>tfw ywn be a duke of some Mediterranean island during medieval times
Wouldnt I have to fight muslims then?
Not that I wont have to do that soon anyway once the world collapses
>ywn blast mujahideen from a Hind wile playing Кинo during the 80's Afghan war
How many mediterranean Islands had Dukes, other than Sicily for a little time?
>>1424457
>You'll never ride truly free through the steppes
>You'll never hear the wind while staring into the vastness of the world that is to be conquered
>You'll never feel your hair waving while galloping for miles on end
>You'll never help in the creation of the greatest land Empire
>You'll never learn how to shoot arrows from horseback
>You'll never have your own family traveling with you at the steppes
>You'll never be curious about the mysteries of the west or the riches that are to be looted in the east and south
>You'll never be a Mongol...
>ywn be a Phoenician merchant sailing through the Mediterranean with your merchant buddies
>tfw ywn parade through the streets of Rome with the fantastic spoils of your successful military campaign on display for the glory of the Senate and People of Rome
>>1424457
>duke of a Mediterranean island during medieval times
>bunch of Saracens turn up and take turns raping my wife and branding my skin before drawing and quartering me
>all my children sold into slavery in some pit in Jazira
>>1424642
They wouldn't treat nobility like that you idiot
>ywn be a knight in western europe during the high middle ages
>>1424507
king, duke, count whatever
>>1424457
I'm going to hit you romaboos with the toughest feel
>ywn save rome from its fall
>>1424876
It only fell because the Greek part cucked the Roman part
>>1424457
What gave you that feel?
>ywn be a player in the Great Game
>ywn explore British India and Central Asia in disguise in order to map out territory
>ywn fear for your life as you face a raging local warlord and try and convince him of the evils of the Russians
>ywn hand pick and train Indians to become pandits
>ywn feel lonely as you look on at the beauty of the Pamirs, Hindu Kush, and Himalayas, with only your native mercenaries to keep you company
>ywn die somewhere high up in those cold mountains, with a small grave along the road serving as a warning for other foolish travelers
>>1425033
Forgot pic
>>1425033
i know that feel
>ywn be an aristocratic cavalry officer in the british indian army
>ywn charge pathan mudslimes with your Sikh bros
>>1425051
True toffs went to Malta, Cyprus and the Ionian where the likelihood of seeing any action was pretty low and they got to play polo and cricket all day.
>>1425033
>not being a Russian colonizer and slaughtering the absolute shit out of the islamic heathens
>>1425032
Ck2 autism and I went to Majorca this summer and it was beautiful
>you will never be a Japanese fisherman in the 1400s who is blown off course and lands in North America
>you will never spend the rest of your life exploring truly alien lands as the hospitable natives take you in and show you their world
>>1424587
>>1424612
Right in the feels
>>1424507
You could be a Byzantine administrator or tagmatic governor in the Aegean, for one.
>>1424612
You could technically do this still today.
>It asbolutely sucks, btw, because working in ships from the bottom up literally assigns you FROM THE BOTTOM UP, like some engine monkey or maintenance person from below decks that spends whole months down there, with noisy machines.
>+points for factory ship horror stories.
>ywn meet with Alfred The Great and help remove the dane
>ywn be a English/Welsh longbowman at Agincourt
>tfw ywn be a bull minotaur in mythology
end me
> you will never get sucked through a time portal to 13th century china and join the court of kublai khan using your knowledge from the future to serve his empire and to tell him of your world
goddamn Marco Polo is a good show
Even the kung fu bullshit at least looks very cool
>ywn be a greco-roman mystic-scholar losing yourself in the monumental knowledge of the Library of Alexandria
>ywn learn the secret of secrets
>ywn partake in the original Rites of Eleusis
>ywn revel in a Venusian orgy
>ywn slam delicious catamite boipucci
why live?
>>1424587
>ywn travel across the Silk and Tea roads from East to West
>ywn see the ancient cities at the height of their power
>ywn see the Russian Empire expand across Central Asia
>ywn be the first adventurer to a newly discovered land
>ywn be a Bolshevik during the Russian Civil War, plundering the homes of the wealthy parasites who gorged themselves on the misfortunes and suffering of the country
>ywn enter an Orthodox Church with hammers to strike down the mosaics and break the windows and to gather the gold and silver to melt down for practical uses while re-purposing the useless "house of God" into something that can actually be of use to the people
>>1424483
that was a complete shitshow be glad you did not have to do that
> ywn be a venetian merchant, trading and sometimes fighting with the turks
> ywn be a spanish conquistador, travelling from land to land, selling spices for gold and fucking the indigenous women
> ywn give the plague to the americans and forcely teach them your language and the teaching of Christ
>>1426276
but the aesthetics
>you will never be a Roman optimate
>you will never live in conspicuous opulence and have your every need attended by young boys who you bugger at every opportunity
>you will never vote to deny the plebs representation and then go out drinking with your friends to celebrate
Ruling a Mediterranean island sounds great, but that seems like the worst possible time period.
>>1426837
Marry me?
>>1424587
>i unironically feel this feel
>>1426159
>ywn starve with your entire family in Ukraine as the government tries to "help" by setting up artificial famines that serve as ethnic cleansing
>>1424457
>you'll never liberate Egypt with the Grande Armee and blanda up with the mamluks' former harems and their thick dark skin servant ladies
inb4 filename
>talk to a girl on omegle video
>she's into philosophy and literature
>i had to go out
Oh well.
Esoteric girls are the best.
>ywn help diogenes troll the fuck out of plato
>>1426159
You'll never be a member of a Freikorp in the Baltics you and your buddies down the street formed after the Great War to fight back the communist menace and protect the only homeland you've known since the Teutonic knights created beacons of Germanness in a heart of Orthodox and Byzantine darkness.
>ywn be a simple farmer in a Germanic tribe
>ywn learn fighting from an early age wrestling with your brothers and friends
>ywn take up arms as a young man to prove your valor to the gods and a qt germanic wife
>ywn retire with your scars and spoils of war to a productive farmstead where you can teach your boys to be fine strong men and your daughters to be caring and graceful women
kill me
>ywn stand side by side with Mилoш and Prince Лaзap at Kosovo field
>ywn be a part of Serbian literature that inspired Gavrilo Princip to kill the Austrian aggressor
Why live?
>>1427694
calm down Varg, it's ok
>ywn stand by the impaler side as he impale thousands or criminals and Turks
>ywn go with to protect the homeland of Europe
>ywn be there to see Stefan the great help his cousin vlad kill the ottoman menace
>>1424457
>ywn be Brian Boru and BTFO snowniggers, cleansing your homeland of foreign filth as the last High King
>>1427694
>ywn learn fighting from an early age, wrestling with your brothers and friends
You didn't do this?
Ill fight you anon ;_;
>you will never discuss history on 4chan
>>1429194
/thread
>>1424507
Sardinia had judges
>>1424457
>you will never be a poor commoner peasant who moves to the New World in search of riches and glory
>you will never actually obtain said riches and glory, cementing yourself as the greatest member of your family line that ever lived
