By a series of unfortunate events, you are relegated to pizza delivery because it's the only job available to you. You work in and around one of the most crime-infested ghettos in your country. And you'll be carrying hot fresh food and a good amount of cash to make change on you wherever you go.
1) What gun(s) do you carry on your person at all times?
2) Do you wear a protective vest? What kind?
3) What do you keep in your car for those times a whole gang decides they REALLY want your pizza and cash that fucking bad?
4) What steps do you take to protect yourself in the event that a delivery call received is not legitimate, that you might be walking into a trap?
>>28277404
1. 2 guns, one singlestack 45 1911, one doublestack 9mm glock
2. plate carrier
3. tear gas and a gas mask
4. I shoot myself in the head with both pistols at the same time because fuck being a pizza delivery guy
>>28277476
>1. 2 guns, one singlestack 45 1911, one doublestack 9mm glock
noguns detected
I happen to be a pizza delivery driver, so this is from experience
1. Star model b
2. Yes, ar500 steel plates duct taped to my front and rear
3. Retreat into an alley and shoot 4 of the approaching melanin enriched gentlemen
4. Always knock the door with gun drawn. Do not holster gun until safely back at the pizzeria
>>28277639
Bet your job security and tips are great with a gun drawn you lying faggot
>>28277769
wow, you honestly couldnt tell he was kidding?
Fuck you are stupid.
Former pizza guy who delivered in two shitty areas for a year or so. My daily carry was:
>H&R .38
>steel toed boots
>flannel jacket
Only had to draw down once and the guy who was going to mug be bolted in a heartbeat.
I always maintained that while $20 and a pizza wasn't worth dying over to me it might be worth killing me over to a crackhead with priors and an empty stomach.
>inb4 people shitting on my choice of gun
Was the only handgun I had and couldn't afford a new one on the budget I had.
>>28277404
1. A tank
2. A tank
3. A tank
4. A tank
>>28277953
Any gun is better then no gun, anon. I won't shit on you.
>>28277404
1) glock 17, owb with a jacket on
2) No. I don't think it's that big a threat. Maybe something to stop knives
3) ar15 pistol. In the "leg area" of the passenger. Encased in a conealment box or moulded plastic of some sort
4) situational awareness, never enter the house/aparment, take stairs instead of elevator, flashlight to illuminate dark bushes/hallways/etc
>>28277404
You're shitty post gave me an idea for a shitty movie OP, now hear me out..
>really bad hood, pizza hasn't been delivered there for decades due to gang related pizza violence
>dominos, pizza hut, and papa johns all pool their resources to train the ultimate pizza delivery operator
>has to wear pepporoniflage combat shirt with a pizza pan shaped plate carrier
>molle pouches full of extra ammo as well as red peppers and mozzarella cheese.
>dual engraved long slide 1911's cerakoted in obnioxious yellow and red colors in shoulder holsters
>aptly named "extra cheese" and "no cheese"
>keeps an arsenal of firearms in his uparmored 2001 pontiac firebird
>brings back delicious pizza pie to the neighborhood that only knows depravity and crime
>maybe even throw in some side kicks like pic related
>>28278115
Setting up a Kickstarter page, brb
>>28278115
attempted murder and petty theft of a pizza?
That'll be 19.95 years
>plus tip
>>28278151
>That'll be 19.95 years
>>plus tip
>>28277404
1. All I have is my 1911.
2. I own a set of green plates. While I think that's probably overkill, its all I have. I'd rather use something to stop knives if I do wear armor.
3.some sort of SBR or shotgun. Hidden in the floor or carried inna roof rack between the front seats.
4.flashlight. And as said in an above post. Stairs vs elevator. Light for dark areas. Etc.
>>28277404
(4) Oh, uh, umm. I roll to seduce?
>>28278151
10/10
>>28277404
>By a series of unfortunate events,
I already was one and worked in a fairly urban area
>ruger .380 because poor pizza man
>didn't wear one, too expensive/heavy/bulky
>emergency cell phone, maybe an extra mag or two
>wanted to buy a second, better gun as a glove box piece but no money
>I knew the whole town, especially the bad areas.
