What historical nation/state/army do you wish you could have been a part of?
Pic related
Achaemenid or Roman Empire under the five good Emperors. For armies though, Prussia for sure.
>>450927
American Army during the early 1900's.
mostly cause Krag-Jorgensons are hella sexy
Imagine being the Roman soldier who drilled the nails into the hands of Jesus.
I wonder how much he is burning in hell right now
>>451039
No more than anyone else who went to hell would.
>>451039
Longinus?
Naw, He reformed and became a saint.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saint_Longinus
>>451062
>Catholics
Into the trash
>>451062
He stabbed Jesus with a spear
>Christian legend has it that Longinus was a blind Roman centurion who thrust the spear into Christ’s side at the crucifixion. Some of Jesus’s blood fell upon his eyes and he was healed. Upon this miracle Longinus believed in Jesus
>>450927
Yes Macedonia sounds great, such a vast draft of troops that your country never recovered from battle losses all over Asia
>would still do it for the various eastern Qt's you'd get to root along the way
>I will never live in A-H
>you weren't there
>>450927
No matter what you think of the whole movie that had to be one of the best depictions of a massive ancient battle in movies.
>>452415
>he was blind and he managed to stab him with a spear
>come on Longinius you will do it!
>a little bit further right
>no-no a little bit lower
>okay now stab
>that was his knee you fucktard
>>451039
Nah, they're not
>"Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing."
![60537d5472d0a0971f4c50cc85928a79[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/95DGGhw.jpg "60537d5472d0a0971f4c50cc85928a79[1].jpg")
>>450927
Mongol of course. I would shoot arrows, ride horses like a boss, kill and rape a lot. And the Mongols under Genghis Khan were always outnumbered but always won.
And if I was slain while visiting some random city, my mongol bros would come to massacre the whole town to revenge.
>>450927
Janissaries during Ottoman Empire's rise period.
Basically most qualified army around at their time, and cool hats. Also there is a chance to become a high end diplomat and stuff.
My ancestors one. I'd even be a slave just so I could see how the people who gave me life acted like in their day to day life.
Uskoci.
>>452514
Seconded.
All things concidered, being a Janissary is the best position a slave could hope for. Didn't they eventually gain more prestige than native Ottoman soldiers?
>>452587
They were the elite from the beginning. The corps deteriorated when they started accepting Turks. Sipahis were more like bulk of the army, regional soldiers.
As for the slavery part, it's a paid slavery position + pension after retirement. I think it's pretty okay for other types of slavery that existed around the world.
But the story ends pretty sadly. Their military power diminished, their relative power in the empire prevented sultan from modernizing the corps. In a way every government position except local rulers and sultan were occupied by someone from devshirmah system how can you remove a group like that from power.
HRE under Charles V
>>451036
》你会从不劫掠北京
>>452667
>Charles V
REEEEEEEEE HOW DARE YOU SACK ROME
>>451062
>I killed Jesus
fucking based
KNIGHTS OF THE MOTHERFUCK MALTA
>Bulgarian/Thracian army
>you're a god on horseback
>you can shoot a bow with pinpoint accuracy while on the horse
>all the drinking from skulls and tri moreta
I'll take it
>>452478
>>452727
Every legion tried to recruit a unit of vetreans, soilders and officers who had served 20/25 years depending on year, they had special privilges and duties so it shouldn't be so strange if they rehired Longinus becuse he had been a good soilder or had some other special trait he could assist with.
>>452821
No the
Janissaries where never castraded, but they had enuch supervisors and teachers when they where younger, i think you are thinking about the harmen guards they where castraded in a way the cut of both the sack and penis
>>452821
No they weren't usually. They were forbidden to marry though, for most of the time they existed. This requirement was relaxed later on and one of the reasons they deteriorated as they became more civilian than soldier slave.
Although I'm not so sure about zuluflu baltacilar (literally axemen with sidelocks, sidelocks symbolize that they can enter harem as far as I know) which were guards of harem quarters. They probably were. Nevertheless, eunuchs also did well in the empire, so still some opportunities.
Nelsons Navy, before people harp on about disease you were less likely to get sick than anybody else in the period. The sea calls to me.
