Pitch me a sitcom involving these three men
>>987178
Captain Blackladder, petty captain Percy and the shoeless brute O'Balders are mistaken for French war hero's and promptly given high courtier functions at the French court.
The short one is a huge brown-noser to his higher ups and treats his company like shit. The captain has been to battle many times and is a level headed wise man. The Irishman is the fool, a drunk, a comedic relief character. However he is incredibly strong. This trio of men who would likely never have met now have to run a campaign against........ You guessed it. The Turks.
[wacky closeup then pan out]
COMING THIS FALL
>>987194
GONE SEXUAL
>>987207
ROB SCHNEIDER IS
>>987178
>Petty captain: Straight man
>Landsknecht captain: Hugely ambitious, always fails spectacularily
>Irish: Big, strong dumbass, extremely lucky
They were left in some backwater colony after their lord evacuated the premises because they got hugely drunk the night before. Now, they rule this shitty little realm of banana-eating negritos and try to make ends meet, struggle with waging war against the neighbors etc.
>>987178
Petty-captain:Uh. Irish Auxiliary, you know that English bowman just looked at you
Irish Auxiliary: So what, what am I supposed to do?
PC: Go beat him up.
IA:Captain, bowl cut men with no liege and no money who live with their parents don't approach strange enemies.
PC: Well instead of standing here, man up and go up to him.
IA:Yeah, I should do the opposite.
PC:If every instinct you have is wrong, then the opposite would have to be right.
IA:Yes. I will do the opposite. I use to sit here and regret it for the rest of the day. So now I will do the opposite and I will do something.
>>987178
is it better to be the king's hand, or the petty-captain of foot?
>>987303
>>987291
[audience laughs]
>>987242
A COMEDY THAT'S FUN FOR ALL THE FAMILY
They met as conscripts
Their friendship was forged on the battlefield
Everything was going great
Until she came along
*record scratch*
This summer
These brothers at arms face their toughest challenge yet
Brigid
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fpeudpjyWS8
>>987178
>Irish auxiliary: Ed
>Petty-captain of Foot: Edd
>Landsknecht captain: Eddy
>>987178
>Landsknecht captain
An angry manlet who's extremely full of himself, constantly doubting the other members of the trio and thinks his plans are the best ones even though he's the most incompetant one.
>Irish auxiliary
A lovable idiot who doesn't know his own strength and is constantly making mistakes, serves as the comic relief.
>Petty-captain of Foot
An intelligent and level headed man who can't believe he's stuck with these two, he is always trying to make the best of it though and makes most of the groups decisions.
>Plot
After getting separated from the French army this hilariously dysfunctional group is left stranded in Spain! Hilarity ensues as they try to survive not only the Italian Wars, but each other!
>>988101
I like this one.
>>987178
the three stooges + the big bang theory + the absolute horror of medieval combat
has the friends theme
Rob Schneider der der der derp tah tiddly tum
>>988101
This is all that we needed
>>987178
Basically, Hidden Fortress set during the Italian wars with the Lansknecht and Irishman being the peasants, and the Petty Captain being the samurai general.
Petty captain: Lahey
Landsknecht captain: Julian
Irish Auxiliary: Ricky
>>987178
>1544
>Irish have still not discovered shoes
>>987178
Three's Company meets Modern Family.
Three gay dudes who all work at the castle live together but have to pretend not to be gay, even though they're quite obviously gay.
Friar Furley is in charge of their quarters, and is suspicious, but doesn't have any evidence to oust them to the Inquisition yet.
>>988936
To be fair, he had shoes, but they were potatoes.
>>987178
Irish auxillary played by Seth Rogan
Michael Cera playing Landsknecht Captain
and James Franco plaing himself dressed as a Petty Captain of Foot
They walk around running away from French and smoking weed
>>988156
>Landsknecht captain
>An angry manlet who's extremely full of himself, constantly doubting the other members of the trio and thinks his plans are the best ones even though he's the most incompetant one.
Wanna check the picture again for whos the manlet?
>>989005
Two brothers, an idealistic, proud, self-righteous Norman and a world-weary realist face a challenge when they find themselves lost deep in the Levant. They must rely on the help of an unsavory Turkish deserter to guide them home. But first, the unlikely trio seek to make a fortune in the Far East, which often lead to hijinks and unfortunate circumstances, often leaving them worse off than before.
>>989431
>stern, working class Lieutenant from Philly
>Hothead racist redneck
>typically stoic, no-nonsense black man prone to anger outbursts from Atlanta
>>987178
They all got hired at a law firm but because of Affirmative Action, they have to dress as women when they go to work.
>>987178
2 (Eduarde Blackwoode) is a snooty noble, has a nasal voice and constantly condescends to the other two. 1(Jonathan Smythe) is slightly less noble but still nobility, and is a short-tempered overcompensating manlet who gets himself into a lot of fights and shit. 3 (Byron) is a wise, silent character who, when he does speak up, is almost always right, but is often ignored by the other two for being a peasant. 1 and 2 are constantly bickering, 3 is not above picking both up and separating them when they get into it.
The three are exiles (due to 1 and 2's hijinks) who join up with a mercenary company during the Thirty Years War that does its best not to actually get into any fights.
>>987194
>mistaken for French war hero
>Fuckoff huge St George cross, topped with a tudor rose.
