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Short Scoop
2016-07-14 03:18:47 Post No. 37916893
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Short Scoop
2016-07-14 03:18:47
Post No. 37916893
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Fuck me bruhs. Just. Fuck. Me. I followed the "B-BREH" meme. I got into "THICK" chicks.
So ensues what I thought was going to be a proud /fit/ story after taking my 1 1/2 scoops of whey, but NO, this shit happens:
>>OKCupid cute chick, decide to meet up. I'm intrigued because it's like ordering something new from the bakery, right?
>>Baker decides to try out an extra fluffy batch just for me
>>Like, fuark m8. I didn't ask for the extra filling
>>She's alright otherwise. Not hamplanet mode, but extra-thhhyuuuck. I feel guilty that I'm not giving her enough credit; if it wasn't for the deception, I'd be kind of into her (into comics, actual gamer, reads, etc.)
>>BUT WAIT, give it another rep, see what really happens
>>try to pull some moves, but she doesn't move a single muscle -probably due to the laws of physics preventing her- to accept my advances
>>Find out the filling's actually full of Grade A, green-fed, non-GMO bullshit
>>She's got every single red flag a m8 can hoist. Messy relationship with parents? Check. Recent drug addictions? Check. Shitty friends? Check. Super SJW? Fuck, check that off. Curls in the squat rack? I don't fucking know but ye prolly
>>But then she mentions she's kinky. As in BDSM, submissive, likes getting her ass pounded/hair pulled/face slapped kinky.
>>Oh
>>Went from talking to suddenly cuddling, to a drawn out kiss, to full on fucking TEARING APART THAT GODDAMN EXTRA FLUFFY MUFFIN
>>At one point I was literally just trying to imitate my squat and deadlift forms while visiting pound-town
>>Finished up, and felt the same goddamn pain that I physically do when eating a muffin on my current cut
The shame b-brehs...the shame. My fingers are still recovering from the smell. God. Fucking. Damnit. I should have just fucking fapped.
Moral of the story? Take 2 fucking scoops of protein next time. Maybe that would've stopped this thick-chick madness.
Please tell me you bruhs have made mistakes like this before. P-pls.
