/k/ humor general
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You are currently reading a thread in /k/ - Weapons
You are currently reading a thread in /k/ - Weapons
Ivan, MRE shits, dead cats, forest fires, you know the drill.
A нy, чики-бpики и в дaмки!
hello reddit
WOW THE SAME SHIT THAT GETS POSTED
EVERY
SINGLE
TIME
>>27798767
These threads are quite literally newfag threads, why are you suprised?
>>27798640
I went on a bit of a /k/ hiatus after this thread, what ever happened with it? I know he was thinking about giving /k/ommandoes a sick discount if he couldn't get them taken back.
>>27799192
Everything got sent back without a problem. It was an accident on his distributor's part
>>27798655
>airsoft parts mixed with actual gun parts
the fuck
>>27799755
There once was an anon that fucked up so badly, he put an actual USP 45 slide on an airsoft USP frame. He had to dremel the frame apart to get the slide off.
>>27799766
show it
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3d957TracBI
>>27800846
Fucking why.
>>27800915
If I remember correctly, some PETAfags were pissed at him for some reason or another. And him, being the psychopathic badass he is decided he'd show them a thing or two about property rights.
>>27799766
Reminds me of the fa/tg/uy that glued a warhammer piece to his dick.
>>27800941
>a thing or two about property rights.
Couldn't he be charged with animal cruelty? I would love to start a Chihuahua "labor camp" in my backyard as long as I don't get raided by the ASPCA.
I would apologize for the shitty crop, but I was on mobile and I can't be bothered.
>>27800941
I'm no petafag, but that is just wrong, shooting a horse, apparently a healthy one, just to prove a point. Someone should beat his ass. You know, to prove a point
>>27801002
Would you not be sad if it were a cow? Apparently he runs a Horse slaughterhouse and using them for meat.
>>27800974
Nothing cruel took place though.Just a humane disposal of an apparently unwanted animal.
Horse is dead before it hit the ground, honestly getting a bullet through the brain like that wouldn't be a bad way to go. Dead before you knew what hit you.
>>27801002
He's stupid for killing a young horse for no reason other than to prove a point, no one is disagreeing with you there.
However it is his property and he can do whatever he likes with it. All animals are property, even your cats and dogs and you can do (with limits) anything you want with them. There are laws to protect them from abuse but you can choose whether they live or die.
>>27801059
So you're saying I can buy dogs and kill them in my backyard as long as it's humane? Don't lie to me anon I'm seriously thinking about making a business venture based on chihuahuas.
>>27801010
Context helps everything if he's going to get the meat who cares, also:
>muh stopping powah
>>27801115
Depends on your jurisdiction and burying corpses in your backyard may require certain zoning due to pollution of ground water etc.
But yes you can buy dogs and kill them humanely.
Animals are property.
>>27801120
Even if he's not though does it really matter?
>>27801130
So, what you're telling me, is that I can shoot my fish?
>>27798655
>chairman meow
Sides gone
>>27801132
It matters to me, in my eyes killing something for reasons that are not population control, meat/hide/whatever farming, or if it's a pest, is kind of a dick move. Not particularly a huge deal, kinda like stealing someone's parking space, not really important in small numbers of occurrence, but a dick move none the less.
>>27801168
>he doesn't kill animals simply because they're the ecological equivalent of niggers
>like squirrels and geese
>>27801168
But, it's a horse slaughterhouse. He did use it for meat/hide.
>>27800846
where is the full video?
>>27800846
>when someone asks how /k/ feels about /mlp/
>>27801184
But a horse that's healthy and able and clearly trained? That's shooting a dog. A big expensive dog.
>>27798746
aww this again?
Hey somone wanna tell me if this would actually work or if it would just fuck my barrel up.
>>27801114
That's all I'm saying. Just he's an asshole.
>>27801142
I don't think you should own pets
>>27801361
It wouldn't ignite, and wouldn't stay lit if it did. Probably worst thing is it could gum up your barrel
https://soundcloud.com/dj-ivan-boots-3ma/glasnost-pizza
>>27798722
>BLOWOUTNOWSTALKER
Made my day.
>>27801142
only if they're in a barrel.
>>27801398
as pointed out a billion times, we fought NK, not SK where almost all Koreans in the US come from.
same goes for Vietnam.
also this thread has the exactly same couple of fake stories that get always posted in "humor" threads.
literally cancer.
>>27801336
I thought /k/ loved /mlp/
Or is it the other way around?
>>27799439
>>27799447
>>27799662
>>27800896
>>27799662
>And so, we went to war
This is my favorite meme now
Well, it's tied with pic related...
