>ITT: History through Spongebob quotes
"We should take the factories...and push them somewhere else!"
>>1011468
>F IS FOR FIRE THAT BURNS DOWN THE WHOLE TOWN
>U IS FOR URANIUM BOMBS
>N IS FOR NO SURVIVORS
>>1011477
11/10
Oh, Barnacles
Quick, Dr. Werner Haase, without thinking: if you could commit suicide right now, what method would it be? Haase: Um…pistol-and-poison method.
That episode with the errands where Squidward hallucinates different ways of Spongebob fucking up.
>Germany and Italy on the same side in war
>>1013983
That's not a quote at all.
Once upon a time, there was a barnacle so ugly that everyone died. The end.
“Isn’t this great Squidward? It’s just the 3 of us. You, me, and this brick wall you built between us”
”I’m so cold, I can use my nose drippings as chopsticks.”
great fucking thread
” You’re nothing but pure evil! Just like the newspaper comics!”
“Did I Patrick? Did I? Or did your criminal mind hypnotize me to steal it?”
>>1011477
/thread
>>1011477
>We did it Patrick, we saved the city!
you like crabby patties, dont you squidward?
>>1011468
"Well it may be stupid, but it's also dumb."
>"Hey! Who ate my grain?"
>>1016836
"You ate my only food, now I'm gonna starve!"
>>1016877
kek
>>1011468
"This is going to go straight to my thais."
“It’s a vast swirling wonderland of sparkling white pleasure. Let it fill your senses with cascading fluffy pillows of excitement, and comfort, as you’ve never felt before.”
“If I were to die right now in a fiery explosion due to carelessness of a friend…. Then it would just be alright.”
>>1011468
"Hey Patrick, what am I?"
"Uhhhh stupid?"
"No I’m Texas."
"…what’s the difference?"
>>1011477
Truman, thats not what fun is all about!
Ohhhh. This is the tongue, and... the whole thing... is the... worm.
"Too bad Spongebob isn't here to enjoy Spongebob not being here."
"I don't get it. I made my house a mess, which was making it clean, which made Squidward clean my yard, but that really means he's messing it up. But the opposite of clean is filth, which means filth is clean, that means Squidward is really making my yard a wreck, but I normally wreck my own yard which means, Squidward is being the opposite of Squidward which means he's SpongeBob! A-ha! I understand everything now! I must be the opposite of SpongeBob! By being..."
>>1011468
>Are you feeeeling it nooow mr Krabs
>>1016805
BOMBER HARRIS DO IT AGAIN
>>1016836
To add,
"Holographic meatloaf? My favorite!"
I'VE GOT THE UGLY!
>free balloon day
"Ravioli ravioli give me the formuoli"
Firmly grasp it!
>>1017228
fuck my sides
>>1017151
Who are you calling pinhead.
"Just the 3 of us.You, me, and this brick wall you built in between us.
"The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma."
>>1017438
Lol
>Do you smell it? That smell. A kind of smelly smell. The smelly smell that smells... smelly.
>...Communists
>>1017216
hahahahahahahah
You can't fool me! I listen to public radio!
that's it, mister, you just lost your brain privileges!
I knew no good would come from city folk and their flying machines!
1% Evil, 99% Hot Gas
>>1017587
kek
We're not doing so well, Patrick. We need a new approach, a new tactic.
Let's get naked!
>F IS FOR FRIENDS WHO DO STUFF TOGETHER
>U IS FOR YOU AND ME
>N IS FOR ANYWHERE AND ANYTIME AT ALL
>We did it, Patrick! We saved the City!
Hitler Looking towards the Soviet Union
>"I don't need it....I don't need it...I DEFINITELY don't need it...."
>>1017151
>"I'm ugly and I'm proud!"
>"That's it mister! you just lost your brain privileges!"
>>1016836
underrated
>>1012598
> "being grown up is boring. Besides, I don't 'get' Jazz."
