I'll start, even though mine's kinda lame.
>be 5 or younger
>used to think tug-of-war was called tug-of-war because people used to fight and settle wars by having a giant tug-of-war match
>>965041
The rape of Belgium made them bad guys.
I didn't believe this but I once had a dream with a History book. It was in the style of an actual one I read as a kid.
It said the Saxon's first city was destroyed by a giant candy.
I didn't know much about Saxons and neither about the migration period, but I now guess it explains the migatrions
Let's get through the common ones first:
>rome fell due to lead poisoning from plumbing pipes
>civil war was about slavery
>medieval knights' armor was so heavy they needed help to mount their horse, and couldn't stand up if they fell over
>Ancient Egypt was the most advanced and sophisticated of all ancient civilizations
>"barbarian" european tribes who fought against the Romans were all the same, un-shaved savages who lived in mudhuts and drank babies' blood for fun
>Believed that Russia and Prussia were the same or very similar
>Thought that native americans and native africans didn' do nuffin until the evil Europeans showed up
>thought that caveman lived at the same time as dinosaurs
>believed in christian shit like the flood myth, Earth is a few thousand years old, adam and eve and the garden of eden was literally a historical place (probably believed this due to retarded "documentaries" on Histroy channel), Moses literally parted the Red Sea, etc.
>Believed that Hitler's goal in WW2 was to conquer the world because he was literally a comic book supervillain.
>>965041
>Der glorious erbkaisertum Deutschland did nothing wrong.
Top kek
I believed the Black Legend.
>>965041
start shit get hit faggot
>>965041
>>965104
central powers = ww1 = not nazis
axis = ww2 = nazis
>>965045
>rape of Belgium
Literally British PR to get them riled up for a war they didn't want to get into.
>>965045
Oh no, poor little Belgium, only cutting people's hands off in the Congo in peace! How could those evil German monsters do this to such an innocent nation!?
>>965088
>>civil war was about slavery
It was.
>>965140
>the govermnent did something bad, so let's rape their women
>>965140
Yes, because the aristocracy had committed atrocities so should the Germans for no reason other than because their leader was a spoiled brat who couldn't stand a single decade without war, thus resulting in a war that tore apart millions of families, consuming zealous youths!
But Germany is vilified by the mainstream, so they wuz gud bois!
>>965028
I believed my mother cared for me because she loved me and not because she was legally obligated.
wait, /his/ related?
I believed that Ancient Egypt did have electricity because of that lightbulb like drawing.
>>965104
It's fascinating, you can smell the author's butthurt through that very image. Truly, memetic synesthesia is the greatest discovery of our time.
>>965028
When I was a kid I thought that Japan was connected to China and the bombs dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki blew away all the land in Japan leaving them with only a tiny strip.
For some reason I believed that a year was composed of 13 independent years. Like for example, if we are living in 2016, we would have to wait until 2029 to start using 2017 in our calendar. I still have zero idea why I believed that. I also believed that Siberia was European because Russia owns it.
>>965028
>countries existed from the beginning like this
>>965140
The nation of Belgium had nothing to do with their King's personal property.
>>965169
>I have down syndrome
>>965164
Holy shit! Imagine if that actually happened.
>>965185
Something like this too, thought that Argentina had the same territorial expansion as today during colonial times
And that the conquest of the dessert was a war that took place in Sahara
>>965207
Desert*
>>965028
I was born in 92, and I legitimately thought that wars were a thing people did in the past. I only ever learned of wars from history, I had no idea there were ongoing wars, recent wars, and many more wars to come.
I remember seeing a picture on a newspaper of an Israeli tank facing some Palestinian kids and thought "Oh shit, it looks like wars might be coming back".
Then 9/11 happened, then Iraq and Afghanistan, and I realized they were actually still around. Later on I realized we're still a bunch of god damn apes.
>tfw you can never be that innocent again
>>965125
central powers=Kaiser Wilhelm II=still the bad guy(s)
>>965028
I use to think that everyone pre-1950's saw everything in black and white.
I also thought war was a game and people would get points day to day, one with the most points wins.
>>965088
always keked at the Hitler meme
>>965028
I read a book when I was a kid that had a page for every modern nation. In the section about Austria, it talked about how it used to be part of the powerful Austro-Hungarian empire. I thought that meant that the two tiny modern states of Austria and Hungary were once united, and still somehow managed to be a European power.
