and he made sure I had no choices or options but to take his future. Nothing was learned."
>>29349401
Nothing. I leave the area, never speak of it to anyone, and let it go down as gang-related.
>>29349451
Every single muslim killed by american bombs and bullets had it coming.
>>29349401
>I have no regrets about defending the lives of my children. If I had to do it 10 million times over, I would.
>>29349656
>what if they asked
Still nothing
Bernie 2016
And the light shineth in darkness and the darkness comprehended it not.
>>29349401
Plead the Fifth.
>>29349401
This was a triumph.
I'm making a note here:
HUGE SUCCESS.
It's hard to overstate my satisfaction.
Aperture Science.
We do what we must because we can.
For the good of all of us
Except the ones who are dead.
But there's no sense crying over every mistake.
You just keep on trying till you run out of cake.
And the science gets done and you make a neat gun.
For the people who are still alive.
I'm not even angry.
I'm being so sincere right now.
Even though you broke my heart and killed me.
And tore me to pieces.
And threw every piece into a fire.
As they burned it hurt because
I was so happy for you!
Now these points of data make a beautiful line.
And we're out of beta, we're releasing on time.
So I'm GLaD I got burned.
Think of all the things we learned
For the people who are still alive.
Go ahead and leave me.
I think I prefer to stay inside.
Maybe you'll find someone else to help you.
Maybe Black Mesa...
THAT WAS A JOKE. Haha. FAT CHANCE.
Anyway, this cake is great.
It's so delicious and moist.
Look at me still talking when there's science to do.
When I look out there it makes me GLaD I'm not you.
I've experiments to run there is research to be done
On the people who are still alive
And believe me I am still alive.
I'm doing science and I'm still alive.
I feel FANTASTIC and I'm still alive.
While you're dying I'll be still alive.
And when you're dead I will be still alive.
Still alive
Still alive
>>29349401
>gas the kikes race war now
There is no jury in my county that wouldn't convict me, may as well have one last bit of fun.
Vae Victis
Colour myself black and claim to be nigger?
Media ignores black on black crime
Get the fuck off my lawn before I shoot you too.
>>29349401
I am happy to be alive, and I am sorry for anyone who lost a relative in this unfortunate incident. I am very tired. I have nothing more to say.
>>29350966
This is better than the Chewbacca Defense
>>29349401
>What do you say to the media after all's said and done?
HAS JUST BEEN REVOKED!
>>29349401
>speaking to the media
Probably move to a small town in Idaho and live out my days never showing my face in a major population center again
>>29349640
I see what you did there.
>>29350441
enjoy your murder charge
>>29350844
Want, want badly
>>29351030
kek
Deus vult.
>>29349401
Don't say anything, just lay low since the media will make a pariah out of you.
>>29349401
tell them i live at OP's address and watch OP get surrounded by a riot of dindus
>>29349401
"He was a good boy. WAS."
>>29352526
Story?
>>29349401
>To police.
I would like to talk to a lawyer before making any statements, and I would like to contact my family to tell them I am okay.
>To press (After talking to lawyer)
They came to harm me, I came ready to survive.
I killed mothers with their babies. I've killed great philosophers, proud young warriors, and revolutionaries. I've killed the evil, the good, the intelligent, the weak, and the beautiful. I have done this in the service of His Divine Shadow and his predecessors, and I have never once shown any mercy. Oh, and I shot that guy right there for tryin' to steal my collection of Princess Diana commemorative plates from the Franklin Mint.
>>29353188
an autistic dindoo that worked for wdbj news that got butthurt alot over racist/gay comments "supposedly" made towards him. he filed x amount of suits against the news station early on and later got tenure but then was fired due to volatile behavior. he tried filing a EEOC over the firing being over him being black but it fell through, and later at his apartment he killed his cats and threw their shit at neighboring apartments who he often had disputes with.
2 years pass and in his remarks on twitter/FB decided to single out an intern he worked with because of racist jokes she made about a friend and a complaint she gave to the company about him being violent. so that when he shot her while recording and uploaded it to the web and later an hero'ed.
>TLDR Nigger gets butthurt at job about racist/gay remarks gets fired and decides to remove reporter.
http://heavy.com/news/2015/08/vester-lee-flanagan-bryce-williams-pov-shooting-murder-video-twitter-tweet-youtube-video/
>>29350193
>>29349469
This is a smart man. Do as the smart man says, and everything'll be daijoubu desu yoooo.
>>29350966
>cop's face when I belt this out a cappella from practicing in my car for 10 years
>>29353188
>9mm no stpan powa
>>29349401
AM I BEING DETAINED???
>>29349401
"I'm very sad about what occurred but I did what was in the best interests of my family and I."
Anything else is just an autistic answer or you literally don't have any family to speak of. Or just say what your attorney tells you to say, as that usually works.
>>29349656
"I thought he was trying/going to kill me, I want to speak to my lawyer"
>hushed rumors go throughout the room, I walk to the podium dressed like macho man
"Yeah this one right here goes out to all the baby's mamas, mamas...
I'm sorry Ms. Jackson (oh)
I am for real
Never meant to make your daughter cry
I apologize a trillion times
I'm sorry Ms. Jackson (oh)
I am for real
No further questions
>drop the mike, my lawyer rushes to pick it up to explain my rash behavior
>too late, I'm Audi 5000
"no comment"
I'd belt out "ULTRA KILL" in my best counter strike announcer voice.