Red Army commissar orkilling NKVD some faggot nazis
>>450927
Same here. Just because I find the idea of conquering unknown lands fascinating
>>452667
just say germany
>>452587
>a fucking ship in your hat
>>453707
>meme
Charles V's soldiers would have potentially been a variety of ethnicities. His empire was real.
>>452514
>cool hats
Sure mate
>>451065
>being this much of a heretic
Is such a thing even possible?
>>452667
>Imperio
>Español
>>453220
"No man will be a sailor who has contrivance enough to get himself into a jail; for being in a ship is being in a jail, with the chance of being drowned... a man in a jail has more room, better food, and commonly better company."
>>453281
>killing nazis
>fucking their wives and daughters
>seen as a hero
there was never a more based army in the history of the world, than the red army.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Iu0pvZP-dM
>>453827
>yfw almost the entirety of the 1941 Red Army was ded by 1944
>>450927
The Old Guard of Napoleon.
>tfw you will never fight every army under the sun and defeat them for your emperor
>tfw you will never witness the second coming
>>453707
>Spain
>Milan
>Sicily
>Naples
>The low countires
>The new world
Don't be a dummy
>>450927
>>452455
>tfw you will never fight alongside Alexander III
>tfw you will never defeat the unwashed hordes of barbarians
>tfw you will never get rich as shit and fuck all the qt girls and traps in Babylon
>tfw you will never march to the end of the earth and almost die in an insane battle with elephants
>tfw you will never mutiny then feel bad cos your king almost dies soon after
>tfw you will never see him acknowledge you, unable to talk, as he lies sick and dying
>tfw you will never see it all fall apart, the greatest empire the world had ever known
>>453821
>better food
British sailors ate better and had a larger calorie intake than most civilians and other military personnel. Not to mention having some of the best doctors because they were payed more than land based doctors.
http://www.thedearsurprise.com/diet-and-food-quality-in-aubreys-royal-navy/
>>453788
Man, hats are the most important thing since the Roman Empire. And Ottoman Empire went crazy over hats, you might want to read about that. Some even had their hats carved on their tombstones.
Also I find the story of a religious leader blessing corps and corps symbolizing his sleeve as a hat story rather fascinating. For these reasons I believe they were pretty cool in a different way.
Although I'm not sure, I just like reading about Ottoman Empire, it is probably the weirdest empire, and fascinating to read about.
>>453707
Voltaire was really an aristocratic Perez Hilton
>>451036
>Going into the based Spanish American War
>Spend a few months fucking cuban whores and killing spanish
I would like to be a conquistador to fuck natives qts or a soldier of a tercio. Being a Mongol warrior would be great too.
Army of Northern Virginia
Even knowing that I have a 1/4 chance of dying of disease or an amputation gone wrong, and almost a 100% chance of getting wounded, and that we would eventually loose, I would still do it.
I can't even imagine what it would be like to fight for 4 years, against an enemy double our size, and win almost every battle just to loose the war.
It would be something to see.
I actually would like to be a landed sipahi during the early 16th century ottoman empire. Lording over some cozy greek village, marrying a local qt and training horse archery and horseback combat during peacetime and steamrolling austrians and persians during wartime.
Revolutionary Insurrectionary Army of Ukraine
>>454046
The most important thing to a janissary regiment was their cauldron of honor wherein the whole regiments food was cooked in this cauldron was even more important than a regiment's battle standard , this actually shows how important food was to the ottomans.
I wish I was myself 8 months ago so I could undo some of the mistakes I have made.
>>453827
>killing nazis
>fucking their wives and daughters
>seen as a hero
you forgot one thing
>filled with slant-eyed steppe hordes and children to replace the dead russian men
>>452478
>>450927
>>451036
Damn right
Rhodesian Light Infantry
>>453827
didn't the red army literally lose millions of men fighting the germans? i mean, fuck, 650,000 were taken prisoner in kiev alone...
i'd probably want to be on themistocles' trireme at the battle of salamis or in the hoplite army at marathon if i cared most about historical significance, with paulinus crushing boudicca if i cared about indiscriminate slaughter, or i guess with pizarro for the money
>>452882
>rehired a blind man
Just get the fuck out. Every single fucking soldiers served with the infantry-even the smiths and medics-without regard to their special skills, and centurions fought OUTSIDE the formation and up front.