>If it was a really bad spot id demand another driver come with me or id refuse to go
>if not then id circle the block, see if I can spot any groups or a lot of cars at one place
>id try to leave as soon as I could, fuck haggling for tips
I only ever had to draw a few times. most of the people didn't want to risk it just for a pizza and maybe 40 dollars on a good night. If the did it was usually hoodrat teens trying ti look tough or a drug addict, and all times I just held them at bay while moonwalking to my car and then speeding off. Funniest incident was a crack head that chased after my car for like 4 blocks. I was at a light and look in my rear view mirror and see the same guy from before still chasing me down. I went about 20MPH and let him keep up before flooring it
>>28277769
HAHAHAHA GET A HOLD OF THIS GUY
Need more pizza-vigilante inspired posts
>>28277404
>befriend (train) local nigs using extra pizza and chicken wings
>become a "homie"
>use my nigs for protection against other nigs
>keep my nigs strong with pizza, pasta and chicken
>lead my nigs into turf warfare against weak rival pizza-less nigs
>expand my territory
>forge friendships and make treaties with local doughnut shops
>use doughnuts to train cops to ignore crime committed by my pizza nigs
>turn cops against pizza-less nigs allied by my nigs driven insane with extra sauce buffalo chicken wings
>take control of city
>succeed from union
>rebuild Detroit
>continue to grow my pizza fueled gang
>create anarco capitalist society.
Also FNX .45 with a Colt DA .357 mag for backup, any plate carrier with AR500 plates, full size AR15 with 2 30 rounders behind seat and a Draco AK pistol and 30 round mag right next to drivers seat.
>>28277404
6 Hi-Point C9s strapped to my chest like I'm Il Duce from the Boondock Saints
THERE WAS A FIREFIGHT
>>28277404
I'm a driver for Dominos. The policy is so damn strict about "weapons". So I am not allowed to carry....I'm still gonna do so. Any one know of a good pocket pistol?
Only reason why I am with this job is for the money and cheap ass food. Usually get 50-60 in tips a night, on top of making 9.35 an hour.
>>28277404
1. glock 20
2. full type IV gear
3 some type of ak
4 talk to person who placed order on phone. if they "wantin dat pizza mayne" color of man, immediately disregard them and hang up
>>28277953
it did its job perfectly fine, good job defending against that mugger
>>28281686
>colt DA revolver
Your an idiot, colt hasn't made one of those in over a decade, and you wouldn't fucking carry a python
>>28281686
lolol
>>28281749
You're right, Smith and Wesson model 686 6 shot DA .357 mag revolver. Why the fuck did I write Colt?
>delivery driver in high school
>skinny little dork walking through the ghetto
>got robbed at gunpoint
>the pizza I just delivered was paid for with a check
>had $2 in my wallet
>mfw
Yeah, fuck that job.
>>28277404
I deliver pizza.
1) on the job, G42 innapocket. Knife innapocket as well.
2) No. Cargo pants with kneepad inserts, no other protection.
3) Nothing. A spare mag innapocket. A leadfoot while in the car.
4) I roll up to the place with a flashlight shining at houses. I will drive by slowly and meanmug anyone and anything that I see. I'm having a bad day on most days so its best not to fuck with me.
Haven't had to draw on anyone yet. The flashlight is my best friend.
One time I was delivering to a lower class apartment complex. Was rolling by slowly looking at numbers, when a group of drunk melanin enriched gentlemen yelled out "RIGHT HERE YO!", so I slowed down, and then they yelled "JUMP!" and started laughing. So I pull over around the corner and walk up shining a light. I heard someone from a different apartment saying "oh boy, here comes the bright light again". So I ask them if the pizza was for them, and they said they were jus fuckin wichoo mang.
On a side note, i delivered to a fire station once. firemen are top tier bros.
>>28281797
because you are a based pizza delivery driver who provides the best service money can buy, and defends the honor of a $12.99 large pepperoni with a $2,500 polished blue 6 inch colt python
>>28281897
do you deliver full time or part time? im thinking of trying to find a night delivery job just for extra cash, already have a full time gig during day. any tips on how to operate?
>>28277404
Okay.
1) My XDs in 9mm. With the extended 8 round mags.
2) Yes. Level 3A vest under my shirt. Will have Level 3 plates ready to toss on instead if it's a neighborhood I've had trouble in before.