>>27801856
>the pleasure of being Kalashnikov'd inside
>>27801881
Ain't no party, like a Kalashnikov party!
Let's see what else I can dig up...
going to rake some leaves, someone else take over
>>27798640
That sounds like an expensive error. I hope it was sale-or-return.
>>27798655
>>27798746
>>27801916
>>27802237
>>27800846
Why does this hurt me to watch?
>>27802610
empathy?
>>27801856
Why do they always do this? Do sand people not realise that bullets come back down?
here come the anus manus stories
>>27803080
Why do we always fire into the air at weddings, funerals, for fun, 4th of July?
Why are we so fat?
Why are we so afraid of showing nipples?
Why are you such a retard?
Some questions will never be answered I guess.
>>27801797
Just for you me amigo
>>27803561
>>27801797
>>27803582
>>27803561
>>27801797
>>27803610
>>27803582
>>27803561
>>27801797
>>27803641
>>27803610
>>27803582
>>27803561
>>27801797
>>27803661
>>27801797
>>27799662
these are the best
>>27803721
>>27803721
>>27803721
I made it 2 years ago after posting in an IDF thread and komrade saying it remained him of pic related, which I see as an all time classic.
And >>27803758 posted the second one before me.
>>27803788
>>27803721
Forgot pic.
>>27801034
fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck
>>27801921
who the fuck are these idiots?
Hope you guys will appreciate my effort into this and the totally original idea.
>>27804460
>>27804591
Yea, but I'm lazy and do things slowly.
>>27798916
I remember that thread
>>27804786
>>27803750
jesus fuck
>>27804697
>sealand
we should've known
>>27798640
>>27801115
found the atf agent
>>27804804
you ruined the joke
>>27802777
Nice digits. Perhaps it hurts to watch because it wasn't quick? It seems like the horse is still kicking around, but that might just be spasms? Forgive my ignorance. Also poor horse, he didndu nuthin'
>>27800846
I heard the noise from this in my head when I watched that.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BUSn1mrQU_Q
>>27801533
You really fucking think just because the physical borders of a country change that the ethic makeup of the people change with it?
>>27801256
http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=6ab_1363962334
>>27805422
Tell that to Republicans and Trump.
Those guys REALLY love the idea of borders defining culture.
>>27805441
Trump is the classical fascist candidate. Build up a big hate-boner in the populace against a minority group, especially if they're seen as a "foreigner" group, so they ignore the totalitarian intent of the candidate to basically destroy the democratic system.
>>27805467
A meaningful post with actual insight?
I see day/k/are is over for today.
>>27805441
No you fucking retard, those are mostly inhabited by different ethnicities for centuries. Let's say I cut a mexico in half, in 50 years do you really think the two side will be made up by two diffrent ethnicities. NO, it wont, and that is what happened to korea
>>27805572
>implying best and worst korea are still ethnically the same by now
>implying a shit ton of the SW US is ethnically seperated from mexico somehow
>calling others retards
atleast you tried.
>>27802610
Because the horse had nothing wrong with it?
>>27805572
You DO realize that many states were formely Mexican lands we took by force?
So your whole argument implodes when it comes to keeping Mexicans out because of ethnical differences?
I don't think you do, but feel free to contradict yourself more.
>>27804442
SJWs. Guy whipped out his dong in front of the whole mob and then got cornered on that slope.
Had this stupid grin on the entire time, too...
This one is a classic.
>>27804442
>feminazi parade in brazil
>some hue go to the street and show them his dick
>they mad
>>27805628
For the most part, they are. They're even used in studies on the effects of long-term malnutrition and propaganda on the human body and psyche, specifically because they were one ethnicity only 70 or so years ago.
>>27805684
>/k/, a magical place
>>27805703
i agree.
deport all illegal immigrants and anchor babies.
we should start with your family.
only native americans belong in the US.
stop breeding in my land.
>>27805684
>>27805684
>shit that never happened
>>27805782
literally none of these "humor" stories ever happened.
humor threads are made by newfags and enjoyed by newfags.
A reminder for the IDF image poster.
>destroying /k/ edition
>>27805694
They wont be the same after trump builds an actual wall instead of the 13 foot rust fence we have now.
>>27805650 No America bought that land when Santa Anna needed money after starting a dick waving contest regarding America letting Texas join the union and losing quite badly after escalating it to the point of war and you lost Texas yourselves before that. Mexico is never going to get it's territory back, Aztlan is a myth and Mexico got fucked by its corrupt leaders who tried to go toe to toe with America 200 yaers ago. Trying to change it now is just going to fuck everything up worse than it is. Besides most the bad shit coming in from mexico doesnt originate in mexico, looking at you central America and Columbia.