>Squidward! You're just in time to enlist in my army! Join me, and together we'll defeat the Pink Menace!
>>1019682
. "that's me!"
"This is not your average, everyday revisionism. This is... ADVANCED revisionism."
>>1011477
ahahahahahahaha
>>1013983
>you finished with those errands?
“Squidward that’s not the peace treaty"
."So much later that the old narrator got tired of waiting and they had to hire a new one"
>>1019750
10/10
“HAHAHAHA THAT GUY GOT HIT IN THE HEAD WITH AN ICEPICK HAHAHA.”
Mr. Krabs: "Well, it makes you look like a girl!"
Spongebob: "Am I a PRETTY girl?"
"East?! Oh, I thought you said Weest!"
Spongebob *With shoelaces untied* "I'm ready--*Falls*--OOF! I'm ready--*Falls*--OOF! I'm ready--*Falls*--OOF!"
>"can I be excused for the rest of my life?"
>>1019888
top kek
>What do you usually do when I’m gone?
>Waiting for you to come back ;_;
>Well it's no secret that the best thing about a secret, is secretly telling someone your secret, thereby secretly adding another secret to their secret collection of secrets. Secretly!
>Well, it's not a secret that the best thing about a secret is secretly telling someone your secret, thereby secretly adding another secret to their secret collection of secrets. Secretly.
>What could be worse than a foreign challenge to my royal authority?
>"Ja, Buns und ties"
>>1011468
>No, I'M Dirty Dan!
>CHOOOOOCLAAAAATE
>It's a Giraffe!
>holy
>roman
>empire
>>1020025
HOLY FUCK MY SIDES ARE CROSS THE ATLANTIC
Dont even need to provide a quote for this one
"We shall never deny a guest even the most ridiculous request,"
![queen-elizabeth-ii-3[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/DaoYC97.jpg "queen-elizabeth-ii-3[1].jpg")
>“You just CAN'T WAIT for me to die, can you?”
>>1020470
>HINGA DINGA DURGEN
my fucking sides
why is spongebob so based
![brit_versailles[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/XzK5ZE2.jpg "brit_versailles[1].jpg")
>SpongeBob: We signed a peace treaty, Squidward. You were right, fighting is for children.
>Squidward: No, no, no, I misled you, it's for adults too! Give me that peace treaty! [rips the treaty into pieces] There! Let the war continue!
>SpongeBob: Squidward, that wasn't the peace treaty. That was a copy of the peace treaty.
>Squidward: Look, you two are giving up too easily. Now, Patrick, pretend I'm SpongeBob.
Patrick: And who am I?
>Squidward: You're Patrick.
>SpongeBob: Can I be Mr. Krabs?
>Squidward: No! Wait, why?
>SpongeBob: He's a good leader.
And thats how World War II began.
"KEEP GOING, YOU'RE GOOD! YOU'RE GOOD! YOU'RE GOOD!"
He's just standing there..... menacingly!
>>1011477
Perfect
WHAT I LEARNED AT BOATING SCHOOL IS
>>1020869
Hehe.
>>1013983
D for effort
>>1016780
Holy fucking shit that's good
>>1011468
>Air is not good Patrick! Air is not good!
Diocletian: "I've got the pieces"
Constantine: "I've got the air"
"That smelly smell that smells...smelly"
>>1019965
Mecca Kaaba in a nutshell.
>>1019877
Kek
>"Oh well, I guess I'm not wearing any pants today!"
Hey Patrick
What?
I thought of something funnier that 24.
Let me hear it.
25.
>>1020246
>"You're not, holy?"
>Nope.
>"And you're not Roman."
>Nope.
>"You are a loose conglomerate of states. And if that's the case, you must not be an empire."
>That makes sense to me.
>"Then what are you?"
>I'm the Holy Roman Empire
>>1021190
Just for the record, all of those guys would have said "socialism," not communism.
