ITT we describe weapons platforms as if they were women. also, gwg thread
AK; biker bitch of the gun world. she wants nothing from you except for you to ride her hard and put her away wet because she can take it. not the prettiest or the finest, but gets the job done. may be sleeping with a bunch of other guys, but not as many as the AR15
>>27952785
This is difficult
AR15; the basic white girl. shes cute and fun. she demands so many expensive accessories and for just $100 more, you can get her the better version of said accessory. she will bleed your wallet dry. she is on the cover of every magazine and is sleeping with every other chad out there but you are okay with that because she is america's sweetheart rifle and you are happy to have your chance with her.
AUG; super sexy quiet girl. not fucking everyone else in the country, she has class. has limited accessories so wont ask you for much, but the things available are expensive as hell and you will feel bad for not providing. probably marriage material, the poor need not apply.
Glock; your average 6-7/10. nothing particularly outstanding about her but she does it good enough in all areas. and is there for you. not the prettiest, but pretty in her own way. probably makes a good gf.
I'll try my hand at this. Mosin Nagant: She's the husky, well built, and stout woman you see at the bar drinking straight vodka as if it was an apple martini (or whatever the hell a girl drinks these days). She'll arm wrestle your best guy friends, and even beat some of them. You may try to buy her cute accessories, but they just don't fit properly on her. But she doesn't care. She has that look of beauty that isn't covered in plastic or makeup, elegant on her own. You take her home that night, and she's shows you her skills. She doesn't do any crazy positions or go 30 times in a row, but the five times she brings you to unload excites you to no end. She doesn't demand an expensive meal or anything, but she isn't a "cheap date."
Makarov: Basic Slavic girl. A little old-school but will always be there for you. Attractive in a unique way, a little bit heavy. Reliability is her best feature, which keeps her relevant even when sleeker and sexier options are available
Hi Point; depressed, easy to get and cheap to acquire, this girl is probably not someone you want to show off in public. fat, ugly, and exhausts her energy quickly, its better to have this chick than nothing, just dont tell anyone. she might be seeing a nigger on the side. you dont care though, she isnt a main squeeze but shell be around for fun if need be.
>>27952928
Replace all that text with; "Mosin Nagant: An average woman named Helga.
10/22; the teeny bopper of the rifle world. tons of cheap bauble available. a little too young and skinny to be your main squeeze, but still (barely) legal in one of those states where 16 is legal. better double check her ID as you would double check the 10/22's wonky bolt release
Flintlock rifle: your grandma. You're pretty sure she's older than America. She smells bad, she's loud, and she smokes like a train. Other people think you're weird for hanging out with her. But you always have so much fun with her, and she lets you load her in her out hole.
any requests? running out of ideas
>>27953027
>double check her
Colt .45 1911
>>27952785
Very few guns are as unreliable as women though, it's hard to really compare them
>>27953027
>>27952928
also state that her sisters from the neighborhood may be better and "tighter", but you'll take whats available.
Mosin Nagant; older than shit out on the pasture, this burly rustic beauty is loads of fun. she grew up with 4 brothers and knows how to get down and dirty. loud enough to wake up the nearest neighbors over 4 miles away. if ever shtf, she will effectively play the role of soldier, but only for a short time and might even teach you a thing or two.
>>27952785
>AK
More like a thai whore that has lived her entire life being used and abused but at the age of 80 is still capable of shooting a ping pong ball out of her naughty hole.
>>27952785
> AK47
FUCKING TRIGGERED REEEEE IT'S AN AK74 YOU FUCKING DISGUSTING PLEB
> calico
Fat sassy black girl
>>27952785
Beretta 92/M9/etc.
>Italian chick, not that pretty but beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Replaced your old girlfriend, who was strong, resilient, awesome, and faithful, the one who got the job done very well but you let her get away, because you wanted to try new things and are now regretting it; but you're making the best of it now, every now and then hooking up with the old GF, loving her and missing her. You're thinking of replacing your Italian girlfriend, but you are slowly realizing that its cheaper to keep her.
>>27953041
quite possibly your wife of 20 years. she aint the youngest anymore, but still pretty enough to compete with the younger, hotter plastic models. even though your relationship with her is old, and yall dont talk much these days, all you have to do is pick up this all american beauty to remember why she's in your collection. she doesnt even care that you see the newer pistols cuz shes had her way with you too and is still there for you. good times, man.
