What is the greatest BTFO in all of history?
My vote is for Kublai khan getting utterly wrecked by Japan's weather
>tries to invade Japan, basically demolish the samurai
>nothinpersonal.nip
>his entire fucking fleet gets destroyed by a typhoon
>5 years later, tries to take over japan yet again
>his entire fucking fleet gets destroyed by another typhoon
>prepares invasion plans yet again
>dies before he can enact them
It is very ironic as well, since this event led to the Japanese empire and belief that they were divinely protected. It also spawned the popularity of "Kamikaze" meaning divine winds, ie, the two divine winds that protected japan. It wasn't until WW2 that the Japanese empire was brought to an abrupt end by another two "divine winds", this time from America.
>>6757
who's this cum plum?
The russian baltic fleet sailing all the way to Japan just to get utterly shrecked was a blunder of similar magnitude.
>>6757
Bad Weather really isn't a BTFO, bad weather is a real problem. If anything Kublai was just an idiot by rushing ship construction. The Spanish Armada was also fucked over by weather too.
>>6757
>When the Sui troops were halfway across the river, Eulji opened the dam and the onslaught of water drowned thousands of Sui soldiers. The Goguryeo cavalry then charged the remaining Sui forces.
>The surviving Sui troops were forced to retreat at a breakneck pace to the Liaodong Peninsula to avoid being killed. This led to an overall campaign loss of all but 2,800 Sui troops out of 350,000 men,[2][4] The Battle of Salsu is listed among the most lethal "classical formation" battles in world history.
>>6925
You would think after getting his entire navy wiped out by a storm he would have taken safer measures next time. It's not like Japan was gonna go anywhere.
But I don't really know if the mongolians were ever able to into ship construction.
>>7057
They were, actually, in five years they managed to build a navy that defeated the Southern Song Navy, which had successfully fended off the Jin for decades. Then again, a brown-water navy doesn't require as much training as a blue-water navy, and Kublai rushed both the Korean and Chinese shipyards.
he got btfo by the viets even harder
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_B%E1%BA%A1ch_%C4%90%E1%BA%B1ng_(1288)
>invaded vietnam twice
>both times viets use scorched earth tactics and the mongols were forced to retreat despite winning every battle
>third time he builds a fuckhuge fleet so the army can be supplied by sea
>fleet sees a small viet naval force and moves to engage it
>chases it up a river just as the tide is ebbing
>viets had pounded metal stakes into the riverbed which all the mongol ships get stuck on
>viets use fire arrows to destroy the entire fleet
>mongol army forced to retreat since they're cut off from supplies, harassed by viets the whole way back to China
>Kublai Khan so mad about it he had the commander of the invasion who was one of his sons executed for it
>>6757
One of my favorite stories of history.
I also loved Yi Sun-sin's constant BTFOing of the Japs
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/French_Revolutionary_Wars
>be french peasant
>beat the world
a personal favorite BTFO of mine
seriously, how the fuck do you fail this hard?
>>7285
it is pretty amazing
>The Seven Years' War and American Revolutions, as draining as they were to British coffers, were also costly for the ancien régime of France. Their participation in the American Revolution alone, for instance, had cost over one billion livres, all paid for by high-interest loans. Though Louis XVI had attempted Enlightenment-era reforms, such as the abolition of serfdom and tolerance towards non-Catholics, in the end it seemed that every reform he offered just fueled the popular desire for more. On July 14, 1789, these increasing resentments boiled over and the Bastille was stormed.
>After seeing the American example, and now the French crisis, the monarchs of Europe did not take this republican threat idly. Once the nascent Republic declared war against the Bourbon Emperor of Austria, and the imprisoned French monarch Louis and his wife, Marie Antoinette, were executed by guillotine they closed ranks. This became known as the War of the First Coalition. But the coalition fell apart, and France's victory in the war stunned the world.
>By the turn of the century a daring officer would rise through the republican ranks following his campaigns in Italy and Egypt. This man, Napoleon Bonaparte, would transform the frail Republic into a powerful and terrifying Empire.
>>6757
Dumbass got mongols mixed up with chinese. Of course they got their arse kicked when their army was 70% chinese conscripts.
>>7392
Don't be racist, /pol/
>>7392
that was not the reason for his failure, not even close
>>7392
>The Chinese
>The strongest naval power in the region
The problem was that he tried to make the crossing across open sea in riverboats instead of letting the Koreans and Chinese build actual seaworthy ships.
>>7414
Its not racist. Mongols alive at the time were born in the saddle campaigning, who had just spent the past 70 years conquering everything from the Ukraine to Korea. The Chinese were conscripts at a historical low.
Any of genghis' sons where leading that expedition it would have been successful
>>7725
Anon we are all the same. There is no difference between the chinese or the mongols.
