alpha stories thread
because you are the only alpha board, /fit
>>37847875
>>37847875
You forgot /pol/
>>37847903
kek
>>37847903
Nah, all they do is complain how fucked up society is in order to forget their own shitty personal lives.
>wait in line with some friends to get into a club
>some sandniggers start shit with the bouncers
>sandniggers look kinda scary as fuck, the type that will kill you for insulting them and you know they probably fight every weekend
>bouncer call for back up
>another bouncer comes out and talks to his colleagues what the problem is
>tall, muscular, well fitted shirt but way younger than his colleagues, probably around 23 years old
>looks like Charlie Hunnam with a buzz cut
>he approaches the sandniggers, shakes their hand and asks to talk to them / the leader
>whole crowd watches them because everybody expected and fight at this point
>he just places his hand on his shoulder and whispers something to him
>really friendly with a smile
>you see an affirmative nod by the leader, they all shake hands again and the problem is solved
>troublemaker leave the property
>'what a fucking alpha' comes to my mind and I turn around to talk about it with my friends
>I turn around and no kidding you could see in the faces of both girls in our group how wet they are, like a deer in the headlights
>I catched them a few times looking at the bouncer and trying to get his attention during the night
>no idea what he said to them
>at school like normal kid
>smaller kid punches my nuts
>litterally throw smaller kid into a tree
>>37848243
fuck man
>>37847875
Alpha story time? Alpha story time!
>be me
>doing Madcow 5x5 at gym
>walking to free weights area and see this fat asian on the treadmill
>going at like 2.5 mph sucking wind like there's no tomorrow
>want to encourage him
>start to press up on the speed and incline
>he looks at me and says "n-no, stop...please"
>I say "use your words chubs. Please what?"
>he can't even get it out, he's breathing so hard
>at 9.0 mph he literally busts ass and falls off the back of the treadmill
>a couple of PTs walk over and ask what happened
>I say he was trying to impress those girls by running fast and I pointed to a couple of qt cardio bunnies
>he literally can't even get any words out he's breathing so hard can only say "h-he..." pointing at me
>I say I came over to try and help him
>PTs make him go to the office and kicked him out of the gym and made him cancel his membership
>also had to pay $250 for "damaging the the equipment" from his fall
>>37849150
Thats not alpha thats called being a fucking asshole.
an alpha leads the pack, you're just a sad loner that compensates for insecurities by shitting on easy targets
>>37849150
"Thing that never happened" for 500
>>37849150
Is that Alpha? Or was that a made up tumblr story?
>>37848504
>Mentalimage.webm
Holy kek
>>37849150
Not alpha. You're just a fucking dick.
You try to encourage him and end up getting him kicked out of the gym?
Go take a good look in the mirror.
>>37848243
>"Stacey's drunkenly passed out right around the corner"
>>37849319
>>37849350
>>37849386
>>37849496
Big P's gonna have fun with these dyels.
>>37849544
>There's a goat farm nearby with only a few fence posts and sparse barbed wire
>>37848504
I head butted someone for disrespecting me
>>37849544
I don't get. German fag here. Please explain.
>>37849496
>>37849386
>>37849350
>>37849319
>retarded summerfags can't even recognize 3 months old pasta
>>37849150
that was awesome
>>37849150
You're doing god's work. If we let betas think they are allowed to be in our gym then who knows what else they'll start pushing for.
>>37847875
>As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be a Chad. To me, being a Chad was better than being President of the United States. Even before I first read Starting Strength, I knew I wanted to be a part of them. It was there that I knew that I belonged. To me, it meant being a sick cunt in a gym that was full of dyels. They weren't like anybody else. I mean, they did whatever. They maxed out without reracking their weights. In the summer, when they slammed Stacey with her yelling rape, nobody ever called the cops.
I messaged a female Dom on Craigslist last night. I'm going to be a sub now.
Alpha as fuck t b h
>>37847875
>3rd grade
>some dumb ass faggot liked me so he punched me in the eye(???)
>punch him, break lip, blood everywhere
>I get sent to the principal
That's pretty much all
>>37847875
I completely trashed this dude's bathroom at a party last night after he just kept running his mouth during beer pong. Like completely destroyed.
>ripped out every drawer and caninet door.
>put dark colored towels in toilet and flushed while ripping out the toilet water knob so he can't turn it off
>took a dump in the shower and used white towels to wipe and left them on the floor
>smashed the mirror
>took all of his toiletries and put them in the shower with my shit
>wrote on the unsmashed part of the mirror in permanent marker "YOU DID THIS"
Lol haven't seen him since but I showed my bro and we couldn't stop laughing. Had to leave like right after fucking lmao.
>>37847875
>at movie theater with sidebitch
>black guy serving food
>keeps making jokes to my girl about us seeing finding dori
>Alright sir, that will be $19.99, plus tip.
>stare at vendor icily for a few seconds.
>s-sir..?
>roundhouse kick vendor into popcorn machine, popcorn, blood and broken glass everywhere.
>"keep the change"
Alphas are born, not made.