>>27953115
>Beretta 92/M9/etc
> not that pretty
>>27952945
>dick grips
It's a trap
>>27952945
>her
heavy in the rear and a nose so big your like wtf why.still you spent more money on her and really have no idea how long she will keep her good looks. say she is "proven" but your friends of russian and american decent roll theireyes when they heard that.still shes gtg for cars,hallways and bathroom stalls
>>27953155
>>27953161
Phallic grips doesn't equal trap
A gun trap would be more like pic related
Deagle; similar to a sassy black woman, this gun good for nothing but show. loud, obnoxious, and with all of the most ridiculous, and useless tiger stripped bling a welfare check can buy. you really dont want this gun, and if you have one, you are most likely the guy who likes to show how much power you got. just like the amount of power it takes to keep shaquinta satisfied.
Cute, in a goofy sort of way, she's easy to feed and easy to hold. She runs out of go pretty quick and feels kinda heavy in your hand, but you didn't really get with her to make her do any serious work in the first place. She has a younger sister, almost identical sister who's cheaper but just as much fun, though she had to have a little work done and might seem a bit heftier.
>>27953027
Liberator; ugly, thin, skanky ass trailer park trash with some janky teeth and saggy A cups. you know you secretly want round 1 with her just to see what its like but round 2 is because there are truly no other options.
>>27953350
>>27953197
Someone would rip on the Jews i knew it
>>27953110
He didn't say ak47. He said ak. Nigger
>>27953375
It's /k/, were like /pol/ s crazy slightly less racist brother
The well-built half Finnish and half Russian girl. She has the Russian features throughout her functional body, with a slight bust, but you see a Finn when looking at her face.
Her delicate appearance does little to give away her reliability and toughness. She's beautiful, yet tougher than stouter, more homely Russian women who might use their function to justify their homely form, and more beautiful than dolled up American women, who use their form to justify their poor function.
Women like her are becoming rarer now. The initial investment of having a relationship with her is expensive, but staying together is just a matter of providing the bare minimum so that she can be fed and cleaned. And somehow, despite all of this, she's "tighter", more "solid" and was developed and raised with greater care than any others.
>M39
this one is as common as they get. she likes the cheap shit, preferably with no brand name. will still bleed you dry because expensive as hell, but enough to work with. and she certainly can work. but no matter how hard you try or what kinds of new fancy things you bring into the relationship, youre still a two pump chump.
>>27953434
Double Barrel shotgun
>>27953027
Have fun
FN FAL; this gun describes a single man more than a woman. ugly, and overweight, this thing aint got any sex appeal. nicknamed the right hand of the free world.
Hi points
>fat ugly white bitch that only niggers will fuck
HK products
>German supermodel that won't even look at you unless you make six figures
Sigs
>girl with a weird accent that's too tall
Glock
>girl who's still dressing like its the 80s and refuses to shave her bush because it's part of her "perfection"
Makarov
>Russian girl who's perfect in every way... but has a dick
AK
>Russian qt that will always be there for you, she's a little rough around the edges from being raised on a turnip farm with alcoholic parents
AR
>just a typical basic bitch, some are hotter than others
>>27952785
Beautiful, reliable, powerful, and performs the best in most situations, as well as being able to improvise in ones that she isn't used to. She is widely considered one of the best of her type, but she still has the downside of being expensive. She has quite a few siblings, and is often mistaken for her oldest sister L96A1, or, more commonly, her other older sister, AWP.
>>27953335
Objectively strange looking, but worshiped by many older men, whom you suspect of being fags.
>>27953548
>Sigs
>girl with a weird accent that's too tall
tfw no foreign high bore axis gf
>>27954050
what a hideous woman
>>27953469
Oh this one's mine.
A webley is an oldschool kind of girl that looks great and is really fun to hang around with, but never puts out. she's allergic to latex so on the rare occasions she does you have to either buy hard to find and expensive special snowflake condoms, or go bareback with the hopes that nothing goes horribly awry. The type of girl that you'd show off to your friends, but they'd never understand what you really see in her.
>>27954293
nice job anon
>>27953131
I disagree here a bit but I like where you're coming from.
Here goes: 1911, beautiful, elegant and, timeless in a classy way, not the slutty dripping with sex way that some of your newer models are trying hard to flaunt. Definitely marriage material, but you're going to have to compromise with each other to make it work, but if it does you two will grow old together relying on each other every step of the way.
>>27953407
No, /pol/ is more like our racist red headed step brother. /out/ is /k/'s wife, /an/ is /k/'s daughter, /fit/ is /k/'s best buddy from our college fraternity years, /diy/ is /k/'s son, and /x/ is /k/'s crazy uncle who has ways gone on innawoods trips with the family and manages to put the fear of windigos into everyones frequently.
>>27952874
Feel like you need to state that, despite all this, she does take it in the butt.
