Alright faggots.
You hear me kick in your door. You have 5 seconds before I have my way with you, your wife, and your dog.
Assume for this exercise that you DON'T want me to have sexual relations in your home.
Can you stop me in time?
>>28849268
Yes because I am less than 2ft away right now from a loaded Colt Commando.
>>28849268
Are you built like the guy in the picture?
Hell yeah, I wear my gun in a Pistolwear at all times
>>28849268
Yes, I'm always an arms length away from my firearm, unless im in the restroom, but my restroom is right next to my room so (studio) yeah i think ill be okay
>>28849317
No I am black.
>>28849268
Why would I be unable to shoot you six seconds after you enter my house?
In my living room with my 2 housemates, doberman and shotgat in arms reach. Have fun.
>fat wife leans slightly right of her couch spot, blocks door
>Mossberg 500 less than 20 feet away
I have a good chance.
>>28849352
reasons
>>28849383
>calling your own wife fat
You are a shitty husband. I hope you feel bad shithead.
>>28849332
How are you built?
>>28849397
Woah, whiteknighting to a whole new level.
>>28849397
I think you're a bad spouse if you let yourself go once you've trapped some poor bastard with half his things and probably their dog.
>>28849268
jokes on you, I already had my wa with my dog, wife and myself in that order. their bodies are buried in my backyard and by the time you get their the police will be on their way to arrest you for the crime while im halfway across the state
>>28849430
This.
>>28849397
Why the fuck do you care? Honestly, she likes me being hard on her so she loses weight. If I coddle her, she gains.
>>28849417
>>28849430
Its not "whiteknighting" dumbass. If my spouse called me fat or had such harsh feelings towards me that they secretly call me fat behind my back they wouldnt be married much longer.
>inb4 lonely old men get angry at this
>>28849268
I train, so I could probably take you unarmed if it came to that. I also have my trusty Sako 3m or so away with mag attached, I'll just have to grab it and rack a round in. My pistol is also somewhere within a hand's reach because I spend a lot of time dry firing while shitposting on chans, watching peruvian performance or removing ayys
Let's see:
Irritable Malamute.
Axe
Fire poker
Angry wife
Gun is maybe 6-7 seconds away
I think the dog would slow you down, then me with an axe, then my wife with the gun. I think you stand a 12% chance of killing us with a knife. Plus you're black, so I'm going to be angry as fuck.
>>28849471
Back to fucking reddit. If you're offended by being called fat you need to lose weight.
>>28849471
If your spouse calls you fat, then you probably should lose weight, lardass.
>>28849397
i have a fat wife too
but i pound her fat ass every night
fuck yeah fat chicks
also youre a homo
>>28849268
>Can you stop me in time?
Yes.
>>28849268
>Assume for this exercise that you DON'T want me to have sexual relations in your home
Anon that is some pretty big assumptions.
>>28849505
Mmmm.... malamute....
Awesome dogs.
>>28849511
Yeah but theres a difference between saying "hey your fat you should do something about it" vs posting about your "fat wife" on the internet.
Just saying....
>>28849516
>youre a homo
Not everyone on the internet is a man shithead.
>>28849584
Jokes on you. No women on the interbutts
>>28849584
His wife isn't going to fuck you for white knighting. Total virgin detected.
>>28849634
>His wife isn't going to fuck you for white knighting. Total virgin detected.
Not a man, dumbass. Nice argument btw.
>>28849602
I wonder why?
12g 870 by my computer so yh ur fucked
>>28849584
>posting about your fat wife on the internet
>on an anonymous (supposedly, fucking tripcunts) tanzanian throat singing club
>>28849324
>Not storing a gun in the upper deck of your shitter
It's like you want to be killed while dropping a deuce.
>>28849656
>>28849268
I have a glock brand glock loaded with thirteen a dem dere 230gr holla tips less than a foot from my keyboard. youd git lit up like a mofuckin Christmas tree nigga.