3) Another pistol of some sort. I'm thinking a full size for some slight intimidation and for ease of shooting. USP maybe?
4) Only carry stuff in my left hand. Make change with left hand only. Keep eyes on the person at the door as much as I can. Otherwise maintain situational awareness.
>>28282124
Part time. Its pretty self explanatory. Get a reliable updated gps with car charger, a powerful flashlight with spare batteries, warm clothes, a gun you can conceal very well in a t-shirt like pocket carry, andkeep warm clothes and food/ drink innacar.
>>28282575
do you ever get free pizza, from like mistakes and such? like if the restaurant makes an extra, or the customer is an idiot and says they only ordered 1 when they ordered 2
Slicing the pie is the most useful skill in pizza delivery
>>28277404
If I am on a high risk (e.g. chicken or pineapple based) I do for a regular level 2 vest with trauma and anti-stab and we use interceptor insets stitched into our jackets.
We're all ex marine and we have some seal and delta drivers.
I carry a
left shin left side I carry a bench made auto that I have syringe filled with nicotine sulphate solution and clingfilm sealed. Our oath says a life for a life and it is a last ditch to ensure a kill even if I am goner.
On My right shin I carry a .44mag revolver with a custom 2.5 inch barrel.
Left inside vertical holster with a kimber 911 in 45 (of course) and on a loop hanging from my right shoulder a howda gun loaded with hollow slugs packed with magnesium.
We use standard overwatch in the VANs with two GPMG operators one front one rear and an automatic grenade launcher that can be deployed on a tripod in case we get cornered.
On a standard bacon/ham run I may just run with a silenced .22LR semi auto and a neckknife and loose the jacket and supliment with sniper overwatch.
We are working with local law enforcement and are fully deputised and do call outs to Syria and Alabama.
I sometimes get so scared on the drive out I fap off to stay calm.....that long walk to the door....never know if it is your last.
>>28282686
you're a fucking pizza delivery guy what the fuck
its not like youre delivering pizza to Tyrone and his gang and they decide to shoot you up instead of pay
the only real possible scenario is that someone decides to steal the pizza car or something but even that is probably unlikely as fukc
why would someone want to randomly order pizza but then end up shooting or kidnapping the dude instead
protective vest why the fuck you would probably be more likely to provoke some gangstas by looking like a damn cop carrying a pistol and a pistol vest
jaysus
>>28278115
Yes
>>28278115
You had me at Pontiac firebird, should be an 86 though
>>28282780
You're dumb.
Delivery guys get wasted on the reg. Watch the news. It's happened more than a couple times in Milwaukee. Not usually by the people who order the pizza.
Just remember, well ventilated pizza snatchers assume room temperature faster.
>>28282780
What is wearing a vest under your shirt?
Also as an anon noted, you could get mugged by some random tweaker. It doesn't have to be the person you are delivering to.
If you were trying to be funny take a note out of this guys book.>>28282686
>>28282780
A pizza girl got mugged for 15 dollars and the pizza outside my friends apartment last week.
>>28282591
Yeah, all canceled/ messed up/ nondeliverable orders are free for the employees to take home/eat. Sometimes the main manager wont allow it, but if hes not there, the smaller managers do not give a fuck.
>>28282804
>>28282808
I apologize if I seemed dumb, I have to admit I'm not American so I'm not exactly sure how often or how likely it would be shot as a pizza delivery guy. I'm actually from Finland.
I believe it's almost 100% unnecessary to carry any sort of firearm in a job that isn't actually dangerous or where it's more likely you'll get run over. But then again, I assume that crime is way higher in America so in that sense it could apply there.
>>28282847
Son, why are you commenting on pizza delivery then? Do they even have pizza in Finland? Do you know what pizza is?
Stop acting like your country is better than America because, guess what, IT'S NOT. Now go sit in the stupid corner with your no gun havin' ass.
>>28282847
I work late at night, and have to deliver to shady people on the daily. All types of drug addicts, dealers, shady people with empty apartments/hotel rooms with large curtained off sections inside.
Such places have all types of scum around there. They know you have food, a car, and some money.
>>28282847
Does finland have inner city areas? You guys are cucks for "refugees" too right? Got ghettos, you know where the really poor and criminally inclined people live?