He wasn't blind. Because he likely wasn't real.
Roman legionaire under hadrian son, that shit was ca$h. Other then that a british officer in the 1800s.
>>450927
Serving under Sigurd I during the Norwegian Crusade, such an amazing adventure.
Alternatively, under Lettow-Vorbeck during WWI.
Sycthians
first horse archers to fuck up the world.
smokd w33dd 420
rape qt middle-eastern qts
Conquering new territory with the British navy would have been baller.
>>455406
objectively the sexiest american armed forces uniform, aside from based woodland and coco chip mix.
>tfw you'll never hold a sword and charge into Fatmid lines
>tfw you'll never shout "DEUS VALT" while riding into Antioch
>tfw you'll never get to be the army who captured Jerusalem for the church
>>456088
>the first 10 minutes of 'Season of the Witch'
Fuck you faggots.
You say you wish you were in the frontlines but you can't even have the courage to talk to a girl without sweating. Hahaha, all faggots.
>>456104
This.
I'll settle being the TV operator of an AC-130 in Somalia.
>>456104
This is /his/, not /b/. /his/ isn't known for taking the bait...
Which army produced the most rape children?
Probably an Spanish conquistador, all the gold, new things to see, all the native to fuck and cool as fuck swords to use.
>>456011
>Just get the fuck out. Every single fucking soldiers served with the infantry-even the smiths and medics-without regard to their special skills, and centurions fought OUTSIDE the formation and up front
you dont say, what i ment is that he could have been hired as a retainer or servant to a comander becuse for all we know he could have been a smart man and was valued for adviceses etc,etc, considering he is blind he sure as fuck aint gonna stand in a battle line
>>456531
Hunnic probably
>>450927
There is only one logical choice.
>You will never defend Constantinopole from the Kebab
I wish I could've been an Abrams tank crew member during desert storm
>that kickass late 80s soundtrack
>removing kebab by rolling over them with your tank treads
>those burning oil fields in the background
>the pedo mustaches
>You will never be a 19th century British traveller and go on an antartctic expedition with Carsten Borchgrevink
>>455555
>you will never win the war but end up losing because the world is against you
>tfw you will never drink the blood of your enemies
>tfw no Amazonian gf
The original Slavic barbarians
>you'll never have a cool helmet
>>451039
British officer serving in India or Africa during the 19th century
Literally calling everyone peasants :^)
>>450927
US Marines during the Gulf War since the chances of dying are lo as fuck because the airstrikes would kill the Iraqis for you.
Modern Swiss Army
Wish I could've been in the nazi vermacht from 1938-1942
>>453878
Same feeling here
>>452415
Fun fact: stabbing a crucified man in the abdomen is actually considered a mercy, because it relieves intervisceral pressure incurred by the asphyxiation process and hastens their torturous death.
>>450927
Achaemenid Persia, Kingdom of Franks (under Charlemagne), Kingdom of Hungary (high medieval period), Sicily (Hohenstaufens), Florence (gotta watch out for the plague and syphillis), Venice, Swedish Empire, Austrian Empire/Austria-Hungary, Prussian Kingdom, Imperial Germany
>>452487
>kill and rape a lot
Why would it matter if your dick is 3" long?
I can just imagine it now....
>sack some Slavic city
>kill all men
>find some qt Slavic girl to rape
>put benis in..
>she starts laughing
>raping her harder and harder, her laughing only intensifies
Maybe this is why the Mongols initially went on a giant rape and murder spree, their pent up rage about having tiny dicks.
>>458997
Top fucking kek.
>>454130
>Dying of dysentery en masse in some god-awful camp in Florida after eating embalmbed beef
>>450927
The early dacian state under Burebista. If Burebista could be convinced to not interfere in roman politics, some serious nation building could have happened.
