You are about to be executed by a tyrannical despot, who in his infinite mercy has allowed you to decide the method of execution. If you say "natural causes" or "old age" you get roasted alive in the bronze bull. What do you choose?
>>1065048
Beheading.
Beheading or drowning are generally considered the easiest ways to go senpai
That or getting tossed off a huge sheer cliff. You'd die pretty much instantly and the adrenaline rush would be pretty cool
The guillotine of course.
>>1065056
Greatest execution method ever. A good way to die
>>1065054
You could also land on your legs/ass and die horribly.
Death by snu snu
>>1065048
Overdose.
>>1065048
Get piss-drunk at a banquet and pass out in the middle of the most beautiful women in the country, then I'll die of intoxication or choke on my own vomit in my sleep, or he could behead me, whatever.
>>1065054
You ever jump off a large cliff into water? It's pretty uncomfortable. Your stomach drops and you often lose your breath the entire way down. I wouldn't want to die that way. Would rather take my last breath of fresh air peacefully.
>>1065062
If it's high enough wouldn't the force cause your body to basically explode on impact no matter where you landed?
Not sure desu. Don't know much about physics
Chased off a cliff by a mob of naked women
>>1065081
Why would you run away from naked women?
>>1065086
he was referencing to this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MLctf4o6feQ
I want to sit on a barrel of gunpowder as it goes off, should be an instant death.
Sentenced to free meals for life.
>>1065048
Sentence me to die in battle.
He would imprison me of course for quite a while, and when the time comes he sends me into the enemy charging into them by myself alone.
It could go either I getting killed or captured.
If I get captured and try to get out by saying what happened they might not believe so I could probably die.
There's a very small chance that I could live, but a small chance is quite enough.
>>1065121
That reminds me of this really Alpha means of execution that the Aztecs used for some of their prisoners. They would tie the prisoner's foot to a stake in the ground so he can't go very far, give him a weapon, and then send in their elite warriors in turn, to fight him 1v1. Even if he defeated the warriors they would keep coming one by one until finally the prisoner was slain. But the cool thing was that they gave him the chance to fight back.
Swiftly flayed from head to foot and tossed into a giant urn of lemonade that was made with salt instead of sugar.
>>1065048
I want to be blown up along with the planet on a death-star like device.
>>1065056
Supposedly it killed people so fast that for a few seconds they were still alive and aware. Perhaps unintentionally the most horrific form of capital punishment ever.
to expire laughing myself to death, natch
jump off an extremely tall cliff or building.
if nothing tall enough for my liking is nearby enough for the execution to be carried out, then beheading with guillotine.
>>1065162
A famous Greek stoic laughed himself to death while drunk and watching his donkey try to eat figs.
>>1065162
To be smothered by god tier TITS.
heroin overdose maybe?
if he was extrememly accomdating then you could say "heroin overdose while having your dick sucked by 3 of the most beautiful women in the country"
or "being allowed to cum inside as many women as I can until I die of starvation"
but assuming he only allows somewhat sesible methods of dying then opium/heroin overdose
>>1065156
>people were killed so fast they stayed alive
Firing squad, unblindfolded, while sstanding
>>1065056
I don't understand why it is not used in the United States
>>1066502
You're joking right? Probably because people are alive for even seconds after their heads are off. Or because we value things like death ceremonies and when a person's head is chopped off it ruins those things greatly.
>>1065054
Isn't drowning uncomfy as fuck? The whole water in lungs thing
"Just fuck my shit up familia"
Single combat vs the despot. Unless he a bitch!
Hanging or guillotine
>>1065065
I was looking for this.
>>1065048
Heroin overdose
>>1065133
That's some serious self loathing there anon
>>1066566
Me too. I was wondering how it would be in practice.
Certainly skin would chaffe and bones might break after enough pressure
The penis would have to be made hard enough to sustain several rounds of intercourse
>>1066568
I'll second this
Dying from being passed out and either choking on your vomit or your lungs simply stopping, after having the orgasmic opiod high, seems like a good way to go.
Ask his strongest fighter to combat me in a single duel. I will most likely die but atleast I won't die a coward.