If I got to shoot two dindus I'd replace it with "MULTI KILL"
>>29354562
>counter strike announcer voice
nigga that was from unreal tournament. having them in cs was a server mod.
>i bet you never even played cs_iceworld
>yes i'm old fuck you
>>29349401
Spout /pol/ memes, this will surely end well. No lawyer is capable of using the internet.
>>29354518
Ha!
>>29349401
I'd just tip my fedora, smile in the camera, and bob slowly as this plays in the background.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=41qC3w3UUkU
>>29350844
That dude seriously needs to get the right finish 1911 if he wants to mock up a light shining in the darkness
ALSO STORMIN MORMON CANT GRIND THE GRAHAM
>>29355923
Mormonfag here, can confirm, CANT GRIND THE GRAHAM.
Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.
>>29355934
Psalm's 137:9
Old Testament God was best God.
>>29355934
If you went with Daniel's idea, I don't know what to tell you.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HXlrqM1N9No
"My cock has never been so hard"
This could have all been averted if he had simply followed my verbal commands after I drew my weapon.
He'd still be alive if he had simply handed over his wallet like I asked.
>>29355877
Whoa there CZ guy, who is that. Rolling for no Penis pls
>>29357211
there is peen friend, i'm sorry
I pull some reverse psychological.
>I DINDU NUFFIN!
>I WUZ A GOOD BOY!
>I WUZ GOIN TO COLLEGE, GETTIN MUH LIFE ON TRACK.
>HANGED OUT WITH THE WRONG CROWD!
>NEED MO MONEY FOR DEM PROGRAMS.
>All the while have a large crowd of well to do white folks going MMHMM real loudly, bobbing their heads and saying DAS RITE.
>>29352771
I don't, I play 5E.
>He didn't fly so good
>>29349401
"Remember to use the hastag blacklivesmatter"
>>29358398
But why would you shoot him before throwing him out of a plane?
>>29349401
Please address all questions to my lawyer Ira Goldstien
>>29354628
not only that but ultra kill is after multi kill...
I'd say that I feared for my life and did what I felt was necessary. I wish it hadn't come to that, but I was left with no choice since my own life was being actively threatened.
>>29357426
um...sir, im interested.
>>29349401
>You shoot a dindu in self defense. What do you say to the media after all's said and done?
FEEL THE BERN!
>>29349401
Did X-ray screening at jail. On Tuesday, let's say, a dude struck a pedestrian and fled the scene, afraid... Wed. the guy turns himself in. Thurs., he bonds out and walks out of jail to be met by at least one dozen reporters. I watched him on TV keep his cool and just walk silently 2-3 blocks on the sidewalk while being peppered with questions. His attorney prepped him right: "Don't say one word."
>>29349401
Why the hell would you talk to the media?
"Sometimes dead's better"
>say nothing
that makes you look guilty too.
You want to say nothing with out actually saying nothing. Just say in a flat somewhat weak voice "I think im in shock and dont want to say anything right now" while looking at wherever it is you are walking as you pass through the media.
This establishes you are shaken from the incident, which is better than coming off as some 'calculating potential murderer following exact legal advice to get out of murdering babies'
>>29349401
>I was working part time in a five and dime
>My boss was Mr. McGee
>He told me several times that he didn't like my kind
>'Cause I was a bit too leisurely
>Seems that I was busy doing something close too nothing
>But different than the day before
>That's when I saw her, ooh, I saw her
>She walked in through the out door, out door
>She wore a raspberry beret
>The kind you find in a second hand store
>Raspberry beret
>And if it was warm she wouldn't wear much more
>Raspberry beret
>I think I love her
>Built like she was, she had the nerve to ask me
>If I planned to do her any harm
>So, look here, I put her on the back of my bike
>And-a we went riding down by old man Johnson's farm
>I said now, overcast days never turned me on
>But something about the clouds and her mixed
>She wasn't to bright, but I could tell when she kissed me
>She knew how to get her kicks
>She wore a raspberry beret
>The kind you find in a second hand store
>Raspberry beret
>And if it was warm she wouldn't wear much more
>Raspberry beret
>I think I love her
>The rain sounds so cool when it hits the barn roof
>And the horses wonder who you are
>Thunder drowns out what the lightning sees
>You feel like a movie star
>Listen, they say the first time ain't the greatest
>But I tell ya, if I had the chance to do it all again
>I wouldn't change a stroke 'cause baby I'm the most
>With a girl as fine as she was then
>Raspberry beret
>The kind you find in a second hand store
>Raspberry beret
>If it was warm she wouldn't wear much more
>Raspberry beret
>I think I, think I, I think I love her
>Raspberry beret
>The kind you find in a second hand store
>Raspberry beret
>If it was warm she wouldn't wear much more
>Raspberry beret
>I think I love
It's the only song I can sing straight through that isn't a hymn or a nursery rhyme.
>>29355947
>I don't enjoy killing, but when done righteously, it's just a chore, like any other. Practiced hands make for short work. And the good Lord knows there's much to be done here.
Jesus, I forgot how stone cold Graham was. Between him and Randall Clark, Honest Hearts had the best characters in the whole game. Ulysses can eat a dick.
