ITT: Sum up a country's history in greentext. Others try to guess what it is. I'll start with an easy one.
>muh never conquered
>fucking pastas
>tfw no coastline
Here's another
>" "
>" "
>" "
Ethiopia
>>1016719
HRE
>fur
>defeat americans
>world war 1
>independence!
>>1016854
Canadia?
>>1016835
Right! Next one!
Hint: Not a country today.
>colonized by spain
>ruled by french pirates
>taken by mexico
>majority american population
>island
>someone else's clay
>stinky nationalists
>tfw all of cultural exports come from there
>>1016708
macedonia?
>>1017102
texas
>>1017117
yee boi
>philosophical pondering
>rational thought
>cultural flourishing
>wait... where's our military?
>shithole
>
>>1017115
nah, it was Ethiopia
>horses
>the ice, representing the harsh landscape and suitability of the people
>the water, representing the cool and stoic demeanor kept, even during truobled times
>the burning passionate fire beneath
Here are three pair countries.
>the glowing moon; a symbol of the geniality and artistery of it's people
>the star; a fierce, burning streak of light across the sky
>the rising sun; a symbol of hope
>>1017159
Russia
>>1017146
mongols?
>literally nothing but huts
>europeans arrive but dont give a fuck at first
>literally only useful for producing dye and wood
>soil and climate are not bad, start planting sugar and tobacco on the coast and literally ignore the rest
>natives refuse to work and europeans are too lazy to force them, better buy africans
>need more africans
>need MORE africans
>sometimes people starve because they refuse to plant food, focus on sugar only
>war on europe gets to here, netherlands invade
>steals the secrets of refining sugar and take it to the antilles
>netherlands btfo
>lose the monopoly over sugar
>find gold and diamonds on the middle of fucking nowhere
>goldrush.jpg
>literally fence diamond producing areas including people inside them
>tax most of the gold produced, take it to europe and build fucking churches
>start sucking england's dick
>start planting a little bit of coffee
>colony must help the royalty as they get btfo by napoleon
>suck england's cornwall some more
>independence because local elites are whining and sucession issues
>become a kingdom
>king is from europe
>really good king rises to power, progress everywhere
>revolution because all the cool kids want republics and france said it was cool
>coffee starts to bring in some real cash
>corruption everywhere
>numerous changes to the republican system
>"fascist" dictatorship, populist as fuck
>world wars bring immigrants that work well
>economy booms
>aligns with hitler
>aligns with the allies
>starts to align with the soviets
>America flies through my window
>"freedom is love, freedom is life"
>Coup d'Etat sponsored by murrica
>military dictatorship
>not the worst but not the best
>tortures and kills a couple communist revolutionaries, common citizens are alright
>system crumbles
>democracy
>remember the africans? they are many and they like welfare
>soft socialists rise to power
>corruption absolutely rampant, nobody knows so country booms and then start crumbling
>7-1
>political instability
>today
>>1017219
Holy shit I have no clue.
South Africa maybe?
>>1017219
Chile or Argentina?
>>1017219
chile
>start as small af brit colony
>get dicked with by portugese
>fight for king and country in world wars
>rebellious phase
>tell dad to fuck off, but pls be friends with us
>have some almost-segregation-but-not-quite policies
>give your soldiers /fa/ as fuck uniforms
>fight what is basically vietnam in africa
>UN comes in to hold elections
>some douche from the rebelling side bullies his way into office
>completely bootyblasts the economy
>leader talks like a WBC member during UN meeting
>old country meme'd about on 4chan to this very day
>>1017409
Zimbabwe
>One with nature
>Master warriors
>Never lost a war
>Tell the Spanish to fuck off when they want fish
>best communists
>let's all just multiculturalism
>genocide
>no more country
>>1017429
basically any communist country
>>1017421
Thailand or Nepal?
>>1017429
Yugoslavia obviously
>>1017138
Greece
>>1017409
Australia
>>1016901
Don't forget
>Get my capital burned down
>>1016708
>greatest country ever
>defeated the largest maritime empire twice
>won both world wars by themselves
>>1017219
>7-1
Practically handed us the answer desu
Brazeele
>>1017409
Mozambique or Angola
>be herdsman, marry princess, establish city
>somehow considered german despite not speaking it
>somehow integrate a whole new people despite only being semi related
>communism
>break up with that other people after communism peacefully
>>1017683
Joseph Stalin
>>1017683
France
>>1017683
Great Britain
>>1016708
Switzerland
>>1016719
>>1016854
Canada
>>1017102
Texas
>>1017113
Either Taiwan or Cyprus
>>1017138
Greece easily.
>>1017146
Mongolia
>>1017159
Russia?