>>1065048
CO2 Poisoning while I sleep familia.
In a sealed room with candles and a warm bed.
>>1065048
Gladius through the shoulder down into the heart, in the royal court. Thanks.
No gladius? Give me a pair of cestus and throw me into the arena.
>>1065054
>drowning
>easiest way to go
You serious, bruv? There's a reason why they say drowning is one of the worst ways to die.
>>1066547
>Death by alimony
NO ANYTHING BUT THAT FAMILIA
>>1065102
turns out the barrel was only 1/3 full and the gunpowder was really just blackpowder. The force was still strong enough to blow your twig and berries off, and drive splinters through your legs, anus and so on. You now live out the rest of your life as a eunuch, in a wheelchair, and are forced to wear a diaper.
>>1066524
That anyone (i.e. their head) survived after guillotining is an old myth, but completely unfounded (save for one famous anecdote that is certainly untrue). The force of the blade on your neck is enough to make you pass out, and this is aided by the fact that milliseconds later it's going clean through your neck, where massive and sudden drop in blood pressure and blood loss will definitely finish you off.
>>1066534
Yes. You'd pass out fairly quickly (10-15 seconds), but you will panic the entire way as your instinct to breath and when you can't get any, your flight response to gasp and take deeper breaths only makes it physically worse. That's just the auto-response, your conscious mind will also be freaking the fuck out and struggling desperately to find a way out.
Sweet dreams, guys.
>>1066699
I can literally hold out my breath until I pass out, could do that underwater no problem, just don't take a huge swoop of air and then try to fight it and breathe in water
Endless duel. Defeat opponents until loss.
Beheading, preferably via guillotine. I just need to be sure the blade is sharp and the delivery is firm.
Alternatively, death via orgy with big-breasted, heavyset women. Smothering, hopefully, not crushing. Perhaps a lethal dose of opiates would help things along. All things said, I think the latter act (heroin-orgy), proceeded by beheading, would make for one continuous act of execution.
>>1065048
Death by sex with a harem of hot girls.
>>1065048
Die of a heart attack.
>>1066964
>Opponent(s)
pls
>>1065048
Firing squad. Since they yell "FIRE" before the act, you can be mentally prepared for the exact moment when your quick and relatively painless death begins.
>>1065048
catching aids from a train of good looking trannies
death by long and joyful life. I didn't say either of the banned phrases.
>>1066612
This anon knows whats is what. It is painless and peaceful death.
>>1065048
A free helicopter ride
>>1065048
naked girl avalanche
>>1065048
Heart Disease
Morphine overdose.
Suicide. That way it's on my terms when I want, and I can use it to die of old age.
>>1065048
Death by being his male sex slave.
Or death by his hand.
>>1065048
Defenestration
By activating an atomic bomb near him and his kingdom, if I'm going down he is going down with me
>>1065048
Breathing pure oxygen until my body shuts down.
Pretty sure that would be a first.
>>1066524
>we value things like death ceremonies and when a person's head is chopped off it ruins those things greatly.
you mean the exact opposite of this, right?
I'd want to overdose on LSD. Surely, bodily death after or during ego death would be a unique experience, plus it hasn't happened to anyone before.
Also, that much LSD would be ludicrously expensive, so at least I'd be going out like a baller.
>>1068076
>overdose on LSD
pretty choice. You could have them administer the lethal dose over a period of 24 hours, increasing over time until the break point.
>>1065130
Wasn't that in rome
Sex-induced exhaustion
a fatal heart attack from eating too much rich and fatty foods
>>1066956
You can't pass out by holding your breath. Have you ever tried it? If you want to pass out manually you have to do the whole thing where you hyperventilate between your legs and then shoot up.
>>1069129
I wish I was a seaturtle so I could breathe outta my anus.
>>1069144
You can be whatever you want anon.
>>1065054
>Drowning
>Falling from cliff
>Easy ways to die
More like terrifying. Beheading is definitely the way to go, if done with a sharp blade and enough force it is instantaneous. It horrifies me to watch videos of Islamic State executioners using small and dull blades to slowly saw off a captive's head. The guillotine really is the best way to behead someone too.
>>1069075
Lube up that tight anus, anon.