>>7725
I'm sure those men born on the saddle who have probably never stood on a boat in open sea before are going to have performed so much better on poorly built boats than the former Southern Song Chinese, whose existence for over a century had been completely dependent on maintaining a working and competent navy.
Horse archery and spies can't stop hurricanes.
Marcus Licinius Crassus
Khwarezmian Empire
All the Roman keks who paid off Attila
>>6911
For anyone unaware of just how kekworthy this story is, just read this.
>>7202
>the mongols were forced to retreat despite winning every battle
I need to read up on this entire war.
How did the Mongols do so badly after Ghengis?
>Spread your genes everywhere
>Still no successor who can hold a candle to you
>>6757
>>8387
You should read Genghis Kahn and the Making of the Modern World by Jack Weatherford. It's a good read
>>8550
I'm still fucking mad over how the Brits handled Singapore
Absolute tragedy
Operation Fork was awkward as fuck for everyone involved.
>>8387
While the Mongols were theoretically capable of taking most cities due to a mix of Persian and Chinese artillery, these were difficult to move around, unlikely to survive long treks through Central Asia or disease ridden forests. The Mongols gave up on eastern Europe not because they weren't capable of taking down all those castles or beating the Poles, Hungarian and Holy Roman knights who fought them, but because an extended siege is not economically viable and it was so much easier just to pillage the farmland and rape the people that didn't require chinese cannon to get to.
>>8313
And the hilarity doesn't even stop there, here's even more shit that happened.
>Ctrl + F "cannae"
>0 results
Battle of Cannae, also funny how Hannibal got keked and had to go back to Carthage despite being so close to Rome
>>8550
While incompetent, this is massively fucked up because, as WW2 went on and supplies dwindled, the japanese started to cannibalize their Prisoners of War so those 80,000 captured dudes met a pretty shitty end.
>>8945
>ctrl+F carrhae
>0 results
Romans really had a problem with Ca**ae places
>>8945
>5000 Carthaginians dead
>55,000 Romans Dead at the very least
holy fucking shit, Hannibal was a beast.
>>9138
>[citation needed]
>>9285
Circa 100 and they're not sure of the real number, but the romans did get absolutely BTFO in this battle, losing 2 entire legions
>>9455
They also lost like three legionary standards, a huge blow to Roman pride.
Battle of Al-Mansurah
>>9138
I feel bad for Crassus
>>6757
Honestly ain-Jalut was a much better BTFO moment for the mongols
> mongols defeat the kipchaks in russia
> sell captured warriors as slaves
> kipchak warriors sold to Egyptian sultan
> kipchaks overthrow sultan and create the mameluke sultanate
> hand mongols their first land defeat ever and get revenge in the process
Based Kipchaks
Posting another roman BTFO moment
>3 legions annihilated
>>7498
This, glad some /his/torians know what they're talking about.
My favorite BTFO
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Zama
>>10132
How can you lose this hard with elephants? How does a Roman even go about killing an elephant?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anglo-Zanzibar_War
I love some of the shit the British did (like getting Chinese addicted to opium, or giving Turks cigarettes laced with opium) but this is my favourite.
first emu war
>>10485
>Scipio ordered the cavalry to blow loud horns to frighten the beasts, which partly succeeded, and several rampaging elephants turned towards the Carthaginian left wing and disordered it completely. Seizing this opportunity, Masinissa led his Numidian cavalry and charged at the Carthaginian left wing, which was also composed of Numidian cavalry, and was unknowingly lured off the field. Meanwhile, the rest of the elephants were carefully lured through the lanes and taken to the rear of the Roman army, where they were dealt with.
The best
>>10728
pls don't bring that up it's very triggering for the kangaroo fuckers
>>10485
Just like in LOTR
>>10994
Especially after losing the world cup today.
Aussies will never escape the banter.
>>6757
that one time where niggers were btfo'd by based white colonists
>>11336
>Aussies will never escape the banter.
I don't think they've ever tried to escape it. I mean, they haven't even tried to escape the venomous spider infested continent they were banished to.
>>11392
I'm pretty sure the average aussie has more spider venom in his body then he does blood.
>>6757
Same exact thing oddly enough. I kek'd so hard when I read about this.
>>11392
>Implying the emu's would let them escape
>Not realizing it's just a continental Aushwitz at this point
Why do you think they only ever had people arriving on boats?
>>10993
praise scipio
>>10132
>>10485
despite the casualty list (which was mainly from running down the defeated army) Zama was pretty close fought, with neither the Roman or Carthaginian able to gain a real advantage.
it was won by cavalry. which was in heavy part due to Rome's recent acquisition of Numidian allies.
In many ways, Zama was the result of skilled Roman diplomacy rather than anything else
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Siege_of_Szigetv%C3%A1r
fuck turks
>>14097
>fuck turks
I know that feel. Both literally and figuratively.