>>27805836
I was referring to the Koreas, m9. Or did we do shit to the DMZ?
Granted, I should have said 60 and not 70 years.
>>27805805
Then why are you here? Also, pretty sure that pic related happened.
>>27805853
My post was ment for.
>>27805628
But America did help build and design the DMZ.
>>27805684
>>27805857
I live in south dakota, I can believe this happened. People here are mostly fucking retarded. Like hillbilly tier.
>>27805857
to remind people that these stories are fake and you are the cancer that is pasting the same 10 pics over and over and over and over.
post something that hasn't been in literally every humor thread in written history.
>>27805684
wtf /k/
>>27805836
>They wont be the same after trump builds an actual wall instead of the 13 foot rust fence we have now.
>Trump
>Even clearing the Primary
>>27798640
>>27801034
Kek'd.
>>27804864
FUCKING SEA-PEOPLE! STOP WRECKING OUR NATIONS! IT'S BEEN FUCKING THREE THOUSAND YEEEAAAAAAAAAAARS!
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>27801034
Lol I remember that thread, you have the previous post of him talking about smoking peyote on guard duty?
>>27802305
The testicle thing is real. I was in that thread.
>>27801533
Gooks are gooks you autistic fuck.
>>27798640
I think im going to start downloading really funny gore memes to post in your super cool threads
>>27800846
he gets it
>>27806913
Yeah and you are fat.
What is your point?
I got some OC stories from basic that are kinda funny. Any interest?
>>27798771
>YFW when you ordered extreme NSFW box art and all you got was "lolanimeistrash" on it
I'm so disappointed, like damn
>>27806984
yes
>>27806137
I'm starting to get worried. Who else is polling well that has a shot at either winning the primary or beating the dems. We need a GOP president to place supreme court justices or we're going to get keked out of the 2nd by some old faggot in a robe.
>>27806151
someone posted before looking at the thread.
>Two days into red phase
>Toes on line (evening accountability)
>About .0000000005 minutes before DS is scheduled to take accountability
>Look down, there's a fucking random feather in the killzone
>Nudge my bunkmate and point at it, we both have the same idea at the same time
>Drop down to our stomachs and blow at the feather
>Just as we start, DS walks into the room
>Nobody calls at ease, all we hear is "godFUCKINGdammit" and a door slam
>Get chewed out for a bit, forget about the whole thing
>Much later, at graduation, DS pulls me and bunkmate aside
>"Soldiers, I've been a DS for almost my full term and that was one of the funniest things I've ever seen. I had to leave the room because I was going to break up and lose my military bearing."
>MFW I broke my DS
>>27807116
2/?
>At the nightfire shoot
>Tracers eventually start brushfire at the dusty cunt of a base known as Ft Sill
>DS: "Soldiers! Shoot the fire! Shoot the fucking fire! Shoot it out!"
>Everyone on the line starts magdumping at the fire
>Brushfire gets bigger and we start other brushfires
>"Oh shit Soldiers, DS just remembered he has an appointment across base. If the MPs come, DS was never here!"
>>27807153
3/?
>Weapons training
>Learning how to take down and clean weapons
>Somebody isn't following along
>"Soldier! Why the fuck aren't you cleaning your weapon?!"
>"I already know how to Drill Sergeant!'
>"Oh shit, you're one of the high speed motherfuckers with an AR15 at home, huh?"
>"No, Drill Sergeant!"
>"How the fuck do you already know how to break down your weapon then soldier?!"
>"My girlfriend at home has one Drill Sergeant!"
>DS loses his military bearing, can't stop laughing, kid does about a hundred 8-count pushups
>Throughout basic, kid has a second nametape on his rifle that says "Suzies cutiepie" on it
>>27807075
Remember that the Primary isn't the same as the General election. Polling well because crazy doesn't automatically mean victory amongst the GOP faithful. Hillary is polling well too, but Bernie has better informal poll numbers because populist candidates may not be represented as well.
>>27799090
Kiloch here, I see this getting posted every now and then and I fucking hate it.
Also Jay is a fag and I miss playing arma with /k/
>>27807197
anymore?
>>27807254
Give me a few, I'm trying to remember some more. Remembering details is hard when you're stressed all the time
>>27807287
4/?