>>1017170
No clue
>>1017219
Brazil
>>1017409
Rhodesia
>>1017421
No clue.
>>1017429
Yugoslavia
>>1017683
The Land of the Free
>>1017717
Czechoslovakia
My turn.
>Very dis-unified
>unify
>stagnate
>see we ain't shit
>try not to be scrubs
>get scrubbed anyway, there was no hope to begin with.
>>1017219
Brazil m8
>jävla jävla jävla
>oh thank god autonomy
>national identity formin'
>fuck off nikolai
>oh fuck civil war
>gib independence t. whites
>woo independence
>three wars where one would suffice
>*insert series of ass kissing for the Soviet Union*
>woo first world in record time
>kings n shiet
>colonized by portuguese
>colonized by spain
>colonized by VOC
>colonized by the dutch
>controlled by japan
>JAPS NUKED WE INDEPENDENCE NAO
>dutch returns with an allies
>DUTCH RECOGNIZES US WE'RE FREE
>led by a dictator
>>1016708
> frenchmen came from France to exterminate Indians
> British move in on their territory for those sweet, sweet fur-trapping bux
> hardy settlers survive the cold winters and the native attacks
> France and Britain at war
> French get btfo
> privileges granted to french Canadians so they don't chimp out against the Empire
> expand westward for King and country
> develop into a proper country with civic institutions
> Become a bulwark of the greatest Empire in the world
> fight in both world wars
> gain sovereignty
> called a meme country by ignorant Americans
The First Nations were probably up to something before they got btfo their own continent, but who gives a shit really?
>>1017917
>>colonized by the dutch
>>controlled by japan
this is an easy one, indonesia
>>1017917
Indonesia
>>1017847
well that's a bit obvious isn't it
>young but old
>taste is flavor
>royally cucked
>most of the conversation is along the lines of "mm" "hm" "mhm"
>>1017791
Hungary?
>>1017791
sounds like romania desu
>>1017954
Indiana?
>>1017968
you could probably not be further off the target
>>1017975
India?
All of humanity's groups:
>Slaves to the nobles
>Always reacting to the nobles
>Never being noble themselves
>Merica
>>1017975
Greece?
I have no idea what "young but old" means. Every country is "young but old". If you mean civilisationally old but only recently gained nationhood (after being a subject for a long time), only Greece, Egypt and India come to mind.
>>1017442
>fish
>Nepal
>>1017984
no, every country is not young but old
>>1017998
well maybe if you'd define what you mean by that...
>nothingbutsavages.jpg
>Europeans arrive and subjugate them
>bring civilization
>try to grow some cash crops so we aren't route taxing welfare babies like the ottomans
>diversify crops unlike other colonies becaus tobacco and sugar is bad meme
>agriculture is shit because savages chimp out too often and are lazy
>genocide them and bring in some africans
>don't import too many of them because plantation states are a trap
>intelligence pays off and urbanization happens early
>Haitian revolution happens and markets supplied by them are up for grabs
>ignore why coloy was successful and import a bunch of slaves
>tfw stagnation and economic dependence on motherland
>some faggots try to make us independent despite this fact
>Unpopular movement and no manpower so they tell their slaves they'd free them if they fought for the revolution
>economy crashes due to sudden disruption of 3/4ths of our income
>bunch of displaced slaves and war refugees everywhere
>glorious motherland wins
>never again.gif
>import tons of europeans so no more reliance on slaves or risk another slave revolt
>gradually free all the slaves and promote smaller scale diversified farming again
>some faggot tries the same thing again and fails AGAIN
>become a well adjusted, self sufficient colony after a while
>some other faggot tries AGAIN but it's indecisive, the movement becomes guerilla war out of spite.
>tfw false flaged by another power so they can jump in
>these revolutionary idiots think it's a good thing
>tfw they destroy glorious motherland and we become their colony instead
>Itoldyouso.webm
>despite being a clientstate we get a congress and eventually develope into a nice country
>finally get the opportunity to be truly free
>they start a coup to stop it
>some cool dude fights it and wins our independence
>turns out hes actually a faggot and destroys the country instead
>present day
>just another third world shithole
tfw we could have into nice place but it was not to be
>start shit
>get strong
>start shit
>get hit
>start shit
>get hit
>>1018036
Germany
>>1018039
2eezy I know
>>1018032
Cuba?
>we christians now!
>we in HRE now!
>we kangz now!
>we emperors now!
>we protestants now!
>we rebels now!
>we habsburgs now!
>we democracy now!
>we gommies now!
>we democracy now... again!
>Fucking DANES GET OUT REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>Lol we can into empire
>Fucking RUSSIANS GET OUT REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>1017683
belarus
>>1018050
Yes
Too easy?