That's where most of US crime comes from and where if you deliver a pizza, a gun isn't a bad idea.
>Become pizza delivery guy
>Get second job serving court papers
>Purchase your own insulated delivery bag for pizzas
>Stitch ballistic plate and concealed holster pouch into bottom
>Modify a handful of pizza boxes into surprise clipboards
>Serve pizza, having your tactical pizza warmer at the ready just in case
>Get off the clock
>Serve process papers under the guise of delivering pizza, again with tactical warmbox just in case
>>28282904
>>28282891
Here it's the kebabs that make and deliver the pizza
t. otherfinn
I used to be a pizza guy in a really shitty area. Did it for five years and loved it. Never carried on the job, nobody ever tried to mug me.
It was pretty simple really. The low-income dumbasses that work at pizza places are the same petty criminals that will try to mug you. I got to know my workmates and their friends, and made sure they knew I was the craziest fucker in the neighborhood.
I could leave my old-ass car unlocked on the street overnight and noone stole it. I could walk around the street by myself and people either didnt come near me or just said sup.
Best 5 years of my life desu.
>>28282823
does that happen often enough you can rely on a few free dinners a week? seems like a nice work bonus
>>28282847
dont you have ghettos/bad neighborhoods in your country? the kind where youre afraid to walk around in? dont tell me you dont because ive seen the news and how immigrant refugee camps are popping up in finland. the premise of OPs question was assuming you work as a delivery guy in a bad neighborhood. and obviously most peoples answers here are jokes, lighten up
>>28280080
>haggling for tips
Fuck is this a thing in the states?
>>28282875
>Son, why are you commenting on pizza delivery then?
Expressing my opinon, he didn't mention "most crime infested place in America" in the OP, it said "in your country". I expressed what my opinion of carrying anything in my country would be.
>Do they even have pizza in Finland? Do you know what pizza is?
food lmao
>Stop acting like your country is better than America because, guess what, IT'S NOT. Now go sit in the stupid corner with your no gun havin' ass.
Never claimed any was better, I just stated my opinion came from a finnish perspective and that should be taken in regard if my opinion seemed dumb. I own 4 firearms and so do a pretty high percentage of people in America. Look it up.
>>28282935
Or maybe you're autistic. All of this never really happen, it was just in your head?
>>28282670
Kek
>>28282990
no, not sure what he is talking about, i have ordered a lot of food and never once has a delivery guy begged for tips and shit
damn i ate early tonight and this thread makes me want pizza
>>28283007
Nope, from 18-23. I am about as sociable as your average /k/ommando, the only few times I actually hung out with any of them I managed to fuck something up and ruin it. Played nicely into the whole crazy narrative though. They always wanted me to come to pool halls/bars/clubs/house parties and I always came up with an excuse. It was a pretty thin facade but it got me through. Spent most of my time playing Tibia at my parents house.
> Give the mugger the 5 dollars I have in my pocket.
> When he turns around shoot him 5 times in the back.
> Call police.
> Tell police he robbed you at gunpoint.
> If they ask why he was shot in the back (Protip: they probably won't), just say you were afraid he was going to turn around and shoot you before he left.
>>28282891
Doesn't apply to Finland as much, there are shady and strange areas but the people that live there don't have the possibility of ordering pizza, much less having anything they could threaten me with that isn't a glass shard.
>>28282904
Refugees and kebabs end up being the ones ordering pizzas or doing janitor work. It's mostly the unemployed teens or early 20s kebabs that tend to be a problem, but the worst crime they will do is probably violent rape, in which the rape target wouldn't be a pizza delivery guy but just some random chick. Most of their crime is either rape or just shoplifting, but I don't think any non-sexual violence is their thing. Inner city areas tend to be the most safe in my experience, if shit breaks off, there are other people to do things about it and a fair amount of cops in the areas that can respond in at least 2-5 mins.
>>28282987
I don't feel afraid to walk around anywhere except for whenever I go near the russian border at night. Russian or half-russian teens are much more problematic than some kebabs in my experience. Most kebabs end up being normal people, just poorer, with an accent and working as janitors or bus drivers. Whereas russians vandalize, steal shit and harass people.
Although foreigners commit crimes up to 17 times more often, it's still a relatively safe country and I don't think there are any actual "shady areas" here where it would be dangerous to the point that you'd have to be armed.