Okay, let me predicate this by saying that this kid totally had this coming to him, he always used footpowder on almost every inch of his body and left it all over the latrine floor. Now I'm just going to tell what I saw from my view, because I don't know exactly how my platoonmates pulled this off
>Be first day of quals
>First iteration, getting comfy
>Range is declared hot
>Look to my right just in time to see a huge burst of powder come out of footpowder kids barrel
>DS looks down at kid, "The fuck dude? Did a mummy get freaky with your weapon?"
Oh, forgot to mention my whole battery got to go to an Enrique Iglasias concert halfway through basic. Shit was cash.
>Gear issue 2004, Parris Island
>DI's push grandmas away, throwing whatever at whoever recruits were infront of him.
>Got two mismatched, right footed, wrong size boots.
>2Scared2Ask4New1's
>Survive three days with wrong boots, feet adapting to size.
>March at a right angle, hazed because of it.
Fuck this.
>At night, broke dick dropped 4 times back because broke dick.
>Firewatch at 1am, too much of a pussy to steal from niggers or jock-pogs.
>Try on broke dicks boots, they fit.
>Hand sanitizer my name off my boots, copy his onto my wrong boots. Do the same with his boots.
>Internally cum when feet are comfortable.
Next Morning.
>Get on line, get dress, go, go, go.
>Recruit Blanton goes to put on his boots>
>Loud yelping from other end of the squad bay as he struggles to get on boots.
>Kill hat, Drill Hat, proceed to ass fuck him with their voices.
>I'm literally crying holding in the hilarity.
>Broke dick ends up getting dropped again the next day.
>>27807360
nice m8
>>27807116
I don't get it?
>>27807243
why did the group disband?
Fresh OC
>>27798640
Got a short Basic story
>CEFTX, Ft Leonard Wood
>Pvt Texis, platoon fuck up. Total idiot. Actually from California
>Gets us again smoked for some shit, forget what
>Decided it would be funny to tie him up and leave him in front of DS hooch
>Texis agrees to this, so we figure what the hell, we get a laugh, it'll be worth the push ups
>Drop him off, knock on the door and run
>DS pokes his head out, sees Texis, yells "thanks for the gift, fuckheads" and drags him into the hooch
>We don't see him for 3 days
The DSs hung him on the wall of the hooch like a hunting trophy. They'd let him down every 4 hours to piss and eat, then tied him up and hung him up again
>>27798779
>sage going in all fields
A clever gambit
>>27798640
That is 350 Glocks at the very most, including the ones out of frame.
>>27808492
>Actually counted them
>Maybe he set aside the ones to actually keep
>>27798916
I remember not thinking anything really strange about the butt out. I got one as a Christmas present in high school because my uncle and I were PHs and it was so damn handy to have. Weird how your life can differ so much from others that some aspect you never even thought about is freaky laugh inducing shit.
>>27804460
I expected an "absolute madman" joke, desu.
>>27808675
what the fuck is up with me. I thought I had written "desu" there.
>>27808694
desu desu desu desu desu
Is this like some sort of gimmick?
>>27808854
It's an ancient /b/ thing, from how a character in Rosen Maiden had a verbal tic of appending nearly every sentence with desu.
>>27808886
thanks, but what does that have to do with the slang for "to be honest"?
>>27801533
Korean detected.
>>27808897
Probably because fuck you for using an acronym instead of typing it out.
>>27808897
because Mootwo is love.
I missed constant word filters.
>>27808954
desu desu desu desu desu
>>27808854
>>27808897
>being so fucking new that you don't know who desu is
>>27799136
Underrated.
wait a minute
baka desu senpai?
>>27808995
>P250
I FUCKIN KNEW IT
>>27808994
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pdsV8NpzLC0
>>27801856
Nigga on the right straight outta CS:S.
>>27801910
I lol'd so fucking hard I woke up the baby. thanks.
>>27805684
>12 year old dick
I'm getting to old to be amused by this
Somebody post Private Wolf. I lost all my /k/ stuff.
>>27808897
An Hiro is bringing back word filters for people like you
>still shoots better than average /k/aylord
>>27798910
https://vimeo.com/102059004
To be honest it made some sense in the presentation they gave for it.
>non lethal private security
You can't really use a fiddy cal beagle on a drunk dude at a game.
Although anyone using it for self defense at home suring an invasion etc deserves to get fucking shot
>>27809258
I get that people doing stupid shit with firearms can be funny, but it seems like someone dumb enough to smack their face with a pistol is also dumb enough to then wave it around at people behind the firing line. Makes me cringe a bit.
>>27801784
>>27808895
I've seen a fair bit of dislike towards /mlp/ from here.