>>458997
>Eastern Europe DNA is strongly composed by far eastern genes
>>458997
lol buttmad Chinese detected
>mulan pls go
>>452514
>>452587
good choice lads
>>455555
quints of 5 for truth
>>459023
>strongly composed
>Amongoloid admixture(1.5%) was revealed in the form of mtDNA types ofmacrohaplogroup M. Comparative analysis of the mtDNA haplogroup frequency distribution patterns in six Russian populations from the European part of Russia indicated the absence of substantial genetic differences between them.
>It's interesting to know that Mongolian also carry 14.3% caucasian mtDNA 7% Caucasian Y-DNA and most of them are R1a
>>454773
It's lose, not loose.
>You will never overthrow a corpulent regime of weak-minded aristocrats
>You will never march proudly beside your countrymen in Le Grande Armee
>You will never witness the glory of a cavalry charge or the thunder of cannonades
>You will never gaze up Caesar reborn as he stands defiant against all the monarchs of Europa
>You will never watch a man become of legend before your eyes
>[spoiler]You will never warm your emperor's beside while he whispers stratagems softly in your ears[/spoiler]
truly life is suffering
>>458997
This is the first time this board has made me laugh. Thank you, anon.
Tercio
>>458355
>tfw larping is too autistic even for me
>tfw you will never be a conquistador and explore entire continents, taste new foods, see new sights and fuck native qts because they thought you are a God
>>459275
S-space, the final frontier, anon :c
>>450927
nah
>>450927
>You were born too late to be a priestess of Bast
Feels bad.
>>459276
Not in our life time desu ;___;
>you will never wash your friend's brains off your coat after he gets his head blown off by a German sniper
>you will never watch as your comrades get gunned down by German machine gunners
>you will never get your legs blown off by a landmine
>you will never live in a wheelchair for the rest of your life
>you will never return home with PTSD and get shot for cowardice
>you will never be a British soldier during the First Patriotic War
Life is suffering
>>457041
Odds are he didn't exist or if he did he wasn't blind.
>yfw he was able to see until he got Jesus' blood on him causing him to get sick and lose his sight because blood is nasty
>>459302
>Bast is the Goddess of music, dance, and the arts. The priestesses of Bast were known for their erotic dance ritual, as part of the introduction of Bes worship and belly dancing into New Kingdom culture.
T H E B E S
H
E
B
E
S
>ctrl+f
>no Rashidun army
This is the one true answer. You would enjoy an endless string of miraculous victories against the two strongest empires on your side of the himalayas. You would feel pumped as fuck knowing Allah is behind you basically every step of the way. Sure you can't drink but who gives a shit when you've got tons of nubile Persian and Byzantine sex slaves because that shit was totally halal!
>>450927
Ride into battle by the side of William I of Normandy, and watch as he casts down the broken Harold at the Battle of Hastings.
Then get rewarded for my loyalty with gold and land, establish a new noble line. If a god came down and offered me the chance to go back, and promised I would suffer from no disease, it would be a hard offer to turn down.
I would gladly have served under a megalomaniacal Buddhist Russian white army officer who thought he was the reincarnation of Genghis Khan and try to establish a new Khanate with the blessings of the Dalai Lama.
Golden Age Greece
I like staying fit and lifting weights
I like debating and learning
the Med climate sounds like a dream
the only problem is, the past is obviously not as cozy or comfortable as today is, but if I had to pick a historic era to go back to this would probably be it
to that effect, I would prefer Athenian society over Spartan society
US Army of Occupation Japan.
Hanging around in a country that might as well have been Mars compared to the United States. Marry a Japanese qt raised in a basically medieval mindset. Take her home to the United States and raise a huge family on a factory job.
Probably a knight in the First Crusade. Killing heretic heathen Muslims
>>458365
>segmentata
>30 AD
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
besides the soldiers in Judea were probably auxiliaries
>>450927
I would love to have fought with my König
>>460177
You want to eat literal human ass? Go for it.
3rd Crusade is for me.
>>460253
Good luck failing m8
>>460268
Do 2 minutes of research on the 3rd crusade's wikipedia article before you make such an uneducated remark
>>460274
I meant at Jerusalem, you cock
>>459302
>you were born too soon to be an Egyptian slave fantasizing about a qt priestess
>>458974
Yes i read that in a book about Spartacus