>>28277404
I'd literally just go on unemployment until i could get any job that wasn't pizza delivery driver.
delivering pizzas is literally more expensive than the money you make due to gas/insurance/mileage/maintenance of a normal vehicle. You might not notice it because you're in the black now, but a year down the line when you reup for car insurance and have to reveal you're pitting 10k miles per year on your car commercially that will double your insurance faster than vehicular manslaughter. Then when you try to sell your car you'll realize the near shitbox you owned has turned into a total shitbox and you get $300 for a car you could sell for $4k if it didn't have an extra 10k miles on it from city driving that pushed it past it's normal operating life. This is why all pizza delivery drivers drive '97 camrys running on 3 cylinders with lapsed insurance.
>must be pizza delivery driver due to inability to wait a month and get a job doing literally anything else
>can afford to buy a handgun and concealable vest
seriously?
shit thread concept is shit.
>inb4 something something u don't know whipersnapper hurr muh work ethic
if you can't get or aren't willing to get a job in landscaping or construction, then thats on you. I have enough manual labor and customer service experience below my normie career path to get a real low paying job.
>>28282917
You mean like the tactical pizza warmer would have a lvl 3 plate in it and an ar pistol?
>>28278115
You had me at pepperoniflage
>>28282968
Doesn't happen very often. There is usually something like extra breadsticks. But very rarely do we have a few pizzas that we have left over.
What you can do, though, is tell your friends to make bogus orders for a few pizzas. Find some fake addresses and use a fake phone number. Give an address that will show up, preferable an address of an open field/lot/ some place where the delivery guy wont have to try to deliver a fake order to an actual address with people in it. Then you are guaranteed free pizza at the end of the night.
I've seen this happen. People order something to some bullshit address that doesn't exist, leave a non-existing phone number, then call a few hours later to say that the driver never showed up. The store gives them credit.
>>28277404
1: 1911 with 460 Rowland conversion
2: Plate carrier under a baggy shirt
3: SBR P90 with an rds
4: Stand to the side of the doorframe at all times if possible.
>>28283136
but then wont you as the driver get busted for not showing up? does the restaurant buy your car's gasoline? what is the typical night's take home pay wise? for how many hours worked part-time?
Delivery driver here. Not in a bad area. I have thought about bringing soft armor in the car so if I get a gun pointed at the car I can hold that up to the window/windshield as I hit the gas. This is only way I worry about being ambushed at. Good idea /k/?
>>28283091
More or less, yeah.
>>28283280
No, the driver makes an honest attempt at delivering. But the drivers friends place a FAKE order, so that the pizza stays at the restaurant to take home later.
Cant get busted if you show the manager that the phone number is fake.
>>28282847
Dude, walk through an american ghetto.
You will wish you had a gun.
Now do it with a hot pizza, and 20 to 50 bucks worth of change on you.
Now realize the cops are 30 to 45 minutes away, if this is a neighborhood they even bother going to.
EMT's and fire fighters are starting to be issued ballistic vests and side arms in some cities because niggers are so stupid and agressive they actually open fire at the people trying to put out fires and give thier morbidly obese cousin CPR.
Seriously, who the fuck shoots at fire fighters and EMTs, the same people who would shoot a pizza guy for the $20 worth of singles that he uses to make change and a $15 pizza, thats who.
>>28283136
Most pizza places here ask for a credit card over the phone for delivery.
>>28283321
thats not bad, maybe keep it in a backpack and use that as a shield
>>28282847
American ghettos are essentially Nigeria circa 1969. A gigantic shithole constantly at war with themselves.
I delivered pizza in balcomville La, at night on weekends.
Pretty sure I saw a dead toddler who's parents told me it was taking a "nap" amongst a pile of trash and dog shit. The night I quit was due to a black family who wouldn't speak to me but kept offering me to come inside with hand signals, and I wasn't getting stabbed over a pizza.
Fuck the ghetto man.
![hiro_protagonist__snow_crash_by_ariokh-d5vkofi[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/OVm26AR.jpg "hiro_protagonist__snow_crash_by_ariokh-d5vkofi[1].jpg")
>>28277404
just a katana
>it's okay, he's half japanese
>>28277404
>Swede so here we go.