>>1069269
I can imagine that the brain works for a few seconds after the beheading.
Must be a sensational feeling to lose most of your body and only exist as a small ball.
>>1065048
Burning at the stake while saying my last words. I always liked fire in the cleansing all away form. Plus it's something that sticks with the people who watched you die.
>>1065048
strangle me with the intestines of the despot
>>1065048
Slow OD on painkillers, or snu-snu
>>1065130
But what if the prisoner who was getting executed was the greatest warrior to have ever lived? What if he would win at every attempt to execute him, until there was no one else to even come close to matching his abilities?
Would the remaining population just use another method?
>>1066502
Are you like stupid or something, do you not see George Washington right there using it??
>>1070824
Yeah, that's what others in this thread have been saying. Those few seconds of consciousness would be an incredibly bizzare set of final moments before you died.
>>1065065
this
Suicide bag
>>1065048
I would probably go out like a warrior, fighting to the death,the pain is overwhelmed by the sheer pleasure of dying like a man.
Beaten to death by a bunch of Japanese schoolgirls
>>1065048
A firing squad to stare down, of course.
Me the martyr.
>>1066577
You think too little
Even a male has two holes.
and with blades you can make more.
>>1065048
Heroin overdose is the obvious answer.
>>1065048
I obviously choose to challenge the emperor to a trial by combat
>>1065048
I choose to lead the Forlorn Hope or some other dangerous unit. Glory and the honor of being first into the breach will be mine even in death.
>>1071311
Superman only exists in fiction.
the correct answer is hypothermia
you basically lose feeling, go numb, get warm, and pass out
>>1065048
I would tell him that I am already dead.
>>1071625
Good luck beating him and his Sanctified Blade of the Winter Spirit or whatever while he permits you to have nothing but bare hands
>>1072378
>Implying supreme leaders knew how to fight or had any experience whatsoever
>>1072398
>implying you do
>implying he wouldn't cover himself in armor and utilize multiple state-of-the-art weapons while you were left literally naked and bare-handed
>>1072420
Let me at least believe that I can win, don't demoralize me from the stadium in the middle of my momentum.
>>1065173
Actually it was him watching a drunk donkey eat figs rather than him being drunk
Die to death from sexual exhaustion
>>1072746
Kek
>>1065054
>drowning
Have you seen the prestige senpai?
>>1065048
I get smothered under an enormously fat woman.
>>1065156
You worded that horribly, but you're right, the brain continues to function for a short time after being cleanly severed from the body. It's not painless by any means, but still desirable to most other methods of execution throughout history.
>>1065054
>Drowning
>Not one of the most horrifying and stressful ways to die
>>1065048
If I say roasted alive do I get to die of old age?
maroon me on an island.
>>1065056
ITGOESITGOESITGOESITGOESITGOESITGOESITGOESITGOESITGOESITGOESITGOESITGOES
I always thought hanging would be pretty comfy for the victim as well as the people who have to watch and clean up afterwards.
But since I'm from /k/ I choose firing squad by my favorite raifus.
Immolation.
>>1072970
I'd have to agree with you there.
>>1072859
GOING BACK TO TANGIER
WITH SOME JORDANS AND A SPEAR
>>1065048
Of laughter. I'm sure a king with such power could make it happen.
>>1065048
Combination of a drug overdose and cardiac arrest from a sex marathon with a harem of women
Do it how you will, just do it yourself. Someone giving out the death sentence should be the one to kill me.
>>1071554
>Dying like a man
>In combat, against your fellow species, who's only intention is to kill you for some cause history will forget
>This is the proper way to die as a man
That's one of the saddest sentences I've read.
>>1065065
>death by snu snu
>tyrant comes back with a 6'7" man who's /fit/ as fuck with a 13 inch penis
is this what you want anon?
Give me a gun and let me do it myself
I will bow before no one, besides myself and the Lord above
>>1065048
Riding a nuclear bomb being dropped over beatniks
>>1065048
Immolation while meditating. I want there to be nothing left of me but ashes, cinders and calcifications.