>get conquered be every empire ever
>be an annoying pest overall
>forced to relocate around many times
>no one likes you wherever you go
>Get expelled from littleraly everywhere
>get your country back after some hardships
>>1018112
Germany
>>1018117
No, think it through again carefully.
>>1018112
Surely it's Armenia.
>>1018112
It's the Jews
>>1018132
Getting warmer
>>1018112
Maybe the gypsies? Well, minus the thing about their own country.
>>1018134
Bingo
>>1018061
sweden yes
>>1018052
Bohemia-Moravia.
>>1018139
Probably, but he forgot about the part where they got analy devastated by Russia.
>don't exist
>benevolent dictator makes you up
>claim ancestry from nation that existed 2300 years in the past with no connection in between
>>1018052
Hungary?
>>1018140
surely you mean the Former Czechoslovak Republic of Czech Republic and Slovak Republic
>>1018143
.. Korea?
>possesses "wmd's"
>Fought Romans like a boss
>Declared king and be strong indepedent kindomym
>Poor as shit and desperate
>Try luck
>Found sucess and racking in the money
>Lifeisgood.jpg
>What the fuck?
>Suddenly not indepedent anymore
>Punching back for someone else
>Left as a barely alive corpse
>Wealth gone
>Oh well, things could be worse
>It did
>justfuckmyshitup.jpg
>Muh glorious leader
Muh neutrality
>Muh last riches
>Damn it China
>Here I am now, irrelevant and out staged by my own fricken colony
>>1018153
Surely not Persia/Iran
>>1018143
Kosovo?
>>1018165
So close kek, I didn't know he claimed to be Macedonian.
Have WE WUZ gone to far?
>>1018159
Nope. Guess harder.
>>1018153
Portugal?
>>1018174
Bingo.
>>1018036
armenia
>>1017582
what a retarded guess
>small maritime kingdoms
>visited by Dutchies
>gets colonized, Christianized and educated
>visited by Japs
>gets anally raped
>gets indirectly freed by the Allied Forces
>economically stumbles like a seizure-prone baby to this day
>>1018599
Indonesia?
>It's been hard, but everything is going alright.
>Win the lottery.
>Fuck you all! Suck my dick!
>Bankrupt. Doesn't matter, I'm unbeatable.
>Beaten to death.
>Still cannot walk straight.
>I'm weak, but smart.
>My brother tries to bully me. Fuck you, I'm not your bitch!
>My friend helps me with the bully.
>Now I'm my friend's bitch.
>>1016708
> Fuck the Danes racewar now
> But Russia, I poop from there
>>1018640
Correct.
>blud fur blud god
>I will keel for the political power
>#2muchgold
>fucking lakes are great
>fuck everyone around us let's make triple alliance
>kill virgin women
>SHIT GOD IS ANGRY
>GET THE FUCK OUT NORMIES WITH SCARY WEAPONS
>MUH ANCESTOR's WRATH
>we /dead/ now
>>1017409
Rhodesia
Easy Tier
>BTFO Alexander
>BTFO Britian
>BTFO Soviets
>BTFO US
>"Where empires goes to die"
>>1018885
India
>>1018885
Afghanistan, but Afghanistan didn't BTFO the US. The US btfo the Afghani government.
>>1018866
Ottoman Empire?
>>1016708
>fuck all this water!
>and fuck you too, Spain!
>>1016708
>get conquered by different nations
>OH SHIT independence
>internal fighting happens
>northern half becomes occupied
guess
>>1018143
Waterworld
>>1019060
Cyprus
>>1018866
Mexica, aka the Aztecs.
>>1019050
Phillipeans?
>>1019077
Not enough fucking up water
>>1017138
Athens
>bunch of dutch land in a inhospitable wasteland and decide it's not worth it
>brits find a part of the country that's not completely shit, but still of little value
>nothing really interesting happens for the rest of it's history
>>1017791
Taiwan is right!
>>1019158
I want to say Namibia, but the last line would be wrong.
>>1018143
Macedonia
>>1019170
...India?
>>1017138
Korea?
>invade yurop, cocks swinging
>remove_indigenus_population.flac
>life is gr-
>fucking Avars
>fucking Bavarians
>fucking Jesus
>fucking Franks
>fucking Haspergs
>fucking Ottomans
>fucking Assbergs again
>finally, a chance to be free!
>we finally have a state to call our ow-
>fucking Serbs
>fucking Italians
>fucking Germans
>fucking Serbs ag-
>y'know what? No. Independance nao.
>communist leaders laughing as they keep stealing money
>collaborants chuckling as they prevent cohesion among the populace
>"w-we're not a 2nd world banana republic, we swear!!"
>>1019285
Albania?