>>965215
Actually war is the most human thing in the world.
War is something where power of man is challenged in the most difficult way possible.
It's just cuck propaganda that makes europeans believe war is a horrible thing.
>>965254
>It's just cuck propaganda that makes europeans believe war is a horrible thing.
I'm going to assume that you've lived a comfortable life and have never been affected directly by war.
>>965254
>cuck memes
Talk to me when you've been blinded by mustard gas after sitting in a trench for four years and having had all of your friends slowly killed off. As the last living veteran of WW1 put it, war is nothing more than legalized murder.
I remember thinking that the interior of Africa was colonised at the same time as South America and India.
>>965140
>he thinks it was actually Belgians cutting peoples hands off
>not Africans fucking over other Africans as usual
>>965272
>"muh you have to be in war to talk good about war" what is this fucking joke?
Its easy to type badass things online about war, you don't experience the consequences.
>Being proud of your ancestors and fighting to protect your own people is bad?
I never said either of those things.
>God, i bet your wife's son is proud of his daddy.
well meme'd friend, keep it up, its helping you
>>965028
I thought cold war meant that the soldiers used cold weapons i.e swords and knives.
>>965272
I hope you don't think that calling someone a cuck is an actual argument. Anyways, war is only justifiable in self defense, when an invading nation brings the war to you. Even then, it should be done as quickly and with as little blood as possible. Otherwise, it's just a waste of other human lives, which is possibly the worst crime there is.
>>965028
most punchable face ever
>>965241
I thought the black and white vision thing as well
>>965215
I remember watching the news in the late 90s during that week we randomly bombed the shit out of Iraq and then stopped, being absolutely horrified because they were calling it a war and I thought that it would be like THE war (WW2) and there was going to be rationing and air raid shelters and bombing, because that's how all wars work .
>>965281
>people think the Belgian atrocities were just African infighting
>King Leopold will never be recognized as the monster he is because of this
>>965303
This definitely doesn't sound like an ad hominem argument. And I literally just said that war is justifiable in self defense. I wouldn't personally be willing to go out to fight, but we both know that you wouldn't be either.
>>965296
sooo..You want to fuck us over economically, and isolate us completely from the outside world? nahh its k. we wont declare war. Fuck my wife, too, please!
>>965041
There were no "good guys" or "bad guys" in WWI. It was a bunch of cunty Imperialists wasting thousands of lives in the name of "muh Imperium mothafucka"
>>965254
>It's just cuck propaganda that makes europeans believe war is a horrible thing.
t: some armchair crusader who has never been within 100 miles of a battlefield
>>965313
>NOT going to war fucks up the economy
Lel
>>965088
>>civil war was about slavery
It was
>>Believed that Hitler's goal in WW2 was to conquer the world because he was literally a comic book supervillain.
He was. He was the leader of the regime that performed mass genocide, has mad scientists doing unethical experiments, wasted billions funding super weapons, and did research into the occult.
>>965313
>continuing to use cuck memes as an argument
>thinks that nations always must be at war with each other and that they can never be friends with each other
>not realizing that wars are entirely because world leaders are too immature to realize that their petty disputes are ending human lives
>not considering how it would feel to be crouching behind a jeep, shooting back at the enemy and waiting for one bullet to come and hit you straight in the forehead
Put down your macho toughness for one second and realize that people of other nations aren't really that different from us. They're still humans, with human wants and desires. The people who deserve to be fought are those who refuse to recognize this and continue to safely start wars from their capital cities and watch as other die because of their bad calls.
>>965322
oh you guessed that one buddy - who could have thought that a person who speaks fluent english and has access to internet is from a western country, where nobody is threatened by war? We got an FBI profiler over here..
>>965164
>When I was a kid I thought that Japan was connected to China and the bombs dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki blew away all the land in Japan leaving them with only a tiny strip.
That's fucking badass
>>965254
>implying that war didn't cease to be a show of manliness with the advent of the machine gun.
top kek
>>965337
Fucking this!
>Muh states rights
>Right to do what?
>Own slaves
>>965281
“I have just returned from a journey inland to the village of Insongo Mboyo. The abject misery and utter abandon is positively indescribable. I was so moved, Your Excellency, by the people’s stories that I took the liberty of promising them that in future you will only kill them for crimes they commit.”