>>28849471
Looks like someone triggered the fatty
>>28849718
like this?
>>28849268
>Live alone
>Have AK with loaded mag in arms reach
>1911 on desk next to mouse
Pretty sure I'll do alright.
>>28849268
I pull out my blade and we see if you've got the cojones to get into a knife fight. I do.
>>28849780
>I was shot through the heart with an armor piercing incendiary .50 bmg round
dis nigga
>>28849575
What a goofy ass dog. Why are those dogs always so fucking goofy?
>>28850055
>Japanese
>>28849268
Brah, ive got a Philippine 1911 and two spare mags full of critical duty +p .45acp, and a random pair of handcuffs so after i blow your guts out your ass, i can flip you, tell you tobstop resisting, and that the police are on their way.
Ill be alright.
>>28849268
only thing in reach is an east german pattern 1 AK bayonet, that's been sharpened a little bit.
oh boy, its half naked knife fight time
>>28849268
Considering that knives aren't dangerous anymore, I just laugh at you.
>>28849516
this reads like a msg on xbox live after someone got their shit pushed in 1v1 360 quickscopes
>>28849674
>remington
are you going to throw it?
>Loaded negaunt revolver
>Loaded sks with 30 rd mag one in da chambuh
>Familly sleepin' in their car
out in the Southwest
>no dog
>no job
>no home
>no peace
>no rest
>highway is alive tonight
>Nobody's foolin' nobody as to where it goes
>sitting down here in campfire light
>Searchin' for Ghost of Tom Joad
>>28849324
>unless im in the restroom
do you not have your ccw with you when you're taking a shit?
>>28850276
jokes on you i put almost $800 in making it perfectly functional
>>28849551
Hey, you got the pistol grip for it.
>>28849656
His wife probably still won't fuck you.
probably.
>>28850376
That album is my favorite album of all time and i don't really even care for Bruce Springsteen.
>>28850573
It posted cause i like rage against the machines version better
>>28849268
we sum smokers, we dont use holsters, they jus on us
>>28849268
What makes you think I'm not almost within arms reach of a gun at all times in my place?
Bedside gun? Check.
>>28851794
Working at my computer desk? Guess where my CC piece sits, faggot.
>>28851813
In my spare room working on a project? There's a gun located there, too.
>>28849268
I lack a wife or a dog.
Breaking into my house would be a deeply unpleasant experience for you.
>>28849268
probably
>>28851824
Playing the vidyas? 20+1 of .32 ACP, right there.
>>28851848
I even have a dedicated "pooping SD" gun. Enjoy your EEEEEEEEEEEEE.
Dubs says yes. There's a J frame in my pants
>>28851848
Slavshit ahoy!
>>28851831
BOOTY
>>28849268
You'd get walker dragoon 44 slugs to the chest as fast as I can pull the trigger.
>>28851890
>as fast as I can pull the trigger.
>single action
Wouldn't need to do anything other than replace the doorway. C4 in the ceiling with a tripwire at height with your ankles. Have a nice day. Oh and uh, castle doctrine I guess.
>>28851884
It's my favorite toy.
>>28851941
Shid, forgod image :DDDDD
>>28849268
Probably not the best idea.
>>28852016
>designed to wound
So you'll hurt OP a bit, maybe force him to check into a hospital. You didn't think this through, did you?
>>28852050
I only wanted to hurt OP so I could chain him/her/it up in my basement. And then commence with the rape.
>>28849324
>not Godfathering a gun to your toilet
It's like you want to get killed taking a shit
>>28849505
You're right anon. Having his way with your dog would slow him down. A noble sacrifice on your dog's part.
>>28849780
>.50 BMG
Much like his torso should be, my sides are gone
>>28849268
I hope you like a tomahawk to the face anon, because that's my closest weapon at the moment.
Not that you would ever kick down a 250lb solid oak door with quarter inch thick hand-forged hinges, I built it to keep bears out.