>>1020952
Underrated.
>>1017611
>We're not doing so well, Patrick. We need a new approach, a new tactic.
>Let's get naked!
>Don't worry captain, we can buff out those scratches!
>>1023069
>not "Leedle leedle lee."
>>1017184
I don't get it
>You used me...FOR LAND DEVELOPMENT!
>Now I'm going to starve!
>>1020553
Fuck I didnt expect to laugh at this
>SpongeBob: Don't run! They hate that!
>Squidward: Thanks for the tip. I guess I'll just limp home, then.
>Both: No!
>SpongeBob: They hate limping more than running!
>Squidward: Well, I guess I'll just have...
>SpongeBob: I should have warned you about crawling.
>Squidward: What'd I do that time?
>SpongeBob: I don't know! I guess he just doesn't like you.
>My leg!
>"Oh, these aren't homemade. They were made in a factory... a bomb factory. They're bombs."
>"This is not your average, everyday darkness. This is... ADVANCED darkness."
>It feels like someone....WANTS TO SELL ME SOMETHING!
>FUUUUUUTUUURE
>FUUUUUTURE
>>1016780
on point
>>1020025
10/10 lost my shit at 3 in the morning.
>>1020501
>>1019934
gave me feels
>>1017438
Best one
>>1011468
"Too bad that didn't kill me"
Hey Patrick
What?
I thought of something funnier that 24.
Let me hear it.
6 million.
Goodbye everyone, i'll remember you all in therapy.
>>1020553
"I knew no good would come from city folk and their flying machines!"
"If I'm lucky, Mr. Talent will rub his tentacles on my art."
>>1017228
"Pop the bubble! Pop the bubble! Pop the bubble!"
>>1024995
11/10
>It all started when i was born
>>1024995
Good pull m80.
>>1011477
>>N IS FOR NO SURVIVORS
There's an old saying lad, what doesn't kill ya usually succeeds in a second attempt.
>>1023282
KEK
The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma.
"Rectangles!"
VICTORY SCREECH
>>1020952
BLANKETY
BLANKETY
BLANK!
>>1023109
welfare
>>1021052
Underrated post
>>1020025
holy fuck
>Lad, I can't help it if you're loose with other people's money
>>1024666
Nice try Satan.
>Lots and lots of felonies
"We can do this the semi hard easy challenging way...with a bit of awkward"
Is Spongebob still good? I'm almost tempted to start watching it again.
>>1026781
Depends on the seasons.
"We shall never deny a guest, even the most ridiculous request"
>>1026781
Old good = still good, new = always bad
>>1026808
I've seen plenty of good new episodes.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iiNzuPPbAHE
One of the best threads ive seen in a while
>>1025015
I think a more accurate one would be the ugly barnacle story
"SpongeBob, I can't take it anymore. If we keep this up, neither of us will win the award!"
>>1011468
12/10 thread great job OP
LIFE IS AS EXTREME AS YOU WANNA MAKE IT
Don't you have to be stupid somewhere else?
Not until 4.
>>1026820
That isn't new.
The pioneers used to ride these babies for miles!
Best damn thread all week.
>>1020952
I appreciate this one.
>>1017012
kek
>>1019760
Nice
>>1020952
Don't get it
>>1017012
Christ
East? I thought you said, "Weast."
>>1023069
>Where's the leak, ma'am?
Squidward, we must never question the wisdom of the Magic Conch. The club always takes its advice before we do anything.
LIVING LIKE LARRY
>>1020479
10 out of 10
>>1027118
underrated post
absolutely based thread
>Patrick, I don’t think Wumbo is a real word.”
>"Come on. You know, I wumbo, you wumbo, he/she/me wumbo. Wombology, the study of wumbo! It’s first grade Spongebob!”
>"Imaaaaaaginaaaatioon"
>WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY DRINK?!