>>965343
That's not an argument against him. You literally just commended him for being able to tell that you're from the west. Wew.
>>965345
Dude I wish history was actually that cool
>>965351
And who, pray tell would actuallybe doing that killing?
Oh yeah, other Africans.
>>965343
It's hilarious, really, that you don't even realize we still have soldiers and mercenaries in the West (as well as journalists and humanitarian workers who do travel to warzones sometimes)
But yeah, guessing that you're a worthless chickenhawk, only good for woofing from behind a computer screen, was no great feat.
>>965028
Used to think the race for the presidency was a literal footrace the top candidates would have to decide who won. I think I like that system more than the convoluted mess we have today.
>>965359
>i doubt that humanity will ever change
Yes, because worldwide decreasing war, murder, and violent crime rates don't mean shit.
>because men are naturally aggressive, no matter how much liberal propoganda you obscure your sight with.
Animals are naturally aggressive, yes. But it's entirely possible to curb your animal instincts and channel them into something healthier. Maybe we won't be able to stop all war and hatred, but we can at least fucking try. Every man who isn't a psychopath has a common nature, and we can use our sense of compassion and empathy to realize that we're not so different after all, and begin to patch up old wrongs, maybe even make some new rights. In short, the aggressive people of the world are only a problem as long as people like you continue to think there's nothing we can do about it when there's very clearly things that we can. We're not the ones with tunnel vision, you are.
>>965296
>Anyways, war is only justifiable in self defense, when an invading nation brings the war to you
What? Look, I'm not in favor of modern war, but without empire...conquest...without the fruits of the most horrible of labors...well...I like the internet.
>>965395
Always and forever senpai
>debunking
States right to own slaves
It was both, but it was still slavery. Saying it wasn't is the confedaboo meme.
>>965381
>Colonists used to kill other colonists in North America and South Africa(Boers Wars)
>Chinese killing other Chinese(Boxer Rebellion)
>Indians killing other Indians
>Native Americans killing other Native Americans
Holy hell, it's almost like a colonialist power has an interest in turning a native population against itself. But, the Africans are a special case.
>>965254
>>965272
>Being proud of your ancestors and fighting to protect your own people against your friend's ancestors fighting to protect their own people is bad
Yes
Fucking moron
>>965313
>Fuck my wife, too, please!
You even paraphrased the meme. You fucking moron. Stop playing so much Europa Universalis and read a book. Or get in a fight and lose.
>>965405
Thanks a lot fampai
>>965381
Most colonial massacres were actually carried out by European (or Japanese) officers and their troops. Even where they enrolled natives in the colonial army, they would be directly commanded by European officers.
This changed somewhat in the 20th century towards decolonization, but the policy was in full force in the 19th century.
The Congo Free State's Force Publique was no exception, as you can see.
None of this changes the fact that the practice of cutting off hands was official policy with the full approval of Leopold and his delegates.
>>965140
>the innocent civilians we killed were the ones cutting off hands in the congo years earlier,, I swear!
>>965385
It's hilarious that you think not going into Kaboul and shooting some random terrorists is being a faggot. you faggot.
>>965475
We all know that German citizens of the congo were burdened by the Yoke of Belgian rule. It was Hitler's responsibility to the German people to protect them.
>>965189
On top of that, Belgian Congo after it became a real colony was pretty chill as far as African colonies went. Belgian rule was certainly more humane than the Germans in Namibia and such.
>>965088
>>Believed that Russia and Prussia were the same or very similar
>mfw i know they aren't the same but i had my dad explain this last night
>mfw i am 23
>mfw i am autistic
>>965386
an agricultural economy built on the backs of slave labour, yes
>>965497
Topkek
>>965473
I never said not to assert yourself as a leader. I said not to act like war is anything other than a cruel reality of life, and that leaders should act whenever possible to promote peace and understanding between nations. Not everything has to be a zero-sum game where only one can survive. This is the mentality that is smothering the planet. Believe it or not, most people don't want war.
I'm also heavily disappointed by your comparing common decency and empathy to cuckoldry. It's the same thing as calling someone a Nazi for supporting even the smallest amount of authority.