>>1016708
>pick on slavs
>slavs get butthurt and shoot political leader
>cry to big brother and declare war
>slavs get their big brother and his friends
>ruin continent for nearly a century
>>1019304
Nope, less bunkers and islam
>>1019368
Croatia then I'm guessing.
>UNGA BUNGA FUCKING ANGLOS
>get spooked by monk with iron glove and a fireplace
>make a stone
>cuck germans
>cuck neighbours
>cuck english kings
>get cucked by merchants
>DUDE SUPERPOWER LMAO
>angry pirate king
>Stopping with the clergy was a mistake
>dude protestantism lmao
>w-we wuz superpower and shit
>WE """"""""colonies"""""""""" NOW
>DUDE 3 VOLTAIRE TIER REFORMS A DAY LMAO
>pls no britain we dindu nuffin
>NOT AGAIN BRITAIN
>cucked again
>CAN GERMANS EVEN FIGHT LMAO
>pls no Prussia
>hey great powers you want a free daughter? very cheap ;)
>muh butter and pork trading empire
>how u like your nazi invasion, senpai
>JUST
>>1019438
Denmark...?
>>1017159
Iceland?
>>1017219
>dye, wood
>slaves
>netherlands invade and btfo
brazil -- how could any1 mess this up
>>1019373
Extremely close, literally the only country left is...
>>1019551
Slovenia
>we wuz kings
>gib clay neighbor
>gib a lot of clay neighbor
>GIB ALL YOUR CLAY FAGS REEEE
>build wall
>>1019562
Bingo, the only 2nd world country that didn't get assblasted by the Serbs or NATO, while still remaining a corrupt banana shithole
>muh empire
>>1019566
Israel?
>muh worthless land
>lol let's put some cows here
>????
>PROFIT!!!
>get assfucked by Spanish Empire
>get assfucked by Portuguese Empire
>we independence nao because fuck you
>stay irrelevant for the rest of its history
>bawwww this party's been governing for a long while already
>CIVIL WAR
>bawwww they won't stop governing it
>CIVIL WAR II
>WE WUZ AMERICA'S SWITZERLAND
>get assfucked by greedy dictators
>stay irrelevant afterwards
>need land
>make land
>cuck spanish
>muh empire
>import jews
>$$$$
>>1019217
Yup!
>>1017918
Canada. A bit obvious mate.
>>1018768
Canada
>>1018974
India got assraped by Britain whatchu talkin bout?
>>1019650
argentina?
>>1021106
Close.
>>1018143
israel
>>1017683
Hwan
>>1019650
Change
>assfucked by Spanish Empire
>assfucked by Portuguese Empire
To
>Colonized by Spain
>assfucked by hues
And it's Uruguay.
>used to be colonized by the brits
>merged with a country before but it didn't end well
>founding fathers took 50 years to transform the country from a third world to first world
>>1019593
Try again
>>1019438
france
>>1016708
>be British colony
>got rekted in WW2
>yea fuck this we want out
>got JUST after independence
>muh benevolent dictatorship
>actually most of our prog...
>MUH BENEVOLENT DICTATORSHIP
>he dead
Gonna be hearing this for the next 10 years
>>1024038
rhodesia?
>>1017219
>>independence because local elites are whining and sucession issues
this is not why brazil became independent
>>1017709
neither were english colonies
>>1018143
macedonia
>>1018153
how the fuck is this portugal lol
you make it sound like you became independent from the romans
also at least mention boats and codish ffs
>>1019050
netherlands
>>1024033
no, uruguay was assfucked by the portuguese
>>1024038
ireland?
>muh silver
>muh independence
>muh wars against monkeys
>muh italian """""""colonisation"""""
>muh we're white i swear
>non-ironically actually becoming 1st world
>disorganized agrarian pagans
>get catholic'd
>get luther'd
>function as a meatshield
>get raped
>get raped 2 russian boogaloo
>peaceful nationalism
>independence
>>1024184
some baltic country
>>1024192
close
>>1024184
finland?
>>1024198
yes
>>1019314
Austria
>>1016708
US
>Hated the Brits: Revolution
>Hated several empires in the world: Fought them and won.
>Hated Communism: Won.
>Starting to hate the world.
>To be continued...
>Where did my son's hand go?
>Where did all the Belgians go?
>Where did the funny hat man go?
>Where did our friendship with Rwanda go?
>>1026636
>>Hated several empires in the world: Fought them and won.
"no"
>>1017219
I knew it was Brazil by the first 6 lines.
>>1026761
Anon you know the US defeated all the empires it fought (1812 was a tie)
>>1026838
t. Eternal American.
>>1019438
Poland.
>>1026849
>Implying the Eternal American isn't the Eternal Anglo with different clothes
We were English and sheit once. Fucking non-anglos need to get out, those fuckers ruined this nation.