>"Welcome to our cluuub, welcome to our cluuuub. WELCOME SQUIDWARD WELCOME SQUIDWARD WELCOME SQUIDWARD"
>>1028507
YOU FORGOT THE SODA
>SOILED IT!
>SOILED IT!
>SOILED IT!
>Siiiiidebuuuurrrns...
>Ya-hoo! The strike worked, Squidward! We got our jobs back! Forever!
>>1011468
The fact that a spongebob thread is one of the best threads in the last month on /his/ is really telling of the board quality.
>>1016976
Kek'd.
I'm gonna kick your butt.
>>1028650
Spongebob threads are always good, though.
And there have been some really nice threads recently, like the one about bad designs of history.
>Patrick! You forgot how to eat again!
>Come on, we'll get the funnel
More like, "belongs in the trash!" HA HA HA HA HA
>>1028720
MLK was cool, though.
>How many times do we have to teach you this lesson Old Man!
>>1028647
Holy shit, rofl
>>1028332
DELET
>>1028732
Yeah I also enjoy beating white prostitutes, just like MLK himself.
>>1028766
Christ
>>1028766
Golden
>>1021052
godlike
>>1028766
Top Fucking kek
![2000px-Germanborders.svg[1].png](https://i.imgur.com/dBw1Cru.png "2000px-Germanborders.svg[1].png")
>You're good, you're good, you're good.
I love the young people.
>I am the master at KARA-TAY
![Lysenko_in_field_with_wheat[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/R9WJr8m.jpg "Lysenko_in_field_with_wheat[1].jpg")
>We’d better do what he says… he knows how to grow food.
>>1026803
Underrated
>>1017597
>he votes Labour
>he hates lodesamone
>HRE:0% holy,0% roman,0% empire.
>>1028538
ayy
>>1019779
Holy fuck, I choked on my drink
I have an idea.
Really? What is it?
Let's leave.
>>1032311
AHAHAHAHA
I'M HYDRODYNAMICALLY DESIGNED
>>1029156
>this fucking stormfront meme again
>"I love the young people"
"Just get out of here you stupid, dumb, ANIMAL"
>Squidward, we don't need a television. Not as long as we have our... [makes a rainbow over his head with his hands] ...imagination!
>>1023144
This one made me kind of sad ;-;
>>1029156
why does their race matter?
>Patrick, what are you doing here?
>I THOUGHT THE CORPS WOULD HELP ME STRAIGHTEN OUT MY LIFE SIR
>>1017151
>head like a fucking banana
He and Karl should do a show together
>>1028507
>You said to put some hemlock in your drink...
>hehehe
>BUT I PUT NIGHTSHADE IN THERE INSTEAD
>>1028491
I dont get it,
>>1036137
Lel
>>1020501
>Well... at least I still have my personality...
>Barnacles, what could be worse than a giant overextended empire?
>I know!
>TWO giant overextended empires!
We've been smeckledorfed
>Aw cheer up squidward! It could be worse
>Yeah. You could be bald and have a big nose
>Oh... East! I thought you said Weest.
>>1037196
sleep tight bomber
>I'm absorbing his blows as if I'm made of some kind of spongy material!
>>1037456
Those are probably different people, since that one is incredibly obvious.
>Squidward: Could you not stand so close? You're making me claustrophobic.
>Patrick: What does claustrophobic mean?
>SpongeBob: It means he's afraid of Santa Claus.
>Squidward: No, it doesn't.
>Patrick: Ho, ho, ho! [giggles]
>SpongeBob: Stop it, Patrick, you're scaring him!
>>1037740
Kek
>>1037352
>Is this China?
>No, this is Zhongguo.
>(whistling)
>Is this China?
>NO, this is Zhonghua!
>Is this China?
>NO, THIS IS THE HAN DYNASTY!
>I am NOT a China.
>>1030361
underrated
>>1017590
>F-35
>>1039745
That's an f-22 f-35 only has one engine
