>be me
>be at a party
>walk into the room and it's filled with women
>3 guys in the corner talking about cars
>"heh... what a bunch of pussies"
>easly the most alpha guy in the room
>proceed to walk into the kitchen and do sugar free jelly shots with my girlfriends (I'm cutting weight)
>start to get a buzz
>walk over to the guys talking in the corner *lats flexed*
>bring up the topic of guns
>heh... these guys shoot 9mm. Betas.
>show them my desert eagle
>"whoa dude you brought a gun to the party!?"
>I whisper "I'm always prepared" under my breath
>a black guy shows up the party
>posture next to the jello shots to assert that I'm aware of his presence
>place my back strategically in front of a wall (never put your back to a door or an opening, might get attacked that way)
>hear a commotion out in the garage
>since I ALWAYS protect my perimeter, walk into the garage and see the commotion
>notice my friends motorcycle has fallen over
>they proceed to grab tools to move it
>"stand aside... I got this"
>"but anon... that must weight 600 pounds"
>deadlift the motorcycle and place it back into position
>"wow! I've never seen a man that strong" says a girl watching us
>"just doing my job, ma'm"
>proceed to walk into the kitchen and down 3 more sugar free jello shots
>have sex with my accomplished researcher wife in the car ride home
>>37397501
What kind of autistic b8 is this?
>>37397501
Gun safety is not a joke son.
>>37397501
what an absolute autist
>>37397501
Abhorrent
Donke?
BLA HA HAAAAA
>>37397596
Forgot pic
>>37397585
I don't realize why it's autistic, most people think like that when they want to control everything
>>37397501
Bloheno?
>>37397614
>lol my meals are still happy
>>37397501
>have sex with my accomplished researcher wife in the car ride home
>>37397632
>people who want to control everything (micro manage EVERYTHING)
>Not autistic
Pick one
>>37397501
That our boy Hemingway!
>>37397684
but woman micro manage everything and they are not considered autistic
You sound like Mac
whos the monster in the pic?
>go to kitchen to grab some gains
>see mom struggling with jar
>start making my pj sandwich
>she calls dad
>see dad struggling with jar
>eat my pj sandwich
>watch then do the towel thing, hitting the bottom ect X Failure
>finish sandwich
>take the jar from them
>say "squats and oats" as i open it with ease
>leave kitchen to shitpost my memes
Dis dat boi hemmmingway
>>37397987
>says "squats and oats" after eating a pbj sandwich
>>37398009
>shit post memes
>>37397501
>>"just doing my job, ma'm"
Lol'd fucking hard. This autism is gold. Thx for this bit of fiction, OP. Fully enjoyed.
>>37397501
My only problem is that you drew your concealed carry needlessly.
>>37397501
This was the most autistic thing I've read all day.
Are you people new to 4chan? LEL AUTISTIC B8 X^)
Its so obviously satire
>>37397501
You retard returning a bike to its original position doesn't require you to deadlift the entire weight. You were probably using torque to to move the load in the upright position. Meaning if the bike was 3 ft high you were only lifting lmao200lbs
>>37397790
"I had cleared him"
>>37397887
Jason Blaha I think.
>>37397501
johnson "jiggles when he wiggles" blahino
>"just doing my job, ma'm"
I am laughing out loud
WE ALL NEED TO POST "POG" ON HIS VIDEOS don't ask questions just do it
>>37398470
Fuck you Jason you ain't getting any views.
get called up to class, teacher shows bicep/tricep contraction, get made fun of small muscles by teacher as a joke, do 10 handstand pushups easy peasy. My bicep curl was only 20 lbs 3x10...but my tricep extension was actually 3x8 85lbs...and my OHP was 130 3x10.
>I was actually learning breakdancing before I lifted so I could walk on my hands for a longass time and do poses, but no one respekz muh gainz on my tris because biceps and chest only matter
>camping in the mountains with my younger brothers and their friends.
>be only one graduated and salaried
>drive new pickup for work
>truck bed becomes chill spot.
>short thin qt wants to come on up
>I'm standing on the rails leaning on the roof
>grabbed qt's hand and and pulled her right up to her feet on the truck boxrail
>"whoa anon, I didn't expect that"
>mires all around
Feltgoodman.png
Marine drill sergeant shitting on me for being skelly, do 15 pullups. "wow you're pretty strong anon. Do 30 when bootcamp is over or you aint graduating faggot!"
> I actually trained and lifted for a few months before I came, I could actually do 21
>>37397501
Damn son, you autistic
>end of first month of high-school.