>>965574
>to promote peace and understanding between nations
What if it's understood that you want territory and a new tax base to exploit?
>>965088
>civil war was about slavery
Edgy,why do people spout this stupid meme?
>>965611
Because that is what it was over.
I thought Greek Orthodox Church worshipped Zeus
>>965473
>muh feelings
I call it not being a dick. Also, I want to punch your face because you are offending upon the principles of the contemporary western civilisation and because you are "asking for it", but I'm on the other side of a screen and want to act civil nonetheless. There, I said it.
>>965582
How about you go have an ambassador talk to that other nation? You could even just do a fucking Skype call or something and attempt to work it out. I can understand mistakes like this back in the old ages, but this is the age of digital communication. We should definitely try to communicate.
>>965606
Oh shut it porky, you know when the revolution starts you'll be joyfully bringing your gun to slaughter some proles.
Stop pretending you've reached the peak of ideological hygiene. Your ideology is the ideology of exploitation.
>>965611
Because they want to "celebrate their heritage" and the best they can find in granny's closet is a confederate battle flag, else they'd have to make up reasons to wear her KKK hood
>>965386
Yeah man, all those poor Eastern European Jewish farmers truly were a threat to German identity.
>>965647
>How about you go have an ambassador talk to that other nation?
And what? Deliver your declaration of war? With the view of war you've got going on, you should probably limit it to the past 110 years.
Labeling war with these modern terms on a history board isn't good form.
>>965689
*tips Stahlhelm*
>Used to think WW1 and 2 where the only two REAL wars, and all others where wishy-washy cold war type things. I saw a picture of a jet fighter and though "Wonder what a war with those would be like"
>Used to think U.S and U.S.A where different countries, because a map my school gave me labeled the mainland as U.S and Alaska as USA
>Used to believe wars where fought on big gravel field with a massive flag of each nation on one side. both armies charged at each other and the first one to shoot the flag won.
>saw a big flagpole in front of a car dealership and though "what war was fought here?"
Doesn't have to deal with history but I thought vultures had some sort of deathray they transmitted to their prey by constantly circling around them.
Shame pseudo magical stuff like that doesn't exist.
>>965381
>Belgian Congo under Leopold so fucked up that it created a hand economy so that villagers could avoid having their own hands cut off
>"the niggers did it to themselves!"
>>965215
>having news hour in elementary school ( were we watched news and talked about it most of it was more basic but still good)
>Suddenly 9/11 and they show the people jumping from the building and the plane crashing into the bulding
maybe its cause i lived in Europe and people don't believe in sheltering the kids back then, but that sure was a eye opener for me.
>>965028
I thought Buddha was really a fat china man with a round belly.
I thought black people could be born around the world, and that Jamaicans were always black.
I thought that Welsh was similar to English
>>965254
Wanna know how I know you're from middle America or Britain
>>965169
that sounds retarded as fuck
>>965254
t. autistic teenage walt
>Julius Caesar formed the Roman Empire
To my memory Augustus wasn't so much as mentioned in school.
>>965102
How did they start shit those fucking subhuman Serbs killed their prince
>>965041
the higher power were, the civilians were just clueless
>>965254
>soldier calling anyone else a cuck
>>965950
literally nothing wrong with murdering your occupiers
>>965820
9/11 was an exception to the "kids need to be sheltered" mentality here in America, too. I remember in 4th grade art class, most of the newspapers that were spread out had pictures of people jumping out of the windows.
>>965950
By using said assassination by a Yugoslav nationalist to push an imperialistic agenda through reparations designed to be infeasible enough to be unfulfillable, thus engineering something of a casus belli (which everybody saw through anyway).
>>965732
>>Used to believe wars where fought on big gravel field with a massive flag of each nation on one side. both armies charged at each other and the first one to shoot the flag won.
top kek
I used to think that there was a third side in the US Civil War called the "Federalists" who were the Western US and wore green uniforms.
Pretty it was from a combination of confusion from people calling the Union that, not knowing that the US wasn't always as big as it is, and an overactive imagination.
>>965254
Oh really? You would sure love having to land on a beach after heading through rough seas and then watching everyone at the front of your boat getting turned into swiss cheese!
>>965950
>Prince
>Archduke Literally Who
Pick one.