Don't recall the exact thread, but one not long ago on this board had someone go along the line of thought /pol/ and /mlp/ was /k/'s ally. And boy did it get some diagreement thrown at.
So I guess its a pretty mixed bag, really.
Some people hate them. Others are indifferent. And some are welcoming, and probably visit them too.
>>27806854
I'm Batman. It's the truth, you're in this thread.
>>27809575
Fuck you Batman, nobody likes you; you are a terrible person.
ITT Spiderman and Spiderman villain Weapons
>>27809549
Generally it's because pre-/mlp/ they flooded every board with the shit, so just like the /news/ fucks after that board got deleted they got shunted into a containment board.
>>27801533
That doesn't really matter, though. My dad fought in Korea, hated all Asians because of it.
>tfw one day he told me: you can fuck whoever you want, shit some of those black women can make their pussies eat corn out of your hand, but if you Ernst being a Fucking Korean into my home again so help me God I will end you. I brought you into this world and I can damn sure take you out of it.
>tfw I was in the second grade and had brought my Korean friend over. After she left we had this conversation.
>>27810221
your dad has mental problems and is unable to differentiate wartime life from civilian life
>>27811239
That's a nice FAMAS
>>27801142
Calm down Ruby
>>27805684
C'mon, /k/. I can't be getting boners at work.
>>27801905
back to 9fag
>>27808090
GET THAT SHIT OUT OF MY DISTRO BOY
>>27811239
>Deagulls
man...
>>27808995
>who desu is
I think it may be you who is new, faggot
>>27811124
I would hope not, he's been dead for almost 12 years.
>>27812062
thank goodness and good riddance
Obligatory
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9730616/1/The-Consequences-Will-Never-Be-The-Same
>>27812105
Not him, but going to the Middle East made me really really dislike Middle Eastern people. I just assume they all want to sell me bootleg copies of Good Burger or they serve food with their bare hands.
>>27800896
If I were a truck driver towing a tank, rocket, or some other ridiculous cargo, I would pull shit like this all the time.
>Pull up to Walmart
>ICBM on back of truck
>Fuck safety, I want my Twinkies
>>27798640
>>27812633
GLORIOUS
>>27812633
That's a /tg/ screencap though.
Still amazing.
>>27800846
So a day ago I went to go try to find that thread in my pics, but couldn't before I had to leave work, then never bothered to check this thread again. But, if you happen to still be around, I came across the dremeling pic today, still haven't found the thread cap.
>>27809215
>tiger tank
Looks like a horse drawn cart
What the hell?
>>27813669
The German army's equipment was really bad towards the end of the war in Europe.
>>27813688
What if it was just an honest german bringing grain to the market with his grandfather?
>>27813742
American and British pilots didn't care, they would strafe it and claim it as a tank kill, which is what the filename is alluding to.
>>27801408
>YOU ARE ORDER AMERICAN GREASE DISK
>>27812281
Never happened, but make me kek
Fresh off the presses.
>>27812516
>hauling ICBM
>federal escorts because 9/11
>literally hermetically sealed in truck for security
>ask for twinkies over secured radio comms
>get told to check overhead storage
>family pak box inside
>independence day edition - red/white/blue colored with frosting stars and stripes
>eastbound_and_down.webm
>>27808090
Rated
Post
>>27808090
Unfortunately, rm -r kebab has been aliased to sudo rm -rf --no-preserve-root /
>>27807730
When DS walks into the room, your bunk/ area should be motherfucking spotless. Two maggots saw a feather between their designated areas, and decided to have a mini-blow-war over whose side it would end up on. DS walks in, sees what the fuck is occurring, and looses his military composure because it was unexpected and funny, and had to leave the room.
DS tells them this when they graduate.
>>27807197
Ok these are all great anon, so thanks but I lost it on this one
> "Suzies cutiepie" on it
My FUCKING
SIDES
I
D
E
S
>>27808299
plz be real
>>27811946
Dude I just fucking got that as well.
Keked a little bit, then was sad because of all the times I was like "they don't even look like seagulls..."
>>27812105
Literally live, because dying would be an excellent reprieve from your atrocious, miserable life
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A7BA8O_zbwM
- Guns
- Prepping
- Lizard Government
>>27798655
As an autistic cat person, this amused me.
>>27817389
Seriously i dont believe thats a dude. but i'm not gonna enjoy it just incase.
>>27817407
Just admire a nice ass anon.
And I think it was confirmed as a dude in the thread.
>>27817407
A dude can have a nice ass too. No homo.
...maybe a little homo.
