Whenever someone wrongs you all the self-help/self-improvement books and gurus tell that you should "let it go" and don't let it consume you.
But if I let it go doesn't that mean the guy who wronged me ultimately wins?
>>1419829
no
people with the competence to exploit others also have the competence to get better returns from something less destructive. the ones that bother you are the ones who are short-sighted and optimistic about their own ability.
they'll self-destruct and you win by not getting involved.
there are also more direct mechanisms that have to do with society basically liking conformity. the less you are like a hostile person the more the other stands out.
>>1419829
wins what
>>1419870
>So I should just assume the person will keep wronging other people and will make a mistake along the way?
no, you should make an effort to understand the situation and see that that is where it's going.
>>1419870
>and you feel shitty for the rest of the day.
Letting it go prevents that
>>1419879
What if the guy is smart about it - he only wrongs people who are clearly inferior to him while maintaining social etiquette among his peers and superiors.
>>1419890
you misunderstand entirely.
wrongs do not lead to self-destruction. wrongs are motivated by the same things as self-destruction.
>>1419901
>wrongs are motivated by the same things as self-destruction
Dude are you disconnected from reality? There are numerous examples of people who wronged others and live nice lives.
>>1419910
that's really a perspective question.
>>1419870
The point of leting it go is to not feel shitty. If you feel like shit you're not letting it go.
>>1419916
You may not feel shitty but you are encouraging exploiters with your spineless reaction.
No, you win in the end. Arseholes are everywhere, if you don't stoop their level then you are the better man.
Of course its not a flat rule, if someone steals from you, do something. It's more about people being petty vindictive pricks.
Letting go is one option. The other is to get the better of them. Whatever will give you peace of mind so no ressentiment.
>>1419918
That's another matter entirely, I was just explaining why your approach there was wrong.
To be honest I never understood that 'turn the other cheek' behaviour. You can both remain unoffended and slap the cheeky cunt for talking shit, and I'll say it's the best to avoid further bullying from him and others. If you can't slap him literally do it symbolically.
>>1419829
Forgiveness is a spiritual death few ever recover from. They cast away their soul for a few moments rest.
>>1419829
He will win in that situation, but the next step is finding other people who sympathize with you and beating the shit out of him
>>1419829
Don't hold onto poison.
Give it to your enemies.
>>1419829
Worry less about the other guy and more about you.
Very few people will concede a defeat they're not forced into and many of those would seek revenge for the perceived wrong.
Pursuing justice for an actual crime. But a petty grievance? Just move on with your life.
The point of letting something go is to not let it bother you more than is useful to you.
Someone "wrongs" you. Unless it is something that is a lasting impediment, financial or continued emotional abuse, it will only harm you as much as you let it. He throws a hit coal at you. Would you rather drop the coal or do you hold onto it, hoping you might throw it back someday?
Not necessarily,
you prove how insignificant his petty little act is by ignoring him, by ignoring him you deem him irrelevant.
>>1420010
Nothing wrong with returning hot coals.