>>965028
That B-52's were dropping bombs on NY on 9/11, cause my mom told me "NY city has been bombed" and I had learned about WW2 on my own.
I distinctly remember the fear in her voice and thinking "What's the big deal? We did the same thing to the Germans and they're doing fine now."
Like, damn man.
>>965343
I'm sorry what? Nothing you said refuted him at all.
>Medieval Kings were all powerful
>The treatment of the Native Americans by the US was unique
>>965215
>born in 92
mfw I can talk about myself on /his/ in two years as an historical event
>be respected ancient historian
>used to think a "push" was called that because people used to fight and settle wars by trying to push each other over
>>965269
>Talk to me when you've been blinded by mustard gas after sitting in a trench for four years and having had all of your friends slowly killed off.
Tell me why you want to talk to Hitler.
>>965337
>wasted billions funding super weapons
oh what, you mean ballistic missiles?
sure thing kid.
>>966073
No, I'm pretty sure he's talking about the attempts to build hovercrafts and other ridiculous shit like the triebflugel.
>>966090
Oh yeah and jet planes.
Fucking useless, right?
>>965732
>saw a big flagpole in front of a car dealership and thought "what war was fought here?"
>>966113
There's a difference between investing in new engine technology and investing in far flung ideas that make no sense to anyone other than the people trying to sell it to you.
>>966043
Actually he was a prince too.
>>965028
When I was eight or nine, I had all these history books for kids titled "Normans" "Vikings" "Greeks" and "Romans". I didn't really understand "dates" and thought that they all existed at the exact same time and fought each other. That was a pretty awesome thing to think.
>>966113
Is that supposed to be sarcasm? Because at the stage of the war that jet aircraft were developed, and the engine hours they could fly before they needed a rebuild, the necessary manpower, their combat effectiveness, etc, etc they were pretty useless.
>>966315
TheHyborianAge.txt
>>965620
implying they don't
>>965945
His name was Gaius Julius Octavianous Ceaser and he even went by Gaius Ceaser
God was real.
>>966315
When I was 8 I thought that The Mongols and Rome fought each other and that's why the Romans aren't around anymore. I also thought that Genghis Khan and Caesar dueled each other.
I thought centralization meant having the capital city be in the middle of the country
>>965732
>Those last two points
Anon, I love you
>>965732
>He doesn't know about the car dealership conflict
>>965550
>slavery is necessary in order to have an agricultural economy, not just convenient
Wew lad
>>965028
urban legend about different types of serial killers who decide the victims based on shoe characteristics of the family.
>>965028
I thought Great Britain, and the UK were all just different names for (exclusively) England.
I thought barbarians and vikings were identical.
I thought the good guy - bad guy dichotomy was real.
>Titanic was made out of wood
>British discovered America
>Vikings Ancient Greeks and Egyptians pretty much started and ended at the same time
>American Revolution was pretty much a bunch of common folk who got fed up with snobby brits
>Greeks just smoothly transitioned into being Roman's and changed the gods names
Slavery was basically white guy goes to Africa and nets black people
>>966913
>it wasn't about slavery
Indefensible position is indefensible
>>966913
It wasn't about slavery before the Emancipation Proclamation.
>>965386
>he literally thinks a war was waged over "our economy is superior to yours"
Fucking cretin, go wrap yourself in a confederate flag and bury yourself.
>>966654
>I thought Great Britain, and the UK were all just different names for (exclusively) England.
Many of our American friends here still seem to.
>>966924
Enjoy your contrarianism and desire to show how "superior" you are small man.
>>966928
Ah, and it is funny that the emancipation only applied in rebelling states.
Also that Lincoln broke the rules of war and prevented diplomats from reaching England.
The war was framed to look as to be over slavery.
>>966949
>Everyone who disagrees that the war was over slavery is a neo-confederate KKK Nazi fascist and should be shot
>>965169
>Siberia was European because Russia owns it.
that's what I thought till now, but i'd did always question why that was, also why Europe and Asia weren't classified a the same continent
>>966985
>should be shot
No, they should shoot themselves.
>>966064
That has some merit though, in large formation battles with pikes the confrontation would sometimes devolve into a pushing contest (because you can't hit someone who is up in your face with a pike).
>>965916
It's not our fault that you people fight like savages.