>A fucking irishman, replete in saffron leine.
>Some german fella.
>>989491
Was literally thinking this
>>989491
>3 (Byron)
give him an Irish name at least
>>989955
>Dex build
>Str build
>Tank
>>989955
Is that lizard acting like a grappling hook?
>>990067
There's story in India that a general of the Maratha Empire scaled the walls of a Mughal fortress with the help of his trusty Monitor Lizard. No clue if its true or not.
>>990106
Actually after more research, it was any Marathan Soldier who needed to scale walls, not just that specific general.
>>989955
>you will never look this badass
>>989415
4 = sassy, foulmouthed with a heart of gold and a smile on his face
3 = righteous leader with a taste for the carnal pleasures of the world
2 = brother of 3, that one character that isnt developed much but is interesting purely as a result of their lack of personality
1 = questgiver, untrustworthy but provides second opinions on situations anyway. kinda like danny devito's character on Always Sunny but a bit less gross and crazy.
5 = whiny, always made fun of, side character
>>987178
>dat black and white harness
I fucking love that style.
>>990103
>shut up abu, I have read this in a book
>*record scratch*
>*freeze frame*
>So you're probably wondering how I ended up with these two
*Chuckles* well it's a long story. First we have to go back
>*Rewinds to midwife leaning over heavily pregnant woman*
>"It's a boy" cries the midwife
>Camera pans over fully armored baby
>Woah, woah! Not that far back!
>Camera fast forwards to battle of Marciano
>Oh here we go
>French forces in fast retreat
>Petty Captain thrown into jail cell with Captain and Irish Auxilliary
>It may not look like much, but this is how I met my two closest friends
>All three look at each other and back at the guards
>"I have to share a cell with these two?" they all whine at the same time
>Well, we weren't friends right away
>*Funky fresh tunes start playing*
>But little did we know that our world was about to turn upside down
>Three of them kneeling in front of Maximillian II
>"I knight you three; arise, guardians of the Holy Roman Empire"
>Shadowy figure in background raises his eyebrows and makes a smug expression
>I'm Pierre, and these are my two closest friends, and this is our story
>HBO presents
>'KNIGHTZ'
>SOMEBODY ONCE TOLD ME THE WORLD WAS GONNA ROLL ME
>>991243
I'd pay a ridiculous amount of money to watch this
>>991243
HOLY FUCK +1 internet for you, sir
>>991443
>reddit detected
>>991243
I enjoyed the fuck out of this
>>991243
Be the father of my mother!
>>991243
Write it!
>>988096
>This summer
>>989431
>uh you dont get to bring friends
>this nigger aint my friend
>>991243
>*Carriage hurtling through Rome chased by horsemen*
>"What's plan B?" screams Pierre to Captain; Gaston
>"This IS plan B!"
>They scream as Conall nonchalantly tears at a hunk of mutton behind them
>Camera shifts to interior of art studio
>A man stands, chisel in hand, over a block of marble in complete concentration
>Carriage rolls past outside followed by thundering horsemen and his hand slips
>Block of marble cracks before collapsing perfectly into Michangelo's David
>THIS YEAR
>"Pfft, and how would one visit these """"planets"""" from so far away Conall?"
>Irishman responds in unintelligible dialect
>"A really big gun? HA, and I bet this kingdom will save Francia too!" laugh the Frenchmen
>THEY'RE BRINGING ON THE ENLIGHTENMENT
>*Scholars walk by trio*
>"I'm telling you" says scholar "A Roman legionary would totally beat a Greek hoplite!"
>"You think they'll ever do that with us in the future?" asks Gaston
>The trio think for a moment
>"Nah!"
>ONE STEP AT A TIME
>*Quadrille plays as camera pans across room church*
>*Peasants partying as scandily clad ladies parade around with their hair uncovered*
>"How dare you defile my parish" screams priest, bursting through the doors
>*Room goes silent*
>"Without inviting me first!" cries priest and pulls two flagons from behind his back
>*Room breaks into cheers*
>Young german alter boy looks at camera and his eyes deaden
>'KNIGHTZ'
>July 2017
>>991712
>reddit never comes here guiz
>>989415
1: You pikefags are the fucking worst. What if someone just pushes it aside and gets close? Shit, with a big enough sword I could just cut through the shaft and then you'd be fucked.
2:
>implying you'd get that far
>implying my m8s wouldn't skewer you once you pushed mine aside
>implying that big sword wouldn't be ceremonial
3: I just carry both lol
4: Does anyone else see that little devil midget over there, or has our rye gone bad again?
>>991701
>>991243
>>991243
The Smash Mouth intro makes this.
>>991243
SOMEBODY ONCE TOLD ME
SPAIN WAS GONNA ROLL ME
>>993180
I AIN'T THE BIGGEST PIKE
ON THE PLAIN
>>993200
HE WAS LOOKING KINDA DUMB
WITH HIS SWORD AND HIS SHIELD
>>993214
The musketeer starts coming and it don’t stop coming
Sold to the Swiss and they clear the plain gunning
Didn’t make sense not to talk about Spain
Pull the plate off and you’re in extreme pain
So much to shoot so much to throw
So whats wrong with taking the plate off?
You’ll never know if you don’t show
You’ll never die if you don’t go
>>993229
A!men.
>>993229
well meme'd