1. AKMS and a RPG-7
2. Bomb vest.
3. ZSU-23-2
4.Allahu Ackbar!
Delivered pizza in Oakland when the economy went to shit. Gun held to my head one, shot at/past twice, 2 attempted carjacking and a hobo trying to bite my leg. Unarmed at first but after the 1st robbery carried bear spray.
If I ever had to go back it would be:
1)1911 of on the hip
2)Heaviest/must intimidating vest possible, helmet too
3)M249 roof mount
4) Call and tell them to pick it up from the kerb and leave cash plus tip while along with the mg
Seriously fuck deliveries in bad areas. You get paid min wage with little chance of tip to risk your life so ungrateful melanin enhanced gentlemen can call you a cracker.
Can greentext some ghetto delivery stories tomorrow if anyone wants
>>28283649
This isn't /tg/ but storytiem is storytiem.
>>28283368
>Seriously, who the fuck shoots at fire fighters and EMTs
The sirens and uniforms confuse them
>>28277404
shit id just get a guy with an m4 and plate carrier to ride shotgun and id have an sbr of any kind a plate carrier. deliveries would go something like this
> put the cash down on the ground
>I SAID ON THE GROU... HEY HEY WHO THE FUCK IS THAT
>TELL YOUR BOY TO GET BACK IN THE HOUSE
> OK IMA LEAVE THE PIZZA ON THE GROUND AND BACK AWAY SLOWLY
>>28283649
we used to deliver to a crack house where they found a head. never found the body. i watched the kids that grew up there get meaner and meaner. i remember a looonng time ago when we were at the gas station near there a kid from that house comes up to us, in his boxers and says if yall dont buy some crack from me ima go in there and tell the manager yall are out here selling weed. friend proceeds to yell why dont you run on home and put on some pants jungle book. gives him the finger and peels outta there. fun times
1. this
2. this
3. squash them
4. squash house and tell the owner that I got a delivery for "I.C.Wiener"
>>28281716
>I am not allowed to carry
>carry anyway
Good for you. Fuck their policy. All they can do is fire you, the madding horde can fucking kill you.
>>28282847
I was shot, TWICE, pumping gas. Every job that deals with the public in America is far more dangerous than being a cop, Finfag.
>>28283904
> far more dangerous than being a cop
id say about as dangerous, i worked third shift in a shit part of town and i was cool with some of the funny cops and theyd tell me all kinds of madness they had to put up with
>>28283054
>russians vandalize, steal shit and harass people.
Yeh, never met a Russki that was worth a pinch of shit.
>>28283912
Check the insurance charts. Cop rates far below shit like "convenience store clerk" in terms of danger.
>>28283054
id like to take you on a quick tour around my patch of ground here in america.
>>28278115
fucking fund it!
i want this to be a thing
>>28278115
And ofc.. Adam Sandler is the pizza delivery dude..
Seriously!
Third finnfag reporting in, sorry for my retarded brethren, some people haven't apparently seen Hood Life. Anyways, as others said, ghettos don't really apply here. Personally I prefer to ride in the back of the bus amongst the more colored folk. I listen to music, they don't bother me and the darkies keep the occasional white drunks away, whom tend to try engage in awkward drunk talk. What makes our lower income areas way safer than in america is social mixing. There is no all-black ghettos and the darkies know that unlike their people, around here the white folks do report crime, and as said, usually, unlike in some Detroit ghetto, the cops are minutes, not hours away.
As a pizza driver (not gonna happen, kebab's job)
>change
>card payment thingy
>phone
>if ambushed, get ass kicked, then again, this just dosen't happen in a civilized country
>>28277769
I'm a pizza guy and when I deliver my pizza, I kick the customer's door down with a mossberg 500 drawn. Customers routinely give me $500+ in tips along with jewelry and eletronics. Might be due to the fact that they think it's a robbery though.
>>28277404
>PPSH-41 and TT-33
>T-34
>Ivan, Vladimir and a crate of grenades
>Close the hatches
Anyone have the Glasnost Pizza audio recording?
>>28284138
>>28281749
I like how out of all those things, the colt was the most outrageous
>>28283521
I freakin love snow crash.
That's my second choice for book worlds to live in right after the Eye of the World Series