>>965028
When i was young and didn't know what sex was yet i thought that rape consisted of grabbing a girl in the crotch
i used to think that the map of the world only made up half the globe and that the other half was made up of undiscovered countries
>>965088
>Civil War wasn't about slavery.
Oh yeah it was about the new states that were being formed right to allow slaves. That completely has nothing to do with slavery
>>966073
>muh giant panzer
>muh wmd program
>>967279
Wasn't it about the South noticing that the North could run the country without having to listen to the South at all? Which meant that slavery was going out soon.
>>965028
I thought Japan, China, and what little I knew of Korea was one country who had one emperor and the Samurai, Shaolin, and Ninjas fought crime and Mongols.
>>967310
I'd play that MMO. Throw in some Korean pirates and you've got my subscription.
Napoleon was just some angry warmonger that kept declaring war on people. But was relatively unsuccessful an eventually he gets beaten by the English in a naval battle at Waterloo
>>967379
sleep tight Bonaparte
>tfw read history books from the moment I learned how to read and thus didn't have any glaring misconceptions beyond what pop history teaches
I thought antisemitism was somehow justified by what's happening in the real world.
Weird how as a kid ideas just pop into your mind, you never question them and then star believing thay are facts. Seems to me like a lot of adults never grew out of that....
>I thought the cold war was a giant snowball fight
>I thought the Dark Ages was when the sun disappeared
>I thought Napoleon was as evil as Hitler
>I thought the Jews were extinct
>I thought the Romans conquered the entire world but they all died
>I thought the Blitz was the only thing that happened in WW2
>I thought the Americas were uninhabited until Columbus discovered it
>I thought 9/11 happened decades ago
>>965732
Ahaha how adorable
>Oswald Mosley was some evil reactionary stooge
>Winston Churchill was the greatest Prime Minister to live
>Neville Chamberlain was the Prime Minister solely responsible for allowing WWII
>Clement Attlee was the first Labour Prime Minister
>Oliver Cromwell was a traitor to his people
>>965185
I think pretty much every normie, regardless of age, believes that.
>>965359
It's people like you that give /pol/ a bad name outside of /pol/. You're clearly an uneducated retard who just parrots what they hear on /pol/ without any independent thought. When attacked, you just spout the "c-cuck!" insult, which is just the right-wing version of "r-racist!".
Fucking neo-/pol//
>>965028
I used to think that every country always had the same ethnic demographics. For example, I would think that Turks have always inhabited what is Turkey.
>>965620
>>966385
if we did we would be much better now as a country.Believe me
the ancient greek mythology was too deep and thought provoking for modern societies something that the higher ups do not want at all
>>967985
>Oliver Cromwell was a traitor to his people
He banned coffee, music, and dancing though.
Two of things I'd add into a fictional bad guy.
>>967510
>>I thought 9/11 happened decades ago
underage
I used to think the Viet Cong were called the Viet Kong because they were a gorilla army.
>>965935
Are you a cute girl? If yes marry me
I always thought medieval art was beautiful because lots of 17th century art I saw was about medieval times.
>discovered all medieval art looked like it was drawn by a child with down syndrome
>>968652
t-they're not?
>>968748
O rly?
>>965611
because Jefferson Davis said it was
>believed you go to hell for yawning or sneezing in church
>>968501
>a horny god becomes a swan to rapes a woman
>deep
>>968940
rape
fuck auto correct
>>968933
Top zozzle.
"All we want is to be left alone"
>>967510
Have you got some sort of disability?
I used to think nothing important happened in France between Napoleon and WW1, then after learning a bit about history I realised I was right
>>970679
>Franco-Prussian War
>Germany forms
Y-yeah anon, unimportant...
>>965088
The civil war was about slavery.
>>965254
Which war are you a veteran of?
>>965272
Ah, right, So you;re just another /pol/ pussy talking tough on the internet
>>965088
>Civil war was about slavery
Butthurt southerner detected
>>965088
literally revisionism: the post
I used to think that all nations outside of places like the Americas and Australia had pretty much always existed in one from or another, so there was always a great big Germany sitting around, and France, etc, except for times when, for example, France got conquered by Romans, and then when Rome fell, France popped out again, fully-formed, as it was befeore Rome ate it.