>>28852076
Call the gimp?
>>28852348
Exactly. Who is going to know where to look for someone who went missing on a B & E?
>>28850022
wetback detected
yes because I can call the police in 3 seconds.
>>28849332
>No I am black.
Simple, I hold up a job application and you run away in terror.
>>28849268
>kick in door
>greeted by /fit/ 6 foot 8 naked giant with a raging hard-on and mossman 500
You've got about 5 seconds before I have my way with you, your wife, and your dog. Assume for this exercise you don't want to be reverse raped. Can you stop me in time?
>protip: you can't
>>28849268
I'm not the poorfag, so my doors cannot be kicked in 5 seconds
Why people spend 3k on Gucci AR, but don't want to spend 500 for reinforced doors?
>>28854216
>$500
thats a pretty shit door
vault tier doors usually costs a grand and above
>>28854233
Like with your autism, there is a spectrum of doors that could be kicked in 3 second and 5k Jewish gold cave vault doors you use.
>>28850211
Fucking what?
>>28849268
>dress up in g strings
>wear pig mask
>cover self in pig blood
>grab dilbo
>chase him around the house until he gets a heart attack
>>28849268
>at a desk with a 92fs in it right now
Nice try anon.
I think so
>>28849268
You never had a chance
>>28849268
Wife non existent. The 180 lb great dane who alerted me when you were walking outside will be having his way with you while I decide which gun within a 5 foot radius will be ok to let go to evidence for a few days.
>>28849332
>black
nevermind the great dane will kill you before I have a chance to worry about a gun.
>Implying if you break in we won't have sex
>Bring out the gimp
>>28849332
You'd get shot even if uou weren't trying to kill me.
>>28849268
It takes much longer than 5 sec to kick down a locked iron gate / storm door and a deadbolted front door. You'd also make a hell of a lot of noise doing so. More than enough time to pull my Winchester from under the bed and load a few shells. You'd be a black smear on the wall before you got up the stairs.
>>28851794
>>28851813
>>28851824
This is clearly a basement.
>>28849575
>based doge
>would defend
>>28849457
Cops love these pants. They say, perps trip and fall when trying to do anything other than breathe lightly, 100% of the time.
>>28849268
...fuck, 5 seconds are too few for me.
Thanks OP, gonna take some precautions now
I would guess most accidental shootings occur because retards keep loaded weapons laying around the house. It's not that fucking hard to keep weapons accessible with ammunition close by. If you really think that you are capable of defending yourself with a gun in an emergency situation, you should be skilled at quickly loading your weapon. Leaving firearms loaded is insane unless there are literally riots occurring within blocks of your house.
>>28849268
Jokes on you dickwad. This isn't my house, but you can have what's left of the wife and the husband and dog are lying dead/dying in the basement.
>>28849268
Gun guy is dead as fuck.
>>28856765
Fucking atf
>>28850376
^i like this guy you can have my dog
How did you get across the whole house and uo the stairs directly to my bedroom in 5 seconds? Unless you had inside knowledge... Which means my wife is trying to have me killed...so I shoot her first then frame you for her murder and bestiality with the dog
>>28849780
>(same one here)
Did he find the bullet and reload it into the casing or something? People actually believe this shit?
>>28849397
hahahahahahahahaha... ooo... yeah
Me and my wife have a "deal" if either of use get more then one cat or gain 50lbs we can cheat. It's tonge in cheek but the sentiment is real. I work out weekly and have a phyiscal job so I'm doing ok. 5lbs heavier then when i got out of highschool.
>>28849268
You have 6 flight of stairs before reaching my apartment,entire building is mine,you kick down the door,touch the knob of the other,guillotine fire proof door closes behind you,vacuum pump starts to remove air from your enclosed space.
Wake up in the morning,find your dead body after opening the door,turn on muh crematory
1 more towards the 6 bilions