Alright I've got another one:
FN 5.7, foreign chick who will bleed your wallet dry. Interesting and attractive even though she is kind of a bitch and acts like she's too good for you and everyone else times. Anyone whose dated her is enamored with her and won't shut up about her despite legitimate criticisms others including you bring up, still in light of all of this you still want to oil her up and see how much fun the two of you can have together, even if all of your friends are going to give you hell about it afterwards.
>>27954636
You got it mixed up, /an/ is waifu, /out/ is daughter, /x/ is an old flame who got too batshit insane.
>>27954786
Eh. I like my version better, the whole family interconnected and all.
>you will never have a gf as reliable as your raifu
>>27954867
More like as constant and as reliable. I keep all of the guns I like and shoot regularly. My relationships don't last longer than a month typically.
EM-2 rifle
>the one that got away
>>27954882
You know there's something subtlety creepy about her face the more I look at it, even though she's gorgeous to me. Maybe it's because she looks like a fusion of 2 of my exes, both ones I really liked, one I even loved.
>>27953442
That fucking chickenwing is shameful.
>>27955018
The chicken wing is always shameful. A good friend of mine shoots every fucking long gun like that and I've tried multiple times to correct this behavior, but he says it's "more comfortable" and he "shoots better that way"
>>27954636
i can smell the newfag from across the ocean.
>>27955034
Been here for years cunt. Probably longer than you.
Being one who goes on both /d/ and /k/, the opportunity had to be taken.
Weapon: Barrett M82
Threatening, scary, but most importantly; it's going to hurt if you're on the receiving end.
>>27955037
>new
>stupid
pick one or two.
>>27955042
>annoying cunt
>faggot troll
>stupid bitch
Congratulations you get all 3 prizes!
Seriously you go off unprovoked at me for not liking a lighthearted opinion post of mine, and yeah I guess took your shitty bait but fuck it, I'm drunk and you're a giant sack of dragon dildos.
We need to bump this thread back to the top again and keep it alive. Best thread I've seen on /k/ in a while desu.
G11 - Blue haired engineer kappa
>>27953548
>1911
MILF
>>27955920
Sometimes you wish you never met her and you know of many who said the same. She has a daughter from the summer of love and she looks just like her so much so that you dont know if she is yours. You two try not to talk about when you first met in Normandy and all the hell she put you through just to get to her and you still have nightmares from when she scorned you but every once in a while when she was just too red hot to put out and you got on her good side you know that it was worth loosing your friends for her...
>>27955588
meh, that could be better.
>nuclear level physicist, who most likely grew up next to the LHC. has an extremely strict diet, and anything she eats has to be either "ionized" or "activated", meaning that if you against all odds got together with her, you wouldt be able to feed her. and if you thought your old girl was hard to get your head around or difficult to understand, you are in for a ride
That kinky little slut who messed with everyones head.You know how old that cougar is but in the right light looks like she hasnt aged a day since she first set her sights on you. She knows precisely what you want and that is to just put on some oil and work her all day. You dont want to give her shit for it but deep down you are weirded out by that sheisser flick she made back in the days.
>>27956656
I was referring to something specific
>>27956729
oh, i missed a referance then. sorry
>>27956729
>G11
>>27952785
A Child of war who went on to change everything, and while not as good at most things as some of her younger sisters, she takes pride in the fact that she was the first. Unfortunately, these days she hangs out Exclusively with Kebabs and Rich old White men
>>27956794
G11 has quite esoteric internals similar to Nitori's engineering to regular inhabitants of Gensokyo. Unless you're telling me to kill myself because you think I think the F2000 in that picture is a G11.
>>27953376
file name you dimwit.
SCAR- shes that one white chick everyone wants. tanned, well traveled and experienced because only the best have had her. she doesnt care if you wanna load her from different sides, but if you ever could afford her, you would realize she's really not that special, and she either has skin problems, or she just usin uneven tanning beds
>>27952785
>gwg thread
inb4 you faggots post the tranny with the mp5
>>27957149
>Using Heroes and Generals update image instead of actual pic
>Third time in a row I've gotten Select all Waterfalls Captcha
>>27952785
She's holding an AK-74, not an AK-47. Look at the magazine.
>>27953548
Sigs
>girl with a weird accent that's too tall
a dutch girl?
old, sexy, complicated grandma
>>27952785
>flintlock rifle
tall, skinny, reliable, and favorite tool of the mountain man.
the physical embodiment of taylor swift, a timeless and sexy country girl without a reason to change with the times.
>>27958624
just no
>>27954867
>you will never have a gf as reliable as your raifu
Raifu > Waifu > 3DPD
>>27955016
Nah dog, it's her weird fucking nose and chin. The shadow stache isn't helping.
>>27957179
the autism is tangible
>>27955038
>/d/
literally no
fuck off and die
>>27957497
>not that special
Bullshit I love my SCAR she's mah raifu.