For another example, when I heard about what is modern-day Germany losing a lot of their population in the 30 years war, I thought there was a country called Germany, matching the modern-day borders, which lost a lot of the population.
my friend's brother thought that people who died in movies were people who wanted to die anyways so they just signed up to die for a movie
>>968940
>a horny god becomes a white splooge and impregnates a jew
wew
>>965028
I used to think that human history only really went back 500 years or so. I literally thought the Guadalupe apparition was one of the earliest events in human history.
I believe that the glans of the penis was a foreskin and that I wasn't circumcised. I even found a doctors note saying "your child has been circumcised" when I was 13 and asked my mom if I had been but she said "No in this family has been besides your father when he was young (like 9 10 don't remember" she said that lie right to my face even thought I have 6 brothers. Found out I wasn't whole when taking a biology class when I was 16.
>>971796
I crie everytiem
rip anonymous foreskins all over the world
>>971646
Shit that isn't a bad idea honestly.
>>965820
>tfw when picking up cousin for birthday celebration beginnings
>take him to see his car ( had it repainted, got him a set of Mugen wheels and new tires)
>while in lobby of car shop filling out paperwork see 9/11
>the next day he gave me his car and enlisted
Mixed feelings desu.
>>965028
Thanks to Asterix, I thought all Romans wore crested helmets and went into battle testudo formation.
>>965732
Those fucking last two points
whenever people of other races wanted to hold hands, i couldn't cause i was positive their skin was darker than mine from being dirty.
>>965088
>Believed that Russia and Prussia were the same or very similar
Not gonna lie, first time i read Prussia i thought it was a typo. Tho i don't know how this could be a misconception because it's clearly a Northern German state
For some reason I used to think people in the past were just stupid and never showered
>>972605
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aQFq6sGcOpk
>>966981
>Enjoy your contrarianism and desire to show how "superior" you are small man.
He is right. "It wasn't about slavery" is literally Holocaust denial-tier
>Ah, and it is funny that the emancipation only applied in rebelling states.
Because the Emancipation proclamation was a war time executive order that couldn't apply to other states. The 13th amendment was passed in 1865 ending slavery everywhere.
>Also that Lincoln broke the rules of war and prevented diplomats from reaching England.
Ah yes, the rules of war in 1860. Heard all about them.
>The war was framed to look as to be over slavery.
[citations needed]
>>965241
It's an only crazy game!
It's an only foolish game!
>>965028
I distinctly remember watching some I think some 1940's era documentary about the second world war called 'The true glory'.
I was fucking confused when it cut to the Allies advancing into Germany and it showed the Russians. There had been no mention of them up to that point, and it was weird.
>>974929
Hay would you look at that, its on YT
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ifDqlRZh70
>>974360
that's pretty much true anon even to this day
Since I only ever heard about three presidents when I was little (George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Bill Clinton), I assumed that presidents just lived longer than other people.
>>974796
>[citations needed]
Lincoln invented time travel, sent agents back to influence the wording of various states' articles of secession to make them be heavily about protecting slavery, then destroyed the technology so no-one would know. The cunt.
This is from when I was 7, as I vividly remember my dad telling me that that wasn't the case
>thought that battles happened because two generals would send messages to each other agreeing to have a battle on a certain spot
>>974981
Plenty of smart and stupid in past and present
>>975086
That was true for medieval battles.
>>965088
>elieved that Hitler's goal in WW2 was to conquer the world
well wasn't it? He did try to establish germany as a superpower and wanted colonies and the whole lot right?
>>975314
Yeah but but but not the ENTIRE WORLD so DINDU NUFFIN he a GOOD BOY just need some Lebensraum to get his Reich back on track etc
>>965028
I used to think that the men who drove semi-trailers were very big.
>>975379
4u
>>975300
Yeah, but I was doing it for WWII battles that I was playing out with army men.
>>965028
Used to think everyone who had a brown skin color was an nigger, and apparently so did others at my school because I distinctly remember someone calling an indian kid nigger to which he laughed his ass off and replied that he was indian.
Kind of a based kid desu.
>>965028
Biggest difference was how I thought the UN was really powerful and benevolent and would intervene and stop anywhere an unjust conflict arose. The world wasn't messy. It was a simple game of flags and borders, and true space exploration was just around the corner and everyone was cooperating to make this happen.
>>975686
>true space exploration was just around the corner and everyone was cooperating to make this happen.