>>1065048
hanging
but with a 50 m rope of a bridge
migth as well die with a adrenaline rush
>>1065048
Cirrhosis of the liver, aquired by a long life of boozing.
>>1074638
>Bungie hanging.
Its going to be horrible though.
>>1065048
Just give me a gun, I'll kill myself
Sex with beautiful women, followed by eating a lunch and dinner of luxury foods, then a slow overdose of LSD
>>1065048
Drown in wine
All these peoples advocating overdose of LSD
Jésus fuck do you guys know thé dysphoric psychotic hell that would bé?.
>>1067274
>being 5 year old smart
>>1076084
Even opiates would be hell at some point.guillotine is best choice really.or self immolation cause of the awesomeness factoe
heart attack
>>1065065
/thread
>>1076084
I don't think LSD overdose is something that actually happens in humans.
There's a ridiculously wide effective range for it.
>>1078070
http://insanebraintrain.blogspot.com.au/2011/07/massive-dosing-lsd-thumbprint.html
>>1074638
Wouldn't you just rip your fucking head off when the rope goes right?
>>1078179
Tight*
>>1078096
See, still a therapeutic dose.
No direct medical problems associated with it.
>>1065048
demand that he take me to a hard to reach, tall cliff in the rocky mtns, and demand that he personally shoves me off. I would prepare my bowels, when he shoved me off, I would blast him with shit before falling to my death
I would make sure he was alone and that there wouldn't be any water nearby, so he would half to climb down to clean off
>>1065048
Bullet through the forehead, directed at an angle that will go directly through the parts of my brain that process pain and store memories. Preferably after I've finished my memoir to have posthumously published.
>>1067274
Do you think he'd care? He'd throw you in the bull regardless.
death by snu snu
>>1065048
I want to be crushed under a standard chess board. On the first square is a grain of rice, on the second is two, on the third is four, on the fourth is eight grains and so forth.
>>1065048
A glorious death in battle, fighting for the despot
Presumably I just get drafted into the military, probably as a low level grunt. Maybe I could survive enough battles to see the despot lose, and then i get away scott free (apart from possibly being a prisoner of war)
>>1066502
Because they prefer to kill their innocent by making them suffer : burning their flesh, electrifying, gassing, hanging.
Oh, and also the lethal injection WHICH IS NOT PAINFUL AT ALL.
Planet destroying bomb
Death by Snu Snu
>>1065054
>drowning
fuck off retard
>>1065048
firing squad or heroin OD depending on my mood at the time
>>1066524
Yeah because vaccination is '''''painless'''''.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Execution_of_Joseph_Wood
>>1070852
You're a moron.
>>1078096
Sounds like the poor guy completely fried his brain.
>>1078179
Either that or it snaps your neck, not matter what your going to have a few seconds of freefalling and adrenaline and then BAM, nothing
there are worse ways to die desu, also during traditional hangings people actually dont choke to death as most people think the neck snaps and you are literally dead the second they pull the leaver
>>1065093
That's it I have to start watching Monty Python.
Where do I start?
>>1082129
Holy Grail for sure
>>1065048
gloriously in the field of battle
>>1067597
enjoy having your anus ripped apart by nubian merchants
>>1065048
Gotta be good ol' CO. Cheap, painless and effective.
>>1071311
It happened. The azies were so imppressed they offered the guy his freedom, but he declined because that would shame his country. So he was sacrificed instead.
>>1074099
Oh god, please yes.
Suicide by gun with an adequate second to ensure a quick death.
>>1066699
It's not the worst way to die, you fucking nigger.
>>1065175
Isn't a heroin overdose really shitty tho? wouldn't you feel really bad before you actually blacked out?
>>1082706
From what that hooker said, I don't think Chris Farley enjoyed his OD.
>>1082820
4 straight days of crack, cocaine, heroin, prozar, weed, hookers...
Shit, this is history worthy
>>1066612
You mean CO poisoning senpai
CO2 poisoning is awful and is the cause of the suffocation feeling we associate with lack of air.
Not saying this to be a smartass merely so that in the event you wind up in this unlikely scenario you don't make the dumbest choice of your life.
>>1069129
> You can't pass out by holding your breath.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shallow_water_blackout
The more you know.