>social order falling into place as everyone gets put into their respective category.
>cool kids can't decide if I'm autist or just aloof.
>fuccboi gunning for alpha status challenges me to arm-wrestling match.
>all the girls cheer him on and make fun of me (because I shut them all down hard when they started acting like hot shit.)
>helped dad out doing manual labour since age 7.
>do that thing where I almost lose and then slam him in an instant.
>three times.
>tell him I'm left handed. we did it right-handed.
>humidity rises because of all the pants-moistening going on.
>become best friends.
>guy is a massive pussy and I fight all his fights for him, but he knows a lot of people because super-extroverted so he gets us into lots of clubs and parties.
>>37397501
>>37397501
Are you jason blaha?
Autism
>>37397501
>be jacked but high bodyfat
>not aesthetic but strong
>go to smash bros. tournaments
>we have these heavy old CRT TVs which we need to play on
>see some of the players carry them around
>they carry them around 2 on 1 CRT
>see a gigantic CRT on the ground there
>organizer tells me: "yeah anon this one is heavy as fuck, can you help me with it"
>"nah no need"
>I just fucking lift it my myself
>carry that shit to it's designated place
>he yells: "dude you really don't need any help?"
>"I'm fine man"
life is great, thanks for motivating me to lift /fit/izens
>>37398543
if you hit pause it doesnt give him views and im trying to get him to admit he is a piece of shit
>>37398672
>drill sergeant
>not drill instructor
you phony
>>37399104
who cares if you lift you go to smash tournaments
>>37397501
So those of you who don’t believe any of this, that’s okay I really don’t give a fuck. I’m still telling my story. This is what it is and if you don’t believe me fuck you go fuck yourself i don’t care. For all these guys who are veterans who are standing there still screaming about your valor, stolen valor, after what i just told you that that sounds like i am stealing any of your valor, you know what? Fuck you kid. And go fuck yourself I don’t really care what you think. But i will tell you this. If you decide that you’re going to come confront me physically about it you better not be a fucking POG. You better be a stone cold killer. If you come at me aggressively voice raised negative body language as someone who i know is a trained killer. Because i don’t flinch anymore when i hear a rifle round come by my head. When i hear that whoop and that snap or that sonic boom. I haven’t flinched in 20 years from that shit. I got over that a long time ago. So if you come at me i want you to know something. It’s not gonna be me who goes in the ground. I’m still here. I’m still upright and drawing air.
>>37397501
I found a pic of OP at the party
>>37397501
That better be Bait
Tackled a burglar who stole 15.000€
Also plain physical labour others would fail at, but that's not really public.
I don't lift btw
>>37399636
By others i mean people who are there at the moment, not generally noone else. One could assume that with all the autists here
At first I was afraid
I was petrified
Kept thinking I could never live
Without you by my side
But then I spent so many nights
Thinking how you did me wrong
And I grew strong
And I learned how to get along
And so you're back
From outer space
I just walked in to find you here
With that sad look upon your face
I should have changed that stupid lock
I should have made you leave your key
If I had known for just one second
You'd be back to bother me
Go on now go walk out the door
Just turn around now
'Cause you're not welcome anymore
Weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye
Did you think I'd crumble
Did you think I'd lay down and die
Oh no, not I
I will survive
Oh as long as I know how to love
I know I'll stay alive
I've got all my life to live
I've got all my love to give
And I'll survive
I will survive (hey-hey)
It took all the strength I had
Not to fall apart
Kept trying hard to mend
The pieces of my broken heart
And I spent oh so many nights
Just feeling sorry for myself
I used to cry
But now I hold my head up high
And you see me
Somebody new
I'm not that chained up little person
Still in love with you
And so you felt like dropping in
And just expect me to be free
And now I'm saving all my loving
For someone who's loving me
Go on now go walk out the door
Just turn around now
'Cause you're not welcome anymore
Weren't you the one who tried to break me with goodbye
Did you think I'd crumble
Did you think I'd lay down and die
Oh no, not I
I will survive
Oh as long as I know how to love
I know I'll stay alive
I've got all my life to live
I've got all my love to give
And I'll survive
I will survive
[x2]
>>37399699
>that webm
SOMEONE MADE A WEBM ABOUT THE EGGS AUTIST? IS THERE A VERSION WITH SOUND? PLS ANON
>>37398041
>fiction
>hoping
>>37398740
This is the best Of Mice and Men fanfic I've ever read.