>>37854603
What movie is this from?
>>37854698
That's not alpha, that's being a bitch loser.
>>37854935
Chadfellas.
>>37854736
I'll take "things that happened" for 400.
>>37854603
>implying Stacy would yell rape in the throes of continuous orgasm
>>37849150
what's wrong with a guy trying? he's in the gym already
>>37850171
Oh you should be quite familiar with this situation
>>37854698
this is alpha stories, not cowardly beta bitch stories
>>37847947
All I do is lift to forget about my shitty life though.
>>37855176
Kek if I'm such a coward then how come I haven't heard from him all day? Sounds like he's the bitch to me.
>>37847875
>exam asks me to prove that the angle alpha between the vector a and the resultant vector of unit vector a plus unit vector b bisects the angle theta between vectors a and b
>I've seen the proof before
>do it with ease
>>37848243
He probably listened to their problem and addressed it like an adultand deescalated by acknowledging their gripe while subtly explaining that it wasn't worth getting into a fight.
90% of a bouncers job is to do exactly this with out backing down and letting them dictate how the situation is going to unfold.
I bounced for 3 years and if you introduce yourself and make unbroken eye contact while listening and then calmly but firmly explaining that there is a level of decorum expected at your establishment then most issues go away. If they persist in escalating then you explain its time for them to go and they are welcome back if they can be gentleman next time.
They escalate further then you explain that they are leaving and that if they don't go on their own then you will put your hands on them and to not act surprised when you follow through and that if they win the fight they will be charged since the cops are going to be on my side. If they lose then they get beat up and the cops are still on my side.
>>37854698
Being a nigger isn't alpha
>heard my oneitis unironically beg me to cum inside her last week
>don't have oneitis anymore
>>37855364
If anything he is for running his mouth desu. Got what he had coming to him.
>>37854698
>Be me, 20ish disgusting fat body jacking to anime with no prospects
>Mummy and daddy fight every day
>Daddy leaves mummy
>Mummy is sad all the time
>Mummy wants to date but I'm always around
>Mummy wants me to improve myself and leave the nest
>Rage on /r4k/ for two years
>Read /fit/ and don't read the sticky
>Read sticky
>Post high test threads on /fit/
>Post feels threads on /fit/
>Post threads about protein timing and nofap
>Read sticky again
>Follow SL5x5 and put up 600 lb total
>Show mummy gains and ask for more tendies
>Gain enough confidence to sign up for community college
>Spot Chad struggling with math in sub 100 level math course
>Ask if he even lifts and spout a bunch of memes
>He chuckles nervously and lets me talk to him while he chats up other classmates during break
>Do Chad's homework and let him copy
>Show up at party because overheard Chad that copies my homework talking about it while I hover around his conversation while nodding and laughing
>Spot Chad at party but he keeps looking at the floor when I try to make eye contact
>Follow Chad out to backyard talking to him about manlets and how theres no high test women at the party
>Watch Chad and his bros play beer pong
>Call next on beer pong
>Dont know rules
>Keep fucking up and ruining game
>Pary host is oponent (5'9" manlet) tries to explain house rules
>Lose game
>Have to drink opponents side beers and spill all over myself
>Everyone laughs
>Go to bathroom to cry and wash my face
>Catch reflection and start mirin
>QT 3.14 walks in on me flexing and laughs at me
>Catch reflection again and tear up
>Destroy manlet's bathroom
>Post on 4chan about what a fucking alpha I am
chick here.
I dated two really hoy guys at once. Both of them knew.
>>37847903
yeah. no.
>>37855670
Nah but nice projecting.
Smoked some meth, broke into the zoo, had group sex with a silverback gorilla troupe.
>>37855789
hypergamy is the norm, not alpha
>>37856143
Greetings reddit.
>>37856143
>>37847875
i was kayaking at a boy scout camp and it was near some yachters, who if you didn't know are huge assholes. some of the yachter kids paddled up to me in their kayaks and asked if i had a boat, obv meaning a yacht.
i pointed to the kayak i was in and said, "are you fucking stupid?" then paddled off.
>ON MY WAY 2 FUK UR BICH
>>37856652
what kind of niche retort
>cashier tells me to have a nice day
>have a bad day instead
>>37858857
D E V I L I S H
E
V
I
L
I
S
H
>>37848243
>>37855342
>He probably listened to their problem and addressed it like an adult
>he just places his hand on his shoulder and whispers something to him
Nah the club is probably just owned/protected by some big shot criminal somehow related to the troublemakers or scary enough to make them shit their pants and get out of there
>>37849150
So many newfags not knowing this hurts a little bit
>>37847903
/pol/ is fucking beta asf
>MUH U NOT WHITE IM WHITE
>it's a "anon's can't handle satire" episode
>>37855342
>>37858942
In both cases it still is 'alpha'.
He was calm, friendly and solved the issue without violence.
I know bouncers who would beat the shit out of them because they are affiliated/protected by some big shot criminal.
>>37847875
>walking down the street
>lady asks me for directions
>give her the wrong directions
ALPHA
AS
FUG