God I miss believing this. I thought rich people would be holidaying on the Moon in my lifetime.
>>966043
He was the heir apparent you dingus
I thought the British were evil because they were bad to the French and Native americans.
And then I realized it was all the French's fault, and the British gave us the USA by being assholes, but still contributed a lot to the world.
It made me realize history wasn't black and white.
>>968501
Paganism was never too thought provoking.
Modern religion isn't really "religion" concisely, it's some intermediary between retarded superstition and philosophy.
The former contains in it no sense of reductionism or systematic causality, big boner for anthropomorphism and false positive mind detection, self-projection, animism and shit too.
Paganism is far closer to what I just described, retarded superstition. At least in contrast with subsequent faiths. Intellectuals of antiquity never took that shit too seriously, for good reason.
>>977220
>Intellectuals of antiquity never took that shit too seriously, for good reason.
I'm pretty sure the Greek and Roman pagans, even their historians, philosophers, etc. considered piety pretty fucking important.
>>977238
As a system of metaphysics, cosmogony, shit like that, it wasn't taken seriously. Insofar as a respective religion or superstition would take aim at defining reality, it wasn't paid too much mind. Not by the greats, or at least not to the same degree. I think there's a reason beyond the vagaries of social expectations that caused, say, Christianity to be more resiliently appraised by any respective intelligentsia.
>>965149
>implying the blank check litterally said 'we iz German Reich, Austria attack anybody you want, we want a World War'
>>965028
my friend was a Russian immigrant (in Minnesota) and I was playing with action figures with him and he said the setting would be in Siberia and I imagined suburbia the whole time.
>>965254
War is a good thing huh?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k4Pd527GN48
>>965478
Well you're not picking up a gun or joining the military now are you faggot.
If there's anyone who's a """""""""""cuck""""""""" it's you, stormfag.
It may surprise you that there are democrat soldiers as well.
>>971796
Truth be told, I got circumcized when I was a kid. Not even jewish.
Still feel fine about it, don't even have any trauma over it.
>>965473
>Cuck
>using it unironically
>>965254
>implying war is good
War is necessary, but it's hell on earth.
You've probably never picked up a gun and killed a man you dumb nigger.
I didn't believe in God but I always thought the police was always spying on me so If I did a crime the cops would bust out from bushes and shit and put me in kids jail.
>>965104
This is exactly why Capitalism got BTFO'd ages ago.
>>966660
I blame those civ games that place all those in the same (era)
>>965814
>Belgian Congo under Leopold
No such thing
>>966113
>Russians churn out a thousand tanks a day
>Literally spends millions and months trying to make 1 really big tank called the Maus
>Fails
Classic
>>965028
I don't know how common this belief is, but I grew up thinking B.C. and A.D. stood for "before Christ" and "after death", in relation to Jesus.
>>979049
what?
Anno Domini means years since the birth of jesus and bc is before christ
>>966928
it was a war to rejoin the split union, split by a confederacy wanting states rights to continue slavery. it was still a war over slavery before the emancipation proclamation.
I thought Egypt was an island. I have no fucking idea why
>>965908
I knew a german who was convinced it was a dialect, basically what Kolsch is to German.
He refused to believe the two languages were less related than english and german
>>967379
This so much.
As a Brit I was raised to believe that napoleon was an evil warmonger, frances hitler but they didn't have to be ashamed of it.
And then you realise that Britain would be a republic, not some monarchist shit hole.
>>982001
I'd argue against that. The North didn't want those awful southerners to not have slaves as a war objective. They wanted them to stay in the union.
Even though the confederacy split off over the right to own slaves. It had the right to split off, even for something like that.
I used to think a.m. meant "at morning" and p.m. meant "past morning" and thought "during morning" ("d.m.") wasn't used because people would get it mixed up with Duel Masters
>believed that non-whites didn't have an agenda against whites
quickly realized that they do
>>977435
>War isn't Hell. War is war, and Hell is Hell. And of the two, war is a lot worse.
How do you figure, Hawkeye?
>Easy, Father. Tell me, who goes to Hell?
Sinners, I believe.
>Exactly. There are no innocent bystanders in Hell. War is chock full of them - little kids, cripples, old ladies. In fact, except for some of the brass, almost everybody involved is an innocent bystander.
